Summary: A wish of Misao's turns Aoshi's world topsy-turvy. Pure silliness.
Part III: All's Fair in Wishes and Love
Adventuring on the trail to Tokyo, with Misao, Battousai, his wife and son would not be the first thing on my "fun things to do" list. In fact, I doubt it would make number fifty-two. If Kenji wasn't crying or whining, then Misao was whining. She made it quite obvious that she did not want to be on this trip. I believed she, more than anyone else in our motley crew, deserved to make this trip. After all, it was her wish that had me acting so strangely. During the last two days of us traveling, I found myself becoming less and less in control of my actions. Everyone in the group found it as horrifying as I did. But it was on the morning of the third day, that the wish would change everything in my life.
I had been the first to awaken. My eyes were heavy, and my back ached. Sleeping on the ground for three nights straight was starting to take its toll. I would have to sleep in a bed soon before my back pained me too much. Normally, the pain wouldn't bother me, as I had trained myself to block out the pain, but without my inner walls to do that, the pain stuck its tongue in my face. I looked over to the Battousai and his family, glaring slightly. He had fallen "asleep" with a smile on his face. "Asleep" meant he was in a light state of sleep, which I had also had become a victim of, where he could hear snails crawl. His old habits from the Bakumatsu no Doran had apparently never subsided. I knew everything that was going on around the woods at all times. Drove me mad. My sleep usually was a deep sleep, dangerous, yes- but I had the ability to awaken if any dangerous noises echoed. The Battousai was just paranoid.
My first instinct was to cook breakfast. Cooking was not one of my strong points. In fact, the last time that I had cooked, I was thirteen and Misao three, and the Aoi-ya had almost burned to the ground. Misao thought it was hilarious. I was grounded for a week. Okon and Omasu would not allow me near any cooking utensils after that. Nevertheless, I wanted to cook. Silently, I unpacked a pan from the Battousai's bag, along with some vegetables that were in there as well. I lit a small fire and began to fry some vegetables.
To be honest, even with the Battousai persona's help, I still didn't know what I was doing.
The pan soon emitted a thick, black smoke.
Panicking, I took the pan up in my hand, its intense heat burning against my hand. I let out a curse under my breath and broke into a dash for the woods. As I left our small camp, I tripped over Misao, who let out a loud moan. Great. Not only had I started a small fire while trying to cook, I had now awoken Misao, who would no doubt poke fun at my attempt. Misao was a wonderful cook, even when she was younger, and she would often boast of her talents to me.
I ignored the waking Misao and continued on my way, away from the camp, the pan now full of flames. Damn, damn, damn, damn, I thought to myself, trying to find a spring, a river, anything that I could put the pan into to extinguish the fire. Finally, I came across a small pond. I threw the pan into the pond, not even caring about saving it. It was only after the loud splash did I realize that I had just thrown the Battousai's pan into the pond, which was probably the only one their family owned.
Grumbling under my breath, I took off my purple gi and discarded it. The morning's brisk breeze swept against my chest, filling me with chills. I shivered as I looked to the green pond. Moss was floating around it, along with Kami-sama knows what else. Taking a deep breath, I dove into the pond, in search of the cursed pan.
Moments later, I emerged. Covered in green moss, filth and whatever could have possibly lurking in the foul pond, with the Battousai's pan in hand. Misao was standing at the bank of the pond, my gi in hand, and laughing uncontrollably. It seemed as if my luck was only getting worse.
"A-Aoshi-sama..." she said in-between chuckles, "What on earth were you doing?"
I glared at her, swiping my gi from her. "I tried to cook," I hissed angrily. I dropped the pan to the ground and snapped the gi loudly before putting it back on. Running my hands through my hair, I let out a loud sigh, "I swear- your wish will be the end of sessha, Misao-dono." Letting out a strangled yell, I stomped on the ground in anger. I had said 'sessha' again-- something I had restrained myself from saying since the night that Misao and I had... almost consumed our love for one another.
