Disclaimer: Do not own Supernatural
Established Wincest. AU.

Chapter 1

Sam walked into the sanctuary and sent Lilith flying with a flick of his hand, slamming her into the altar.

"I've been waiting for this... for a very long time." He stated, feeling the power surge through his body.

"Then give me your best shot." The demon taunted and he held his hand up, throwing his power at her but then he stopped and turned towards the closed door, was he hearing something?

"Sam! Sam!" Dean screamed from the other side of the door and Sam frowned in confusion.

"Dean?" he whispered, not sure if he was actually hearing Dean or not. His head and heart were pounding in unison, making it hard to focus.

"What are you waiting for? Now! Sam, now!" he could vaguely hear Ruby yelling at him but everything felt distant and he didn't know what to do. But he clearly heard it when Lilith started laughing.

"You turned yourself into a freak. A monster. And now you're not gonna bite? I'm sorry, but that is honestly adorable." She taunted and he turned back to her, raising his hand again. What he didn't realise was that as he did so, his eyes turned black. Lilith began to convulse, her body flickering and glowing from inside before she went limp in death.

Sam lowered his hand and stared at the body, his mind reeling. He felt odd...disconnected from everything until he heard Ruby.

"You did it. I mean, it was a little touch-and-go there for a while, but...you did it." Ruby said as she circled the body. Blood was pouring from it, flowing in what looked like a very deliberate way. Sam watched Ruby, confused and suspicious.

"What? What - what did I do?" he asked, struggling to focus.

"You opened the door. And now he's free at last. He's free at last!" Ruby told him, reaching out to him and Sam stumbled back.

"No, no, no. No, he - Lilith - I stopped her. I killed her!" he mumbled, head pounding.

"And it is written that the first demon shall be the last seal. And you bust her open. Now guess who's coming to dinner." Ruby told him, smiling widely and Sam's legs buckled under him.

"Oh, my god." He whispered and then wiped at his face, his hand coming away bloody.

"Guess again." She said even as Sam became aware of a pounding sound coming from the door.
"You don't even know how hard this was! All the demons out for my head. No one knew. I was the best of those sons of bitches! The most loyal! Not even Alastair knew! Only Lilith! Yeah, I'm sure you're a little angry right now, But, I mean, come on, Sam! Even you have to admit - I'm - I'm awesome!" Ruby boasted and Sam snarled at her, trying to get up.

"You bitch. You lying bitch!" he tried to reach out with his powers but dropped, clutching at his head in agony.

"Don't hurt yourself, Sammy. It's useless. You shot your payload on the boss."

"The blood... You poisoned me." He choked and she laughed before kneeling in front of him and reaching out to tip his head up.

"No. It wasn't the blood. It was you... and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly; you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo! I know it's hard to see it now... but this is a miracle. So long coming. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did. Just to get you here. And you were the only one who
could do it."

"Why? W-why me?" he slurred, fighting to remain conscious.

"Because... because it had to be you, Sammy. It always had to be you. You saved us. You set him free. And he's gonna be grateful. He's gonna repay you in ways that you can't even imagine." She told him gently even as the door burst inwards. Ruby stood to face Dean as he rushed in.
"You're too late." She informed him and Dean looked from her to Sam who was crumpled on the ground. Sam barely managed to raise his head enough to look at him.

"I don't care." He snarled, pulling the knife and rushing at her. She went to move but Sam lunged and latched onto her legs, holding on with all the strength he had left. It kept her still long enough for Dean to stab her. Sam let go and rolled away as she fell to the floor, dead.

Dean stared at her for a moment before looking over at Sam who was lying way to still for his peace of mind. He was by his brother's side in an instant, kneeling beside him and reaching out with a shaky hand to roll him over. He nearly recoiled as black eyes met his but instead he tightened his grip.

"Sam!" He called and black flickered to hazel briefly.
"Answer me Sammy." Dean ordered and the black faded.

"D'n." It was barely a whisper but it was an answer. Dean didn't know what was happening to Sam, didn't really want to if he was honest about it but he knew it was partially his fault.

He'd just kept pushing Sam away, leaving Sam with only Ruby to rely on. Yes, he'd been hurt when he'd figured out the girl from the motel was Ruby and that Sam had slept with her but he should have tried to talk to Sam about it instead of hitting him. He hadn't thought too much about it when they'd found Sam; he'd wanted Sam to move on after his death and at that point it looked like Sam had just been seeking release from some random girl. He could accept that easily, okay with a little jealousy but it was still a million times better than finding out his brother and lover was sleeping with a demon. Sure they'd been together for barely a year but it still hurt to be replaced by one of the things that had spent thirty years ripping him apart! He stared down at Sam, watching as his eyes flickered colours and then reached out to him. Sam flinched slightly and Dean realised it was in fear. That broke his heart; sure he'd been made at the kid but for Sam to be afraid of him? He gently placed a hand against Sam's face, grimacing as he noticed the blood still leaking from Sam's nose.

