A/N: So this might be a little bit angsty, but I can't get this idea out of my head. I've been avoiding others' fics (except for one that came highly recommended). I apologize if my fic bares any resemblance to someone else's but there are probably too many post-'Doctor' fics to keep up with. This is based on the song A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans. I will say that I am optimistic about things now, but this was dying to be written and I couldn't focus on updating Love on the Inside while this was still bouncing around.
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Her alarm goes off for the fourth time and she sends a quick text to Cam, telling her she'll be late. Her boss responds quickly, telling her that there's nothing pressing at the moment since they rapped the Garcia case last week so she can take my time. She knows her colleagues have all been worried about her. She knows she let the Eames case get to her. Those conversations only provided insight to her own life. Since that car ride home, since that conversation with him, she can hardly focus at work. There are so many more things she wants to do. No regrets has become her new mantra, a promise to herself she intends to keep. She doesn't want to go to work today. Not now. Not when she could be spending time with her nieces or playing cards with her father. Not when she has a life to live.
But she gets ready for work anyway, going through her morning routine. She brushes her teeth, does her hair and eats a quick breakfast. Looking at herself in the mirror, she smiles. She knows she'll get through the day just like she did the day before. And the day before that one. She is not a weak person. One would think that after such hardships that she's been through would tear a person down. Not her. She's overcome all of those trials and tribulations and became a strong woman for it.
But there are those rare moments when things just seem to try to tear her down.
She gets in her car. Normally, she can avoid the traffic she's currently stuck in. Normally, she'd already be at the lab. But now that she's driving to work with all of the average John's or whatever that saying is, she has time. Time to think. Time to think about what has happened in her life. She doesn't want to dwell on it. She doesn't want to dwell on him. So she turns on the radio, not something she does often. But when the lyrics to their song soar through her speakers, she wants to turn it off. Her hand hovers over the power button on the dashboard but she can't do it. So she listens about fevers and dancing and warmer than usual blood. A few verses in, she comes to her senses and hits the button so hard, the button becomes stuck. She doesn't seem to care that her radio is now broken. She can't dwell on it, him, them. It hurts too much. But she sits a little straighter in the driver's seat and focuses on the cars ahead of her.
She's almost gotten used to the little twinge she feels every time he calls her about a case. It doesn't hurt anymore. It's been over a month. She's only cried once since that night. She won't allow herself, even though Angela says it would be good to let it all out. Angela doesn't seem to understand her plight, though she tells her she's been through heartbreak before as well. But she tells Angela she's adjusted. It only took her three days for her brain to fully comprehend what had happened.
She knows she'll never be the same, thanks to him. In both ways, good and bad. He'll always be her biggest regret. But she knows that it has changed her for the better.
So even on the days like these where she's at her weakest moment, she's tells herself that she'll be alright.
Because she's not one to let her emotions control her. Now, she's just a little bit stronger than she was before.