A/N: Hello fellow puddles of goo! I would like to apologize for this chapter; it's danged long, I accidentally (insert sarcastic finger quotes) started swearing in it, and the rating went up. But here it is anyway, for you lovely people! Also, I have a question: I'm planning on stopping this at 12 kisses, so, one more chapter. Do you want me to smut it up all the way, or keep it semi-un-smutty? Thanks for your input! I'll shut up now.
Roxanne hopped in the passenger side of the invisible car and grinned at him, the freckles crinkling on her nose. "I don't get it," she said. He watched that one freckle disappear in her dimple. "We've been on lots of dates. How is this a first one again?"
"Because," Megamind said patiently, "all the dates we've been you have taken me out. Now it's my turn to take you somewhere." He flexed his hands on the steering wheel as he pulled dangerously out into traffic. He missed his leather gloves; they hid the callouses and welding burns, which always caused little shadows to fall in Roxanne's eyes. Like she disapproved of them.
"You've taken me lots of places." That freckle reappeared as Roxanne's smile shrank.
"I mean, willingly. Romantically. That is... not part of some evil scheme... Shit." He whispered the last part to himself, with a mental kick. Not the best way to start a conversation.
Roxanne laughed, his new favorite soundtrack. "Okay, first date." She punched him playfully.
He pretended that the punch didn't actually hurt, raising an eyebrow at her. "Yes, first date. Let's also make it the first date where something doesn't blow up in our faces." It was unspoken that up until he had been discovered, those real first dates as Bernard had gone off perfectly. He didn't bring them up so as not to reopen wounds, and Roxanne seemed unwilling to mention them either.
"Oh yes, that sounds lovely." Roxanne giggled. Megamind reached for her hand, not really paying attention to the road. She feigned horror, pressing the hand to her chest. "Keep your hands to yourself, mister! A classy girl does not have any hanky-panky on the first date!"
Megamind had frantically snatched his hand over to the radio to cover what he had assumed was real outrage at grabbing her hand. He adjusted the volume back to what it had originally been, throwing her his best 'I'm not buying it' eyebrow wiggle. "As I recall, hand-holding and hugging are perfectly acceptable on first dates." Shit, he had done it. He had mentioned the unmentionable First Dates.
Roxanne either didn't notice, however, or she let it pass without comment. "Okay.," she agreed, and quick as a wink, she grabbed his hand and snuggled into his shoulder. Driving was almost completely beyond his concentration, with her this close he could smell her shampoo, an unruly strand of her cropped hair brushing along his jaw. "So where are we going?"
He blew through a red light, glad that the car was invisible, as half a block later he blew past a traffic cop. "That is classified information, Miss Ritchi. You are just going to have to wait until we get there."
She wiggled on his shoulder into a more comfortable position. He jerked around a car that was going too slow for his tastes. "Uh-huh. And how long 'til we get there?"
"Um," He briefly considered taking a detour to continue the witty banter. "We're there, actually." Discreetly, he pressed a button on the dash and dehydrated a parked car, pulling the invisible one over the cube. Roxanne lifted off his should to peer out the window.
"A club? Not really your style, Blue." He grinned at the name.
"Yeah, but someone gave me a tip that tonight there's a promising new artist performing that we would both love." He watched her touch up her lip gloss in the side mirror. As her red lips took on a darker shine, he wondered what flavor it was. He found himself leaning over to her to find out.
She popped her lips and glanced over at him, smiling mischievously as he closed in. "Would this someone be Minion?" she asked, placing her fingers over his mouth. He nodded after a pause, a pathetic muffled whine leaking under her fingers. "First date, remember?" She kissed her fingers over his lips and bounced out of the car. Megamind dropped his head with a loud groan, then let himself out of the car as well. The door screeched horribly, making not only Roxanne and Megamind wince and grit their teeth, but several people on the sidewalk as well.
"So much for subtlety," he muttered, clicking the car into visibility so he couldn't loose it again. Roxanne just laughed some more, linking hands with him as they entered the club.
"Still haven't gotten around to fixing it?" she asked, her blue eyes twinkling in the multi-colored lights. Megamind fished around in his jeans pocket for the tickets, smiling apologetically at the usher when he gawked openly at the couple. He missed Roxanne's frown and narrowed eyes as people stared at them rudely, no doubt muttering to each other about him.
