Okay, so this WAS an M Rating but I lowered it to a T because there's nothing too bad in it.

I'm not trying to shock people, but I wanted to write something bawdy without worrying that anyone might get offended. In my other fandom people are used to me and my M Ratings, but here I'm new, so I thought it best to give fair notice and just be careful.

It's in no way pornographic, but this site doesn't allow for that anyway.

A/N This is based on Dusty's declaration during the beginning of the Freckles episode that he was "gonna rope and tie ya."

Yes, I'm obsessed with Dusty and his roping and tying. Sigh.

Inspiration also comes from callensensei's Fish Story over on the Gilligan's Island board, where Gilligan has to rescue a naked Mary Ann from the lagoon.

Which I love!

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"Dusty? Dusty?" Lulu sighed emphatically as she picked her way cautiously through the trees and bushes. Cal had asked her to go check if Dusty was okay as he'd been gone from camp a long time, but Lulu didn't see why it should have to be her. Still, she hadn't really been doing anything else, so she figured she may as well show willing. Besides, if she did this, maybe it'd get her out of doing some other more unpleasant chore later on.

"Dusty, c'mon, this is stupid. I know you're out here somewhere."

There was a faint rustling off to one side and she stopped, tilting her head towards the noise. But when it didn't continue she figured it was probably a rat or something.

Of course, that just started her off thinking about rats. Big, fat, nasty, hairy rats with long naked tails and big pointy teeth and hideous whiskery faces and little beady eyes. Lulu shivered, decided she didn't want to be out here any longer than she needed to be.

"DUSTY! This is not funny! Where in Sam Hill are ya?"

Gol' darnit, where was he?

Not two seconds later Lulu was ambushed. Something went over her head and tightened hard around her middle and pulled her bodily towards a nearby clump of bushes. Just as she was about to scream a hand clamped itself firmly over her mouth and dragged her into the undergrowth.

Dusty's face appeared over her shoulder. "Gotcha!" he said, his voice triumphant. "My first movin' target!"

Lulu yanked his hand away from her mouth and glared at him. Shocked and angry were not the words for how she felt right now. "Dusty! What in all tarnation are you playin' at? You just scared the crap outa me, you crazy galoot..." she stopped, noticing how pleased he looked with himself, standing there with that goofy grin plastered across his face. "You bin hidin' in these bushes all this while waitin' for someone to come along so you could rope 'em?"

"Yeah," Dusty said affably. "Only I'm glad it was you and not Mr. Callahan 'cause I don't think he'd-a bin so easy to catch."

Lulu couldn't help her immediate showgirl response to an otherwise innocent observation. "You sayin' I'm easy?" she drawled, one hand on her hip.

"Easier'n Mr. Callahan," Dusty nodded.

Lulu smiled. You couldn't stay mad at Dusty for long, he was just too amiable. "C'mon, Dusty, get this here lasso offa me and I'll get on my way back to camp to tell 'em you're safe 'n' sound out here playin' Buffalo Bill."

"Sure, Lulu." Dusty reached out and started trying to loosen the knot where the rope had tightened around her waist. He had the rest of the rope coiled haphazardly over his right shoulder and as he worked at the knot, a few coils slipped down his arm. He hefted his shoulder up to readjust, but that only served to loosen more coils.

"Here," said Lulu, "lemme help you there." She lifted the fallen coils, pulled them off his arm and slung them over her left shoulder. "I'll just hold these here while you get the rope off me."

"Thanks, Lulu." Dusty was struggling now. "Knot's pretty tight," he muttered.

"Lemme see if I can help," said Lulu. As she tried loosening the knot herself, the coils slung over her left shoulder fell down her arm. Dusty picked them up, but instead of putting them back on her shoulder, he hooked them right over her head. Then, as further coils began slipping down his own right arm, he picked them up and slung them over his head. Meanwhile Lulu picked at the knot, which was stuck fast. "What kinda knot is this, Dusty?" she asked impatiently. "You're supposed to be able to loosen 'em a lot better'n this."

Dusty reached for the knot again. He tugged and tugged at it, getting so frustrated that the coils of rope that he'd slung over his head now started dropping down over his other shoulder.

"Dusty, you're startin' to rope yourself, hun," Lulu told him.

"Oh. Yeah." Dusty pulled the coils from his left shoulder back over his head to his right, but as he lifted his arms in the air he got confused and dropped some of the right shoulder coils back over his head to his left.

