Chapter 1

The rest of the walk to Ichiraku's was quiet. Iruka had a rather disgruntled look on his face while Naruto was acting surprisingly subdued, still not fully understanding why Iruka suddenly appeared so irritated. Hopefully he wouldn't have to report him to the old Hokage for talking about the Kyubi attack. That would put quite the damper on his birthday, among other things.

The ramen shop was empty with the exception of the owner when the two walked in. Naruto hadn't taken two steps toward the front counter when a chill ran up his spine.

"Something horrible has just happened here," he whispered, glancing back and forth across the shop.

"Ah, Naruto," Teuchi greeted, fighting back the wave of discomfort at the presence of the boy. "Happy birth-"
His words went unheard as Naruto leapt past him over the counter, finally spotting what he was searching for. He turned to the old man with a look of horror on his face.
"You spilled the ramen!"

Teuchi held his hands up defensively. "Now Naruto, it was just a little slip up-"

"How could you? That beautiful wonderful ramen will never know the pleasure of being enjoyed by anyone now!"

Teuchi frowned. "I'll have you know that my floors are clean enough to eat off of! If you want it, have it!"

"Fine!" he yelled, throwing himself to the floor, only to be stopped by both Teuchi and Iruka.

"I was just kidding, boy! I have more already made for you! Settle down!"

With a bit of struggling, Teuchi and Iruka managed to get Naruto into a seat, where Teuchi then placed a large steaming bowl of ramen in front of him. "There ya go, on the house."

His eyes lit up. Was it any wonder why he loved this place? Saying a quick prayer of memoriam for the fallen ramen, he dug into his own bowl with gusto. "Thanks, oji-san!" he managed to get out before the first wave of noodles entered his mouth.

Seconds later, Ayame returned with a mop in hand, which she instantly dropped upon setting eyes on Naruto. "Naruto-kun!" she greeted almost gleefully. "Happy birthday!"

Naruto looked up from his bowl, a stream of noodles hanging from his mouth. Temporarily unable to speak, he settled for waving cheerfully as the girl moved toward him.

Ayame propped herself against the table on her elbows, smiling warmly as Naruto shoveled his meal into his mouth at a speed that only an Akimichi could hope to match. "So, how does it feel to be another year older?" she asked, letting her finger trace small patterns on the countertop. "Feel any...different?"

Naruto gulped down the last of the noodles, looking thoughtful. "Well...I suppose I've probably grown a little taller if that's what you mean."

Ayame's smile drooped ever-so-slightly, but it returned before Naruto even had a chance to notice. "Well, once you're finished with that, why don't you come to the back so I can give you your present?"

A chill passed through Iruka's spine while Naruto looked taken aback. "You mean the free ramen wasn't my present?" Odd, that's what it had been every other year.

"That's your present from dad," she explained. "I've got something even better waiting for you."

Naruto actually scoffed. "Better than free ramen? No offense, Ayame-neechan, but there's no such thing."

The ramen girl's grin turned impish. "I think you'll change your mind when you see it." Without another thought, she grabbed the boy by his sleeve and pulled him out of his chair and around the counter.

"But I wasn't finished!"

"Going on break, daddy!" she stated before disappearing into the back room.

Teuchi repressed a sigh, turning back to the ingredients before him. "Don't be too long now, afternoon rush will be arriving soon," he called after them.

Iruka shot up in a panic, recognizing the familiar implications of what was about to happen. "Naruto, wait-!" he managed to get out before tripping over a seat in front of him.

"Let him go, Iruka," Teuchi told him as he struggled back to his feet.

"But-but-but he isn't ready!" Iruka stammered. "It's too early for him! He still doesn't know-!"

The chef held his hand up to silence him. "I know how you must feel, but you can't keep the boy protected like that anymore. He's of age now and you know it's gonna happen sooner or later." He sighed begrudgingly. "Better it be my...relatively innocent little girl than someone like Mitarashi or Yugao. You know how much those two like breaking in virgins."

Iruka's eyes glazed over. Of course he knew; one could never forget their first time. No matter how badly they may want too...

Feeling defeat set in, he sank back into his chair. Maybe this was for the best. At least a sweet girl like Ayame would be patient and understanding with Naruto's lack of experience, instead of tying him upside-down naked to a tree and demonstrating all '52 Obscure Uses of Snake-Style Ninjutsu' on him.


Naruto took in the medium-sized room he had just been led into, missing the giggle of delight that escaped Ayame as she removed the white kerchief from her head and shook her hair out. "I'll get your gift. No peeking, okay?"

