Title: Without You Here

Fandom: L&O: SVU

Pairing: Alex/Olivia

Rating: T for teen. Rated mainly for language.

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the SVU universe. Any writing is done purely for recreational purposes. No ill harm is intended.

A/N: So, I've decided to do something unconventional. I realize that it's hard to read stories that are super depressing. And so, for this story I've decided to do two endings. The first, which I'm posting tonight, is what would happen if Olivia somehow pulled through. The second will explore the alternative. Happy first, then sad. Hell, if you don't want to read the other one, then hopefully this should suffice. I really hope that you like it. I honestly worked very hard on this. I'm going to be driving the next two days so I won't be able to update for a little while. I think the drive is something like 22 hours of pure fun...should be a long couple of days. But I've got to go home for Christmas don't I? Otherwise, it just wouldn't seem right. Anyways, you guys enjoy this! And if for some crazy reason I don't get a chance to post before Christmas (I'm certainly not making any promises that I'm going to), please have a Merry Christmas. Do me a favor, spend it with people you love because time is short!

"I've got a pulse!" the words were screamed out into the night, one of the EMS technicians grabbed Olivia by the ankles, pulling her out from the car so that they could lay her flat. Two rushed over, trying to pack gauze tightly into the wounds in order to try and stop the blood flow. Unceremoniously, Olivia's jaw was wrenched open, blood gurgling up past tongue, teeth and lips, until it slithered in small tracks down the side of Olivia's chin and neck. "She's choking! Bullet must have punctured her lung! We need a chest tube now!" Eyes looked on in horror as scalpel pushed into skin, under the direction of a steady hand. In the blink of an eye, plastic pushed into open skin, deep red blood quickly pushing its way out. Almost simultaneously, an aspirator complete with a small plastic hose attachment started to suck the blood from Olivia's airways. Time nearly ceased to exist in the Olivia's mind, as darkness became light. A light so bright it blinded, turning swirls of color into peaceful nothingness. At the same time, Olivia saw that same vacuum of existence threatening to take away everything she'd ever seen, and every known. Her frantic heart barely managed to hold onto its staccato rhythm, spurred on by the determination of the body that was its refuge, and the mind that somehow intentionally pushed itself away from vindication in favor of the desire to hold on to life.

Light began to flicker, heartbeats fading in and out with each second that ticked by. She had a beating heart, but her lungs couldn't suck in air. The bullet that had encroached so very ruthlessly into Olivia's diaphragm left the powerful and vital muscle unable to perform its integral function. Olivia's autonomic reflex system came into effect as one of the paramedics hastily shoved a tube down the brunette's throat. Though the detective had no notion of what was happening to her as she was lost in the space between existence and nothingness, her body fought the tubing parting her vocal chords. With a squeeze of a blue bag, Olivia's chest moved again for the first time. It had been nearly two minutes since her brain had been provided with oxygen and so in her mind's eye she had been past the brink of death. No one would ever be able to say what had pulled her back, what had kept her in this life rather than the next. There are some out there who believe that when someone is taken so prematurely, they are given a choice between life and what lies beyond. Did Olivia choose life? Or did life choose her? Perhaps, the omnipotent being who determined such fate saw a reason to intervene.

Blood still flowed freely, and although, blood was already being pumped into her body in a vein attempt to replace the amount lost, she was severely lacking the precious plasma and blood cells. Olive skin that used to be so stunningly beautiful was now void of color. The pale pallor of Olivia's body only showed a testament as to what she was going through. No words could accurately describe the strain on Olivia's body. It was like a mortal holding up the entire sky.

Still, she fought. Her mind grabbed onto the only sensation that was left in her body. The pain. Of course, anyone in their right mind does their best to avoid that particular sensation. It's the one thing that seems to build on itself more and more with each passing minute. Pain has the unique ability to drive one mad, to torture. And yet, Olivia clung to it as tightly as she could, knowing it would cause her misery. She welcomed it. It was the only thing that she could make sense of. She was desperate for it because she knew that it was the only thing tying her to life. To Alex and to so much more. Carefully, Olivia held on. It was like a sick game of tug of war, where, you plant your feet and just pray to god that they hold you still in the sand. Unbearable forces are threatening to pull them right out from under you, causing you to scream out like an animal not afraid to unleash its rage.

