A strange feeling overtook me. I could not quite place my finger on its nature; however, I knew for certain that it was not something that I should be feeling. Perhaps one could interpret it as joy, but in that case it would more resemble bliss. Then again, such a short word as "bliss" was not able to grasp the whole of said emotion that was making my heart beat at an alarming rate. Needless to say, it was becoming a bother to have to put up with this unknowingness. I turned to look out the window, taking notice of the wondrous scenery: large, yet not excessively so, flakes of snow plummeted from the sky, accumulating in mass as they reached the ground.
It was a magnificent sight indeed. The sky was of a dull gray shade, more white than gray in fact. The trees' attempts to shake off the weighing snow were nothing but vain. Strangely enough, despite being late December, some trees withstood the comings of slumber that the cold chill brought in its wake; leaves still hung on the otherwise deserted branches. Though, soon enough, those too would fade away as the squirrels danced around the massive plants, snatching the leaves, using them for further insulation of their nests.
Movement down below caught my eye, a small child was playing in the snow. The abundance of the substance was more than easily discernable; trucks passed more often than not in futile attempts to clear the roads. Sometimes I wondered if it was only a pretext in order for them to be allowed to box us in our own houses. To discourage us further from wanting to leave the ever so warm ambience our houses had. I quickly shook my head in order to chase away such a thought; it was needless paranoia, and nothing more.
Suddenly, revelation took place within the very depths of my mind, and it shook me such as a tremor would the earth; nostalgia. I recalled, oh, how the beautiful endless plains of white before me reflected the desert. Save for the cold, the trees, and the few extras houses, it was the spitting image of my homeland; however, my mood darkened immediately at the reminiscence. It was not the land itself that brought this said darkening, but more the people that I had grown accustomed to call my family, my friends, my neighbours, my ipeople/i.
I sighed heavily just as the record player skipped, playing now a tune that made my heart flutter, chasing away whatever had been clouding that iecstasy/i-that is as close as I can get to word it for you- that had captured my soul. It was a slow song, one would call it a classic, while others a bore. I, however, felt it was music. The jazz beat was delightfully light, and rumbled in my chest, yes, it was that profound to me. Shortly after, a beautiful voice ensued, a deep- like a growl- voice resounded in my empty apartment.
Baby I've been here before,
I know this room; I've walked this floor,
I used to live alone before I knew ya.
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
But listen, love is not a victory march,
It's a cold and it's an ever broken Hallelujah.
Perhaps you roll your eyes now at my choice in music, but it matters not. To me, this is true music. You can ihear/i the soul within the sounds. I can hardly even begin to express my feelings now; my heart has swollen so much inside my chest I fear for my life. It is a feeling of such serenity that I could only ihope/i to end my life with. I closed my eyes, the soft melody making them feel much heavier than they usually do, but even so, I knew that I would not sleep. It did not, nevertheless, prevent me from letting me dream. It was a pleasant dream. In it were my friends. Not those that I had felt I had back in the desert, no. I speak of the friends that I have made ever since I moved here, to this contrast.
There was a certain blonde. We were simply sitting on a bench, in a park, watching children play, and tease each other. Their parents would simply watch, a gentle smile placated on their faces, their eyes would show the envy they had for their offspring, as they too, such as I now, would reflect on the past. I felt a small smile, oh so rare, tug at the corners of my mouth at the thought of those children that were familiar to me, but not at the same time. Obviously my companion noticed my expression, a wide grin displayed on his visage as he looked at me with nothing short of love in those ocean blue eyes of his.
At this point, I was smiling, reclined in my seat of my apartment. The vision behind my eyelids once again shifted to those merry children. A younger version of my blonde friend was pestering a boy with contrast dark, raven blue hair. He, the child with the dark hair, seemed annoyed at first glance, but a spark within those equally dark orbs of his showed otherwise. My thoughts soured momentarily as I remembered that which became of him, but I cast it aside as I felt the need to cling to the fullness that my memories brought.
I felt my lips part as the song's chorus began, making me feel obliged to sing along: "Hallelujah." I chanted the word in a trance almost. Even though it was but a word amongst many, it seemed to have such an impact on me, it was nothing short of breathtaking. Slowly, despite myself, I was singing the whole tune whilst rocking my chair back and forth. In my dream, I was still looking at the blonde child, but this time, he was with a redhead. The little child was sad, I could tell, he felt lonely. I needed not in fact see his expression; or him at all for that matter, as I simply knew what he was feeling, just as my blonde friend did. My heart ached at the memory of how dreadfully alone I was when I was younger, how sorrow had been all that I knew, until I had met him.