"I've had other projects," he shrugged, searching for a table. Roxanne followed, pressing close to him as they maneuvered around the tiny seating area. As they approached, several obviously underage kids vacated a table in the corner, whispering to each other and giving Megamind somehow both scared and superior looks at the same time. He frowned and shifted out of their way so they didn't risk touching him and potentially freak out. Or start him freaking out. Crowds still gave him the heebie-jeebies, maybe because he had been nearly crushed in a mob on more than one occasion. Apart from Roxanne, he preferred humans to give him space.
"Hmm. Perfect." Roxanne said simply, brushing a crumpled napkin off the now clear table. Megamind realized that he was squeezing her hand a little too tight and relinquished it, giving her a grateful smile. They took seats, crunched up together in the corner, the little table a perfect barrier as odd people squished past.
For a while they simply people-watched, making up ridiculous stories about the weirdos milling about the club and pondering who they were actually going to see. Whoever it was had quite a bizarre following, judging by the amount of people in costume. "Wait, was that a pirate?" "I thought the theme was robots?" "No it's gotta be wizards, look." A waitress slithered her way over and got them drinks, flawlessly pretending that Megamind was no more weird than any other patron. Since he had no idea what anything was, Roxanne ordered them two martinis and he discovered that olives were quite possibly the tastiest snacks ever.
"Screw this little triangle drink, just get me a glass of ohleaves." Roxanne placed her garnish into his drink and took a sip. He tried to kiss her cheek, but she ducked, pink and green lights flashing in her hair.
"First date, remember?" That favorite freckle of his winked out as she ran a finger down his goatee. He let out a pained breath and she smiled wider, the blue in her eyes sparkling as the lights dimmed. She didn't protest as he moved in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. In fact, contrary to her 'first date' rule, she kissed him back, just as softly, for the club had hushed as the lights focused on the stage. He poked his tongue out, just enough to taste her lip gloss. Peppermint. The flavor of victory.
The music had started, and his ears twitched as he vaguely recognized the guitar chords. He and Roxanne disengaged the kiss at the same time, turning in horror to the stage. "No...," Megamind whispered. Roxanne started to laugh, muffling it with both hands.
Music Man, looking more like an Elvis Rockstar than ever, leaned into the mic and dutifully (and wretchedly) sang, "I have eyes, that can see..."
"NOOO," Megamind groaned quietly in his corner, tipping his head back and pressing his hands into his temple. Roxanne gained composure long enough to pat his knee sympathetically. Megamind ran his hands over his face and shook his head. "No, no, no, I did not just take you to a Music Man concert..." Roxanne took her hand off his leg to muffle her laughter again, as Megamind watched the man on stage with most of his face hidden in his hands.
"Oh my god, the irony," Roxanne chuckled, wiping tears from under her eyes.
"Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, sorrrreee..." Megamind covered his mouth like he was going to throw up as the song progressed.
"...Looks just like him, tassels and all." Megamind and Roxanne snapped their attention to the table nearby. Three college-age guys took swigs from their beers in unison, and Roxanne cracked up.
"Wish I could just quit and be a kick-ass rocker." They sipped their beers pensively.
"Naw dude, you could never be as awesome." Sip.
"Fuckin' cool as hell to see him again." Knuckle bumps were passed around the table, and then they went back to their beers.
A table of robots, it was impossible to tell which gender, leaned over and agreed, "Duuuude,"
Megamind and Roxanne exchanged significant glances. "Wait, so they all know?" he hissed.
Roxanne started to shrug, but a girl in a cape and glasses turned around and burst out, "Like hell we know!" She actually started to cry as Megamind attempted to make sense of that statement, holding up his hands like he could magically turn off her tears. "He's my HERO. I will always..." she sniffled dramatically and squeaked, "love him!" She burst into muffled sobs and turned back to watch Music Man strum away on his electric guitar. Her friend, decked out in so many Metro Man themed buttons that her shirt wasn't visible, glared at Megamind and Roxanne as if they were personally responsible for the onslaught of crying.
