I'm sure you've heard the story of the girl who jumped down the rabbit hole, and you may have even heard about the girl who was dragged down. But I bet my socks that you never heard about the girl who tripped and fell into Wonderland. Okay, I take that back. It's April season, and it's winter right now so I want my socks. And I have a feeling that there're a lot of stories about clumsy people like me tripping into Wonderland.
So yes, I guess I'll start my story now. It all started (dun dun dunn) on an annoyingly cliché summer afternoon. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, the birds were singing, and I, being the main character, was obviously napping in the grass. I bet you were expecting a white rabbit now, right? Don't lie, I know you were. But luckily he didn't come because that would have only made me feel even more hallucinatory.
Actually, I only got up to go to my house. I really~ had to go to the bathroom. Which sucked epically because it was then I chose to embrace my inner klutz and trip on a rock into a conveniently placed gaping hole.
So now, imagine an (überly awesome) emo-punk girl screaming at the top of her lungs (which you would be to if you were in my place) falling down a giant bottomless pit. Pretend that's you now, just so you can get the full effect. Unless you're a guy; that'd be a bit weird, don't you think? Now then, pretend you really, REALLY have to pee. Not so fun, now is it?
I fell for a long time, all the while distracting myself from my impending doom of wet pants by thinking about how ridiculous it was for a rabbit to dig such an absurdly large hole. Unless it was a demon rabbit, in which case I wanted its autograph.
Of course, my thoughts of the demon rabbit died when I landed. It was surprisingly soft for me falling from three thousand feet and the ground being brick, I must say. Unless it was actually jello. That would've been awesome.
Then I looked down. I had expected that perhaps some flying monkeys had come and placed a super-amazing pillow there for me to fall onto to save me from injuring the bones in my butt. But then I realized that it had been even better: someone had thrown themselves on the ground to protect my overall awesomeness from falling victim to the evil that was the bottom of the pit.
Being me, I was too stupid to stand up. Instead, I decided that now would be the best time of all to ask something very vital to survival.
"Where is the bathroom?"
I didn't quite realize it at the time, but that's like someone getting lost and crossing somehow unknowingly into Mexico and asking where they can find a McDonald's. There are so many things that would be more important to know.
I'm not sure if he liked me because he didn't respond. I thought maybe it was because he didn't like über awesome emo-punks, or maybe he was mad because I fell from the sky and landed on him. But can you blame someone for doing that? (By the way, that's rhetorical. Don't answer me.)
Then I thought, 'No, it can't be either of those things!' So I did the only logical thing and rephrased my question. "¿Puedo ir al baño?" He still didn't respond, but I think he glared at me. "What, do you speak French? Or are you German?" He didn't look very French-like, or Germanic for that matter.
"Young lady," he said in a very formal tone, "if you would be so kind as to get off of me instead of speaking gibberish, perhaps I could help you."
Then it hit me. I was still sitting on him. How embarrassing. (But I still haven't quite figured out why my first assumption was that he spoke Spanish.) I stood up (if not a bit slowly because I was still trying to avoid peeing my pants) and examined him. He was a very fancy looking person donning a white suit (adorned with the four card suits) and a very lovely hat covered in crimson roses, black feathers, and three cards- one was blank, the other had a strange symbol, and the last had '10/6' written in the corner- that I was tempted to steal. So I did.
I must say that I felt awesome in that hat, and that I was glad to see that there were no white flecks in his coal-black hair. But in hindsight, that may have been something to check BEFORE putting in on. Oh well; getting lice would've been worth it.
I expected him to look utterly disgusted at my act of rudeness (what can I say? The guy looked like the type to be all uptight and fancy) but instead he completely shocked me by laughing. "Come with me."
I put on my best thinking face and expected the Jeopardy! theme to play. Weird man with a hat that I encountered after falling into the lair of a psycho demon rabbit says "come with me". Obviously I had to be logical.
"Sure, why not?"
He started walking (he looked as though I had broken his spine. It was pretty funny) and I followed down the large spirally-path that led to the bottom of the giant tower that we were on. "Where are we anyway?" I asked, trying once more to take my mind off of my nearly-exploding bladder. "It's so cold."
"This is the Clover Tower." (He said this as though it would help someone who had just fallen from the sky. But I didn't say anything more on the topic. I would much rather bring up a more interesting conversation.)
'Think small talk,' I told myself. "So… What's your favorite color?"
He seemed taken aback by my oh-so-well thought out question and simply stared until I said "Well?" expectantly.
"Crimson, I suppose."
"And your name is?" Yes, that's right. I hadn't skipped over us introducing ourselves, although I didn't mention me spitting on his shoe. (Which I didn't actually do, but I wanted to see what you would do if I said that) Not wanting to be rude (or rather, more rude than I had already been), I quickly added, "I'm Toki Hana."
"I'm pleased to meet you, Toki. My name is Blood Dupre."
Anybody else thinking "oh my god" here? I mean, he was absolutely the hottest guy EVER, he had a totally über amazingly awesome hat, AND his name was Blood.
"Soooo… Where are we going, anyway?"
"To the Hatter Mansion," he explained. "I'm sure you'd like to know where you're at. And besides, you said you had to go to the bathroom, didn't you?"
I had a feeling that so far all I was to him was a joke, which I didn't mind at all. He looked like the kind of guy who would kill you if he got bored. I didn't doubt that I was in some psycho world where that would be legal, too.
Or maybe I was in Mexico. I hoped that was the case because I really wanted a taco.
Sadly, there were no tacos in my future. We stopped at a gigantically-enormous gate with two little kids (who- in case you hadn't guessed by the way the story's going- were identical besides the fact one wore blue and the other red) wielding axes big enough to slice through the Empire State Building. "Boss, who's the lady?" one asked.
"She's pretty!" Normally someone would think "thank you so much!" here, but I was too amazed at how similar their voices were. It was like they were the same person.
"This is Toki. She will be staying with us here."
I waved excitedly, and by now I had nearly forgotten how badly I had to go to the bathroom. Which had been quite nice, I must say. (Okay, I lied. I still remembered.)
But that's when I saw him.(That's when I forgot.)
/AN. Like it? XD Toki's just like me. Great, another persona. I guess I do refer to myself as her a lot… Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I thought it'd be fun~ Reviews please, OR OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! XD