"Turn her on her side!" Paramedics gentle hands, grabbed her right side, hands slipping behind Olivia's back. With a push forwards, Olivia was on her side. A young paramedic, squeezed at the bag, rhythmically, as the other two checked her back for exit wounds. Unfortunately, only one was a through and through. "We've got to get her to the hospital now!" Heads bobbed in agreement, placing her onto a board and then onto a stretcher. A pair of hands seized on of her own as a body jumped into the back of the ambulance with her. Doors slammed shut almost deafeningly as they sped off into the night. Tubes and wires snaked from Olivia's body as she tried to pump her with Saline, Blood, fluids, pain medicine, and so much more.

In a rush of pixilated colors things started to come back, only to be ripped away when the detective's heart gave out on her again.

"She's in asystole," a voiced thundered, "Push one of epi." In a seemingly futile effort, a syringe of liquid adrenaline was pushed into one of Olivia's veins. Without a beating heart, the liquid would not get far. Hence, the paddles, aka human jumper cables were brought into the picture. With a whine, the paramedic charged the machine, while the other squirted gel onto the metal paddles so that they could transfer the shock appropriately. Alex watched in numb horror as the paramedic brought them down on her lover's chest.

"Clear!" in a surge of energy, Olivia's body jumped into the air as if being controlled by a very morbid puppet master. Muscles throughout the whole of her body clenched simultaneously, seeking something tangible. However, things didn't take. She'd have to take another shock. "Charge to 360!"


(16 years later...)

With a gasp, Olivia shot up in bed, the scream that was meant to come out seemingly stuck in her throat. Another gasp escaped her lips as another streak of pain wreaked havoc throughout her chest. A thick sheen of perspiration coated her body, and the blankets beneath it. For a long moment, Olivia struggled to breath. She had to manually tell herself to breath in and out, most of her vital oxygen supply coming in uneven spurts of air. She was used to waking up like this now. Often, she'd feel like she'd been launched back into life with a pair of jumper cables. It was like a surge a kick of something more than her body could handle. The cause? It was her heart. She'd suffered many consequences from that night, years of physical therapy and other conditions that took her years to work through.

During the night of the shooting, Olivia's heart had been what held out under the pressure of the bullets in her chest. However, the lifesaving tactics that were used to keep her heart beating during the period of the rather long coma she was in, damaged the muscle. Olivia's heart had trouble with regulating electrical impulses that were supposed to steady the contractions of the muscle that supplied all of her other vital organs with blood. Every now and then, Olivia would have severe arrhythmias and her heart would just stop. It was why they had a defibrillator on hand. Alex, being severely anal, and a little frightened by the brunette's condition made a point to keep the machine on the bedside table.

Olivia turned her head, her eyes falling on what looked like a sleeping angel. The moonlight pouring in through the bay windows made the honey colored locks shimmer. Olivia let out a sigh of relief, relieved that she hadn't woken her lover when she had jolted awake herself. Slowly, Olivia slid out from under the arm draped across what had been her stomach and was now her legs. She held her breath as she did so, afraid too much movement would rouse Alex. Finally, Olivia made it to the edge. She flipped her legs over the edge and stood up. With a wince, another wave of pain ripped through her chest. With the trembling fingertips of her right hand, she reached up to rub at the place where the sting lingered the most. Closing her eyes, Olivia walked quickly for the door, slipping out of the master suite and into the space beyond. It was dark, but even so, Olivia's eyes could see surprisingly well as her pupils dilated to adjust to the contrast.

With steady footsteps, Olivia padded down the hall to the bathroom. With a flick of the light switch, she stepped inside. With another gasp Olivia caught her reflection in the mirror. It was hard for her sometimes. There were days that she could just stare into the mirror for hours with detached interest. It was hard to explain, but sometimes, Olivia felt like she was in some sort of ghost about to fade away into nothing. It was like a part of her was still missing from that night and she needed to get it back. Tonight was no different, as she stared into the mirror, Olivia hardly recognized herself. Her doe-like brown eyes stared pensively into the mirror, devoid of their usual warmth and sparkle. With a groan, Olivia squeezed her eyes shut, reaching down to turn on the tap with her right hand. She reached out for the sink with her left, to support herself, wincing as fingers wrapped around cool porcelain. Opening her eyes, Olivia cupped her hands under the cold water, letting it pool before she bent down to splash it onto her face. She let out a deep breath, repeating the action a second and then a third time. Finally, she felt like she had a part of herself back. She took a long moment to examine the dexterity of her left hand. It had taken her years of practice to regain use of the limb after one of the bullets damaged a nerve in the brachial plexus. Nothing about the last fifteen years had been easy. Olivia had fought for practically every moment of it.