"We're his biggest fans. We'll support him no matter what he's doing." She patted the caped girl on the back. "And if he's Music Man now, that's fine."
"I'll drink to that!" The three college guys clinked beers rather loudly and chugged the remains.
"Hold on, you know exactly who Music Man is and you're okay with it?" Megamind burst out sceptically. "You're just gonna let the city be hero-less?" Music Man's song grew to a truly horrible crescendo, perfectly mirroring Megamind's point. The waitress swept by again with a new round of beers for the college dudes and lime green drinks for the robots.
"We got you for that now, buddy," one of the guys said, casually raising his beer. Megamind turned to pass a few exasperated looks with Roxanne and found her nodding thoughtfully.
"Wha-huh?" Megamind said intelligently, glancing between Roxanne, the drunk college dudes, the crying girls and the possibly stoned robots. Roxanne squeezed his knee.
"You man." One of the guys swung his beer in a large drunken arc, sloshing beer on the two girls. "You're the hero. Metro Man or Music Man or whatever he is now can take a break, 'cause you got the city." He tipped sideways as he chugged his beer. "In a good way. You save things, he weaves lyrical magic." And with that statement he flopped over on his little table, his buddies saving his beer from spilling by drinking it themselves.
"Duuuude." The robots agreed.
Megamind couldn't think of anything to say, his jaw hanging slightly open before he realized how stupid that must look and shut it. Music Man's song came to a horrible end and another, even more awful one started up. ("Walking on water is only fun when you're an important historical figure")
"You know, his guitar playing isn't all that bad," Roxanne said conversationally.
"Please don't try to rationalize this obscenity for my benefit," Megamind rolled his eyes. "His chords are sloppy and obvious at best, and are entirely unsupported by the quality of his singing, which, by the way..." Roxanne chose to shut him up by leaning in for another light kiss.
By the sound of things, the college guys had whistled and exchanged some form of manly punching each other, and the robots had started another chorus of "Duuuude," again. One of the girls squeaked, both of them chiming in with an extended "Awwww," that quickly increased pitch and became a scream. Megamind grimaced and reached for his gun, intending to dehydrate the lot of them until he could kiss Roxanne without interruption. He opened one eye to scowl when he remembered that he left his gun in the car, and that's when he noticed the pirate on stage, holding a sword in Music Man's face.
"Well, that's new," he said, a little too happily. The fangirls appeared to be screaming for Music Man's sake, but they were able to spare a withering glare in Megamind's direction.
"I know who you are, and I order you to FIGHT, hero!" The pirate demanded. As almost an after thought, he added, "Yarr."
"Hmm," Roxanne used her thumb to fix a smear of her lip gloss, indifferent to the drama beginning to unfold on the stage. "He could use a few pointers on his presentation."
"Kick his pirate ass, Music Man!" One of the college boys roared. The other two joined in with similar sports-like encouragement.
"Leave Music Man ALONE!" the caped girl cried, waving her thin arms in the air. The pirate onstage ignored the crowd and faked a lunge at Music Man, who looked as blasé as ever. He didn't even appear upset that his song was interrupted, probably due to his long history of Things Being Interrupted by Megamind.
"Arrg you lily-livered scallywag! Ye will... submit to duel this instant! Or ye shall walk the plank and suffer... Davy Jones' Locker!" The pirate waved his sword in Music Man's face.
"At least he's mostly sticking to the pirate theme." Megamind tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Although I'm at a loss to why he thinks he can defeat Metro... er, Music Man with a historically accurate sword. I mean, I had the best technology available, and he still... sorta won. Sometimes."
"Yeah, but threatening him to Davy Jones' Locker is totally irrelevant. We're nowhere near the ocean." Roxanne finished off the last sip of her martini. "At least I'm not tied up for this."
"MUSIC. MAN." The robots joined in the crowd's jeering. It sounded like most people just wanted the pirate to leave without confrontation, although the college boys were shouting for blood.
"Oh, so the locker belonging to Davy Jones resides within the ocean you say? Suddenly those movies make so much more sense." Megamind cocked his head to the side as he considered this new information. Roxanne elbowed him playfully.
"Music Man, ruuuun!" The button girl yelled with surprising volume. Megamind decided later that this was the exact moment when everything went completely wrong.
