Story © Phantom Misfit
Megamind © Dreamworks
Roxanne wondered, with all his genius, if Megamind really knew anything of the modern world.
Sure, he was a genius in all other ways. He built his own evil inventions (well, not so evil anymore), could answer intense mathematical equations at the drop of a hat, and could take apart an army tank piece-by-piece and rebuild it into a rocket. Yet before disguising himself as Bernard, he'd never had a phone. He wasn't sure what 'video games' were and scoffed at the simplicity of them when he did. But the biggest shocker to Roxanne was that before he met her, he'd never known how to text or what a text was.
Yes, Megamind was book smart. But when it came to street smarts, he was lost.
She wondered how someone, in this day and age, could honestly not know what a text was. Whenever she walked down the street or visited a high school for an award story, people were texting or playing games on their phones. It boggled her mind that Megamind was so ignorant of that when he knew parts of a computer even the most intellectual computer geek didn't know.
It wasn't like it bothered her, it actually greatly amused her. Like now, for instance, when she was texting him about their date that night. He didn't understand ANY texting lingo, so he requested she text with words instead of 'brb' or 'rofl'. What amused her even more was while he texted with words as well, he completely abused 'lol'. It was like his pronunciation with words. He always answered the phone with 'Ollo' instead of 'hello', but he could say the word 'repugnant' without hesitation. It was totally random and he was un-teachable, but it amused her to no end.
'Can't wait for tonight' she typed into her phone, dodging a holiday shopper on the street. 'I might be a few minutes late, I'm going shopping for a new dress and a haircut'
She waited a moment for his reply and smiled when her phone beeped. She flipped it open and glanced at the text, grinning as she read it. 'me either. and why? you're already too beautiful for words LOL'
She rolled her eyes and grinned at the text lingo that made no sense. 'haha thanks :-)'
He must have decided she was done texting because he didn't reply, but that was okay. Her face stung from the cold the wind whistled by her, carrying snowflakes. Finally getting to her destination, she gripped a large handle and tugged. The warmth of the shop melted the snow from her eyebrows as she ducked inside and shut the door hurriedly.
A saleswoman came over to help her and she forgot about Megamind's quirks as she shopped for a beautiful dress for that night.
Later, Roxanne glanced at the clock worriedly as Alice, her hairdresser, trimmed her almost-shoulder-length tresses, knowning she was going to be late. A beep from her pocket alerted her to a new text. She dug her phone out of her pocket and flipped it open, seeing a message from Megamind. 'Where are you?'
'At the hairdressers.' She replied. 'Sorry, I'm running late. I'll be there soon.'
'Okay, just be careful out there. The snow is coming down hard. LOL.'
She snorted at the strange message and then decided, since Alice wasn't the most talkative hairdresser, that she would try to figure out if there was ANY rhyme or reason to Megamind's LOL addiction. Going through old texts she hadn't deleted, her eyebrow quirked. She and he often texted back and forth, and it wasn't until the last text in their ongoing conversation that he typed LOL. She wondered why, but then it flew out of her head as Alice exclaimed, "And…done! How do you like it?" Roxanne looked in the mirror and nodded approvingly, giving a smile to the woman. "It looks great. Thanks."
She hurried to pay for the woman's services and then braved mother nature to force her way to her care. Megamind was right, it was like a blizzard out there. After driving home, (which was close to the hairdressers) and then changing into her dress, she made her way to the restaurant where her alien boyfriend was waiting for her. Luckily, she was only about ten minutes late, and his smile was warm as he held out a chair for her. His normally bright green eyes went dark as he appraised her. "You look beautiful."
Her heart jumped and she smiled, letting her eyes roam over him as well. "Thanks. You look pretty good yourself."
He let out a laugh and then the waitress came to take their orders. After ordering they talked for a while until a beep came from Megamind's pocket. "Oops, sorry." He apologized, exasperated at the interruption. It was Minion, questioning him about a new plan for the city's highway they were working on. Megamind just rolled his eyes and set his phone to silent, sliding it back into his pocket. "Just Minion again." He explained. She smiled and nodded.
"Actually, that reminds me." Roxanne replied, her eyes intent on him. "I wanted to ask you a question about your texts."
"My…texts?" He asked, confused.
"Yes." She nodded. "I wanted to know why you put LOL after your ending messages."
He blinked. "Isn't it obvious?"
"Not really," She grinned, "especially after a text you sent that said you couldn't make it to dinner with my parents on account of receiving third degree burns from The Scorcher. It didn't seem like LOL was the appropriate thing to type after that."
He still seemed confused. "Why wouldn't it be?"
She chuckled, suddenly realizing what the problem might be. "Do you even know what LOL stands for?" She asked, extremely amused. He blinked again and his normal, confident expression returned. "Of course."
"Then what does it mean?" She countered.
He grinned bashfully and his cheeks reddened – well, became more purple. "It means lots of love."
Roxanne blinked. Blinked again. Her face was blank, devoid of all expression, and he fidgeted. "…Doesn't it?"
Suddenly, a huge grin overcame her and she launched over, locking him in a kiss. He sat stock-still in shock for a moment and then relaxed, returning the kiss. When she leaned back he grinned goofily. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked overjoyed. "You love me?" She remembered he'd sent that even when he'd been Bernard and she couldn't stop smiling at the thought.
His brows furrowed. "Of course. Why else would I add LOL to my texts?"
She shook her head and grinned, pulling him into another kiss. "Silly alien."