It was more than worth the pain and the effort of going through each day. After all, she had a family. She had her reason for living.

Unfortunately, some things were still missing. After that night, Olivia had been forced to abandon the force. Just focusing on the struggles ahead she had been forced to turn her back on her past. She lost her job with the 1-6 and the feelings of worth that came with being a very successful detective with the NYPD. Initially, the change hit her hard. She missed working with her friends immensely. And the days she thought about her forced early retirement, well, those were the days that depression hit the hardest. She tried her best to avoid the regret, the feeling of loss that came with what she had to give up, but she felt like it was hard to push all of it away. Years of struggle full of feelings of self-worthlessness followed before she finally saw a therapist that helped her work out most of her problems.

Alex knew how difficult it was for her. She knew how much Olivia wanted that part of her life back, so she did her best to be supportive. After all, it was Alex who had suggested that Olivia take the exam to become a Private investigator. Olivia had gotten the license quickly thereafter, eager to go back to work. It was quite different from being a detective, but at least this way Olivia could still involve herself and her reasoning skills in a valuable manner. And another perk was that she got to make her own hours.

Olivia let out a sigh as she reached up to rifle through the cabinet in the bathroom, accidentally scattering pill bottles with an unsteady jerk of her hand. Olivia cussed under her breath as she bent down to pick up the several bottles that had clattered to the floor. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, fingers closed over the correct bottle. It was her heart medicine. After unscrewing the cap, Olivia dumped out two of the pills into her hand. With a flick of her hand, she popped them into her mouth and then stuck her mouth under the tap, sucking the water into her lips. With a swallow the pills went down. She replaced the bottle and walked out into an eerily silent kitchen to make some tea. She tapped the counter impatiently as she waited for the water to heat up. She drummed the rhythm to one of her favorite songs with slight detachment as she let her mind wander. Eyes wandered over every shadow and every crevice of the kitchen tile. Finally she looked up, her eyes locking onto the calendar stuck to the front of the refrigerator. She felt a tug of her stomach as she realized for the first time what day it was. Sixteen years now.

It was hard to believe that so much time had passed since that night. Sydney had turned fifteen just four months ago. The thought still made Olivia's head spin. The girl was as headstrong as anyone could have imagined, being raised by two woman who were often excessively stubborn. A smile slipped onto Olivia's face at the thought of her daughter, the tomboy, who spent most of her free time playing sports. It was surprising though, how someone so strong and determined could have what could only be called a soft soul. When Sydney found her battles she fought them courageously with the same level of passion as her two mothers. It was shocking really, how two opposite ends of the spectrum could work so well together. After all, compassion and love was all Olivia could ever ask for from her daughter.

With one last look of the calendar, Olivia turned away, determined to forget what day it was. After all, there was some sort of unspoken rule about the day, much like there was about the day, which was the anniversary of Alex's own brush with death. They didn't speak about the days, if they could help it. Even after all of these years emotions were still raw. The feelings of helplessness and near loss were too much for them. It was something they desperately tried to put behind them and forget. After filling her mug with tea, Olivia walked over to the balcony, sliding open the main glass doors that led onto the makeshift terrace. Olivia took a deep breath as her lung met the biting cool air outside. She took a big whiff, smelling the city in all its glory. The air had crispness to it, signaling the approaching change of season. She loved this time of year, purely for this reason, the air despite its coldness and tendency to burn in your lungs, also seemed that much more refined. With a sip of her steaming hot tea, Olivia looked down over the city. It was something she found herself doing often as she tried to make sense of her life. It was incredibly relaxing. And although she couldn't exactly see the stars, all of the lights sprinkling the horizon were enough to make her feel like she was seeing the cosmos.

"Liv?" Olivia jumped, her hand dropping from the railing as she turned around. She had been so lost in the city that she hadn't heard Alex's approach. "What are you doing out here?" Alex asked worriedly, her brow furrowed slightly.

"Nothing," Olivia murmured, "Just watching the city."

"Aren't you cold?" Alex asked, wrapping her robe around her more tightly. She made a point of rubbing her hands over her arms to create some friction and warmth.

"It's not too bad," Olivia breathed, holding the warm mug in-between her hands to warm them as she leaned back out over the railing. Alex came to a stop beside her, staring out over the city. It was relatively quiet, as most of the city was sleeping.

