Title: Museum
Rating: PG
Leverage/Doctor Who
The Eleventh Doctor, Parker - gen
Genre: Humor/Drama
Parker's trying to steal a priceless artifact. So is the Doctor.
Author's Note: Bidding has started for thepurpledove auction, link on my profile page. It's for a good cause, so please consider. Thank-you.

There wasn't supposed anyone else around.

Parker hung upside down in her harness, fingers clutched around the small statue. It was probably worth millions of dollars, but Parker didn't need millions of dollars. She already had millions of dollars.

What she didn't have, was something to do on a Saturday night, while the team was, as Nate said "on a break from each other."

So she was pulling this job alone and there absolutely shouldn't have been anyone else around, but there was.

He was upside down, and wearing a tweed jacket, with suspenders and a bow tie. He could have been the curator, but he had a smile on his face, and curators usually didn't have a smile on their faces while Parker stole their things.

'You're upside down,' she said. She flipped herself back over, statue in hand. 'Oh. That's better.'

'You're a thief,' the man said. He had a British accent, kind of like Sophie, but not nearly as sophisticated. Maybe he was a friend of Sophie's.

'So are you,' she shot back, because there was no other reason he would be standing there in the middle of the night, in the same room as a priceless artifact. The lasers, she noted, were disabled. So were the motion sensors. With a half shrug, she dropped to the ground. 'How did you turn off the security system?' It was the kind of thing Hardison usually did, with big, complicated words that nobody apart from him knew the meaning of. Maybe this guy was some sort of superhacker.

He held up a small object that looked like a pen, but said nothing. Did he poke the security system off?

'Why are you stealing a small statue of Vlad the Impaler?' he asked, twirling the pen thing between his fingers. 'Surely there are more valuable things to steal.'

'It's not about the money,' she told him. Well, it usually was, but not this one. 'If I wanted money, I would have robbed a bank. I just want to see what happens when it mysteriously reappears in three weeks with no explanation whatsoever.'

The man cracked a smile. 'That's a good plan. I like that plan. I'm sorry I have to mess it up.'

Parker frowned.

'Vampire infestation,' the man explained. 'Only way to stop it is to put the statue back on the altar of Gilgamesh, but apparently an entrepreneurial Time Agent decided that he could make a small fortune from the thing. Fast forward – or rewind, perhaps – to now, and I'm breaking into a museum to take it back, only I find a young woman has gotten there first.'

'I knew vampires were real,' Parker said. She pouted. 'Can I come with you? I could totally get the statue onto the altar before the vampires sucked out all my blood.'

'I don't doubt that,' he said with a smile. 'Can you stay out of trouble?'


'I don't doubt that either.'

Parker followed the man to a blue box that, when she thought about it, looked somewhat out of place in the middle of the museum.

She stepped inside, and she didn't even blink