"No, Dusty, honey, put these back over here..." Lulu pulled coils over his head, but he just kept adding more. "Dusty, you're just makin' it worse..."

"Here, Lulu, you hold those for a minute," Dusty said, looping some coils over her head. "Then I can just get rid o' these." He had now gotten himself completely confused, pulling at coils of rope around his chest and looping more coils over Lulu's head until the two of them were effectively lashed together.

"Dusty, that's not helpin' any," Lulu said, struggling against her unwanted bonds.

"Well, you ain't helpin any by strugglin' either, Lulu," Dusty countered, not wanting to take the blame for it all himself.

"Dusty, all you had to do was get one loop o' rope from around my waist, and now look- you got loops around me, you got loops around yourself, you even got loops over that damned bush over there, you got loops everywhere 'xcept where they're supposed to be, In a nice, neat coil over your shoulder!" At that, she thumped his shoulder, but not hard. She wanted to be mad at him but it was so difficult!

Dusty, meanwhile was pulling a face that suggested he was thinking. "Lulu," he said at last, "why don't you put your arms up if you can, and I can just slip this rope over your head like this..." He grasped several tangled loops in both hands either side of her waist and began pulling them up her body. "C'mon Lulu, arms up."

Sighing heftily, and showing pointed reluctance, Lulu hoisted both her bare arms up in the air. Dusty, whose face was by now almost buried in her mountainous blonde curls, began tugging the rope up her arms but as he got higher got his own arms caught under the loops and while struggling to get them free only managed in dropping the loops back over both himself and her. Not only that, her hands got snagged in a loop and ended up over his head and held fast around his neck.

"Dusty, what the heck are you doing?"

"Getting us out of this mess, Lulu. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"I don't like to say what it looks like, Dusty. What do you think it looks like?"

It was only then that their situation became clear.

"Oh," said Dusty.

"'Oh' is right, cowboy. You got the two of us trussed up together tighter than a Christmas goose. I doubt even Mr. Brookhaven's ever bin this close to Mrs. Brookhaven, and they're married." She glared at him sternly, or at least as sternly as she could seeing as her arms were lashed around his neck and his arms were tied up in twisted loops of rope around her torso and every time she or he struggled their bonds just got more and more tangled.

"I'm sorry, Lulu," Dusty said, looking genuinely apologetic. "I ain't tryin' to dishonour you or nothin'."

"Oh, Dusty." Lulu couldn't help smiling at his display of chivalry under the circumstances. "I know that. I know you were just practisin' your ropin' skills. But the point is, we're now in what some folk might call a 'compromising situation'."

"Maybe we better call for help," Dusty suggested.

"Are you kiddin' me?" Lulu said, her beautiful eyes wide as saucers. "Do you know how much they'd laugh at us, Dusty? This'd last 'em til California. I mean, Dusty, look at us."

Dusty bit his lip. "I'm tryin' not to," he admitted, averting his eyes.

Lulu glanced down. It was only then that she saw she was in danger of coming out of her bodice. Not just slight danger...real danger. A cough would do it. "Oh, Dusty!" she cried plaintively. "That's it...I ain't callin' for no help. We're getin' ourselves outa this mess and we're doin' it now!" She wriggled against her bonds, trying desperately to loosen the rope whilst retaining her modesty.

She failed on both counts. Spectacularly.

"Um...Lulu," Dusty said, glancing down, then up at Lulu's face, then down again.

Puzzled, Lulu followed his gaze, then gasped as she saw her breasts were now completely revealed to anyone who wanted to look. Which really only meant one person right now, and he was definitely looking. "Dusty, stop looking!" she demanded.

Dusty turned his face away immediately, his voice shocked and affronted. "I was only tryin' to help, Lulu!"

"Well, don't! I mean, do. I mean, do try to help, just don't look at my breasts!"

Dusty made a small choking sound. "Did you have to say it out loud?" he protested.

"It's what they're called ain't it? I know you men prefer 'hooters' or 'puppies' or..."

"Lulu!" Dusty sounded desperate now.

Lulu softened immediately, relaxed her shoulders. This was Dusty, for goodness sakes. The least threatening man she knew. "Sorry, Dusty. It's just...well, believe it or not, I'm kinda sensitive about 'em. Hell, you wouldn't think it, would ya? Big ol' fancy showgirl like me, kickin' m'legs up in the air 'n' flashin' m'bloomers all over, but I never liked 'em much, always though they were a little on the small side..."