"Everything okay?" Alex asked finally after a long stretch of silence.

"Everything's fine," Olivia muttered tersely. "You can go back to bed. I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Liv," Alex practically whispered, causing Olivia to turn towards her. Olivia could see the expression in Alex's stunning blue eyes clear as day. She let out another sigh, wishing that Alex didn't always see right through her. "Was it your heart again?"

"No. It was nothing," Olivia lied. "I just couldn't sleep." Alex let out a sigh, obviously disappointed with the reply.

"I wish you wouldn't lie to me like that," Alex said sadly. Olivia was surprised when Alex reached out extracting the mug from between Olivia's fingertips. With a quick movement, Alex set the mug down on the table, turning back to Olivia. With a soft touch, the blonde ran her hands up Olivia's body to the brunette's strong shoulders.

"Alex," Olivia whispered, her heart beating heavily in her chest at the touch. Olivia closed her eyes as Alex's hands paused over the muscle feeling the contractions reverberate through skin and bone. Olivia willed her heart to slow down a little bit, something that was impossible when Alex's hands touched her. Slowly, painfully, Alex wrapped her hands in the fabric of Olivia's tank, pulling the detective forwards. With a soft moan, their lips connected. The kiss was hardly a brush, and then it grew in ferocity. Olivia's mouth opened as a persistent tongue traced Olivia's soft lips. With a gasp, Alex's tongue found its way inside, stroking Olivia's silken muscle before exploring the warm, wet cavern of the older woman's mouth. Reluctantly, Alex pulled away, feeling the thundering tempo of Olivia's heart.

"I love you," Olivia breathed, her eyes seemingly going on forever as Alex was given a rare glimpse into the brunette's soul. Alex nodded, swallowing over the thick lump in her throat. Olivia waited for her lover to say it back. Her jaw tightened a little in concern when the blonde offered no reciprocation. "Alex?" Olivia's dulcet voice spoke aloud. She was trying to win the blonde's attention, but failed. Alex was staring into Olivia, but not into her eyes. Olivia jumped a little as she felt delicate fingers, pushing aside fabric. Olivia held her breath as Alex ran her fingers slowly over three white depressions in the otherwise flawless Olive skin of Olivia's chest. The bullets made a triangular pattern on Olivia's skin.

"Alex," Olivia breathed again, reaching out to cover the blonde's hands with her own and stop the blonde's progress. The way Alex was touching her was driving her crazy.

"Hard to believe it's been sixteen years," Alex whispered finally, looking up into Olivia's eyes. Olivia swallowed hard, not prepared for the blonde's own revelation. For Alex to acknowledge the significance of this particular day was a first.

"Lex," Olivia begged, tears welling in her eyes, "Please…"

"Shh…" Alex lifted a finger to silence the detective. "Do you know that I still freak out every time I wake up in bed and you're not there? That I fear that I've imagined all of this."

"I can't. I can't have this conversation…" Olivia shook her head, pulling away. "I'm sorry."

"No," Alex's stern voice left no room for argument as her hand reached out as seized Olivia's left wrist, knowing that the brunette didn't have enough strength in her left arm to fight off her touches. "Don't run away, Liv, I'm acknowledging my greatest fear. You owe it to me to listen. Please."

"I'm right here," Olivia breathed honestly. "Alex, I'm not going anywhere."

"There are days when I look into your eyes," Alex said finally, "And I can't find you. It's like you're off in some far distant place that I can't reach. Sometimes, I feel selfish for wanting you so badly, for needing you and keeping you here."

"Alex," Olivia's voice nearly broke under the weight of the emotions she was feeling, "You don't have to feel selfish. You feel no differently than I did when I lost you. I'm sorry if you feel like I regret being here. The truth is, I want to be here. I need to be with you just as much as you need to be with me. I love you. You have to know how much I love you."

"I know," Alex nodded, swallowing as she tried to blink back tears. "I love you too, baby."

"Always and forever," Olivia added, brushing Alex's cheek tenderly. A smile slipped onto Alex's face, her eyes sparkling.

"Always and forever," Alex added, taking Olivia's lips in another soul searching kiss. "Come back to bed with me?" Olivia nodded, taking Alex's hand. She let out a chuckle as Alex's body convulsed in a shiver.

"You cold?" Olivia asked, closing the door behind them.