Naruto turned away, grinning in anticipation. A gift better than free ramen: a paradox in his opinion. But if Ayame thought it was, then it would be exciting to see.

It was kind of strange, he thought while letting his eyes drift across the rest of the room. He'd been coming to Ichiraku for almost a decade now, but this was still the first time he'd ever been back here. Boxes of ingredients were stacked up to the ceiling against the wall in the back of the room, and the pungent smell of the many various spices was very noticeable in the small area, making his stomach grumble. Naruto wished Ayame could have waited until he'd had a second and third bowl before dragging him back here.

Hearing the rustling of cloth behind him, he made the guess that Ayame was still searching for his gift, and he went back to inspecting the room. Against the walls to his left and right were two small dressers and two futons spread across the floor.

"You and your dad sleep back here?" he asked without turning to look at her.

"Sometimes," he heard her answer, accompanied by an audible *pop*, like the sound of a lid being wrenched off of something. "If we finish up a long day or have to open up extra early, we usually find it easier to just stay the night here. And of course it's really convenient during the day when one of us needs to...You're not peeking, are you?"

"No ma'am," he replied, placing his hands over his eyes for extra emphasis. He tried not to appear impatient as he listened to her walk across the room where he had been staring before. His mind wandered: Better than ramen...better than ramen...

Suddenly a new smell attacked his senses. No wait...two new smells. One was unfamiliar to him, something that he couldn't place. Though whatever it was certainly wasn't unpleasant, and it was definitely making him curious. The other smell was more noticeable, and was much sweeter in contrast with the rest of the odors in the room.

Chocolate, his senses were telling him. The second smell was definitely chocolate. Then it hit him: Ayame must have bought him a birthday cake! It may not have been better than free ramen, but considering he'd never had one before in his life, it was still pretty close!

He was practically bouncing up and down when finally, he heard Ayame say, "Okay, you can look."

Grinning like a maniac, he spun on his heels-


-and his mind performed a temporary shutdown as he found himself staring at a completely nude Ayame, casually leaning back on her elbows against one of the futons.

Well, maybe not completely nude, though he didn't know if he could really consider chocolate sauce proper covering. It certainly wasn't doing much to hide any of the girl's chest or stomach no matter how much of it she appeared to have slathered on.

The pink ribbon tied in a bow around her hips was a nice touch, his short-circuited mind admitted before going into reboot.

Ayame smirked, mistaking the boy's drooling expression for one of uncontrollable lust. Slowly, teasingly, she twisted the end of the ribbon around her finger, giving it a small tug. "Well Naruto-kun, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come over here and unwrap me?"

And that's when Naruto's legs gave out.

With a look of surprise, Ayame slowly crawled off the futon toward the fallen boy, giving him a small nudge. "Naruto-kun?" she asked, receiving a small incoherent mumble for a response.

Well this was certainly a buzz kill, she thought with a huff. Hopefully he'd regain consciousness real quick; this chocolate sauce was a bitch to clean off if it set in too long.


Naruto slowly returned to consciousness less than a minute later, first to the enticing smell of spice, sweetness and… something else, then to the feeling of something weighing his body down. When he finally opened his eyes, the sight of a chocolate-covered Ayame straddling his waist was the first thing he saw.

For some unknown reason, he didn't immediately freak out over this. In fact, for a long time he didn't move a muscle, just stared up at the grinning girl. Outwardly, it seemed that he was merely enjoying the view, but in reality he really wasn't seeing anything. He was too busy being lost in worry.

If that chocolate drips on my outfit I'll never be able to get it clean.

More importantly, what was he supposed to do about this situation? The only foreseeable options were to scream for help, break out from under her and run for it, or faint again where everything was dark and safe.

He couldn't try to run because he might accidentally hurt Ayame. He couldn't scream for help because that would cause old man Ichiraku to come in, and if he saw the two of them in such a predicament he'd probably kill him. Or worse: Ban him for life from the shop!

So it was decided, fainting was the way to go. As his eyes began to roll back, Ayame took notice.
"Naruto," she warned. "Passing out isn't going to stop me from doing things to you this time."

That snapped him back from the darkness. "T-things?"


"...Er...good things or bad things?"


Naruto decided he would have a better chance remaining awake.

"Good boy," Ayame cooed as she leaned forward just a little, positioning her hands on either side of Naruto's face, which incidentally caused her arms to have an interesting effect on her breasts (which Naruto did NOT look at, no siree!). "Then what do you say we get started?"