She let out another giggle, only angering me further. Chancing a glance at my glare, she cleared her throat, "S..sorry." Her smile turned warm, as she looked at me with adoring eyes. I felt my heart sink. She looked so angelic, even so early in the morning. It was times like this that I knew why I had fallen in love with Misao, no matter how hard I tried not to. Still laughing lightly, she brushed off some moss that was on the edge of my shoulder, "You're a mess, Aoshi-sama."
I couldn't help but stare. No matter how hard I tried to snap myself out of my daze, I couldn't. Suddenly, all of the anger that was bottled up inside of me was released as she touched me. It was as if she just hit the right spot, and all of my frustration leaked out from the hole she made with her touch. I grabbed her hand gently, and looked into her eyes. Her eyes grew wide, staring at me with curiosity, as she was not exactly sure of what I was doing. A small smile came to my face as I said, "Don't worry about the moss, de gozaru." So suave, I know. Blame the Battousai, not me. Perhaps if it were me in control, I would have said something like, 'Do you know you look absolutely stunning right now?'
... Perhaps it was a good thing I hadn't. That would have sounded incredibly stupid.
With another smile, Misao kneeled down to the pan I had dropped. "You know you can't cook, Aoshi-sama... I doubt even Himura's persona could help you cook something eatable."
Grimacing, I took the pan back in my hand. "I couldn't help it," I tried to explain. "I had the urge to..." I looked at her, feeling defeated. "Cook." If I had less of an ego, I would have asked her to help me, but as it was I already looked like a fool. Asking for help would have only made it worse.
"My poor Aoshi-sama..." Misao ran her hand across my cheek lovingly. "Having to go through so much for the sake of cooking."
"It's your fault, Misao-dono."
Her hand made its way to my shoulder, swiping off more moss. "Perhaps," she said casually. A devilish grin came across her face, "I think you were asking for it though."
"And I think you're asking to be thrown into the pond, de gozaru."
It was only a few moments before Misao emerged from the pond again, in a fiery rage. If someone had told me that the water steamed off of her because she was so angry, I would have believed them.
A sheepish grin crossed my face as I tried to look innocent of the crime. I winced as a huge piece of green gunk fell from the top of Misao's head to the ground. "... Sorry Misao-do-"
A shuriken passed by my ear.
She was on top of me before I could realize what was happening. She was using the sheer amount of her anger as a force- dangerous, as I had learned when I was trying to fight the Battousai. Taking the sides of my gi in her hands, she threw me to the ground. "STOP CALLING ME THAT!" she shouted. Jumping atop of me, she slowly lowered her head to mine, in the way a tiger would attack a helpless gazelle.
Sure, I could have done something, but I wanted to see what she was up to.
.... and if you believe that, then I'm a geisha.
"The next time you call me that," she warned in a harsh whisper as she raised a shuriken to my face, "You're going to regret it, Aoshi-sama." Her eyes were glowing with madness. Silently, she dared me to call her name as another blob of green fell from her shoulder to my cheek.
I stared at her for a few moments, thinking of how I got into this mess. After all, this was her wish, not mine. My first thought was to tell her that everything was entirely her fault that I was acting like this. The glint in her eyes made me consider another option. If I had taken this moment to tell her that, she would have almost definitely made sure that we could never have children. Instead, I would take the husband-ly approach. "Misao-do-"
She stabbed the shuriken into the ground next to my head. "Stop!" she commanded. Letting out a scream of frustration she got off of me and jumped to her feet. "This is driving me crazy!" she shouted, putting her hands against her ears.
I slowly got up from the ground, glaring at my wife. "You're sick of this, Misao-dono? You're sick?" I stomped over to her, pulling her hands off of her ears with a very strong grip. How could she be so selfish about this? It was all her fault that everything had turned out the way it had.
