Hi guys... just a simple fic... a birthday gift for myself...
I am a late bloomer (Gosh, I hate myself for this)...
I just woke up one day and heard Taylor Swift's song on the radio...
(I mean... DUUHH! I heard this song like, a gazillion times now...)
I instantly fell in love with the lyrics... it felt so desperate and I loved it!
I immediately saw Sasuke and Itachi... the rest is history!
So here is the result of my immediate inspiration...
Happy Birthday to me!
You Belong With Me
Sasuke Uchiha : Hopeless and Desperate
"Yeah... we'll talk about this., I will explain.. I'll see you in 30 minutes..." Itachi said over the phone as he buckled his belt. He looked at me and mumbled "I'm going out..." and then left. He was off again... it was Tuesday night and it was again a night out for him. It has always been this way... since we moved out and lived in a rented apartment near school. Our parents... well... they are dead. I miss them, though... they died in an accident when I was young. Itachi, my elder brother and I lived with our uncle Madara for a couple of years. We stayed under his care until Itachi reached 18. By that time, he already became my legal guardian.
By the way, my name is Sasuke... Sasuke Uchiha... I have been on my own since Itachi started making dating a habit. He never seemed to notice me anymore. Well, I can't blame him... He was so popular at school. He had so many flings... Everybody wanted his attention... his time... The only thing I can proudly say is that he is my brother... that's the only thing I hold ownership on. Well... you might say I am whining... true, in a sense... I miss my aniki... I miss the times he would comfort me when I am sick or upset... the times when he would make my wounds feel better... I just miss him so badly though he was always with me, physically.
I think I am going crazy. Hey, can you keep a secret for me? I just have no one to talk to... You see... I am confused... I mean, this feelings started when I was 12... and that was like 4 years ago. It just happened... I just woke up one day realizing that I was in love with my brother... romantically speaking. I am not gay... I have my share of knowledge on guy-girl stuff and I know I am straight. It might be described as Narcissism or GSA, who knows? Many would comment how similar my looks were with Itachi. I know that... I am not blind... I am not dumb either, I know what I feel. Why does it have to be him? My own flesh and blood?
What? Oh, you want to know what Itachi looks like? Well... let's see... how can I describe him so you can visualize him the way I do... Well Itachi stands more or less 6 feet tall... he is 19... he has long hair, nearly reaching his waist. He usually keeps it in a loose ponytail... his skin is pale ivory... somewhat like creamy alabaster. He isn't thin... he isn't muscular either... I would call his profile, lean and fit. His face... well, he is breathtakingly lovely... Sorry I said that, but I really have to use that word. It's one of the few words that I can think of that is close enough to describe him.
His eyes... I wanna stare at those black depths forever. I think they are brother's best asset. They are so dark... so mysterious... and his lips... Heavens! What I would give to taste those lips. I wonder how it would feel to kiss him... I don't usually daydream... but Itachi made me do that and what I am now... hopeless and desperate. I really thought this would go away... that I was just at the state of teenage confusion... that I was having emotional instability. But heck, the feelings I have are burning even more... it's growing deeper... dangerously way off-hand...
Usually when Itachi comes home late at night, he would just flop his exhausted body unto his bed and sleep wordlessly. He would usually smell liquor and strong traces of extremely sweet-smelling perfume. He would usually come home with lipstick stains and a hickey or two. How it tortures me, day by day. Seeing my beloved being touched by another. Little did he know that I spend hours each night staring at him... controlling myself from going near him and hold him... run my fingers through his hair... Holding back the ultimate need to embrace him and whisper to his ear 'Hey, are you aware that I love you, nii-san?'.
Kami knows how badly I want my brother... The agony is too much... sometimes, I just want to give up. I ordered myself to forget him... but I just can't seem to. I love him too much now... he is already embedded in my sanity... in my soul... in my heart. Yeah, laugh... I don't care... I've read somewhere that once in your lifetime, you will make a complete fool out of yourself over love. I think this is that time for me. I am planning to move out of this apartment that I share with Itachi soon. I need to forget him and this feeling... it's way too complicated... far beyond anyone's comprehension.
What would he do if I confess to him? What do you think? Will he freak out? Will he hit me? Will he despise me and feel disgusted? So many questions that I won't even dare myself to find out. I think I can live with this misery. I feel tired... I can't go on like this... I need to to get a life of my own, not wallow over my sorrow and pride forever. Curse this heart of mine... curse my life... I wish it wasn't this complicated... Loving someone in silence can be so frustrating. Sometimes I would like to scream out loud and release everything. Kami, I think I am going crazy!
So here I am listening to some punk rock songs over my i Pod... trying to avoid my love songs selection... hoping the noise will take Itachi off my mind... even for a couple of seconds. I am lying alone in our room... I am on my bed right now... staring on the ceiling. I am wondering why can't I take him off my system. I have decided to leave this apartment by the end of the month... I will be graduating high school soon... I can go to another city and go to college there. I can work part-time to cope up with my needs. I need to go away... I need to let go of him... my first and last love...
That's what I needed to do. If I stay here, it's same as suicide. I don't know how I would react if Itachi would start bringing his women home. Fuck! Maybe I would kill that woman or something... Ha-ha-ha... Stupid... I really am ridiculously stupid. I need to rest now... I am expecting a migraine... maybe I'll talk to you soon... I don't want to witness Itachi coming home tonight from his escapades... I need to think of my poor abused heart sometimes. I need a break... Haaaahhh! Kami! Let me survive this wretched feeling. Don't let me die because of this heartache!
I am so emotional... I hope you will like my work... reviews for my birthday?