Wrong Line of Work or Lucky to be Alive

By Arress

Disclaimer: All things Emergency! belong to Mark VII Productions and Universal Studios. None of the characters belong to me, I'm just using them for a while. I am not making a profit with this story. All the incidents mentioned in this story happened on the actual series.

This is an Emergency!/Simon & Simon crossover. For those of you who don't remember, Simon & Simon was a show about two brothers named Rick and AJ who ran a private detective agency. They had a relationship that rivaled Johnny and Roy. I really like the show Simon & Simon, and figured I have waited long enough for someone to do a crossover, and decided to do one myself. I realize that Emergency! took place in the 70's and Simon & Simon in the 80's. I'm just having a little fun.

This is my first fan fic, so please be gentle. March, 2003

AN: I posted this story, along with several others, years ago on Audrey's Emergency Fan Fiction site under the pen name bekysu. As I've started writing fanfiction again, I decided to post it here too.


Johnny had been pondering his life. So many things had happened to him lately, and he knew he was very lucky to be alive. He just had to get to the bottom of things. He pulled the phone number out of his pocket, and went over the phone and dialed the number.

Rick Simon was just returning to the detective agency that he ran with his brother, AJ, and heard the phone ringing. He wondered where AJ was. He was better on the phone.

Picking up the phone as he sat down at his desk, Rick said, "Simon and Simon Investigations."

The voice on the other end said, "I'd like to speak to Rick or AJ Simon".

"This is Rick Simon. How can I help you?"

"My name is Johnny Gage. I'm a firefighter/paramedic. A friend of mine gave me your number. He said you are good investigators and that your prices are reasonable."

"Well, we do our best. What seems to be the problem, Mr. Gage?"

"I think somebody is out to get me."

"What makes you think that?"

"In the past few years, I've had several close calls, and I'm beginning to believe that somebody doesn't want me around."

"Why don't you tell me the whole story, and maybe we can help you."

"Well, like I said, I'm a firefighter and a paramedic, and a lot of things have been happening to me lately."

"Just start at the beginning," Rick encouraged.

"It all started a couple of years ago," Johnny said. "My partner and I were trying to rescue this guy whose car went over an embankment. I went down the embankment first, and ended up falling and twisting my knee."

"Why does this make you believe someone is out to get you?"

"Just hang on a minute," Johnny said testily, "I'm just getting started."

"Okay, go on."

"Well, another time the rest of the station and I were clearing this building because of a gas leak. Everybody got out of the building but me, and then it exploded. If it weren't for my fellow firefighters, I'd have been a crispy critter. As it was, I fell down some stairs and broke my leg."

"Crispy critter?" Rick wondered. He had never heard this term before.

"That's what us medical types call it when you're burned beyond recognition."

"I can see why you're worried. Is there more?" Risk asked.

"Oh yeah, lots more." Johnny answered.

"Go on."

"Then, there was the time that my partner and I were trying to rescue a couple of little boys who were trapped in a flooding sewer. I came within seconds of being swept away by the flood and drowned."

"I see." Rick was starting to get the picture. This guy was either the world's most accident-prone paramedic, or he was extremely lucky to be alive.

Johnny went on, "Once we were trying to rescue this guy who got trapped in a building he set a bomb off in. We found out he had another bomb in the building about to go off and there was a kid trapped. We got the kid free, and everyone left. I got trapped under a piece of debris, and if my partner hadn't come in to get me, I'd have gotten blown up."

"Is there more?" Rick was actually thinking `there can't possibly be more'.

"Yep. My partner and I responded to a call about a sick woman. She had this monkey that I played with a little bit. The monkey turned out to have a deadly virus. I got very sick and nearly died."

"I don't believe it." Actually, he really didn't believe it. Who gets a monkey virus?

"Well, believe it." Johnny replied. "On top of that, I got sick while we were trying to rescue a heart attack victim trapped on a scaffold. If it weren't for my safety belt, I would have fell almost 100 feet to the ground."

"Amazing." Rick exclaimed.

"There's more. Once, my partner and I were training a new paramedic. We happened to be around when a sweet little old lady had her purse snatched. The paramedic trainee and I chased the thief. After I got the lady's purse back, I came real close to getting chewed up by a dog."

"But you didn't."

"No, but it was real close, I tell you," Johnny exclaimed.

"I believe you. Is that all?"

"No, that's not all!" Johnny nearly shouted.

Rick really wished AJ were here, he really wouldn't believe this one.

Johnny continued, "My station responded to this car accident once, and the victim got confused and punched me in the nose."

"Punched you in the nose?"

"Hey, it really hurt," Johnny came close to whining.

"Okay, okay," Rick soothed, "go on."

Johnny continued, "This one time, this police officer we know was in a minor car accident. He hit his head and got confused. He nearly shot me before I got his gun away from him. Also, once we were trying to rescue this epileptic kid from the top of a bridge. Before I could even get him secured with a safety belt, he went into a seizure, and we both nearly fell off the bridge. It was only quick thinking on my partner's part that saved us both. He held on to my safety line and lowered the kid and I to the ground."

"There can't possibly be more. That has to be it." Rick said.

"No, that's not it." Johnny said. "The fire department responded to this car in a ravine a while ago. It was deep in the brush. After everyone was rescued and my partner left in the helicopter with the victims to go to the hospital, I went back down to the car to get my handie talkie, and I ended up getting bitten by a rattle snake."

"I'll bet that was close." Rick said.

"It sure was. Nearly didn't make it that time either," Johnny added.

"That has got to be it," Rick said. "You couldn't possibly top that."

"Well, actually I can, believe it or not," Johnny went on. "Our station responded to an unresponsive lady in a bar in the middle of the night. It turned out to be nothing, but when my partner and I were on our way back to the squad, I was talking to my partner, and the next thing I knew I had a close encounter with a car and then the pavement."

"You were hit by a car?" Rick exclaimed. This was getting more unbelievable by the minute.

"Yes, I was. Broke my leg again, and had to have my spleen removed."

"You broke your leg again? How many times have you broken a leg?" Rick asked.

Johnny replied, "Actually, more times than I care to remember."

"I can see why," Rick said dryly. "Oh, by the way, did they catch the guy who hit you?"

"Yeah, they did. The police said he had too much to drink, and when he hit me he panicked, but they found him within a couple of days."

"That's good anyway. Is there any more?" Rick was getting a touch exasperated.

"Well, I can't think of anything right off hand, but if you give me some time, I'm sure I could come up with more."

"I don't think there's any need for that, Mr. Gage." Rick just knew what he had to tell this guy.

"Why's that?" Johnny asked, intrigued in spite of himself.

"I really don't think anyone is out to get you." Rick continued.

"What do you think?" Johnny inquired. He couldn't believe his problem could be solved this quickly.

"I think you're just in the wrong line of work." With that, he hung up the phone.

AJ had walked in the office as Rick was hanging up the phone, and having heard the end of the conversation asked, "What was all that about?"

"And I thought being a private investigator was dangerous." Rick said, as he laid his head on the desk in defeat. That guy had them beat in the danger department hands down.


Johnny stood holding the dead phone for a moment before he hung it up. His partner, Roy, who had come in as Johnny hung up the phone asked, "What's the matter?"

Johnny stood looking perplexed for a moment, and then turned to face Roy and asked him, "Do you think I'm in the wrong line of work?"