No... not her fault. It was the damn necklace's fault. Its jade stones caught my eye as Misao struggled under my grip. With my free hand, I tore the necklace off of Misao's neck and let go of Misao. She fell to the ground, landing on her side like her ninja skills had trained her to do.
"What are you doing, Aoshi-sama?" She asked, slightly scared. Perhaps she thought since I was acting like the Battousai I wouldn't retaliate against her threats. Apparently, she hadn't seen him at his frightening moments. "That was the gift Himura, Kaoru-san and Kenji-kun gave me!"
I shot her a glare. "And it's the same gift that's making me act the way that you find so annoying, de gozaru. It's your fault for wishing something so careless, and this piece of metal's fault for granting it!" The anger surged within me. Was this the Battousai coming out? I strained myself, trying to calm down before I did something I regretted. I looked to Misao, the terrified look in her face. My hands dropped to my sides. The anger had subsided.
Something warm wrapped around me. Before I realized it, Misao had wrapped her arms around me. She was crying. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she muttered as she rubbed her head against my stomach. I looked down to her, putting one of my hands on her head, as the other hand dropped the necklace to the ground. "I want the old Aoshi-sama back... I love that Aoshi-sama... I want the man that I've dreamed about since childhood..."
"Misao-dono..." I whispered, lowering my head to her.
She stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around my neck to help her to my face. Her nose touched mine, as a tear streamed down her face. "I'm sorry..." she whispered back. And then she leaned in and kissed me. Moaning in desire, I pushed my tongue into her mouth. I wanted to taste her, right at that moment. The fact that she really did love me for the man that I truly was made me so... happy, to put it simply.
I wasn't the only one who longed for this. Misao moaned loudly, as she too snuck her tongue into my mouth. She pulled down on me, trying not to lose her balance. And as we stood there kissing, struggling under our extreme difference of our heights, I became aware of how complete Misao made me. I needed nothing else. Meditation, fighting, nothing compared the wholeness that I experienced at that moment.
Misao pulled away from me, smiling, but then paused. We both heard it. A loud CRACK. Slowly, she lifted up her foot to reveal the necklace, broken in half. I wished I had thought of that sooner. Perhaps, before Misao had made that stupid wish of hers. She looked to me and then to the necklace. "What does this mean?" she asked more to herself than to me.
"It means that you stepped on the necklace," I blandly observed. She hit me hard in the ribs.
Kneeling down to the necklace, Misao picked it up from the ground gingerly. "Does this mean..." she looked back up to me, "That you're going to be stuck like Himura now? Does this mean we can't undo the spell?" She stood up quickly, pulling on my gi, "Do you feel any different, Aoshi-sama?"
To be honest, I didn't. I could have lied and told her that I felt that the Battousai persona had left me; that I felt just like my own self again and there was nothing to worry about. But I would probably blotch it all up with saying 'Misao-dono' and then the jig would be up. I looked to her with regret. I shook my head, "No, I..."
Suddenly my heartbeat echoed in my ears, just like it had when Misao had made the wish. I heard Misao in the distance, saying something to me as she wrapped one of her arms around my back. I became feverish, as pain shot through my body. Everything was the same as before. The world grew dark, and the last thing I saw was Misao hovering me, looking worried. I smiled weakly at her, just before I let the darkness overtake me.
"But Kenji doesn't want to leave Ne-san!" The toddler wrapped his arms around Misao's neck, expressing his distaste in having to leave. It had been a day since we had arrived back in Kyoto. After I had passed out in the woods, Battousai and his wife lugged me back to the Aoi-ya, leaving Misao to tend to Kenji, much to her joy. The look on her face as Kenji began to wail that he didn't want to go back to Tokyo was priceless. Her eyes had a desire burning in them, happy that the child didn't want to leave. I was sure that she'd bring the subject of children up as soon as the Himuras left.
The Battousai smiled up at me, with a knowing look. He saw the same thing I had. Half-laughing, he whispered, "I think you'd make a good father, Aoshi."