"Shiver me timbers," the pirate spat, almost like a curse, and he pulled a grenade out of his excellent coat pocket, pulled the pin and hurled it directly behind Music Man.
"Oh, hell!" Megamind exclaimed. He jumped out of his seat like he had received an electrical shock, knocking over the little table in the process. Megamind did his best not to grin as the stage exploded spectacularly, pieces of a drum set, plaster and fire peppering the screaming fans. Music Man had disappeared in the smoky mess, no doubt using his super speed to escape.
"WHY would a pirate have grenades?" Roxanne said grumpily, also getting to her feet, if only to press herself out of the way as there was a mass of club-goers exiting the building. Megamind had been swept up in the exhilaration he always felt with a nice, good explosion; joining in the high fives and fist pounding with the college boys. "Megamind!"
"Oh, right!" he grinned apologetically at her.
"Give him hell, man," in a bizarre moment, the college boys saluted Megamind. After a few seconds pause, so did the robots, which in the smoky haze Roxanne could finally see consisted of two girls and two boys, obviously in a love quadrangle with all the hand-holding and angst going on between them. Megamind waved back, unsure of the gesture. The moment was gone as his odd new friends were swept towards the doors in a wave of panicked people.
He reached automatically for his gun, usually holstered on his right hip, remembering again when his fist closed on air that he wasn't wearing it. Because, for some reason, weapons were frowned upon when on a date, especially in public. Well, shit. He made a mental note to add an invisible setting to his favorite pistol so he could never go anywhere without it again. The insane pirate pulled out another grenade, shouting useless pirate-y things when he discovered Music Man had escaped.
"Shit, shit!" Megamind grumbled under his breath, vaulting over a table and pushing past a group of hysterical leather-clad groupies. Fortunately, the area directly around the stage was clear of humans, as the pirate man's grenade fell short in the mosh pit. Megamind dove behind an overturned table, knocking his shoulder and knee painfully on the floor as he rolled. The grenade took a chunk out of the area in front of the stage, making his ears ring and splinters dig through his Black Sabbath t-shirt and into his right side.
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of RUM!" the pirate yelled, throwing yet another grenade on the last word. This one sailed much further than the last one, landing somewhere close to where their table was.
"Roxanne!" Megamind yelled, watching helplessly as a table was blown to bits and someone dressed as a giant teddy bear was thrown into the air. Not Roxanne, not Roxanne, not Roxanne; the mantra was the only thought his amazing blue head could come up with. Alongside mental blueprints of his pistol's upgrades, and death threats to the pirate if she was hurt.
"Pirates. Don't have. Grenades!" Roxanne's voice was closer than he expected, and a safe distance away from the smoking crater of the third grenade. Megamind swallowed heavily, his chest tightening as his emotions conflicted with Roxanne being safely away from the bomb, and her now too close to the madman.
Through the fuzziness in his hearing, Megamind vaguely hear the pirate muttering to himself, "Metro Man, Metro Man, prove that he's Metro Man and get my booty." Megamind made an 'O' face as realization dawned on him. He stood carefully from his hiding spot, holding his hands out to show he was unarmed.
"Okay, listen... matey... Metro Man is gone and you should-"
"YAARG!" The pirate tossed his latest grenade back into the stage and leapt at Megamind, brandishing his blade. Megamind dodged nimbly, sucking in his stomach as the tip of the sword swished harmlessly past. The last grenade exploded, taking out much of the back wall and throwing bits of brick and dust everywhere. The battle should have been fairly easy from there, the idiot had no technique for the art of sword fighting and had left himself entirely open for attack. Megamind should have been able to disarm the weirdo and end the fight had Roxanne not joined into the fray.
"Megs!" She gasped, apparently under the assumption that he had been cut. She jumped out of the smoke, brandishing a table leg like a baseball bat. The pirate used the momentum of his strike to turn around and slash at Roxanne. She swung her table leg, socking him in the stomach with it, but he flourished his sword and a bright ribbon of crimson blood appeared on her yellow shirt, making her drop the table leg. Roxanne pressed her left arm into her side and ducked the next wave of the sword, stumbling to one knee.