Naruto gulped, trying his damnedest to keep his gaze on Ayame's face only, which he found was just about as difficult as paying attention in class. "Uh, c-can I just ask something real quick?"

"Only if you can talk with your mouth full," she told him as she leaned in for the kill-


-and found herself staring at a log. Looking around, she spotted Naruto huddled against the back corner.

She frowned. "Okay, Naruto, just what is the problem?"

"PROBLEM!" he practically shrieked, so worked up that he completely overlooked the fact that he had just performed his first successful Kawarimi. "What's YOUR problem? I mean, don't get me wrong, Ayame-neechan, I like you and everything, but don't you think you're moving a bit too fast? Aren't I supposed to…I don't know, buy you dinner or something first?"

Ayame stood up and placed her hands on her hips, oblivious to the fact that she was still naked and covered with chocolate. "What are you talking about? All I'm trying to do is help you celebrate your coming of age, and all this hard-to-get stuff of yours isn't accomplishing anything but giving me a lot of built-up frustration!"

Naruto didn't understand very much of that explanation. "What coming of age?"

That simple question brought a look of confusion to the ramen girl's face. "You're fourteen now, aren't you?"


"And you know what that means... don't you?"

"...That I'm not thirteen anymore?"

Fighting the urge to throw her arms up in exasperation, Ayame crossed the room and dropped to her knees in front of him, while he quickly diverted his attention elsewhere. "Naruto," she started calmly. "Hasn't anyone been teaching you this stuff? About the Kyubi and the pheromone and the...everything else that goes with it?"

Naruto could only shrug helplessly. "I...I don't know! Iruka-sensei started to tell me something about that on the way over here, but he said he'd tell me about it later."

Ayame drooped in disappointment. This was not how the day was supposed to go at all. But she had to look at it from Naruto's point of view. If no one had ever taken the time to teach him these things, then it would be a bad deal to try going any further with him now. Though, surely he'd started feeling the pheromone's effects by now. She sighed; she would have to do it herself before things got even more out of hand.

But really, she still needed at least a bit of release...

She looked down at herself and frowned. And it would be a shame to let all this chocolate go to waste. Without thinking, she began dragging her fingers through the dark liquid on her stomach.

Catching a slight movement from Ayame from the corner of his eye, Naruto turned ever-so-slightly to get a better view of what she was doing. His eyes nearly popped from their sockets as he watched the girl bring two chocolate-covered fingers to her mouth and slowly lick them clean. As she began repeating the process, his mind began clashing, with one side telling him that if he didn't do something to stop this really quick he was going to die of heart-failure or blood loss, and the other side telling him to shut the hell up and enjoy the show.

But that second side was one that Naruto hadn't heard from much in his life, making it a bit untrustworthy, while the first side brought up some very good points. So-


Ayame stopped her own indulgence, apparently realizing that Naruto was still in the room. A sly grin suddenly appeared on her face. It was his birthday, after all. It wouldn't be fair if he didn't even get a taste.

Naruto had just enough time to notice the blooming grin on her face, which instantly set off the internal warning signals. The next moment he felt a pair of hands grasp the back of his head and pull it forward.

If someone were to ask him about it later, Naruto would only have one response for them.

"Ayame-neechan sure knows good chocolate."


Iruka was becoming a nervous wreck. For the last ten minutes he'd been pacing across the room, wringing his hands furiously, and tapping his toes on the floor, all the while never taking his eyes off the door to the back room.

"What's going on in there?" he wondered aloud. "Shouldn't they be finished by now?" He moved closer to the door again, listening. "I can't hear anything back there, is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Teuchi looked up from cleaning the stoves, gave Iruka a confused look and pulled the plugs from his ears. "You say something?"

Ayame took that moment to let out a long blissful moan from the back.

"Never mind," a red-faced Iruka muttered as Teuchi fiercely shoved the earplugs back into place and began humming loudly.

Iruka fell back into his chair. This was it; Naruto was no longer a virgin. Even with his complete and utter lack of knowledge of what was going on inside and around him he still managed to get a girl on his first day as a legal adult. He sighed whimsically, realizing how much the brat had grown since he first started teaching him. He hoped this revelation wouldn't corrupt the poor kid too badly. Though on the bright side, at least now he wouldn't have to be on constant vigil for any 'Devirginizers' that might otherwise be stalking him. Not to say anything of any of the other daring women of the village who wanted to attempt to 'tame the demon' as they so eloquently put it.