"A little," Alex admitted as she led Olivia back to bed by the hand.

"I guess I'll just have to warm you up then," Olivia breathed huskily in Alex's ear, causing another shiver to shoot down Alex's spine. This time, however, it wasn't due to coldness, but instead it was due to the tickle of the warm breath on her neck as Olivia took her from behind. Alex spun around, moaning as lips nipped at the base of her throat, licking and sucking gently. Alex suddenly felt warm heat erupt all over her body. It was amazing what Olivia could do with a single touch. Alex opened her mouth, preparing to speak, but could only hiss as teeth nipped at skin. Olivia trailed bites up the blonde's neck soothing away the sting with a warm tongue. When lips finally captured and took over, Alex felt like she was on fire. Another moan escaped Olivia's lips as soft hands parted her robe to reveal a flawless expanse of pearly white skin. "No wonder you were cold," Olivia teased, hands roaming upwards. Olivia made a sound in the back of her throat as if she was enjoying something extremely delicious. "Mmm. All this for me," Olivia whispered, taking Alex's lips in another demanding kiss. Olivia was surprised when Alex's tongue forced it's way into Olivia's mouth, stealing Olivia's breath. When the kiss broke, Olivia felt warm hands slip under her tank, lifting it from the hem. In another beat of her heart, it was over Olivia's head and was being tossed to the floor. Olivia's brow rose up on her forehead.

"You had too many clothes on," Alex breathed in explanation, before pushing Olivia backwards onto the bed. With a small 'oomphf' Alex was on top of her, kissing the brunette senseless, her hands roaming over soft, heated flesh. Olivia kissed her back with a passionate fervor, not holding back in the least.

"Alex," Olivia moaned needily as the blonde straddled her, repaying Olivia for her earlier teasing. "Please what, sweetie?" Alex asked playfully, making sure to keep her hands off the most sensitive parts of Olivia's body.

"Touch me," Olivia begged. Alex was more than happy to oblige, leaning down to take Olivia in a kiss. Heaving chests brushed together, sensitized flesh causing an unbearable heat to build between them, a molten heat that spread into limbs and that crept into every inch of their bodies. Alex was no longer cold. With a turn in control, Alex found herself flipped onto her back, Olivia climbing on top of her. Alex kissed her back, surprised at the brunette's position. Olivia's arms were the anchors, holding her weight on either side. Olivia's left arm trembled with the effort, and for a moment, Olivia was worried it would give out on her. Yet it held. Alex moaned as Olivia slowly started to drop her body onto Alex's. With heightened sensation, she could feel every brush, every touch and pressure on her skin. She moaned wantonly into Olivia's mouth desperate for them to continue.

Slowly, they made love to one another, lingering touches and kisses their main display of affection. When they were done, Olivia collapsed beside Alex in bed, her eyes closing. It was times like this, stolen moments with her love, her soul mate that reminded her why she stayed. It made it worth the struggle, the pain.

"I love you," Alex whispered, rolling on her side to face the brunette. Olivia smiled, her warm chocolate eyes more than reachable that night.

"You're so beautiful," Olivia spoke in a whisper, reaching out to stroke the blonde's still flushed cheeks. "You know, sometimes, when I can't sleep, I watch you sleep. You're so peaceful when you do. And I just think that you're the most beautiful creature in the world. Then I wonder how I got so lucky enough to have you. How I'm lucky enough to call you mine." Olivia was surprised to see tears leak from Alex's eyes. Immediately she scooted forwards, allowing Alex to lay her head on her chest. "Alex, baby. What did I say? Why are you crying?"

"God," Alex laughed, trying to wipe away her tears, "Why do you always have to say things that are so…perfect…wonderful?"

"Because they're true," Olivia replied candidly. "And hey. I could ask you the same thing." Alex let out another laugh, wrapping her arms around Olivia's middle. She let out a happy sigh, closing her eyes. "What is it?" Olivia asked, brushing her fingers through Alex's hair.

"I can hear your heart beating," Alex hardly breathed, not wanting anything to take away from the glorious sound. There were nights that she couldn't fall asleep, not until she heard Olivia's heart beat for herself. She needed the proof, the tangible evidence, to overcome her fears of imagining all of it. Olivia, knowing Alex didn't want to move, merely nodded and swallowed, brushing her fingers in a gentle manner through Alex's hair. In minutes Alex drifted back to sleep, feeling more at home in that moment than in any other time of her life. Olivia, sensing, she was going to get cold, pulled up the blankets before drifting off to sleep herself.