I jumped in my seat almost at the response, my eyes opening quickly. Just as I was about to turn around to be sure I was not imagining things, a pair of arms snuck around my neck and rested on my chest. I looked up, my look sure to be priceless as I could see how big his grin became when I saw him truly there, and how he was not a figment of my imagination.
Dumbfounded, my mouth hung open slightly, and I was only able to mutter again: "Naruto..."
His grin got even bigger as his eyes closed from just how much it had. He stood there, facing me; neither of us said anything for a while, but it was not an awkward silence between us. I untangled myself from his arms without having to try too hard, and sprang from chair, hugging my boyfriend tightly. He hugged back tightly, as I am sure he could feel the tension in me from fighting the tears that threatened to spill. We stayed as such for a little while, enough for me to calm down a little, but what little resolve I had mustered was shattered as soon as I pulled away to look into his eyes. Just as mine were, there was a thin cloud of tears there. So as not to burst into a fit of sobs, we kissed. For the first time in who knows how long, I finally got to kiss my boyfriend again.
It was long, and passionate, and for once, not one of lust. It was a kiss that could not be expressed in words. It was of a deeper meaning than a simple "I love you" or "I missed you", it was so much more. We broke for air and hugged each other more tightly than before. I buried my face in his shoulder, stifling the first comings of sobs. He gently rubbed my back, and held my head in place as I started to cry on his shoulder.
"Oh my God, Naruto..." I whispered coarsely into his shoulder, "I missed you so much."
"I know... I know..." Those seemed to be the only words he could muster as his voice trembled from the strain of holding back his own tears. I am not certain how long we stood there, but I know for a fact that the music had not yet stopped as I breathed into his ear in rhythm with the song: "Hallelujah."
Finally, at that word, he let his feelings flow freely, as did mine. He cried on my shoulder, singing along with me, interjecting at times: "I'm home baby, I'm home." If before I had been ecstatic at my memories, now, I was drowning in a pool of rapture. We would only pull away from each other slightly to plant a kiss on the other.
I did my best, it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I learned to touch.
I've told the truth, I didn't come all this way to fool ya,
Yeah, and even though,
It all went wrong,
I'll stand right here before the Lord of Song,
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.
The song ended, but we still held each other, breathing sweet nothings to each other. Our sniffles filled the otherwise dead apartment. I closed my eyes as slowly I felt Naruto begin to rock me, as he always did when I was feeling under the weather. I sighed contently as I rested in his arms, all the tension in my body now gone. When we finally pulled away from one another, we replaced the hug with another languid kiss. I moaned softly into it, my arms sneaking behind his neck as I searched to eternalise it. We broke it only to moan each others' names. He bit my lip ever so softly, as if he was begging me for more. I obliged.
His tongue caressed my own, making me moan despite myself. His hands rubbed my sides lovingly, and I could feel, for the first time ever since we decided to go out together, that we were sharing our intimacy for something more than sex. Yes, this was so much more than that, it surpassed even wanted to make love to one another. It was a feeling so great, that it made me quiver. He broke the exchange, hugging me one last time and whispered in my ear: "I love you, Gaara, and you have no idea how much I missed you."
My heart fluttered for the billionth time that day; however, there was nothing that could have prepared me to what was coming next. He let me go. At first, fear enveloped me, his gaze was hard, and serious, but then, my eyes widened in surprised as he knelt down on one knee in front of me, fishing out of his pocket a small case.
"Gaara, will you marry me?"
The words shook me down to my very core, and when I noticed that he was dead serious, and had a very eager look in his eyes, as determined as ever, I brought my hands to my lips, my vision clouded by the tears flowing freely down my cheeks; these tears were of such happiness I was left only able to whisper through my fingers: "Yes!"
He flashed me a smile that I had never seen before, getting up almost as quickly as he had asked me to, and kissed me long. Again, this kiss was different than the others. It was slightly salted due to my tears, but that was not it. He broke it as well; however, only to take the time to place the wonderful diamond ring on my finger. Though it was not important to me at that moment, the ring, what truly mattered was what it symbolized. I was getting married!
