The "Big Mutant On Campus" Series
By David D. Amaya

Part six "A 12-Page Letter"
Chapter 12

Disclaimer: As always; the first step of the journey.

That's some brilliant moves, mate!

"He ain't kidding, Stewart," Kitty noted that about his skills. "I've never seen that style before, except for… Nah, you don't have the Snidely Whiplash-mustache."

"Excellent, young man, that is exceptional form."

"I agree with Mr. Rasputin, you have outstanding fighting style, Nathan."

"No foolin' sugha, where'd ya'll learn to scrap like that?"

"Nos mères nous ont appris. Our mothers taught us, Paige."

You're kidding right, Stewart?

"Non, Jono. Our grand-père was a Général de Brigade in the French Foreign Legion stationed in the Ivory Coast, when he retired to Lévis, just outside Ville de Québec; he opened a école de formation pour savate boxe française. French Kickboxing. Since our Grandparents only had jumelles identiques, he taught our mères throughout their lives as well as…"

"…My father, Miss Rogue. He learned French Kickboxing from my granddad, that's how my parents met. My mom was an amateur Savateuse champion then lateraled to Taekwondo and even qualified for the Beijing Olympic team for Canada, my dad ended up being her sparring partner until he turned pro."

"Turned pro?"

"Pop was a former World Light Heavyweight Kickboxing Champion, Donavan 'The Kodiak Krusher' McPherson. His Championship belt was in half my baby photos! When they retired they became bush pilots and wilderness guides. While we were growing up they taught us everything we know…"

"… Boxing, fishing, hunting, wilderness training. Camping with Oncle Donnie and Tante Joséphine was better than tout ce que l'on puisse imaginer! Then enter L'Amiral et de sa fille. Admiral K and his daughter, Jono. We met them when they had just transferred to the American Navy base on Kodiak Island where …"

"Well, you have heard of the boy who was raised by wolves, Remy? Well you are looking at the girl raised by seals!"


"Navy SEALs, Kulo. Dad was stationed at NSWC, where SEALs get cold weather survival training. He was just promoted to first-star Rear Admiral and, well makuakane being makuakane, arranged for me to be trained in the stuff they don't teach the Black Shoe Service. He wanted the Admiral's daughter to be able to fend off the cliché club 'trolling swabbie, without burning them to a crisp or frying their brain cell.

"Then I met the boys and, well makuahine and makuakane raised me to share everything with my friends, so we traded more than a few shiners between the three of us!"

"How does Jason fit in your unique family dynamic, Alea?"

Psylock's question made me want to peek in on Iakona.

Remind me to stop doing lôlô things like that, Daddy!

"Hold still,Logan!" Dr. McCoy implored his friend. "It will be noticeably easier if you refrain from growling and fidgeting!"

"I thought all his huesos were dipped in Adamantium, homes?"

"It is freund Angelo," Kurt explained. "But alas the human nose does not contain any bone material. Why did you not inform us that you were skilled in muy Thai, Jason?"

"Because no one wanted to ask me! The Wolverine-in-bitch clothing, here… well, 'thought,' for lack of a better word, that I was hiding behind the Tyrfing Sword and the telepathic princess! Shit," he addressed Logan. "You've got to cancel that correspondence course in the FORCE, Chewie!"

"That was a bullshit move, Jay!" Jubilee scolded him. "Sucker punching Wolvie like that!"

"First of all it was a spinning elbow smash, emphasis on the smash! Secondly, when the fuck did you start to act so naïve! You NEVER give anyone who wants to throw chingazos the first shot!"

"While it pains me to admit it, Jubes, he's right. You never give a puto an even break!"

"Well paraphrasing of the great PT Barnum. STOP WIGGELING AROUND, LOGAN!"

"What's the matter, bub?" Logan attempted to sound, gruff but his nose squeezed shut made the effect comical. "Afraid the bad man was gonna rearrange your pretty face?"

"Something you should have already figured out on your own," Jay eyes traded strings of pure malevolence with the feral mutant. "If you are going to waste your precious time to raise your fists in either fear or anger, ALWAYS be ready to kill or die. You simply never know if the other guy's reason to throw down is enough to think the same thing!"

"That sounds like a lesson from 'The Art of War' junger mann."

"My momma never read Sun Tzu, mister. Come on, suck it up old timer! Think of England!" he continued to follow the injury with insults. "Don't act like you haven't done this before, or that I might not do it again in the near future!"

Angelo snickered which led Logan to growl in his direction.

