Dean realises he isn't going to lose Castiel in the same place he realised he was in love. Jimmy's house.
They pay Castiel's brother a visit because Cas has to go back to work now the school's started up again and both he and Dean are avoiding the talk they have to have. The one where Cas says he has to go back to his apartment and Dean tells him he can't leave his parents house. That people will stare and tell him they 'appreciate what he did over there', most of all they'll look at Cas and wonder why the hell he's with a monster like him.
"We're here." Cas says gently. Dean stopped the car in front of Jimmy's house a full fifteen minutes ago. He's been stuck in the front seat of the impala ever since. Castiel eases his hand across Dean's shoulders, creeping, catlike, into his lap. He kisses Dean, sweet and loving, so much so that Dean has trouble remembering that Cas was a whore for years.
"You don't have to" he breathes against Dean's mouth. "not if you don't want."
Dean clicks his door open, sliding out from underneath Castiel and turning to pull him out of the car. Two women are walking down the street towards them and Dean can feel the minute they set eyes on him. Their easy smiles freeze for a second and they seem to flicker with indecision before they continue in his direction. He feels his shoulders rise protectively. It's not like he can hide, never could before, not the size he is and he looks out of place enough in a nice place like this. The scars just make it worse. He doesn't think Castiel has noticed until a warm hand touches his hip. Castiel kisses him again, filthily this time, wide open mouth wet and filled with hot breath.
"I fucking love you" Castiel's smile is huge, and he looks young and excited. Dean has an uncommon flash of imagination, he can see how Castiel must have looked at fifteen, young and soft and fresh. He wishes that he could have known him then, when he'd first began to look at men. He wonders if Castiel would have looked at him, and what he would have seen if he had.
There are a few things Jimmy Novak will never forget. How it felt when Michael Garrison punched him in the face, aged fifteen, for being a fag. What Castiel looked like, naked and wide open with expectation, the first time they touched each other like lovers instead of brothers. The look on his face when Jimmy told him, jaw still swollen with bruises, that they had to stop it – stop themselves.
He remembers Castiel high, mouth swollen from kissing Gabriel Milton in the back seat of his car.
Of course he remembers other things; Amelia on their wedding day. The day he found out she was pregnant with Claire.
But his life is always with Castiel, always was, always will be.
The most recent unforgettable thing was Castiel driving himself crazy with worry for Dean. Before that it was his face, a mixture of pain and sorrow, when Castiel told him what he'd driven Dean to do to him.
Meeting Dean for a second time, seeing his face.
Jimmy will never forget that. Ever.
Dean stands on the stoop, Work boots and jeans the same as the last time he stood there, Castiel's arm slung low around his waist. Jimmy looks at his ravaged face for a second, then looks Dean straight in the eye.
"You hurt my brother again, and I will kill you. Understand?" his face is immobile, emotionless.
"I won't" Dean feels something throb in his chest as he says it. Jimmy looks at him a second longer.
"Come in then" He backs away from the door, walking back into the kitchen and flipping on the coffee maker. "Amelia" he begins as Castiel and Dean settle at the breakfast table. "is out with Claire, so we can...talk properly." Jimmy sits at the table, a dark jacketed figure with oddly pale wrists resting on the wooden table top. "Castiel believes you to be...uncomfortable, with the idea of living in town"
"Cas..." Dean rounds on his lover.
"Don't interrupt me" Jimmy says, evenly. "I'm trying to...look" he loses his formal manner, and suddenly reminds Dean so strongly of Castiel that he has to look away. "I want to make things easy for the two of you...for Castiel mostly, but for you as well Dean." He rubs a hand across his tired face. "I have a friend, more of an acquaintance, Bobby Singer, he runs a salvage yard and I may have helped him with his accounts...not strictly legal accounts."
"Meaning..." Dean's finding this quite emasculating, Jimmy wanting to take care of him and Cas...but then, given what they've been through he guesses they could use a hand.
"He owes me a favour...and he's looking to retire. He's selling his house, the business, everything. Tiny place in the country, few miles from a small town." Jimmy looks Dean close in the eye again. He has to hand it to the guy, he has balls. "I will front you the money, as a loan. If you want me to."
"Shouldn't you ask..."
"I'm asking you. Not Castiel." Jimmy doesn't waver. "You want to look after my brother, I'll support that." Jimmy smiles, small but genuine. "You're the first man to try."
Castiel's stubble brushes Dean's neck, his mouth pressing a damp trail to the skin, teeth teasing the skin. Sometimes he wishes Cas had some kind of boundaries. Then he catches the look on Jimmy's face, an expression of such affection it reminds him of Sam...but mixed in with a kind of want that makes his stomach clench and his jeans feel tighter. A shaky breath escapes Jimmy's mouth and he finally notices that Dean is looking at him, and not the man still sucking lightly on his neck. A flush tints Jimmy's pale face.
"You want to get in on this?" Castiel breaks off to ask, quirking an eyebrow at his brother.
"Married. Cas." Jimmy frowns.
Some of the tension is broken though.
"Yes" Dean says.
Jimmy looks at him, really looks, like he's judging his immortal soul or something.
"Ok, I'll call Bobby in the morning." Jimmy takes one last look at the two of them, the takes a deep breath. "Coffee?"
Dean realises he isn't going to lose Castiel. Not because they're going to live at the Singer Salvage Yard (which for some reason they will never get around to renaming) or because Castiel has been through hell for him, just as Dean has been through hell himself. But because of the look on Jimmy's face, like he's lost the best thing that ever happened to him.
And the way Castiel looks at him, all the time, like Dean is the best thing he's ever had.
The way he said, 'I've never had anything be mine before.'
Dean is never going to lose him, never going to leave him. And he's never going to hurt him.
Someday he'll even get around to saying it.