A couple hours later, Olivia was awakened by the opening of their door. Her eyes blinked sleepily watching the shadow creep across the room.

"Hey," Olivia breathed softly.

"Hey," Sydney breathed, "Sorry to wake you. I left my hairbrush in your bathroom."

"It's not a problem," Olivia replied, "I should be getting up anyways. I'll be out in a couple of minutes to make you breakfast." Sydney nodded, slipping out of the room, with a click of the door. Slowly, Olivia extracted herself from a tangle of limbs and walked into the master bathroom. She turned the shower on, and slipped under the heat of the warm water, running her fingers through her hair.

In minutes she was in the kitchen, making pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Periodically, Sydney darted back and forth, asking if Olivia had seen her chemistry book. "So much like Alex," Olivia thought with a wry smile. Olivia was pleasantly surprised when Alex emerged.

"I thought I smelled bacon," Alex smiled. "Looks delicious." Olivia smiled, giving her a chaste kiss. Sydney made a noise as she walked into the room, looking pointedly away.

"Morning," Sydney beamed dropping onto a stool as Olivia placed the plate in front of her.

"Morning, sweetie," Alex replied, ruffling Sydney's pixie-like hairstyle.

"Mom!" Sydney groaned, rolling her eyes, "I already put the gel in it. You're going to mess it up."

"Oooh, someone's a little touchy this morning," Olivia joked, setting down Alex's plate next to her.

"I just don't want it to look bad," Sydney replied.

"Sounds like she's trying to impress somebody," Olivia spoke knowingly, earning a rather heated glare from her daughter and a blush as well. "Oh, I'm so right!"

"Yeah," Sydney muttered, "Rub it in."

"So," Alex asked with twinkling eyes, "Who is it?"

"Just a boy," Sydney smiled.

"A boy," Olivia repeated, "Do I need to pull out the baseball bat?"

"Oh god no!" Sydney nearly jumped up. "I'm not having this conversation. And no, you're not going to chase off the only boy I like with a baseball bat. I really like him. He wants to take me to a concert this weekend." Olivia felt slightly lightheaded.

"Oh god," Olivia breathed aloud, "My fifteen year old daughter is going on a date."

"Aww," Alex smiled, "We knew this would be happening sooner or later, Liv. It'll be fine."

"So can I go?" Sydney asked anxiously.

"As long as we know where and when it should be okay," Olivia replied. "Oh, and I want to meet him first."

"So you can scare him off?" Sydney teased, "I don't think so."

"Oh, come on," Olivia teased back. "I'll be nice. I promise. Scout's honor."

"You're not a scout," Sydney said pointedly. "Fine. I'll have him stop by before the concert. But one glimpse of a baseball bat, and the deal is off." Alex chuckled. Olivia sat down, starting to read the paper.

"So, anything exciting happening in school?" Alex asked, trying to make conversation with her daughter. It wasn't always easy.

"Actually that reminds me," Sydney said, poking food around her plate. "We're supposed to job shadow someone for a school project."

"Oh," Alex said excitedly, "You decide what you want to do yet?"

"Yeah," Sydney replied, "I was hoping that I might be able to shadow a detective. Hey mom, do you think you could call Elliot and ask him if he'd be willing to have me tag along a day or two next week?" Olivia was immersed in one of the stories. Alex looked at her with twinkling blue eyes.


"Hmm?" Olivia looked up from the paper.

"Were you listening at all?" Sydney sighed. "I wanted you to call Uncle Elliot and see if I could shadow him sometime next week. It's for a project. So can you?"

"Sure," Olivia smiled. "Are you really sure that you want to shadow someone at the precinct and not someone at the district attorney's office."

"Yeah. I'm sure," Sydney, replied, "I'm pretty sure that hours of paperwork and people screaming at you in court would be less than glamorous." Olivia chuckled.

"You do realize that detectives spend hours and hours on paperwork, interrogate perps that would make your skin crawl and go out on stakeouts, don't you?" Olivia asked pointedly, "And I can assure you. None of those things are glamorous."

"I know that," Sydney replied defensively, "The truth is, I've thought about being a cop and wanting to help people. I think it'll be a good way to see if it's something I'd really like to do or not."