"Hold still, Logan! I almost have it-"

A sickening crunching sound filled the dojo as the doctor reset Logan's broken nose. "There you are, my friend. Good as new!"

"Ida know, Hankster," Jubilee appraised the 'after' profile of her former wingman of mayhem. "Before it was kinda bent up, now it's leaning to the right a smidge." Leading Logan to snarl at the two of them.

"I believe that will conclude the appraisal segment of our program this evening, young lady and gentlemen," Dr. McCoy looked to his pocket watch for effect. "Students, you are each dismissed to clean up before we all sit down for supper. Please do not worry about replacing the used gear, Logan, Kurt and I shall secure them, so please hurry along!"

"If I didn't know- anything," Jay offered up. "It would seem you are trying to protect him from me."

No, Ikona. He's protecting you from ME!

"Hi ya, Island Gal," Jubilee greeted the disembodied voice of the Hawaiian, proving she was broadcasting the threat to the whole room. "been eavesdropping long?"

Long enough to know this was BOTH of their faults, Jubes!

"So whatcha gonna do to these vatos, chia?"

Oh, I got something in mind for Ikona, Ange, don't you guys worry 'bout him!

Even Kurt and Hank could not contain their snickers at that.

"What about Wolvie?"

"That girlie ain't got the guts to try something with me!"

After what happened in the Danger Room, this afternoon, I'm all out of ideas. What do you think, JEAN?

I, on the other hand, know just how to handle him, Alea! Promise to take notes?

Oh yea!

"As Ah was saying, professor," Sam implored. "Ah never taught nothin' to nobody! Ah don't wanna be one to mess somthin' up, sir."

"Any more than your atrocious grammar, Samuel," Emma replied in her usual bitter, bitchy remarks. "Charles, I am given great pause about this decision as well as to allow-"

"We have been over this arrangement at great length," The professor hated the fact that the White Queen was a stubborn perfectionist. But the one thing he has come to admire about the Academy's Headmistress was her stubborn quest for perfection in herself as well as those who would teach her students.

"I have heard the arguments, they may lack formal teaching experience, but that is exactly the reasons why they are best suited to assist these students. The point what I am trying to bring about is to aid the students in more of a tutoring prospective, a non-structured approach. Samuel knows how to fly in combat as well as formation, he learned through trial and error, not within the pages of an aircraft operator's manual. He can help to point out, as well as to relate to, mistakes in form as well as function, to aid the others that would be there as well.

"Samuel," He addressed the young man with the same warm expression that everyone in the room has come to know when he was about to coax greatness out of uncertainty. "I understand that your reservations to this task is that you are unwilling to fail the students as a teacher, but if you may remember in the seventh grade your need for an algebra tutor, you were uncertain, but you did know the right formulas, but Shelly Watts explained it in a matter that made more sense to you and your grade went from a D to a solid B. You need not be a flight instructor to show them how to fly."

"But Ah'm afraid to make a mistake that will hurt-" The young man was interrupted by Nightcrawler who appeared with a muffled 'bamf' sound and the smell of brimstone

"If you will all excuse me, heir Professor, everyone," Kurt apologized as he appeared. "Hank, would you accompany me back to the dojo, if you please?"

"Certainly, Kurt. If everyone will excuse me." And the doctor left the professor's office with Nightcrawler.

"Twenty bucks says Wolverine tied Skin in a knot," Bobby whispered to Warren.

"Maybe I can be of some assistance to Sam, Charles," Kordel spoke up from behind the group for the first time. "I have had the unique experience of having to learn how to teach something I know well for the first time. If you will allow me, I can help you to help others."

"That is a grand idea," Moira chimed in. "Thanks for your help, Kordel. You should accept his offer, Sam."

"Ah'm not so sure, Moira," he replied with large, timid eyes. "Ah mean, no offense, Mr. Nichols, mah sister told me you're a good teacher and a good man an' all, but do you know how to fly?"

"First of all, no offense taken, Samuel. Second, my intention is to teach YOU to help someone else who can. You never taught others the subject you have the most experience in. Ten weeks ago I did not know how to teach the subjects I studied for four years. I am confident we can help each other out."

"You see, Sammy, that worked itself out," Jean added. "So both of you can work out a game plan to help you with your students so no one gets hurt."

Jean! Alea's voice entered the Phoenix's thoughts. I'm sorry to bug you in your meeting, but can you jump in here and help me take care of a little situation in the dojo?

Alea then sent what was happening in the other side of the mansion; "Come on, suck it up old timer! Think of England! Don't act like you haven't done this before, or that I might not do it again in the near future!" The sound of Angelo snickering echoed over Jason's insult of Logan's-

Broken nose?