"It is beautiful..." I whispered to him, ogling it for a few nanoseconds, before looking back to his far more alluring eyes. He rubbed the back of his head wearing a sheepish grin.
"I wasn't sure if you'd like it..."
"How could I not?" I replied instantly, kissing him again.
This was the longest one of the lot, and, as if finally catching up to us, the small box fell to the ground as Naruto began gently to lead me towards our bedroom. We both fell onto the bed, our kiss still enduring the trials of time. Finally, we stopped it; both in need for air, but that had not been the reason as to why. Naruto's cell phone was ringing. He ducked his head at me, biting his lip softly as he did so, his bangs falling in front of his face. He took it out to look at who was calling; his work. The very work that had deprived me of my beloved for so long now, could they not simply leave him alone with his lover- his fiancé rather- for but a few minutes? Was it truly too much to ask?
Naruto looked from the phone to me, and back to the phone before whispering: "I gotta take this babe, I'm sorry."
I gave him a defeated look, as that was the very same sentence he had said last time, before he left for two years. Two years, they had taken him away from me. He stepped out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him, leaving me in nothing short of hysteria. One single thought ran through my mind: I was going to lose him again! Quickly, I shot up from the bed and ran out to go see my boyfriend, but I had not expected to see that which I saw: the entire apartment was filled with people, our friends.
A loud shout of "surprise!" shook the room with Naruto smiling broadly in the center of the mass of people. I was confused, in fact, stricken by it so much that I could feel my mouth hanging as well as the heat rising in my cheeks.
"Na... Naruto..." I stuttered like an idiot.
"Sorry Gaara," came my brother's voice, much to my surprise that he was here.
"When Naruto told us what he wanted to do, we had to stop by!" Temari, my sister, added.
"But... the call...?" I managed to word out, confusion evident in my voice.
"Wasn't work." Naruto said, grinning devilishly. "You honestly think I'd let them get in the way more than it has already?"
I walked over to my fiancé with a determined look on my face and slapped him, to everyone's shock. Before he could recover, I quickly grabbed his face in between my hands, and kissed him. Cat calls resounded in the apartment, but I paid no heed to them. When I broke the kiss I said to him: "Do not, I repeat, do not iever/i , scare me like that again, do you understand me Mr. Uzumaki?" I softened my tone, and added: "Please..."
The air had grown uncomfortable slightly at how much emotion I was showing as I kissed him again before he could answer. Finally, Sakura was the one to clear her throat to get everyone's attention. "Well, if you two lovebirds could stop for just five seconds, I want to tell you guys something."
Everyone remained silent, Sakura's words having captured everyone's attention effectively. "Now," she said, extended her hand that held two tickets, "congratulations to the both of you for having made it this far together. These are your tickets for your honeymoon."
Just as I was about to protest, Temari cut me off: "We know you haven't even planned when the wedding is going to be, but we figured you could both take a nice relaxing vacation anyway."
I smiled warmly to my sister, and my friends. They were so nice to me. Again, I felt tears threaten to overflow, but I managed to stay composed. "Thank you, everyone."
It was nice and sunny. The beach here in Costa Rica was absolutely splendid. What made it even more enjoyable; however, was the fact that I could enjoy this with my fiancé. Speaking of which, was lying on the sand, his lean muscles exposed, his tanned skin looking just as delicious as it had before he had gone away. I bit my lower lip in attempt to distract myself from such thoughts, but to no avail. I crawled out from under my parasol, and straddled his hips, kissing along his neck.
Instantly, his eyes shot open, and I could feel his hard on from under his swimming trunks. "Gaara..." he said hesitantly. I merely hummed gently in response, "W-what are you doing, love?"
"Can you not tell...?" I merely asked.
"Well, I mean more, why?"
"Do you not enjoy it?"
"iAu contraire/i, I mean be enjoying this too much."
I shivered gently at the insinuation as I grinded my hips into his; earning an earnest moan of want from him as his hands came to rest on my hips. The sun burning on my back mattered little to me as again I bucked my hips into him, earning yet again a small sound of pleasure from him. Suddenly, I was flipped over onto my back and he was hovering over me. A small growl of possessiveness rumbled in his throat as he began to suckle on my collarbone. I bit my lip again to stifle the cries of pleasure that threatened to escape me, the cries of a pleasure that I had been denied for far too long.
"Hold on," I managed to breathe out, "let's get back to the hotel first."
