"Hey! Daria! Hey!"
Daria cursed under her breath and continued walking, stepping up her pace. Unfortunately, Christmas had longer legs, and soon caught up to her.
"Daria! Why didn't you stop for me?" he asked.
"Because my doctor said it's not healthy to acknowledge hallucinations," she explained.
Christmas had a skeptical look on his face, but chose to ignore it. "Daria, I need your help!"
"My help?" Daria looked around, half-worried that one of the other freaks from Holiday Island would be showing up soon.
"Yeah! There's a war on Christmas!"
Daria stared blankly at the personification of Christmas. "Have you been watching Fox News?"
"I'm serious, Daria! There's a new student at Holiday Island High School named Holly Day, and she's trying to merge all the yuletide holidays into one! Me, Hannukah, Kwanzaa..."
"And Festivus?" Daria asked archly.
"Yeah, him too! This is seriously bad, Daria. Do you know what happens when a holiday merges?"
"I can't say I really do."
"Before the advent of President's Day, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln used to be their own days, and they were both great holidays, the embodiment of all that made the men they were dedicated after great. Once they were shoehorned into President's Day..."
"...They embodied the characteristics of ALL the Presidents," Daria realized. "Especially the lousy ones."
"Exactly. So you see, if all the yuletide holidays merge, it will bring about untold catastrophe!"
"The only catastrophe I could see unfolding would be if people placed their menorahs too close to the pine tree."
"So you know what we're fighting against! Will you help?"
Daria sighed. "I guess I have no other choice."
"Oh, thank you, Daria!" He embraced Daria, whose face expressed extreme discomfort. He then grabbed her by the hand and led (dragged) her to the rear of the Good Times Chinese Restaurant. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!" Christmas encouraged.
"Uh...you go on ahead. I want to get some egg rolls before I go."
Christmas nodded. "Right. Can't save me on an empty stomach! I'll see you on the other side." Christmas stepped through the wormhole.
Daria wasted no time in running to the side of the dumpster and throwing all her weight against it. As she heaved and grunted, the dumpster began to give way. Once it started forward, Daria redoubled her efforts, and in practically no time at all, she had moved the dumpster squarely in front of the wormhole. Daria probed the wall at either side of the dumpster to make sure the coverage was complete. Satisfied, she brushed her hands off. "That takes care of that." She left the alleyway.
Ten minutes later, the tip of Christmas' hat, as well as one of his arms, stuck out from behind the top of the dumpster. "Uh, Daria? Are you there? I seem to be stuck...hello? Hello?"