Words couldn't form in Megamind's mouth. He grabbed the nearest thing at hand; Music Man's electric Elvis-inspired guitar, and smashed it on the back of the pirate. Unfortunately, it had been severely damaged at some point during the loose grenade chucking, so all he managed to do was separate the body from the neck of the guitar, the strings twanging as they snapped.
"Hornswaggler!" The pirate yelped as he turned. He held his sword level at Megamind, who in turn held the neck of the guitar out at the pirate. The pirate slashed and Megamind blocked with his piece of ruined guitar, and the sword fight began. They were seemingly matched, the pirate was semi-terrible at sword fighting, whereas Megamind had hours of study from Star Wars, but a very inefficient blade. He led the pirate back a few steps as Roxanne scrambled to her feet, still keeping her arm pressed to her side. Distracted as he was, Megamind couldn't ascertain if it was her torso that got stabbed, or just her arm. Either way, there was too much blood on her shirt for his comfort.
"I'm okay," she wheezed before he could ask. "Where's the dehydration gun?"
"Car," he grunted, parrying the pirate's aimless slashing. He fished in the pockets of his jeans, an evil grin worming it's way onto his face as he flawlessly blocked the pirate with his crappy guitar-sword. The keys flashed in the smoke as they arched over the pirate's head; Roxanne caught them neatly, grimacing as she reached up to snatch them. She spun on her heel and vanished back into the haze of dust and smoke.
"Heave ho!" the pirate growled, his teeth bared. Megamind's guitar cracked ominously as the blade met it again.
"Will you stop with the pirate thing?" Megamind wheezed. "You're not any good at it!"
"Hey, fuck you pal," the pirate snapped, chopping off a good four inches from end of the guitar neck. A large fracture ruptured down the remains, but it stayed in one piece. Megamind added his other hand to help keep it whole until Roxanne returned.
"Better, I suppose," He attempted to bash the pirate on the head, but for once the pirate used his advantage and kicked Megamind right in the middle of his chest, knocking him on his back.
"Thar she blows!" The pirate yelled happily, slashing down at Megamind. He brought up his piece of guitar to block, and the period-accurate sword became wedged in the middle of it, tangled in the twisted remains of a fret. This didn't seem to deter the pirate all that much, as he just threw his entire body weight on top, pressing the sword right into Megamind's face.
"That doesn't even make any sense," Megamind said through clenched teeth, resolving to do more push-ups along with the invisible addition to his pistol. The blade pressed closer and closer, finally digging into his eyebrow.
"Hands off my date," Roxanne's voice was pure heaven, a bright light flashing in Megamind's eyes as the weight of the pirate was lifted and a little blue cube clattered on the floor.
"Whoosh!" Megamind exhaled, throwing the remnants of his guitar-sword away from him and relaxing into the floor. Roxanne's footsteps hurried over to him so he sat up, smiling tiredly at her. She was covered in soot and grime, her entire left side dyed red under her folded arm and his pistol hanging loosely in her good hand, but she was smiling back at him. "That was a nicely delivered last line, and a really good shot! He could learn a few things about presentation from you." Megamind picked up the cube and pushed himself to his feet.
"I hate pirates," Roxanne's voice wavered, and she pressed her forehead into his shoulder.
"Some first date, huh?" he sighed. "We get attacked by a maniac, half the club gets bombed and horror of horrors, we have to listen to Music Man's so-called music," Roxanne let out an exhausted laugh into his shirt. "Not to mention dealing with his fans. I mean, what on earth were all the costumes for anyway?" He tucked the pirate cube into his pocket and gingerly wrapped his arms around her back, snagging his pistol from her loose hands. She leaned deeper into his shoulder and moaned.
He moved his hands up to rub her shoulders, peeling her off his shirt so he could get a good look at her face. She did seem a little pale, but that could have been a trick of the smoldering firelight. Her blue eyes were brimming with tears, however, something that Megamind was not used to at all. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, looking deeper into her eyes for any hints of pain. "Because I could take you to a hospital if you need it. Or a ride in an Ahm-blee-ance."