Another minute went by before the two teens reentered the room. Ayame, with a look of untold amounts of mischief on her face, pulled a staggering Naruto out behind her, whose own face was frozen in an unblinking mask staring at some unseen object on the ceiling.

As the girl gently deposited the catatonic boy into a seat next to Iruka and sat herself in the seat on Naruto's other side, Teuchi removed his earplugs again and made his way over to join them. No one really knew what to say until Iruka found something to break the ice.

" did it go?"

The two kids blushed profusely while Teuchi took aim at Iruka's skull with a frying pan.

"It was a joke! Just a joke!" he stammered, narrowly avoiding the metal pan. Seeing the chef lower his weapon, he turned back to Naruto.

"Naruto," he said as the boy continued staring at nothing.

"Huh?" he slurred.

Iruka gestured to his own lower lip. "You've got some dark stuff here."

"Uh-huh," Naruto responded, not making any motion to wipe it away.

Iruka rolled his eyes and reached for a napkin, and stopped cold when Ayame spun Naruto's chair around and planted a deep kiss on him. Naruto's already stiff posture increased to the point of petrifaction at the sudden contact, Teuchi found something interesting to look at on the other side of the room, and as much as he felt he should, Iruka couldn't tear his gaze away. He gave a silent thanks that he'd already taken care of his own urges just a little while ago or he'd probably be in trouble right now.

The kiss broke and Naruto melted to the floor with a goofy grin plastered on his face while a satisfied Ayame sat back, licking the traces of chocolate and saliva from her own lips. When she finished, she turned her attention to Iruka.

"Why didn't anyone ever teach him about the Kyubi's pheromone?" she demanded.

Teuchi turned, face full of confusion while Iruka just looked guilty. "I...thought he already knew. At least the important stuff, anyway. But it turns out he was fed some false information a few years back and..." he shrugged. "Well I had intended to explain things to him after we left here, but that was before I knew that you were planning to..." His words trailed off again.

"Well I think you'd better do it now," she said. It sounded like a suggestion, but Iruka wasn't stupid enough to miss the authority behind it.

Five minutes, a few thumps to the top of the head and a bowl of ramen later, Naruto was back in an attentive state of mind.

"Now Naruto," Iruka started, trying to find the right way of phrasing things. "I know that you must be feeling a little confused about what just happened, and I'm going to do my best to explain everything to you and answer any questions you might have."

"Okay," Naruto said a bit nervously. He did want to find out why Ayame had acted the way she had, but at the same time didn't think he really wanted to know how Iruka would know about it.

Iruka leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "All right. It all started fourteen years ago, when the Kyubi first attacked our village..."


Fourteen Years Ago...

The massive battle was finally drawing to a conclusion. As hundreds of Konoha shinobi and civilians alike watched from afar, the Kyubi struggled for the continuation of its very existence by trying to break free of the Shinigami's grip.

And what an effort it was, the people begrudgingly admitted. The fox demon would run from one corner of the horizon to the other, bucking and shaking its body wildly, then dropping down and rolling back and forth over the trees of the forest as though it were trying to put out a fire on its body. But still the Death God held tightly to two of the beast's swirling tails, refusing to lose a prize of such magnitude.

And several hundred yards away, the Yondaime stood atop the giant head of Gamabunta, holding a small object hidden within a bundled up blanket, watching the display and looking quite amused. He may have been seconds away from death himself, but at least he was getting some entertainment before he went.

He looked down at the tiny object that he was holding, smiling sadly. He hoped this was really the right thing to do, not that there was really any other choice. But maybe...

His musings were interrupted as the Kyubi finally collapsed to the ground before Gamabunta, heaving as the Shinigami floated forward and unsheathed its dagger. The biju stared up at Minato in rage.

"You think you've won, human?" the beast growled, swiping futilely at him. "You can't get rid of me so easily!"

"Maybe not," Minato answered calmly. "But I can still keep the village and everyone I love safe from you for a little while longer."

The Kyubi snarled at his words, before a feral grin appeared on its face. "We'll see about that."

And as the Shinigami brought its dagger down, a fine, pinkish-clear mist erupted from the Kyubi's body, catching Minato, Gamabunta and the Death God full force. The suddenness of it actually caused the Shinigami to pause, but only for a moment before driving the blade into the Kyubi's flank. With a howl of pain, the Kyubi's body began to dissolve.

Recovering from his shock, Minato lifted the bundled object above his head and the still raging demon disappeared within it, an abstract black seal appearing to confirm it. Then, clutching the thing tightly to his chest, he looked back at the village, where the observing populous, having no idea what the strange mist that was now drifting toward them was, began running back into the village to find shelter.