"…or worse! If you will all excuse me for a moment." She got up and calmly walked out of the room.

"Unquote," Kordel stated as he pointed at the office door closing. "That is exactly the situation I plan to help you avoid."

"How do you know what happened?"

"I am a highly trained observer, Samuel. Besides, I believe I have already had a staring role in the scene she had left to deal with. And I will accept your bet Mr. Drake, at one hundred-to-one odds Logan was injured," He reached into his pocket and extracted a large billfold, then laid a hundred dollar bill on the table before Iceman. "My one hundred dollars each, to your one. Only of Samuel will accept."

"Come on, Sam!" Bobby implored his friend. "I mean if the Prof, trusts him so can you, besides, I'll cut you in some of that two grand!"

"Ah'm still not sure, Mr. Nichols, Ah'm not convinced this can help."

"'Mr. Nichols' was my father, Samuel. It is Kordel to my friends. I will tell you this; If the President and First Lady of the United States of America trust me enough to teach their son, your sister and nine strangers Economics and Creative Writing." Not to mention letting Gambit teaching Kilowatt to use his powers! "I truly believe you can give me the benefit of the doubt."

"What do you say, to Kordel's proposal, Samuel?"

"Well, Professor, mah ma and pa both voted for Cyrus' pa, so okay, Ah'll give Mr.- Ah mean, Kordel a try."

"Thank you, Samuel, I appreciate your confidence."

"Now that the issue is settled, I will adjourn this meeting so we may all freshen up before we all sit down to supper with the students, I believe the choices made were Mexican and Chinese cuisine. Thanks again to you all for your input and patience."

Kordel was as usual the first to the door and held it open for his friends to exit. Bobby waited until most of the teams exited then approached the federal officer in the hallway.

"Thanks for that, buddy. Sam's a great guy. Brave as they come, but he was raised a true Kentuckyfarmboy, where you were raised in Boston. It's like the song, 'he's a little bit country while you're a little rock 'n' roll.'"

"To be honest, Mr. Drake, the only true difference between the two of us is that Sam was raised in a small town in the country by his hard working mother and father alongside his loving family where they learned manors, respect, and ethical values that they cannot easily dismiss. Whereas I was born in a big city, the hub of the universe if you will, orphaned at five, raised by hired help and had to learn ethics and values by being the opposite of what I was learning at home. There is nothing wrong country or rock music. I point to Charlie Block as my example, he is as country as Johnny Cash, and as rock 'n' roll as, well, Johnny Cash.

"And since you brought up the music metaphor, as far as 70s music goes, Mr. Drake, I never really cared for Donny and Marie duets."

As they were walking down the hall they found Jean sitting in a chair, Scott standing next to her.

"So, what's happening, Jean?" her husband asked.

"Logan gloated one of the students into punching him in the face, Dear."

"So," Bobby sat down next to Jean. "What else is new?"

"Jay broke his nose with an elbow strike!"

"I thought all his bones were coated in Adamantium?"

"Aside from the ethmoid bone, the human nose is comprised mostly of cartilage, Mr. Drake." Kordel informed him. "They did not know Mr. Delano is trained in muy Thai, Jean?"

"I guess not." Bobby replied.

"And I guess I just received my first dividend from the X-Men. Mr. Drake will be investing twenty dollars in this evening's meal, Scott."

"We have to do something about this, quickly."

"Do not worry, Scott," Kordel told the X-Men leader. "I am sure Miss. Kaulalona can deal with her very significant other more effectively than a detention session can."

"I was referring to Logan, Kordel."

"I, on the other hand," Jean said aloud as well as telepathically. "know just how to handle him, Alea! Promise to take notes?"

Which I did, Daddy! I love this list, but not as much as Logan will. ,) As we finish up and head out to shave, shower, shine & shampoo, we are gonna sit down with everyone in a second for dinner. This is gonna be a L-O-N-G chow call.

Well, this is where I have to end this letter, makuakane. I remember māmā's rule of only writing twelve-page letters home, so while I seal this one with a kiss, I get to start another one! ;)

To give you a preview, tomorrow we're going to break into our mentoring groups, and I get to fly a training hop against six bandits!

Wish me Good Hunting!

Me ke aloha pumehana maia mâkou pâkahi âpau,



End of Part six

Part Seven of the "BMOC" Series "Evil Dreams Sweet Nightmares" will be posted Starting next month.

©David D. Amaya 2011