Feigning not having heard, Naruto continued ravaging my upper body, leaving kiss marks here and there. "Naruto." I said louder this time, pushing at his chest gently to emphasize my point. He finally looked up at me, and I could see the lust in his eyes.
"Fine," he reluctantly accepted, but made no move to get off me.
"Naruto..." I said again.
"You need to move if we want to go..."
Finally, Naruto moved. I got up, and proceeded to pack whatever belongings we had before Naruto snaked his arms around my waist. "Leave 'em..." he growled into my ear before grinding against my ass, making me flush red.
Back at the room, as soon as Naruto closed the door and locked it, he captured my lips in a passionate kiss. It was powerful, possessive, but something was missing. It was different than when we were in the apartment, it was like before. Slowly, I felt myself stop kissing him, making him stop and look at me, confused. "Babe? What's wrong?" he asked.
"I... I don't know..." I replied, not being entirely honest with him, afraid slightly of how he would react.
"Gaara," he said, knowing full well I simply wasn't telling him.
"It's... it's just... I don't know..." was all I could come with.
He sighed reluctantly, but did not let me go. "...alright. I'm gonna go out for a bit okay? Maybe when I get back you can tell me what's wrong?" I nodded gently, ducking my head in shame. He tilted my chin up a little, "None of that babe," he said, kissing me softly with tenderness that made my heart swell like it had before. I nodded slightly when we broke our kiss, making him smile softly.
It was late by the time he got back, but I had anticipated such. He called my name, as I had not turned on any lights. I called back to him, saying that I was on the porch. He turned the corner, and gasped slightly at the sight: I had prepared supper and lit our dining table with elegant candles. I had prepared his favourite –though I never found out why he liked it so much– ramen. He dropped the stuff he had bought down on the floor, and walked over to me.
"What's all this?" he asked.
"What was wrong..." I supplied.
Just as I said them, the words clicked in his mind, and he took my hands in his, kissing my knuckles softly as he brought them to his lips, smiling softly at me afterwards. "Babe, you iknow/i I love you." I nodded softly. "Look at me, Gaara." He said as I had tried to avert my gaze elsewhere. "Thank you."
With that, we sat down. While we ate, we talked about nothing, just as we used to. I could say for once in a long time, I was content. I was happy. At both having someone to talk to while I ate, and at having it be my Naruto. We had turned on the radio, just to have some background noise. Suddenly, "Hallelujah" began to play, and I saw Naruto extend his hand to me.
"C'mon, it's our song babe."
I smiled softly, taking his hand, and he led me to the center piece of our room. It was not particularly large, nor was it small. We held each other, my arms around his waist, and his own draped around my shoulders as the gentle song played.
Yeah, but I remember yeah, when I moved in you,
And the holy dove, she was moving too,
Yes, and every single breath that we drew was Hallelujah.
We sang to each other the words from the bottom of our hearts. We embraced each other tightly, simply rocking gently with the music. I rested my head on his shoulder as we danced on for what felt like an eternity, and a second at the same time. The small solo came through, and Naruto pulled away, despite my gentle whine of a protest, and he kissed me fully. I melted in his arms at how it felt. It was a languid kiss, both of us lazy from the slow beat, and just the long day, but even though, it was the most powerful one we shared.
"I love you so damn much..." he whispered.
"Me too..." I replied.
As our kiss deepened, I felt him lead me towards the bed. I yelped slightly when I fell over onto it, giggling afterwards. He took off his shirt revealing more of his delicious skin, and his well-toned muscles. I was about to lift myself a little before he pushed me back down delicately, making me look up at him, confused.
"Tonight, there's only you." He said, leaving me just about as puzzled as I had been.
He captured my lips in another heated kiss, nipping at my bottom lip, begging for entrance, and I only gladly obliged. His tongue explored every each of my mouth, just as if it was the first time he had done so, making let out a wanton moan escape my lips. He smirked into the kiss a little at the sounds I was making as he darted a hand under my shirt, playing with my nipples. He broke the exchange to take off my shirt, where he began to suckle on my nipples, making me arch at his expert touch.
I tried to buck hips into his, but one of his hands was firmly placed on them, preventing me from doing such. By not even two minutes I was completely at his mercy, squirming beneath him, begging for more. He ducked one of his hands beneath the waistband of my shorts as he brought his kisses up along my chest and neck, before finally settling back on my mouth.
