We Are Where We Are Not

A/N: I've had this idea lying around in my head for a while, and I finally got around to writing it today. I love Snape, so I still get a bit misty-eyed when I think about the end of DH. I won't deny there were some tears shed while writing this. Crying over fictional characters is something I should be ashmed of, don't you think? This is just a series of little drablle-y letters Professor Snape might've written during his time, some remaining unsent to this day.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, this was written for pure entertainment.

car nous sommes où nous ne sommes pas;

because we are where we are not.

- Pierre-Jean Jouve, "Lyrique"


Minerva,

Please warn your students that my classrooms are OFF LIMITS after class hours. Fred and George Weasley will be serving detention with me next Wednesday, fixing the shelves they broke while trying to steal my peppermint twigs.

Severus

Lupin,

Your potion is ready. You should come and get it because Merlin knows I won't set foot in your office to give it to you.

And do hurry, its smell is nauseating and is infesting my entire office.

Severus

Albus,

I really didn't need another pair of socks for Christmas, I have enough to last a lifetime, seeing as you offer me a pair every year. Must speak to you urgently concerning the things you know.

Severus

P.S.: That owl you sent is idiotic and keeps following me around. Undo this if you will.

Molly,

I assure you there's no need to owl me every day inviting me for dinner; I am quite capable of feeding myself.

Also, please scold your youngest boy, he keeps occupying vacant classrooms with his girlfriend.

Severus

Lily,

Harry looks more like his father every day. I think you'd be glad to know this, but I am not particularly fond of it. He keeps dozing off in my class. No one bothers to correct it but me, and Merlin knows he doesn't listen to anything I have to say.

Everything has been going as usual: all my students still have the mental abilities of a troll. The French woman is still frightening.

All my love,

Severus

Hagrid,

Control your students. Fred Weasley snuck a Flobberworm into class today, which made all the young women jump on tables, screaming.

Severus

Lucius,

The Dark Lord has summoned us and wants to meet next Tuesday. I expect your house to be ready, and pull yourself together. Our master has voiced countless times how much you repulse him.

Tell Narcissa Bellatrix wants to have a word with her.

Severus

Lily,

Today I was cleaning my office and found one of my old textbooks. You signed your name on the corner and drew a little bird.

I hope you are free.

All my love,

Severus

Sirius,

No, I do not have any more dead mice I can send you. Feed your pet something else and stop owling me.

Severus

Poppy,

I realize, even if I don't understand why, that you are worried about my health. I assure you it is just a cold, and I will resume my duties when I find myself fit to do so.

Severus

Poppy,

Please stop trying to unlock my door at night. I know it's you.

Poppy,

I am capable of brewing a Pepperup potion, stop asking first-years to leave vials on my desk.

Minerva,

I am sitting in a bed in the hospital wing as I write this. I strongly dislike you for mentioning to Poppy that I was grading assignments in the teachers' lounge.

Severus

Lily,

I saw Harry flying today. You would have been proud.

Sometimes I see you walking in the halls, I am sorry you have to waste your time haunting me.

All my love,

Severus

Albus,

Moody has been scaring the first-years again. I have talked to him, but he just sent me somewhere I am sure you wouldn't wish to visit.

I have long ceased to try to understand why you insist on choosing mentally unbalanced faculty members.

Arthur,

Your wife sent me a knit sweater with a big 'S' on it for Christmas. I am not quite sure how to approach the subject, as I am certain she would like to see me with it on, but it's more likely for a Grindylow to wear it than me.

Happy Holidays,

Severus

Sirius,

I don't have any dead gnomes lying around, either.

Draco,

Wait around after class on Monday, your mother has sent some presents for you. Although it's not my place to meddle, your mother is spoiling you rotten.

Professor Snape

Horace,

No, you cannot use my office for a party, as I have told you for three times this week already, not even if I am invited.

Severus

Lily,

The house elves keep sending up cucumber sandwiches for my dinners. I have repeatedly told them I do not like cucumber sandwiches. Why must they be so daft?

Longbottom fainted in class today after I told him he should try his potion on himself and see how worthless it was. I cannot understand why he keeps acting like this.

Poppy ran after me all afternoon trying to take my temperature. I had a headache afterwards.

All my love,

Severus

Don't ask me to do it, Albus, because I can't.

Molly,

If I give in to your pleas and come over for dinner, will you tell your owl to stop pecking my hand? I am bleeding already.

Severus

P.S.: I will not tolerate fake shudders of fear and yelps of horror from your twin boys. I will leave.

Lily,

Seeing your boy's hatred for me, with those eyes staring straight at me, proved to be the worst thing that happened to me since you left.

I hope he can forgive me. I am sorry. I can't forget places where I've been. If you were here, you would fix things. You always did.

If Albus should be with you, I hope he tells you everything I have been putting to paper all these years.

All my love,

Severus.

Harry,

You turn eleven years old today, and we'll soon meet. I don't think I will be able to look at you, I heard you strongly resemble your father. Your mother would want you safe, there's nowhere safer than Hogwarts. I am sorry if I ever come across as mean-spirited; I am. You should know I have always thought of you and your mother with utmost fondness. I don't show it in the most obvious of ways. I am fond of even your father, because of the way he made your mother feel.

I will do my best to keep me safe, even if it takes everything else away from me. I owe this that much to Lily.

Your mother would want you to have a family, and I am sure you will find one here.

Severus