"Lulu!" Dusty sounded really desperate now, his arms pulling frantically behind her at the ropes that bound them together.

Lulu stopped talking- not least because the feel of his rough shirt rubbing against her naked breasts had started doing very strange things to her. "Dusty," she said, hearing her voice falter, "don't struggle like that, please."

"What? But how are we gonna get out of this mess if we don't struggle?" As if to prove his point, Dusty began struggling even more. He began yanking hard on the ropes, his arms wrapped right around her, and every time he pulled, her breasts rubbed up against his chest and she tried to squirm away but that just made things worse and finally she closed her eyes, biting her lower lip, wishing he would stop for the sake of her modesty, but then wishing he would just carry on doing it because damn, it felt so good.

"Darnit, Lulu, I don't think this is gettin us anywhere," Dusty muttered, pulling back at last to look at his friend, who had gone very quiet. "Lulu?" he said curiously, "Lulu, are you okay?"

Lulu's eyes were closed, her mouth slightly open, her cheeks flushed slightly pink.

"Lulu? Are you sick?" Dusty inched his face closer to hers. "You look sick..."

"Dusty..." Lulu murmured, as if in a daze.

"Lulu..?"

Lulu opened her eyes just enough to see how very close his face was, how startlingly blue his eyes were. He looked so sweet, so Dusty-like, gazing at her like that. He wasn't staring at her breasts any more, or using the position of his hands to grab a surreptitious feel, he was concerned for her, worrying about her, wondering if she was sick. Not just that- he was cute, there was no denying it. Maybe he didn't have the kind of darkly chiselled good looks she normally went for, but he had friendly looks, good natured looks, and he was handsome, in a quirky kind of way, he was. Especially with that silly hat on that he always wore even when he was sleeping. And especially up this close. Why he was so very close right now, she could just...

Lulu couldn't hold off any longer. She no longer cared if it was wrong or whether anyone was going to come out here and catch them. Her breasts were throbbing and Dusty's panicked struggling had made him sweat slightly and he was starting to smell all hot and even a little manly. She kissed him. She kissed him with her lips parted, and after a moment's hesitation during which she guessed he was struggling with the notion that his actions might be a little inappropriate, he responded by kissing her right back.

After a couple of very pleasant moments indeed, Lulu pulled back and smiled gently at him. "Not bad," she mused, coyly lowering her eyelashes.

"Is that what you meant by not struggling?" Dusty asked innocently.

Lulu giggled demurely, then thought, oh who am I kiddin'. She kissed him again, harder this time, tightening her arms around his neck. He couldn't move his own arms very well under all those ropes but she could feel his fingers flexing against the lace-covered whalebone struts of her bodice. They kissed for a long time, and when she poked the tip of her tongue against his lips he even let her go right ahead and put it in his mouth, the first time she had ever kissed him that deeply.

Lulu felt her legs going weak. Dusty was responding to her deep kiss, responding mighty fine for someone who seemed so unworldly most of the time. It surprised her and it thrilled her too. He was kissing her like he knew what he was doing, all right. Unless he was just following her lead- in which case that made him a quick study and the idea of that thrilled her too.

Lulu broke the kiss, noting with pleasure that Dusty was clearly reluctant to stop. "Dusty," she breathed huskily, "I need to sit down, or somethin'. You're turnin' my knees to jelly."

"I knew you were sick," Dusty mumbled back, making a bold attempt to re-engage her in the kiss. "If your legs go weak it means you're sick."

"I ain't sick, Dusty, it's you. You're makin' me dizzy with your kissin'."

"It ain't just me kissin', Dusty observed correctly.

"I know, but it's you that's makin' my legs go weak. C'mon, either you get down on the floor, or else I collapse and take you with me."

"Okay," Dusty agreed. "I'll get down on the floor."

He bent his knees and lowered himself slowly while Lulu did the same, careful not to overbalance them both. In moments Dusty was kneeling in the dirt with Lulu straddled across his thighs.

"This ain't so good either, Lulu," Dusty said plaintively. "Not with you sittin' on me like that, and us not even married."

"Oh, Dusty..." Lulu didn't want to hear any more talk. She kissed him again, and that was enough to shut him up.

She rolled sideways off his lap, taking him with her until she was lying on her back and he was on top. It wasn't very comfortable, and it meant his poor arms were crushed against the hard ground, but having him on top of her felt so sinful and good she was no longer thinking straight about anything. His kiss was driving her crazy, it was like he wanted to eat her or something. It was all she could do not to part her legs and wrap 'em right around him, except that really would be taking things a step too far, and there was no telling what a man might do if he were so brazenly and wilfully encouraged like that.

