Author's Notes: Season 6 Sam has taken a trip back to when the brother's worst fear was Sam's new powers. Sam wants to warn Dean, but it won't change anything and he's still so jumbled he can hardly get the words out anyway.
I'm nostalgic for brotherly love like in the first 2 seasons. Though I hope we get some soon as that wall starts to crumble, cause you know it will.
Summary: Things are weird enough and now Dean just wants to know what the hell is wrong with Sammy. Season 6 spoilers, but with events in Season 1 and 2.
Again Through Eyes I Saw in Tears
Sam stood eerily still all of a sudden over his half-packed duffel. Dean watched him warily. He hated stuff like this, but…
"You okay, Sammy?"
He was expecting a sharp look or a bitchy comeback about how that was not his name. Instead, he noticed a fine tremor in Sam's hands. He shook his head back and forth slowly.
"It's gonna go bad, Dean."
A chill ran through Dean for reasons he couldn't identify, but he ignored it. Sam's voice…It sounded stupid since he'd raised this kid, but Sam's voice sounded older, ancient. Like he'd seen or been through too much and couldn't come back from it.
Dean knew this whole thing with Sam's new..powers, abilities, whatever, had unnerved the kid. Especially this last thing with Max, but he had no idea he was this bad off about it. Damn that over-analytical, massive brain of his. He just couldn't let stuff go.
Well, time to man up, put aside his own fears, and console his baby brother.
Dean finished up his own duffel and smirked confidently at Sam.
"Look, long as I'm around-"
"Nothing bad is gonna happen to you," both voices echoed at the same time and the chill turned to solid ice.
It was a real effort of self-control for Dean not to drop the duffel from his suddenly numb fingers. Swallowing thickly, he quickly composed himself and threw another smirk Sam's way, even though his brother hadn't moved.
"Alright, I get it." He said in mocked exasperation. "I'm getting predictable or something. S'cuse me for trying to be-"
All at once, Sam spun on him and for a moment, Dean was filled with the irrational thought that this couldn't be his brother. Those weren't Sammy's eyes.
Sam was intense, wired in his desperation to get Dean to understand.
"It's all gonna go bad."
Dean hoped his voice was level when he spoke.
"Y-You're worried about these freaky powers, right? Dude, you're fine. It's-"
A harsh, uncontrolled laugh erupted from Sam and Dean flinched. Now Sam was the one smiling at Dean. But it wasn't Sam's laugh, his smile. Too forced, too wide.
"Wish it was…I remember that. When that was what we were afraid of. None of the…" Sam waved his hand distractedly in a sweeping motion. "Angels or vessels or L-Lucifer."
Whatever happy bubble of denial Dean had built around this little breakdown evaporated at the words. True and deep worry about his brother's state of mind settled in. He was talking about angels and the devil. Isn't that like, the most definitive sign that someone's lost it?
As quickly as it'd come, Dean threw the idea away, locking it up so that it could never enter his mind again. Dean made to reach out for Sam, but the other was already moving.
Sam launched himself at Dean, hands curled tightly in his older sibling's jacket. His eyes were watering and he was close to sobbing.
"No destiny, Dean." His little brother was pleading for understanding, but so was he. What the hell was happening to his little brother? Sam trailed off. "I remember this. I remember…"
Sam's grip slacked a bit and big brother mode immediately kicked in. Figure out what's wrong, take care of Sammy. Do whatever it takes, but protect Sammy.
"Okay, come on, come on." Still in a daze, Dean managed to push Sam back until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Placing one hand on his shoulder and another around the back of his neck, Dean spoke clearly. "Nothing's gonna- Will you stop that?" Dean snapped as Sam matched his words again perfectly.
Minutes passed as Dean coached and cajoled and outright begged Sam to snap out of it.
Finally, drained and feeling on the verge of tears himself, Dean crawled on the bed behind Sam. He fit Sam back against him like when they were younger and wrapped his arms around his unresponsive brother.
He murmured nonsense and reassurances as Sam alternated between unnerving silence and a heartbreaking keening sound. He felt for a fever and brushed his fingers through Sam's hair.
"I'll fix it, Sam." He made sure nothing but conviction shone in his words. "I'm your big brother, right? I can do anything."
Sam bit his lip, more tears on his face. He laid his head back against Dean's shoulder as his brother just kept holding him, protecting him, and telling him how he was gonna make everything right again.
It'd been so long…
Sam let himself lean back into Dean's hold and closed his eyes, cataloging every soft touch and reassuring, loving word. His voice was scratchy and soft, thin and threadbare.
"I remember this too."