Summary: Anti-Huddy. A songfic with an accompanying fanvid about House reflecting on his and Cuddy's relationship.

Disclaimer: I don't own House or Cuddy. I don't own the song lyrics in italics, those belong to Theory of a Deadman and their record company.

A/N: I heard this song on the radio a few days ago and from the first lyrics to the end of the song, all I could think about was House and Cuddy's relationship and how perfect this song is for them. Seriously, I feel like this song could have been written for House and Cuddy. So of course I had to write a songfic and make a fanvid, which can be viewed at (if you delete the spaces when you paste the link) http:/ www . youtube . com/watch?v=LcBTflZAetg

Thanks for reading and watching!

Not Meant To Be

Twenty-four minutes after he first heard the urgent pounding on his apartment door that turned out to be his best friend in considerable distress and need of a drink, House heard another, more brisk-sounding knock. He opened the door to reveal his girlfriend and lay for the evening. Cuddy. She was the reason he'd had to send the aforementioned best friend home to get drunk all alone. Because she would give him sex now that they'd made up and Wilson wouldn't. It was an offer he couldn't refuse. He and Cuddy hadn't had sex in weeks because they were fighting, and who knew how long they would remain on good terms this time before their next argument?

It's never enough to say I'm sorry
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between
What you wanted from me
And knowing if I give that to you I might just disappear

Who knew how long they would remain together before the inevitable explosion that would be their breakup?

Nobody wins when everyone's losing
Oh, it's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I can't change your mind

House knew it would happen. He'd known it would happen from the moment Cuddy told him she loved him when he was sitting on his bathroom floor considering relapsing on drugs. And he'd even warned her about it, but she'd refused to listen. She'd insisted she loved him just as she was, so he'd told her he loved her back and hesitantly pressed forward with the relationship.

Oh, it's like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want and it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be

It was true that he loved her, but he wasn't willing to change for her, and whatever she said to the contrary, he knew she wanted him to. Her actions spoke volumes. The reason tonight was the first time in weeks they would have sex again was because he had lied to her to save the life of his patient. This was something he'd done countless times before. It was something she'd forgiven him for countless times before because she'd known he was right. The only reason it was different this time was because now she was his girlfriend, and now it was no longer okay for him to lie to her.

It's never enough to say I love you
No, it's never enough to say I try
It's hard to believe that there's
No way out for you and me
And it seems to be the story of our life

He'd tried to get her to see his side. He only did it to save a man's life. A man that would have died had House been honest with Cuddy. He still believed it was the right thing to do. A life was more important than House not lying to his girlfriend. How could someone deny that? Cuddy, however, had refused to forgive him, so House had decided to make the Houseian move of trying to catch Cuddy in a lie to make them even. He had succeeded in catching her in a lie, but when he called her out on it, instead of rebalancing the universe, it had just made things worse. She'd been hurt and disappointed that he'd had to try and manipulate her rather than apologizing to her. The only reason she was coming over to sleep with him tonight was because he'd lied to her face again to tell her he was sorry for lying to her in the first place.

Nobody wins when everyone's losing
Oh, It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I can't change your mind

Yes, maybe Cuddy said she didn't want House to change, and maybe she said she loved him just as she was, but she really didn't. The guy she was in love with, the brilliant and devil-may-care but also thoughtful and considerate guy, didn't exist. He was a figment of her imagination.

Oh, it's like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want and it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
That maybe we're not meant to be

She was determined not to see this, but House knew that eventually she would give up. Eventually she would realize that House wasn't what she really wanted in a partner. Eventually she would leave.

There's still time to turn this around
You could be building this up
Instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking
Maybe it's too late.

House wanted to postpone that day for as long as possible, but he knew it was coming. The couple had hardly gone two weeks without an argument since the start of their relationship, and things showed no signs of improving. House was just running out the clock. They both were. Get as much out of this for as long as possible. Get while the getting's good.

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I can't change your mind

He knew he would miss it when it ended, and not just the sex. Though they really didn't have anything in common other besides the sex, he would miss the way she acted around him when they weren't fighting. He would miss having her smile at him, having her think she loved him. He would miss being in a relationship with her.

Oh, it's like trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want and it's killing me
And I, I finally see
Maybe we're not meant to be

So that was why Wilson had needed to leave. Wilson would be best friends with House...hopefully forever. Their relationship wasn't a sure thing, but it was a hell of a lot more stable than House's and Cuddy's. They could hang out after House and Cuddy broke up. But while she was still here, still his girlfriend, he didn't want to waste any of the precious time they had left. He didn't know how much more of it there would be.

It's like one step forward and two steps back,
No matter what I do you're always mad,
And I, baby I'm sorry to see
Maybe we're not meant to be


A/N: Here's the link for the accompanying video again if you haven't watched it yet.

http:/ www . youtube . com/watch?v=LcBTflZAetg