- EDIT - rewriting the first few chapters because a long time reviewer of mine pointed out they pretty much suck. Will put a note up in the header as they are done. Basically I'm trying to smooth out writing crinkles and OOC characters, where ever they are.
Ok try follow me with this... when Naruto is a boy, I refer to him as a him/he/his. When Naruto is a girl, l refer to HER as her/she/hers. Or something like that. You'll get the idea as you read.
I own a couple of dubbed episodes of Naruto but not much else. This disclaimer covers all following chapters so don't report me or else.
"Ok, something has to be up for Naruto to actually be later than Kakashi-sensei."
"Maa, don't say that! I had a perfectly good reason because of..."
"Whatever. I just wish dobe would hurry the hell up. We are missing out on training."
Today, we find three of the members of team 7 awaiting the arrival of their fourth member with varying degrees of patience. Like usual, their sensei had turned up a good two and a half hours late. Strangely though, what was unusual was that a certain blond haired nuisance was running even later than that. While incredibly annoying and more of a handful than a day care centre on a sugar rush, the one thing that could be said about him was that he was never late... more or less. Sighing again, Sakura raised a hand to her brow and squinted into the distance.
"Hang on a second, I think I see him!"
A dust cloud was rapidly rising as a small figure was racing towards them. Skidding to a halt, the said figure revealed itself to be none other than their missing member. Before even managing to get a word in, Sakura near blew him off his feet as she shouted at him. If there was one thing anyone could say about the girl, was she had a good set of lungs.
"WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG? We have been standing here a good forty-five minutes longer than usual because of you! Sasuke-kun has been missing out on vital training!"
Satisfied that she had disciplined the boy, Sakura sent her crush an endearing look as she searched for approval. She was quickly disappointed to realise he didn't even look at her.
Clearing an ear, Naruto sent Sakura his wounded puppy look, but that was quickly replaced with a scowl and middle finger raised proud after Sasuke gave the boy a menacing look. It was then the group noticed the roll of ninja wire slung over his shoulder.
"Naruto-kun, what, pray tell, have you got all that ninja wire for?"
The boy frowned slightly and motioned for his teacher to lean in closer. Cupping a hand around his mouth, he began whispering into the older man's ear.
"Well, it's kinda hard to explain... you see, I have a small problem with my Orike no Jutsu..."
As if on cue, Naruto instantly was shrouded in a white smoke cloud as a bamph sounded out. Kakashi coughed and waved his hand to clear his mouth.
"Naruto-kun what are you play... oh my..."
The man's only visible eye widened significantly as he took in the sight before him. Where Naruto once stood was now a very leggy, very curvy and very sexy blond girl with a frustrated look on her face, trying with some difficulty to hold her pants up.
Looking down, Kakashi then noticed her sizeable cleavage poking out of the now too tight top she was wearing. In that moment, Kakashi was never more thankful for the mask he always wore or else the girl before him would have been introduced to a blood bath, courtesy of one perverted Jounin's nose.
Naruto made an upset noise and started whining, "Maaaan why does this have to happen now?"
Not giving the girl a chance to think or even look up, Sakura charged over, fist raised and seeing red at Naruto's apparent perversion. She unleashed a righteous uppercut not too far short the power of an exploding tag right into the unsuspecting chin of the perturbed blond and sent the poor child flying over the trees and into the town. She held the pose for a few seconds, panting frantically from the exertion. It wasn't until an incredibly girly scream rang out that the pink headed girl blinked and lowered her hand.
Turning, she saw her sensei holding up a very familiar pair of bright orange pants.
She then heard Sasuke behind them let out a giant snort. Considering this was Sasuke, he well could have been rolling around on the ground in fits of laughter. Sakura couldn't work out what it was that was so funny, but it was nice to see some emotion on her normally stony heartache.
More girly screams echoed out in the distance and Sakura looked up questioningly at Kakashi, who was still mesmerised by the pants he was holding. Having had enough, Sakura grabbed them from him and clicked her fingers in front of her teachers face.