"Shh Sammy, we need to get out of here. Can you help me?" He asked softly and was happy that Sam's eyes turned hazel as he spoke to him.

"D'n." Sam whimpered and Dean stroked Sam's cheek, smiling when Sam leant into his touch.

"I'm here Sam, we need to move kiddo. Think you can stand?" He asked, keeping one eye on the spreading blood pattern nearby. They really needed to get out fast. Sam just stared at him and Dean bit his lip, Sam didn't really seem to understand anything except the fact that he was there. He sighed and then moved so he had one arm around Sam's waist and the other gripped Sam's shirt.
"Okay, up we go." He muttered, managing to get them both upright. Sam's legs were like jelly at first but once they were moving Sam started trying to help. Once outside Dean found the only car there and hotwired it once he'd put Sam in the passenger seat. He floored it, watching as the convent was swallowed by a bright, white light behind them. He didn't care where he was headed, as long as it was far away from where Lucifer was. He kept looking over at Sam who was slumped against the window, head lolling and breathy little moans escaping every few minutes,
"Just hang in there Sammy." Dean told him, watching as once again Sam's eyes changed to hazel.
"Come on Sam, talk to me. Let me know you're in there." Dean pleaded as they raced down the highway. At least Sam had finally stopped bleeding, that had to be a good thing. The whole flickering eye colour was more than a little freaky but he would deal with it later.
"Come on Sam." Dean begged, reaching over with one hand to tap Sam's cheek with his fingers. Sam moaned and seemed to struggle to move.

"D'n." Dean smiled slightly at finally getting a reaction. He saw Sam's hand twitch and then flop on the seat and lowered his hand to take it, squeezing gently.

"I'm here Sammy, everything's going to be okay." He assured Sam, praying it was true. Whatever was happening to him was wrecking havoc with Sam, that much Dean could see. He needed to find them somewhere to hole up fast so he could check Sam over for any other injuries and try to help him with whatever was happening to him. Was it possible that Sam was becoming an actual demon? The black eyes would say yes but Dean had seen souls turn in hell and the fact that Sam reacted to him the way he did would say no.
"Sam do you understand what I'm saying?" He asked as he kept an eye out for somewhere to stop for supplies. He wasn't going to Bobby's, it was too far and he wanted to deal with whatever was happening himself, he didn't want Bobby thinking the worst.

"D'n." Sam said again but there was something different, almost...pleading?

"What is it Sammy? Come on kiddo; find some way to tell me." He felt Sam's hand spasm in his and then Sam's grip tightened before Sam was falling forward, half landing in Dean's lap. Dean barely managed to keep control of the car. Sam turned his head and buried his face in Dean's shirt. Dean could feel warm liquid seeping through the cloth and he freed his hand from Sam's to place it on Sam's head, gently stroking his fingers through Sam's hair. Sam whimpered, his body jerking slightly as he tried to move even closer so Dean pulled over and then simply pulled Sam into his arms, holding him close. Sam stared up at him but didn't seem to be quite able to focus, at least when his eyes were hazel. Dean was ignoring the fact that half the time Sam's eyes were demon black, Sam wasn't acting like a demon, he was acting like Dean's terrified and hurt little brother and that was how Dean would treat him. Sam blinked slowly and Dean smiled as he saw Sam's eyes focus more. Sam whimpered and opened his mouth, trying to talk.
"It's okay, just take your time, I'm here. I've got you." Dean soothed and Sam managed to raise his hand to Dean's face. Dean grabbed it, rubbing his cheek against Sam's palm.

"H...hu..." Sam choked out and Dean frowned.

"Hurts?" He asked and Sam blinked, his eyes starting to lose focus again.
"Hey!" He shook Sam gently.
"Come on Sammy, stay with me, focus on me." He pleaded and Sam whimpered but then his eyes went black again.
"Damn it." He swore softly, before readjusting Sam so he was lying in Dean's lap, staring up at Dean as he drove. That way Dean could glance down and keep an eye on him while driving and continually talking about anything, wanting Sam to know he was there. He eventually pulled into a closed gas station, it actually looked a lot like the one he'd robbed after digging himself out of his grave, but it wasn't the exact same one. He parked and then looked down at Sam.
"Hey Sammy, you with me?" He asked and Sam blinked, eyes fading to hazel.
"Hey there kiddo. I need to go get some stuff so I have to leave you in here for a few minutes." That earnt him a whine of distress and he gently ran his fingers through Sam's hair, happy that Sam was at least able to understand some of what he was saying.
"It's okay Sammy; I'll be back really quickly. But we need food and water." He gently lifted Sam out of his lap, propping him up in the corner, facing the store.
"I'm going to be right in there, okay? You'll be able to see me the whole time and then we'll find some place to hide out till we figure things out." Sam whimpered again in response, body trembling.