"Megamind I..." she reached up and touched the cut on his eyebrow, twin tears spilling out of the corner of her eyes. "I'm so glad you didn't die." Before he could even think of a response, she was kissing him, holding the back of his neck to her as if he might disappear. She tasted of salt and rubble, the peppermint of barely ten minutes ago lost under a layer of ash. He kissed her softly at first, wary of injury, but then deeper and deeper as he replayed scenes of the battle in his head, seeing how close to death she had gotten. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and squishing her arm in between his stomach and her ribcage. She was hanging onto his neck almost painfully, kissing him with enough abandon to mirror his own. He could feel her tears mingling with the kiss, hot and bitter as he memorized the feel of her. She grimaced in pain, her teeth forming a barrier for a quick second. He paused and pulled away, but she held him in place and tried to cover her small hesitation with a deep, fast kiss, all anger and passion.
"Mmph, Roxanne," he mumbled. She could easily kiss him into oblivion. He pulled away for a breath of air and she gasped as well, her fingers clutching his vertebrae. "It's okay, Roxanne," he assured her, leaning in to brush the tears from her cheeks with his lips. She let go of his neck, letting her good hand dangle off his shoulder. He rubbed her back in what he hoped was a soothing motion.
"Everyone okay in here?" A young paramedic flashed a penlight into their eyes. Megamind squinted and ducked his head away from the light, but Roxanne let the kid examine her briefly. While they had been preoccupied, the ruined club had filled with firefighters and a few police officers, whom had generously left the couple alone. Roxanne was leaning heavily into his body, still pressed up against him, yet somehow the paramedic had discovered all the blood on her side. "Miss, why don't you come outside and sit down for a second?" he asked gently, but Roxanne shook her head.
"It's fine, I just scratched my arm, that's all." She scrubbed the tears and soot off her face with her free hand, exasperated. Megamind shifted his hold on her so he could lead her outside.
"Rox, I think you might need a hospital," He said as kindly as he could muster. He could see a cop wandering his way, looking determined for a statement. The paramedic fell in step with them, and Megamind guided everyone around the police officer. Hero or not, he still didn't really like actually talking to the city's finest.
"Megamind!" Several voices exclaimed as they left the club. I'm ignoring you, Megamind thought. He took a deep breath of fresh air, cool and crisp and almost painfully good after the stuffy, hot, dusty mess inside. He and the paramedic began leading Roxanne towards an ambulance parked a safe distance away, but she stopped short.
"I don't want an ambulance. My insurance can't take it." Roxanne mumbled. The paramedic looked slightly crushed, but he nodded knowingly.
"What? Insurance?" Megamind wiped at the blood trickling from his eyebrow as it dyed his vision a sickly color of blue-green.
"Megamind," called an authoritative sounding voice.
"I'll explain it later," Roxanne sighed. "Can we just leave now?"
Oh yes we can, Megamind thought, studiously avoiding eye contact with the approaching Sheriff. "Sure," he said softly, turning to the invisible car. "Here ya go. Careful of the grenades and pirate lingo," He dropped the dehydrated cube into a police woman's surprised hands, propped Roxanne in the passenger seat and sped off so fast he didn't even need the invisible mechanism.
He ended up taking Roxanne back to the Lair, because he knew when she was lying, and she was not 'fine'. He set her on the edge of the bathtub, and she perched there, clutching her arm to her side. In the light of the bathroom, she actually looked much better than she had back in the club, the grime on her face and clothes not making a dent on her general positive attitude, the blood stain on her shirt less dense and more like several dry smears. He busied himself with gathering supplies, so he wouldn't have to meet her default 'what are you up to' stare.
He sat down next to her on the rim of the tub and attempted to pull her arm off her side. She held it clamped to her ribs with surprising strength. "Roxanne, let me see your arm," he demanded, not unkindly. She locked eyes with him, some unknown emotion flickering across her face. Despair?
"S' not my arm," she mumbled. Her eyes fluttered shut and she went limp, crumpling backwards into the bathtub. Megamind threw himself backwards as well, catching her with the majority of his body and wincing as his back met the ground for the second time that night.
"Ohmygosh!" Megamind adjusted Roxanne so she was cradled in the bathtub. She wasn't unconscious, just maybe in shock? He peeled her arm off her side with nimble fingers to see a streak of fresh blood oozing under her shirt. Suddenly panicked at the sight of so much red, he stripped off her tattered yellow shirt to get a better look at the wound. She had a long cut, grazing just under her ribcage on her left side. It wasn't very deep and didn't look like it had harmed any internal organs, but dammit if it didn't bleed a lot!