"Oi! Wake up! Just what is so entertaining?"
Kakashi snapped out of it and looked at the girl with a raised eyebrow.
"You honestly don't know?"
Sakura could swear she felt Sasuke roll his eyes at her.
Kakashi sighed and pointed at the pants.
"Ok. Those are clearly Naruto's pants. And Naruto is now running through the streets of Konoha. Make sense?"
Sakura's stomach sunk. "But, why are they here? Any moron knows to strap their pants of securely for the day!"
She heard an exasperated sigh from the powerful boy behind her. Turning to him, she wilted under the glare. She then cringed slightly when Sasuke quietly muttered, "So much for the grades smartest girl."
Eyes now at the ground, Kakashi started explaining it in more detail to her.
"Yes, even Naruto would remember something like that but in his current form, didn't you notice his pants being a great deal looser than usual? You just punched him into the main street of Konoha, right in peak hour, in his female form, with no pants on."
Sakura's eyes widened and she made a small eeping noise before dropping the pants. Now she could understand why Sasuke had found it so hilarious. Hearing a rustle, the group turned to look towards a bush by their side. Slipping through came Naruto, a healthy blush across her cheeks and equally healthy curses being muttered about the majority of the male population. After freeing herself from the last of the snags, Naruto looked up at Sasuke. The smallest of smirks was on his face, no doubt enjoying every second of Naruto's pain. Instantly assuming the arrogant boy had her clothes, Naruto stormed up and poked him several times in the chest.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PANTS?"
Taking a step back, Sasuke looked down in distaste at the point the girl had touched him. "Please restrain yourself from touching me. I do not wish to catch whatever diseases you currently have."
Watching the argument, Sakura noticed Naruto holding down her jacket top over the front of her...*ahem* more private anatomical parts. Unable to get a clear view, for some reason Sakura couldn't seem to make out any fabric under the jacket. "Naruto... do you have underwear on?"
Hearing a thump, Sakura's question was indirectly answered as Kakashi hit the ground. It seemed the man had just copped an eyeful of Naruto's unclothed rump and had promptly passed out. It didn't really help things that he had his sharingan out, the tomoe's spinning furiously as the dōjutsu burned the image into the mind of the Jounin forever.
Growling, the blond refocused her anger as she walked over to the downed man and began kicking him in the ribs.
"Dobe, please stop kicking Kakashi-sensei. No matter how much you love running around naked, we have things to do. Do that kind of thing in your spare time."
Giving her sensei a final solid boot, Naruto whipped around and glared at her team mate.
"Damnit Sasuke it's NOT FUNNY! I nearly got raped out there! Now where the hell are my pants?"
Sasuke shrugged dismissively and turned away from her. "What do I look like, your nanny? Why would I know where they are?"
Naruto began grinding her teeth together in fury as she desperately tried to glare holes into and through her mocking rival's back. Taking a step forward to extract revenge on Sasuke, she felt a tug on her sleeve and saw Sakura holding up her pants, the girl's other hand covering her eyes in distain.
"Here are your pants. Now for the love of all things good and holy in this world PUT THEM BACK ON!"
About an hour later, Team 7 now found themselves standing in front of the Hokage's desk. Tsunade had a raised eyebrow as she surveyed the unusual team. Kakashi had a happy, faraway look in his eye, Sakura was glowering at Naruto and Naruto (still in his female form) had her arms crossed under her chest and was pouting, pants held up by what looked like a roll of ninja wire. To top it all off, the last Uchiha was doing what he did best, except he kept glancing at his team mate and smirking occasionally. Not a good sign. Rubbing her temple, Tsunade could tell this was going to be a long day.
"Ok. Would someone please explain what is happening here and why Naruto is a girl?"
Naruto huffed unhappily as Kakashi stepped forward, running somewhat on auto pilot. "Hokage-sama, it seems that Naruto-kun has lost control over his Orike no Jutsu somehow and is swapping between his male and female self."