Olivia felt her heart speed up a little bit in her chest. The sheer amount of pride she felt in that moment, not only for herself but also for her daughter. Memories flashed through her eyes. From the first day she held the tiny bundle in her arms to Sydney's first day of school, her first soccer game, and beyond. To see the incredibly beautiful girl in front of her, and to know what lie inside, made her incredibly proud and made her heart swell with love.

Olivia still felt some pangs of guilt from time to time. She had missed the first four months of Alex's pregnancy. She had missed the first sonogram, the first sound of their baby's heartbeat. She missed taking Alex to her doctor's appointments. And had nearly missed Alex giving birth. Luckily, Elliot had her back the whole way. And even though, Olivia with all her own struggles, hadn't been able to be there as much as she wanted for Sydney's first few years of life, she'd spent the years since making it up to her. She hadn't missed a single one of Sydney's soccer games and didn't plan on missing any in the near future.

"Okay," Olivia smiled, "I'll call him today. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to have you come shadow him." Elliot and Olivia were still extremely close. He was captain now, dealing with his own unruly bunch of detective's at the one six. After Cragen retired, Munch had taken over for a while before the torch had finally been passed to Elliot. Elliot and Kathy, by some miracle, were still married, and Elliot's kids were all very nearly grown up.

Sydney glanced at the clock. "Crap is that the time? I've got to go grab my bag. Josie is going to be here in five minutes to pick me up." Olivia watched as Sydney hopped up rushing for her room.

"You need a ride home from practice tonight?" Olivia called after her.

"Yeah, that would be great!" Sydney called over her shoulder. As if on cue, the buzzer sounded, Olivia walked over to it and hit the button.

"Hello," she spoke into the mic.

"Hey Mrs. Cabot," Josephine's voice reverberated through the room, "Can you buzz me up?"

"Sure thing," Olivia replied, hitting the button to release the door. They lived in a penthouse. Their life savings and Alex's inheritance were more than enough for them to live slightly lavishly. The view itself was worth the money the place cost. Sydney came rushing back into the room with her school bag and her duffel just in time to open the door.

"See you later, sweetie," Olivia called. She was surprised when Sydney paused a moment to drop her bag and turned back, giving her a crushing hug. She placed a kiss to Alex's cheek and headed for the door.

"Bye Mom," she called back with a smile, "Love you."

A unison of "Love you toos" followed her out the door. Olivia let out a chuckle as she picked up Sydney's plate and paused in front of Alex's.

"You done, baby?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah," Alex replied. "Here let me help you," she said standing up.

"I've got it," Olivia reassured her. But Alex insisted.

"You made breakfast," Alex reminded her, "Let me help you." Olivia felt a jolt in her chest as Alex stole a kiss from her before they started with the dishes.

"What time are you heading in this morning?" Olivia asked, scrubbing one of the pans clean. She was up to her elbows in soapy water but she didn't care.

"Actually," Alex replied with a wry smile, "I don't have to be on the bench until this afternoon." Alex swallowed, "So I was thinking I would just take the morning off."

"Were you?" Olivia asked excitedly. "And just what did you have in mind?"

"Oh…nothing," Alex teased, knowing what would be on Olivia's mind, "Maybe I'll go get a facial at my favorite spa." She let out a gasp of horror when Olivia splashed her with the water from the sink.

"Hey!" Alex screamed, swatting Olivia on the shoulder with a dishtowel. "Stop that!"

"Then stop teasing me!" Olivia replied, splashing her again. She wasn't prepared, however, for Alex to fight back. Her lover picked up the hose from the side of the sink and turned it on, aiming the nozzle straight at Olivia. The brunette let out a shriek as a stream of water shot her in the stomach. Quickly, Olivia rushed for the blonde, tackling her before wrestling away the hose. They were both laughing in joy as the stood facing eachother in the kitchen, both now soaking wet.

"Mmm, I love you," Alex replied, reaching up to pull Olivia in for a deep kiss.

"I love you too, babe," Olivia smiled. "Let's go get you dried off." Alex smiled as Olivia's hand slipped into her, fingers twining together as she led Alex towards the bedroom. With a look over at the love of her life, Olivia could think only one thing. Today was going to be just fine. Amazing, in fact. After all, she had the love of her life and so much more.

A/N: So that's that. If that isn't a happy ending I don't know what is. Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know what you think. Seriously reviews for an author is like food for the soul. It certainly helps things along! The other ending will come shortly! Maybe faster if I get lots and lots of reviews (not that I'm trying to bribe you or anything... :P)!