"De'n." Well that was the most complete word Sam had managed so far, Dean would take that as a good sign.

"Hey." He whispered, moving so he was in front of Sam, his back against the windshield. It wasn't comfortable but it beat moving Sam around like he was some sort of doll. He stared into Sam's eyes, watching as the black faded again.
"I am not leaving you behind. I will be right back and then it'll be just the two of us again." Dean whispered, stroking Sam's cheek before leaning in and kissing him gently. He smiled as he felt Sam's lips move slightly under his. He knew without a doubt, his brother was still in there no matter what was happening to him. He pulled back and then kissed Sam's forehead.
"Be right back, promise." He whispered and then left the car, sprinting over to the shop and quickly breaking in.

Sam felt like he was floating, barely aware of the outside world and alternatively feeling burning hot and freezing cold. He could distantly hear Dean's voice and tried to respond, able to detect even now the desperation that would creep into Dean's voice for him to show Dean he was still alive. Sam didn't know what was happening to him but it scared him and the one time he felt vaguely able to move he managed to get into Dean's lap, letting his tears soak into Dean's shirt. He could distantly feel his body being moved and then he realised Dean was holding him close, talking to him. He struggled, fighting to communicate with Dean and he heard Dean telling him to take his time. He thought he managed to tell Dean it hurt but he wasn't sure even as he heard Dean calling for him to focus on him. He was trying, he really was and then he could vaguely see Dean above him. Dean's voice was a constant, comforting buzz in the distance and it helped Sam hang on.

He had no idea how long it had been but from how scared Dean seemed Sam knew it had to have been a while and he didn't seem to be getting better. All he wanted to do was curl up with Dean and say he was sorry, sorry for ever trusting that lying bitch and doubting Dean. He could feel something, oily and dark, creeping through him and it scared him. He knew whatever it was not good but he was powerless to fight it or warn Dean who was trying to get his attention again. He struggled for a bit and then panicked when he heard one word 'leave'. Dean couldn't leave him! He struggled to speak, not sure if he managed to call his brother's name or not. Dean's face was suddenly there, in front of him and he was dimly aware of Dean's hand on his face. His features were blurred though so Sam couldn't read his lips but he could still hear Dean saying something about leaving him and...just them? And then he felt Dean's lips against his, the strongest sensation he'd felt from the outside world since he'd held Ruby still so Dean could kill her. He tried to respond to the kiss but wasn't sure if he managed to. Then Dean was gone and Sam could make out a hazy blur heading away. He wanted to scream in pain as what felt like molten lava surged through him, hell for all he knew he was screaming.

Dean grabbed everything he thought they could need and then bolted back to the car only to freeze momentarily in fear as he saw Sam convulsing in his seat. He tore his door open and dumped the stuff in the back before pulling Sam into his arms, trying to hold him still. Sam's eyes were wide open, black and unblinking even as his head slammed into Dean's shoulder continuously.

"Sam? Sammy come on. Don't you do this! Stay with me. You hear me?" Dean yelled, holding Sam as close as he could. Not knowing what else to try and lowered his head and kissed Sam since his brother had tried to respond the last time he did. Sam went limp and Dean nearly pulled away in shock, needing to check Sam's pulse, but then he felt Sam's breath against his lips and the softest of movements against his. Sam was trying to kiss him back! He stayed that way for a few more moments and then pulled back, shifting them on the seat so that Sam was comfortably cradled in his arms. Sam's eyes were still black but at least he'd stopped having a fit or whatever that had been.
"Sam? Can you hear me?" he asked, waiting fearfully for an answer.

"D..." he was alarmed that was all Sam managed but still smiled at him.

"I'm here kiddo, I've got you. You gave me a bit of a fright. We'll just wait a bit and then we'll get back on the road, I don't know about you but I could use some sleep. We'll have to find somewhere abandoned or something but you don't worry about that. You just focus on getting better." Dean explained, trying to stay cheerful and optimistic for Sam's sake. Sam just considered staring up at him, his eyes not even flickering to hazel and Dean felt fear take hold. Was this still his Sammy he was holding? Or a demon?
"I love you Sammy." Dean choked out, leaning in to kiss him again and then he moved them around again so he could drive.