Not that either of them had any of their hands free to aid in any of that kind of behaviour- which was a good thing for Lulu, but maybe not such a good thing for Dusty.

'Sides, honey, the inner voice said, be realistic. Last thing you want is a baby poppin' out just as you settle into your brand new life out West, and you know men don't think about that kind of thing.

"Dusty," she mumbled, squirming beneath him. "Dusty..."

He pulled his head up. His eyes were heavy and dazed. He looked...Lulu swallowed nervously. He looked sexy, that was the plain fact of it. Dusty looked sexy.

"Dusty...maybe we oughta stop." It killed her to say it, but there was only one way they were headed, and doing it was a lot different to just talking about it or fooling around and treating it like a joke.

"Stop kissing?" Dusty actually sounded regretful.

Lulu nodded, regretful herself. "I'm leadin' you on, Dusty. It ain't fair of me, and it ain't fair on you."

"S'just kissing," Dusty murmured, trying to kiss her again.

"No, Dusty, we..." Too late. He had found her mouth and then they were at it again, and sweet Jesus if his kissing technique wasn't just getting better and better.

He rolled over, freeing his arms from the discomfort of the stony ground, and rolled over again until Lulu was on top this time. But now her hands were digging into the dirt. She wriggled her arms, feeling stones scraping across her knuckles. "Ow...Dusty, this ain't good," she muttered.

"I agree," Dusty said hoarsely. "I think I'm lying on my gun."

I think I'm lying on your gun, thought Lulu, blushing as he struggled beneath her.

"Dusty, roll on your side, and stop all that wigglin'," she told him sternly, not surprised when he obeyed without questioning her. Not many men ever questioned her when she used that tone of voice.

Now they were on their sides and facing each other. Dusty's hat was askew, pushed to the back of his head, the chin strap round his throat. He looked flushed and bewildered, his mouth still open from their last kiss. There were small stones and other bits of debris caught in his hair which was all over the place.

This couldn't go on. Poor Dusty- he wasn't a toy for her to play with, and if she didn't stop soon he was going to find himself in a very awkward situation indeed.

"Now, Dusty- let me try and work my hands loose on my own, okay? You just stay still, no strugglin', 'cause that just makes the ropes git tighter. Okay?"

He nodded wordlessly, closed his eyes in defeat.

Lulu tried her right arm first. She moved it gently back and forth, wincing at the friction of the rope on her bare skin. The rope was tight but eventually, with a little patience and persistence, she felt the rope loosen up enough for her to gently ease her arm from beneath the binding coils.

"Bingo!" she said triumphantly, extracting her reddened arm from around his neck and waving it above them. "Freedom at last! See, Dusty? Slow and steady wins the race."

Dusty grinned, and looked so sweet that she used her newly-freed hand to gently stroke his cheek. "Dusty, you're a true gentleman," she told him.

"You're a true gentleman too, Lulu," Dusty replied. "I mean, ladyman. I mean, gentlelady."

"I know what you mean, Dusty," she said softly. She put her manicured fingertip against his lips to stop him talking, then engaged him in another kiss before she could talk herself out of it, her hand cupped lightly around his jaw.

While they kissed, Lulu pulled him back on top and freed her left arm as slowly and patiently as before. With both arms freed, she finally felt like they were getting somewhere. The first thing she did was push the hair out of his eyes for him and straighten his hat before the chin strap choked him. Not that it seemed to be interfering with his kissing...

The second thing she should have done was hitch her bodice back up over her breasts, but her inner voice was naughty. Let him have some fun, it said. He's not ogling you or making comments. Let him see them if he wants. I'll bet he'd never tell you he thought they were too small, even if he did.

That led her on to thinking. Just how much experience with women did he did have? He certainly hadn't panicked too hard when her breasts had slipped out. Unless that's his way o' sayin' he don't like 'em, she thought. Maybe he does think they're too small!

This led her to immediately reach for her bodice and haul it right back up her chest. Sorry Dusty, but if you don't like 'em, there's no point in me keepin' 'em out, now. Is there?

Dusty himself seemed oblivious both to Lulu's internal conflict over her perfectly normal sized breasts and her subsequent desire to conceal them as quickly as possible. He was lying on top of her with his head now resting on her shoulder, his breathing kind of shallow and irregular. Lulu knew this wasn't good. The poor boy was getting all excited with nowhere to go. She would have to get them both untied because now, thanks to her, he was in no fit state even to recite his own name.