Gently, he began stroking my already achingly hard member, making me moan again despite myself. His hand still holding firm on my hips was driving me absolutely crazy. I tried to move it before he deepened the kiss, making me forget all about it as I wrapped both arms around his neck. He unfastened my shorts, and slid them down my hips slowly, making me growl slightly in anticipation. He broke the kiss, and brought his mouth down along my chest in an unhurriedly manner, peppering kisses here and there, until finally he was at my navel.
I had not even the time to register what he was about to do before his mouth swallowed my member whole. I cried out in intense pleasure as my hands immediately dug themselves into the mess that was his hair. He bobbed his head slowly, ignoring my fingers that dug slightly into his scalp from how hard my fingers were clenched. I was completely at his mercy.
Determined to bring me over the edge, not that he need much more, he began to fondle my sac, eliciting one last cry of pleasure before I came into his mouth. He brought his head down all the way to the base of my shaft before slowly bringing his lips back up to tip, keeping a constant suction, making sure he swallowed all of my release. "That was... amazing..." I said, panting as I tried to get over the mind-numbing pleasure I just experienced. I could faintly hear him saying "it gets better" but I was not certain until I felt his lips on my own again. I felt my erection come back to life almost immediately at the thought that I could taste myself on his tongue.
I managed to distinguish the sound of cap opening, and closing shortly afterwards before I felt his fingers prodding at my entrance delicately. I gasped into the kiss as I felt his first finger slide in easily, followed by the second; however it made me wince a little at the initial discomfort it brought. He crisscrossed his fingers inside me, enticing my entrance to widen enough for him to be able to move about freely. He thrust his fingers deep inside me, time and time again, making me cry out every time as he would hit my prostate with such force I almost came instantly. Just before I reached my climax, I broke our kiss whispering huskily: "Need you inside. Now."
He growled in response, unfastening his shorts and taking out a condom from the drawer, making me raise an eyebrow as to why there was one there in the first place but I brushed it aside immediately. Before he could open it I took it from him, earning me a puzzled look. I opened the package and placed the condom on the tip of his raging member, slowly, I sucked on the tip of his erection making him groan deeply as it throbbed with the need of release. I smiled on the inside and in a slow pace; I lowered my mouth all the way to the base of his shaft, effectively unrolling the condom as well. I did my best to not gag as I pulled him out of my mouth equally as slowly.
As soon as he was free, he positioned himself at my entrance, hoisting his legs over his shoulders. He gave me one look to which I nodded curtly before he thrust himself to the hilt. I groaned softly in pleasured pain, and he immediately brought his lips to mine in an effort to take my mind off it. As my body grew accustomed to the intrusion, I began to move my hips, signalling him that he could move. He only happily obliged, as he began thrusting inside me. He began rough, but almost as soon as he had, he slowed his thrusts, dragging them out, making it more pleasurable for me, and also effectively reminding me of what he had said earlier. I smiled again, moaning, and arching myself into him at the pleasure. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he found my sweet spot, and repeatedly thrust into it, sending waves of pleasure coursing through me. My member twitched in need of release, and he seemed to have noticed as he began stroking me long and slow, kissing me languidly as he did so.
"My Lord, you're so fucking tight..." he whispered to me through clenched teeth, I felt him tense up with me as we were both so close to our breaking point.
Finally, he groaned loudly just as I screamed his name into our kiss and he released into the condom, and I over both our stomachs. He fell over me with sigh of relief, but was careful not to squish me under his weight. Our breathing was laboured, we had not had this much pleasure in a long time. Just reminiscing over made my member start to come back to life.
"You know... when I said it was going to be all about you tonight I meant it figuratively, right?" he questioned, giving me an incredulous look.
"You shouldn't have made the offer then..." I countered, making him grin playfully at me. "I love you," I said.
"I love you too babe," he said before kissing me long and passionately. We continued making love for quite awhile before we stopped, completely exhausted. He slipped out of me, and disposed of the protection before climbing back into bed and wrapping his arms around my waist. I snuggled into him, my head resting just under his chin. He kissed me on the top of my head just as he gently rubbed my back. We both knew I would not be going anywhere tomorrow, and were both too tired to even think about cleaning ourselves up. We were simply content with laying there in each others' arms.
"Hm?" he grunted, half asleep already.
"I love you..."
"Mhm, me too..." with that, we fell asleep, a long, dreamless sleep.