This has nothing to do with that movie thing… I just didn't know that all the fucking storys on here had to be a parody of something!...Hello! I'm Ren, some of you may remember me from "the fullmetal doctor" and and I totally forgot about that story for a long time and im truly sorry about it… ill work on it soon enough so just bare with me. Now back to THIS story. Yes there are a few spelling and grammer mistakes in here. I'm sorry, but deal with it. Enjoy!
December 23, 3086. The night everyone fears is coming, and coming fast. I'm sure right now Santa is planning out his course around the world and who he's gonna kill. I've always wished I could do something about him but even if I did get the opportunity, I would never have the courage to risk my life for the good of others.
"I can't believe that X-mas used to be called Christmas. How did it get to be such a horrible holiday? It seemed like such a happy time a thousand years ago," I thought to myself, my dark brown bangs getting in my eyes. "I mean, they had presents-.."
Suddenly, I was interrupted by a shrill, "DOOOOMINIIIIC!" coming from my little sisters' vocal chords, "DIIIINNER!"
I ignored her. I continued on the homework that I had taken a break from to think about the old ways of X-mas we coverd in history class the other day.
"DOMINIC!" suddenly I heard a THUMP THUMP THUMP, she was running up the stairs.
"She's about as graceful as a mudskipper…" I thought sarcastically. Then I heard a really loud CRASH! Followed by, "OOOWWWCCHH!" It was the unmistakable sound of my sister falling down the stairs. She did it about three times a week.
I sighed and quietly snickered to myself, then stood up, putting my school work awa. I then walked down the stairs, passing my sister, who was crumpled in a ball of limbs, a broken vase, and what used to be a plant.
"You still alive?" I asked her unenthusiasticly.
"No…" Ashley moaned, spitting out some dirt covered roots.
"Good. Whats for dinner?"
"You know whats for dinner! We're having the traditional Pre X-mas ham!" Ashley started to get up rubbing the side of her head, messing up her dirty blond bangs.
"Yum! Too bad we might get killed tomorrow night…" I trailed off.
Santa stared at a computer screen, containing a map of the world with little red dots, speckled everywhere. Almost inconspicuously there was a faint knock on the door. Santa glared for a minute then growled, "Who dares desturb me this night of all nights?" The door creeked open and a little pale elf poked his head in.
"Um… Santa?" The elf said, trembling with fear. "We're out of green paint," he whisperd.
Santa was silent and completely still. Every moment ticking past seemed like an eternity to the elf. "Green paint?" Santa said, still barly moving a muscle. "Green paint? You come in here and tell me that your out of GREEN PAINT! Do you know how hard I'm working right now?" Santa screached at the terrified elf. "Just mix yellow and blue paint together for crying out loud! Can't you stupid elves do ANYTHING by yourselves?" Just then santa pushed a big red button on the top of his desk and a trap door opend under the elf's feet and he went shooting down. A few secconds later, blood splatters shot up from the hole as the whir of buzz saw's came from down below.
"Elves!" Santa barked into an intercom, "Get my sleigh ready! We'll be heading out soon enough!"
The next morning, I jolted awake in a cold sweat. "Stupid X-mas nightmares," I thought to myself. I looked at my calender. "December 24th … today's the day…" I saunterd down out of my bedroom and down the stairs. My family was already at the dining room table having an almost silent breakfast. I poured myself a bowl of cerial and said my good mornings, even though there was nothing good about it. That day passed by fast, nothing to exciting happened. Every one was all worried about what whould happen that night.
At the north pole, Santa had just left for his trip and he decided to hit, litereally hit the northern countrys. One girl in Canada wanted a bike for X-mas, so Santa fired a bicycle at her from a cannon, which killed her. "Theres your bike!" Santa shouted, his genetically engineared, zombie reindear laughing maniachly. "Oh I just love this time of year!"
"What time is it?" Ashley asked me.
"About 10 till midnight," I replyed in a whisper. Our family was huddled together in our basement in hopes of staying safe.
"Hey Dominic," Ashley said in an innocent tone, "will you go with me to the bathroom?"
"Didn't you go like, half an hour ago?"
"I need to go again!" She replyed defensively.
"Dominic go with your sister, it will only be a few minutes," my mother told me.
Me and my sister made our way up the stairs to the main level in our house. We creeped over to the bathroom where she went in and closed the door behind her. Psh, like I was going to whatch…. Just then I heard a weird noise coming from the other room.
"Hello?" I asked, sounding a little scared, "Mom, Dad, is that you?"
Just then I almost completely froze from what I saw turning the corner. A big man wearing bright red suit, with a long grey beard and beady red eyes. It was Santa.
Everything in my mind was telling me to run but my legs just wouldn't move, its as if my muscles were frozen in fear.
"Ho, Ho, Ho, What have we here? A little boy out and about. Isn't it past your bed time?" Santa asked me with the creepyest smile on his face.
I just stood there trembling, not sure weather to run away or stay with my sister. I really wanted to run away. Then Santa pulled out a big machine gun and started firering madly in my direction. I dived away, luckly none of the bullets hit me. I looked at the damage to the wall and froze again. I really needed to stop doing that.
My sister opened the bathroom door, wonder what had happened and when she saw Santa, gun in hand, the wall, and me, almost hyperventalating but not moving a muscle, she imideatily knew what had happened. She grabed the nearest weapon-like-thing near her, which just happened to be the family crow bar, and started swinging wildly at Santa. Santa dodged nearly every swing. I saw one or two hit their mark.
I looked arround me, getting my brain back together, and grabed a frying pan from a cabinet. I decided to try and sneak arround behind Santa while he was distracted by my sister and knock him out cold. I did actually manage to get behind him. Then I saw my opertunity! Santa ducked from my sister trying to hit him, she missed, and when Santa came stood back up, BAM! I hit him right in the back of the head. Santa didn't move for a few moments but then turned arround and glared at me with such intensity that I swear I could feel his eyes burning through my very soul.
"Owch," He said, "That hurt, you could really injur some one like that." He took my frying pan and bent it to a clean 90˚ angle. "You both are on my naughty list now. You should know better then to try and kill Santa!"
He then took my sister. "No!" I shouted.
"Yes!" He hissed. Then he took my sisters head and bent it side ways so her neck snaped. She fell to the floor, motionless.
"ASHLEY!" I screamed, scared out of my mind. I raced over to her to see if she was okay. I felt her wrist for a puls…nothing.
While I was bent over my sister, trying to get her to wake up and pretend that this was all just some big nightmare, or that I was actually on a game show and everything was really okay, I felt a pain in my back that I've never felt before. A sharp, kind of stabing pain. Sudenly I vomited blood and keeled over. Everything started to go blury and the last thing I saw was the glowing red eyes of santa glaring happily then everything went dark.
After that, I faintly heard a, "Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry X-mas!"