Over the years, Megamind had gotten pretty good at patching himself up after battles and breakouts. Nothing too fancy, but then again, he healed pretty fast. With Roxanne's cut, he had never cleaned and dressed a wound so quickly, or so meticulously, in his life. Her shock wore off and she just watched him, the corner of her lips quirking upwards at his frantic movements.
"I told you I was fine," she said when he was mostly finished.
"You should have gone to a fucking hospital." His words were more severe and angry than he expected, and he glowered at her as she smiled a bit wider. "Insurance, whatever the hell that is, be damned."
"Aw, I think you did okay." She lifted her arms, the left one smudged with dried blood. "Help me up?" He sent her one more scowl and scooped her up entirely in his arms, clambering out of the bathtub and carrying her out of the bathroom. He deposited her on his giant leather couch, and sat heavily next to her, running his hands over his face.
"You scared me," he looked over at her, hoping he didn't appear too pitiful. She scrambled to sit up next to him, reaching out and rubbing his arm. All of a sudden, he was all too aware that she was in just her jeans and a bra, her shirt forgotten on the floor of the bathroom.
"Well, you scare me all the time, so we're even." He was mesmerized by the sight of so much skin; the curve of her breasts was spattered with freckles as well, her tiny waist accentuated by the bright white gauze tied around it. "And don't give me the 'you should go to the hospital routine', because you never go, no matter how banged up you get." The blue in her eyes sparkled as she warmed up in her tirade. Normally, the freckles across her nose stood out like stars when she ranted, but they were lost under a dusting of ash. She started to say something else, but Megamind lunged at her, capturing her mouth with his. Her leg slid up behind his back as she fit herself around him, matching up like a puzzle piece. My god, how he loved this woman. But everyone knew that.
Her tears and tiny fainting spell from earlier were gone, replaced by the usual fire that was Roxanne Ritchi. He twisted, feeling the need to taste all of her. His hands found their way to her bare skin, grazing over his handiwork and resting gently just below her bra. He pressed his palms into her, feeling how smooth she was with his thumbs. She melted into him for a minute, then pulled away. "You can't pull my own trick on me, it won't-" He silenced her, his tongue snatching the words out of her mouth. His hands traced around the edge of her bra towards her back.
"Ah-ah! See, this is what I mean, you have a splinter or something in your hand." She tugged on his arm so she could examine the hand, avoiding his lips as he sought to keep kissing her. He finally moved to kiss along her jaw as she held his hand flat to scrutinize it. "Megamind please, I'm trying to remove this ridiculously large splinter and you're making it difficult." He laughed against her neck, moving down it to nip at her exposed collarbone. She picked at his palm with her fingernails, succeeding in pulling out a sliver of wood that felt about as long as his guitar-sword had been. He hissed into the swell of flesh above her heart and she shivered. His hand at last free, Megamind twitched it out of her grasp and back to the clasp on her bra. He glanced up at her to make sure she was comfortable with it, and she smiled warmly down at him, her eyes dark and half-lidded despite her lecture.
He unclasped and disposed of the device in one quick move, faltering to admire her exposed breasts as she lay back on his couch. Roxanne was gorgeous, and when he told her as much, she flushed prettily. It was like she had awoken some deep hunger within him as he moved back to nibble at her breasts. A large part of him was ravenous, sucking at her skin and grazing her nipple with his teeth; but another part of him just wanted to curl up with her and be smothered in her warm embrace. His hands memorized the shape of her, skipping neatly over the cut on her side as he explored her stomach. She slipped her own hands under his shirt, feeling up his chest until he could stand it no longer and paused to shed his own t-shirt, tossing it aside like he was frustrated with the garment as he moved back to taste her other breast.