I gave him the glare of death, replying with "Shut up, Battousai."
Yes, yes. I had been cured of the curse and was now free to call the Battousai whatever I pleased. In fact, I contemplated calling him worse names at that moment, but not in front of Kenji.
Letting out another chuckle, the Battousai tapped me on my back, "It's good to have you acting back to normal, Aoshi. I was starting to worry about you, de gozaru."
Rubbing my hand against my head, I let out a small sigh, "I still worry about you, Battousai. You have some serious issues that I'm glad I don't have to deal with anymore." Like your sex drive, I added silently, you horny pervert.
Misao had finally managed to put Kenji into Kaoru's arms. He was still crying, but at least they could now begin their journey. Smiling, Misao gave Kaoru a hug, "Thank you for visiting us." She stole a look over at me and added, "And making our lives interesting for a few days."
"No problem," Kaoru giggled, nuzzling her head against Kenji's. "You will write to us soon, won't you Misao-chan? And you two must come visit Tokyo again."
Nodding, Misao rubbed the top of Kenji's head, messing up the child's orange hair. "Of course. We'll come visit real soon!"
We waved goodbye to the family, watching them disappear over the horizon as the morning sunlight beat down on us. After they were gone, I looked down to Misao and wrapped my right arm around her, bringing her in close. "I can't tell you how glad I am that's over, Aoshi-sama," Misao said, letting out a loud chortle.
I raised an eyebrow, "Aoshi-sama?" An amused smile came to my lips. "Didn't you say you were going to stop calling me that when I stopped calling you Misao-dono, Misao?" I asked, teasing her.
Surprised, she blinked as she looked up at me. "You remember that?" she asked. "I was just joking! You'll always be Aoshi-sama."
And be annoyed for the rest of my life? I really hated that she called me that- I had ever since my return to the Aoi-ya. Of course, I had never expressed this annoyance because, well, I used to be the stupid silent type. The experience with the Battousai's persona had taught me to act differently. "Fine, then you'll stay Misao-dono," I replied devilishly.
She looked up at me with a look of pure disgust. "Fine," she snapped back. "Aoshi, okay? Aoshi." Not pleased with this, she took a few steps away from me, looking to the street where the Battousai's family had disappeared. "You know," she mused, "You got off really easy, considering."
"How so?" I asked, raising my eyebrow again. Acting the exact opposite as I normally did was getting off easy? I looked at my wife like she was insane.
A mischievous grin formed on her lips. "Well," she said trying to be clever, "You could have also ended up saying 'oro' every three seconds, just like Himura does." She broke into giggles, looking at me as if daring to say something.
So she still found the whole thing amusing, eh?
I looked to her and blinked. "Oro?"
Her laughter cut off as her face dropped. The look of horror that she had given me when she happened upon me doing laundry returned to her face.
I smiled, "Got you!"
"OHHHH!" Misao growled, stomping back into the Aoi-ya. "You're so mean! I hate you Aoshi-sama!"
My smile only grew larger as I watched her slam the door shut to the restaurant. I let out a small laugh and looked back to the door. "Yeah, I love you too, Misao-dono."
HAHAA! It's done. It's cheesy. It's pointless. And I love it. Aoshi-chan is such a nasty little pervert. He wants sex. Hehe, yeah he does, and so does Misao. I was thinking of putting a lemon scene in this, but then I decided against it. There were enough sex jokes throughout this, didn't need anymore. Eventually I'll make the pointless smut oneshot where I'll get to write the lemon with them. Yeah, one day. Hope everyone enjoyed this silly little thing. It just goes to prove that a bad idea can produce...
... a bad fic XP
Thanks to everyone on and the amml who's left reviews. You guys are awesome!
And so ends Rurouni Kenshin's "As You Wish..."
This fiction was written for entertainment purposes only. The characters of Rurouni Kenshin belong to Watsuki-san. Standard disclaimers apply.