He prayed that it wasn't a poison; otherwise the entire village would still be doomed. Whatever it was, it didn't have any smell to it, and it didn't seem to be bothering him even though he'd taken the blast of it at point-blank-

And then he needed sex. And he needed it right fucking now! Without another thought, he Hiraishin'ed back to the village. Gamabunta dispelled himself moments later, hoping that his beloved Gamatsuchi would be waiting for him at home. And the Shinigami, for the first time in over two dozen millennia, felt a twinge of physical need, even if it only lasted for a second. Writing it off as nothing, it took off in pursuit of the human mortal who was apparently trying to run out on their agreement.

It was probably a good thing that the mist had already fallen over the village by this point. It meant that everyone was already inside their own homes, either engrossed in various personal activities or tucked away in their beds with pillows pulled over their heads to help block out the noises of said activities taking place in the next room.

Had anyone still been outside, they would have witnessed the sight of the Death God dragging a naked, kicking and screaming Namikaze Minato out of the village as he begged the reaper for just five more minutes.


"And that's what happened," Iruka wrapped up. "The village hasn't been the same since."

Naruto stared at the older man like he'd grown a second head. "So...the Kyubi made the whole village obsessed with sex?"

"Yep," Ayame said with a nod.


The girl shrugged. "Probably its way of trying to torment us for the rest of our lives, I suppose."

"The shinobi tried everything they could think of to get rid of the pheromone," Teuchi contributed. "But they couldn't destroy it with fire or lightning, couldn't blow it away with wind, couldn't even dilute it with water. It just stayed in the village, soaking into everything and never vanishing. Still here now, in fact, you just can't see it anymore."

Naruto took a few moments to let that all sink in. "But if that's how it's been all this time, why haven't I ever heard about it?"

Iruka shook his head. "Well it's not exactly something that the people openly talk about, you know? It's not like there are gonna be people having sex out in the streets for you to see, right?"

"Actually-" Ayame started before her father stopped her with a shake of his head.

"In any case," Iruka continued. "That's the real story behind the Kyubi's attack. That was the real reason for Ino's behavior back in class, and pretty soon it'll be happening to all the others, as well. I'm sure it already has for some of them. That's because after a child reaches the age of puberty the pheromone starts to take its effect on them, sometimes immediately, other times it's a delayed process. But when it does happen, it increases their sex-drive drastically. And since it's nearly impossible to suppress the urges in any way other than through sexual release, the Hokage lowered the age of adulthood for Konoha villagers to fourteen, and it became perfectly legal for them to start having sex with other people."

Naruto's eyes widened. "So you're telling me that now that I'm fourteen I could have sex with anybody I want? Or that anyone who wanted to could have sex with me?"

"Right, assuming they're also of age. Of course, they also have to be willing to do it with you, though to most people it's considered very rude to deny someone seeking relief from their unrelenting urges."

Naruto scratched his head. "How come I haven't had any of these 'urges' yet? I've already gone through puberty and everything, right?"

The other three looked a bit uncomfortable at the question. They of course knew the real reason why it might not have happened yet, but it wasn't something they were at liberty to talk about.

"I'm sure it'll be happening eventually, Naruto," Teuchi told him. "Sometimes it just takes longer for some than others. Hell I've known kids to get their first urge as early as eleven years old and as late as sixteen. My advice is to enjoy it while it lasts, because an almost endless need for sex isn't quite as fun as it might sound."

That explanation seemed good enough for Naruto and everyone fell silent while he thought about everything he'd just been told. It was definitely hard to believe such a weird story, but after the events with Ino and Ayame already today, he figured they must be pretty accurate. Besides, this was Iruka-sensei, old man Ichiraku and Ayame-neechan telling him this. If he couldn't trust them then who could he trust?

The moment was broken when Ayame happened to notice the sun beginning to set in the distance, which gave her an ominous feeling. "I think you'd better get home, Naruto," she told him. "It's starting to get late."

"Already?" he asked, not realizing how much time had passed since he first got here.

Iruka didn't look nearly as disturbed as he had before. "I wouldn't worry too much, Ayame-san. Thanks to you, Naruto shouldn't be in any immediate danger anymore."

"Danger?" the blond repeated.

Ayame grew embarrassed. "Well actually, Naruto-kun and I didn' everything."

Iruka raised a speculative eyebrow. "What didn't you do?"

"...The important things," she answered regrettably.