Tsunade raised both eyebrows when she heard that. "Really? How long has this been happening?"
Naruto looked over miserably, pout still firmly in place. "I duno, sometime last night I think. I went to bed normal but when I woke up I was a girl! Do you have any idea how freaky it is to wake up to your pork sword gone?"
Sasuke blanched and glared at Naruto. "What have I told you about details dobe? Please, you're nasty enough without knowing what goes on in your pants."
Naruto flinched and the gender troubled teen started leaking killer intent towards the pale boy. Before a fight could break out, Sakura grabbed Naruto's head and turned it back to face Tsunade. Grating her teeth, Naruto continued.
"So... yeah anyway I then found out I couldn't find any pants that fit me so I had to make up this belt to hold my pants up. The only problem with that though was that when I turned back into a boy, it..."
At that exact moment, Naruto's haywire jutsu decided to undo itself and display exactly what happened when he changed back.
Naruto was now a boy again and gasping on the ground, the ninja wire constricting his gut and airways significantly as the boy struggled to breath. He flapped around manically for a few seconds before managing to release the knot holding his pants tight. The resulting intake of oxygen made everyones ears pop from the pressure drop.
"GAH! I thought I was gona die!"
"Well that would have saved someone the trouble."
Instantly on his feet, Naruto rushed Sasuke. The next thing that the raven haired boy knew was the sensation of flight as Naruto unceremoniously tossed the boy out of the Hokage's tower via the window. There was a pop though and Naruto could make out Tsunade's chair flying away through the air. Turning, he glared at the conceited Uchiha.
Sakura however hadn't noticed the Kawarimi and was now positively seething that the dead last had done something so barbaric to her Sasuke-kun! Growling in rage, she grabbed the disgruntled boy and quickly threw him out the window as well. Noticing a pop in the distance, she whirled around to see Naruto pouting.
"Why'd you have to go do that Sakura-chan? I nearly didn't get time to substitute!"
Growling again, she made to march over and get the real one but her shoulder was caught by a scarily firm grip. Looking up, she saw the Hokage looking down at her, daring her to try it again. Meeping timidly, Sakura jumped back into place and fell silent.
"Good move brat. Had you tried that stunt again I can promise you that you would have been flying across the city via my foot."
Looking back at her main problem, she nodded at Naruto. "Right. I can see your problem now. Can you tell me anything about what happens when you change? Like if it feels different in any way?"
Naruto's eyes thinned to slits as he cupped his chin and struggled to remember. "Well... I duno it feels pretty much the same as usual, except for the fact that I can't dispel it. Oh wait, actually I do feel..."
Trailing off, he looked over at Sakura. Moving up to Tsunade, he whispered quietly in her ear, "I actually feel that old bag of a fox's power spike a little when I change. I have no idea what that means but."
Leaning back, the older lady sighed in confusion. Had that damn fox suddenly developed a warped sense of humour or something? Furthermore, how was it even able to influence Naruto's abilities? Shouldn't the seal be inhibiting that? Sighing, she shook her head.
"Ok. As of now Team 7 is on leave until we work out what is exactly going on with Naruto. Kakashi, you can train Sakura and Sauske like normal but Naruto isn't allowed."
An undignified "WHAT?" sounded out from said boy but Tsunade ignored him. "We can't have you using any chakra in the state you're in. So until we work out what is wrong, no chakra manipulation. Got that?"
Naruto instantly turned on his most whiney voice and raced up to Tsunade. "But Baa-chan that's not fair!"
Knocking him flat to the floor, Tsunade's eye twitched as she stood over him. "NO! No more training until Jiraiya gets back! That will be about three days so just go home and sleep or something until then."
Naruto muttered something into the ground that sounded suspiciously like a swear word and quickly rolled out of reach of the Hokage.
AN – I just got this random thought that hit me out of nowhere and wouldn't leave me alone so I thought I'd follow up on it. It will probably end up being a few chapters long so there's more to come.
Hope the new read chapters are a little more entertaining! Remember to let me know too if you spot anything amiss.