"Megamind," Roxanne started. He swirled his tongue around her areola and her fingertips dug into his back. He relished in the flavor of her, ignoring pinpricks of pain in his right side as her hands swept down his back. "Megamind," she said again sternly. He moved to kiss the area between her breasts, working his way back up to the hollow of her neck. She slid her knee up between his legs, pressing it gently into his groin. A jolt ran through his entire body, snapping his eyes to hers and making his back ache as his spine locked. His breathing was ragged, his heart hammering into his bruised sternum and his skin hot against hers.
"Got your attention didn't I?" she smirked, protesting as he moved lightning fast to kiss her lips again. "You've got more splinters in your side," she murmured into his mouth. "What did you do, roll around in them?" Her fingers found another sliver of wood embedded in his ribs, but he refused to stop kissing her, marveling at how soft she was. "If that's the way you want to do it..." she sighed, yanking out the splinter.
Megamind yelped, his eyes flying open and his body twitching away from her on instinct. A string of unintelligible curse words fell out of his mouth as he gave Roxanne a pleading look. "I'm not going to let you make out with me when you have splinters the size of pencils sticking out of your skinny ass," she said dourly, but she leaned up and placed another kiss on his lips. He didn't give in at first, wary of her hands on his splintery side, but Roxanne was impossible to resist. Just as he melted back in bliss she jerked out another splinter.
"Ah! Shit! Roxanne," he yelped again, jolting off of her and twisting his injured side away from her devious hands. She sat up, catching his arm as he tried to stand, a playful grin on her face.
"Come back you wimp! There's only two left."
"Wimp! I'm no wimp, I am Megamind: Incredibly Brave and..."
"Handsome Master of all Heroics, yadda yadda. Get over here so I can pull them out." Megamind sat stiffly on the very edge of the couch as she plucked at the nefarious pieces of rubble. "Where is Minion, by the way?" Roxanne asked, obviously trying to distract him.
"Out," Megamind said evasively. "Roxanne listen I'm..." He sucked in a breath through his teeth as she pulled out a bit of wood. "I'm really sorry about our date. It didn't go very well at all."
Roxanne yanked out another splinter and he winced. "Don't be. It was a very exciting first date; I wouldn't want it any other way." She patted his arm affectionately. "All done."
"I kinda don't deserve you," he mumbled in wonder. She pecked the tip of his nose and wandered back to the bathroom.
"We'll see about that. I'm gonna need to wash my face and a new shirt if I'm going to stay the night, and you need to fix yourself up a bit. C'mon," Megamind stood and followed her to the bathroom, marveling at how he had managed to land her at all.
Megamind woke the next morning like he always did; all at once with a thousand new ideas just itching to be worked on. He remembered in time not to bounce directly into some new project, but instead to relax so as not to wake the phenomenal person sleeping on his chest. Roxanne stirred anyway, coming round slowly like she was swimming her way out of a dream. Megamind watched, a little guilty that his startled awakening had bothered her. She was wearing his all-time favorite AC/DC t-shirt, one he had actually gotten at a concert. It was tight around her torso, the fading logo stretched across her chest. He had given it to her last night in the hopes that her scent would transfer onto it, thereby making it that much better.
"Morning," he whispered into her hair. She snuggled into him, not yet ready to wake up.
"Hi," she murmured sleepily into his neck. He fingered the hem of her t-shirt, remembering the grope session from the night before after the pirate attack.
"You know, I'm always kinda surprised that you would stay with some one who routinely gets you slashed half to hell," he remarked conversationally, feeling the little knot of her bandage on her waist. She adjusted herself to fix him with a glare.
"Megamind, I'm not going anywhere. Ever." She smoothed his head and he felt his thoughts go fuzzy at her touch. "I lo.. I'm not leaving." She kissed him softly and his insides turned to mush. They continued for a while, just feather-light kisses as she petted his head and he wound his arms around her.
"Morrr-ning! Who wants breakfast?" Minion's voice sang out. The sound of his giant robotic suit clomped into the Lair. "OH! Oh, uh... Never mind. I can come back." He tromped back out, but it didn't matter. Roxanne had dissolved into giggles.
"That fish..." Megamind growled. Roxanne nudged him, and he watched that favorite freckle of his wink out in her dimple.
"I like Minion. And I ll-like this couch, but if I'm going to stay over more often you need to invest in a bed."
"Consider it vested," Megamind said. "Let's go get some breakfast before Minion decides to come back."