Iruka turned pale. "Then he's still a-?" Ayame nodded. In a flash, Iruka was at the door, pulling Naruto behind him.

"What the hell, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto demanded, trying to pull his arm free from the teacher's iron grip.

"No time to explain! I have to get you home as quickly as possible!"

Naruto stared at the odd look on Iruka's face when a dreadful thought occurred to him. "You're not gonna try to relieve one of your own urges with me, are you? Because I definitely don't swing like that!"

"DON'T BE STUPID!" Iruka shouted, driving his fist into the boy's head. "Now come on, before it's too late!"

As the two men disappeared from the restaurant, Ayame sat back in her chair and sighed. She really wanted to be Naruto's first time, if for no other reason than to make sure it was something special for him. He deserved that much for all he'd gone through, she figured. Letting out another wistful sigh, she silently wondered if he'd be back soon enough for her to try again.

Then she grinned. Of course he'd be back soon. The boy had to eat sometime, didn't he?


"Can you at least tell me what it is you're trying to save me from, sensei?" Naruto shouted, still pulling with all his might to free himself from Iruka's grip.

The older man didn't stop, didn't slow down and didn't even bother turning around to address him. He only said one word.


"Anko?" Naruto asked.

"Anko," he repeated firmly.

"Who or what is Anko?"

"Anko is-" He cut himself off, stopping abruptly and inadvertently knocking Naruto on his butt.

Naruto shot up indignantly. "What's the-!"

Iruka slapped a hand over the boy's mouth, silencing him. As they stood, not moving or speaking, a low rustling sound was heard behind them. Both men felt the hairs on their neck stand up. Then they heard it again, much closer this time.

With no other warning, a long metal chain shot out from a group of bushes toward Naruto. The boy froze, but was saved when Iruka jumped in front of him and dropped a smoke bomb to the ground. As thick smoke covered the area, Naruto heard Iruka fall to the ground in a tangled heap.

"Iruka-sensei!" he yelled, coughing slightly.

"Run Naruto! Save yourself!"

Naruto tried seeing through the smoke, but found it useless. Nevertheless, he wasn't going to just leave Iruka here at the mercy of his assailant. "No way, I'll help you!"

"No, you fool! You'll never survive if she manages to catch you! She's too experienced for you right now! I'll be fine, just get out of here while I hold her off!"

Naruto hesitated. "But-"

"Just go, now! And remember, beware the woman with purple hair!"

Naruto waited only a second longer, then turned and ran. "I'll avenge you, Iruka-sensei! I promise I will!"

As the sound of Naruto's fading footsteps, Iruka smiled ruefully. "I'm sure you will Naruto."

As the smoke cleared, he was completely unsurprised by who he found standing over him, spinning a kunai on her finger and grinning in a way that promised lots of pleasure and even more pain.

"That wasn't nice, Iruka-chan," Mitarashi Anko purred, dropping down onto his chest and holding the flat side of the kunai against his cheek. "I really wanted that boy, you know? Now what am I going to do if Yugao-chan comes back and manages to snatch him up before me?"

Iruka was already sweating bullets. "H-have mercy, Anko-chan. Naruto's only learned about the pheromone and everything that goes with it today! He's still too naive about these things; he'd never survive against someone like you!"

Anko casually flipped the kunai over, drawing a very thin line of blood from his cheek. "Now Iruka-kun, you know that I almost never kill more than two people a month during my sessions, and that even when I do, they always die with a smile on their face." As she said it, she bent down and licked the dripping blood from Iruka's cut. "And don't you know how long I've wanted to bed our big, strong demon container?"

"You've mentioned it once or twice," Iruka mumbled. He was really going to hate himself for what he was about to do. "Listen Anko-chan. If you promise me that you'll leave Naruto alone for a while, at the very least until he finishes his training at the academy next month, then...I'll let you do whatever you want to me whenever you feel like it."

Anko's eyes gleamed at the proposal. "Really now?" Iruka may not have been a virgin anymore, but it had been a while since she last gave him a good working over.

Iruka flinched, dreading the hungry look he was receiving. He hoped to God that Naruto appreciated what he was doing for him. A month wasn't a lot of time to buy him, but maybe it would be enough. "Yes, really. You can even use all 52 of your Obscure Snake-Style techniques on me if you want."

Anko's brow furrowed in confusion, then smirked like the devil-woman that she was. "It really has been a long time since I last caught you, hasn't it Iruka-chan?" She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "There are 67 of them now."

And as she began dragging him into the night, Iruka could only wonder what he'd just gotten himself into.