"Sit up, Dusty, c'mon, fella. Sit up," she murmured into his ear, trying not to let the feel of his hair against her lips excite her.

"Can't, Lulu..." he uttered.

"Yes you can. 'Sides, your arms have gotta be pretty bashed up by now. C'mon, honey, let's go."

Reluctantly Dusty rolled to one side, and Lulu put her hands out onto the ground and pushed and pushed until the were both in a precariously balanced sitting position, squashed up against each other. Lulu worked tirelessly at the ropes, wriggling slowly and steadily until eventually she managed to loosen more coils. One by one she lifted them over both hers and Dusty's heads while Dusty sat there swaying slightly from side to side, staring at her face, his eyes completely glazed over.

Finally Lulu managed to free them both enough to allow them to move apart. "C'mon, Dusty, stand up," she instructed. "We can get out of this now. Come on- or pretty soon they will come lookin' for us."

"Okay, Lulu," Dusty said, his voice cracking down the middle. He lurched to his feet, almost falling over in the process, but Lulu put her arms around him and held him until he was steady.

"Oh, Dusty, I'm real sorry about getting' you into this state," she said softly. "Me and my feminine wiles, I shoulda known what it would do to ya."

"Oh, I don't mind, Lulu," he said as brightly as he could, blinking his eyes back into focus.

"Well, I do mind, Dusty. I got carried away, bein' all roped up t'you and all. You do strange things to a woman that close up, did y'know that?" She smiled at him, working at the final loops of rope until they were all off. All except the one in the first place- the one that had started this whole trouble off- the lasso still tightly tied around Lulu's waist.

"This ain't comin' off without a knife," she muttered, picking at it experimentally but not wishing to risk the destruction of any more fingernails.

Dusty- who had returned to his senses at last- bent down and began retrieving all of the rope coils, which took him quite a while considering the rope was scattered, looped and snaked all over the small clearing they were in. He dropped several while he was picking up others, got his foot snagged and nearly landed on his face and even wound up in the middle of a prickle bush. Eventually he managed to gather up as much of it as he could and stood in front of Lulu with his hat askew and his arms full of tangled rope, one end of which led to Lulu's waist.

"Only one way to get you back to camp, Lulu, and that's to lead you," he said apologetically.

"Well, okay. But we don't need to tell 'em what we were doin', right Dusty?" the showgirl said, not entirely happy with the situation but deciding it was a heck of a lot better than Cal or Andy coming out and finding her and Dusty tied up and rolling around on the floor kissing like two loose-moraled hedonists.

"We weren't doin' nothin', Lulu," Dusty replied, beginning to lead her through the trees. "Were we?"

"Well, we were, Dusty, but they don't need to know that." Lulu laughed then, plucking at the rope around her waist. "I feel like Freckles, the way you lead him around," she chuckled. "Guess this makes you my master, huh, Dusty?"

"No one could ever be your master, Lulu," Dusty said, looking round at his friend. "You're way too smart. Even smarter than Freckles, and he's real smart."

"Why, Dusty! What a sweet thing to say! I'm genu-wine-ly touched. But if I could have a master, I'd choose you, Dusty. Just like Freckles did. 'Cause I see the way you look after Freckles, and if I had a man to look after me the way you look after that horse, I'd be a very happy girl indeed."

They reached the edge of the clearing to where they could see their camp through the undergrowth. Lulu put her hand on Dusty's arm to stop him before they came out of the trees.

"Just so you know, Dusty. I had a real nice time in there," she said coyly. "I don't think I've ever been tied up to a man like that before." She smiled at him, aware that she was actually blushing. Lulu, the showgirl, blushing!

"Me, too, Lulu. I ain't never roped me a girl before."

"And Dusty, I know it was sinful, us not bein' married and all, but if y'ever get to feelin' like that again, you can always come look me up, y'know? Just for a little kissin' and stuff. 'cause you're good. You know that?" She edged closer, traced her fingers over his face and down his chest.

"Gee, thanks, Lulu," he replied, looking delighted, especially when she lifted her face and kissed him gently, once more, on the lips.

"Anytime, Dusty," she whispered.

Lulu straightened her bodice, Dusty straightened his hat, and together the came out of the trees into the clearing, where Mr. Callahan and Andy stood staring as they approached.

"Look everybody!" Dusty grinned. "Look at what I caught me this time!"

END