You all already know The Twiligt Saga and all references from such stories belong to Stephenie Meyer
Thanks to this story's beta-chynadollars
Eros and Himeros
It had been a long and draining day. The emotions were like a down pour soaking me. Anger. Confusion. Shame. Guilt. It was all there, stock pilled in the Cullen Mansion . I didn't know how much more I was going to be able to take before I had no choice but to bolt, but I couldn't do that, that guilt and that shame, some of it belonged to my reason for existing and I would never leave him to bare this all alone.
Edward's emotions over the last year and a half had been a roller coaster. Not only did he find his singer, and fought desperately not to drain her dry, but his sister of sorts ask him to keep an eye on her because the singer turns out to be her mate. Edward thinks he falls in love with her, only to discover it's not passion he feels but a sibling bond to protect. Hell even I was having a hard time trying to decipher that one! I started to get nervous, and maybe a little jealous, when he would stay nights with her; leaving me here alone. That nightly habit pretty much stopped when Bella moved in with us and I was eternally thankful. Though I had Edward back at night, we had to curb certain bedtime activities to keep up the charade with Alice. I didn't take it out on Bella; for the most part she was unsuspecting of what was taking place around her. Her little jab about Edward spending nights in her bed did sting worst than vampire venom and I was ready to take her down right then and there. In the end we both won; I had Edward and always would have him. Bella was discovering her feeling for Alice ran deeper and she wouldn't find a better mate than Alice. Bella and Alice were without a doubt heading down a road filled with love and devotion; just as the rest of us shared with our own mates.
I lay in Edward's arms as he stretches out on the couch. We watched as Alice transverse the stairs to finally explain the madness to Bella. His right leg lies across the length of the seat while his left foot sits flat on the floor. I nestle in between him. We quietly watched some old show called "Angel" with Emmett and Rosalie. Thank god we didn't get that ugly when we hunt! We desperately try not to listen to Alice and Bella's conversation that is taking place directly above us. I also try to block out all the left over energy in the room, but there is one I absorb willingly. I can feel Edward's growing need pressed into my back as he strokes my hair between his long seductive fingers. The lust and desire was rolling off him in increasing waves. His want, mixed with the tantalizing feeling of his hand, was forcing me to contain the growl and moan rumbling in my chest. I concentrate on balling up all my own want and desire and sending them directly back to Edward.
It had become a torturous game Edward and I began to play with each other. He would flood me with so much of his lust I would all most stain my pants. But I gave as good as I got. I would think of every night we shared pressed into each other's muscular frames, grabbing forcibly at hair and skin, reaching for new climaxes. I would even throw in fantasies including his precious piano, or some faceless man pressed between our two bodies as he brought us both to immense pleasure. Those were usually the ones that sent him flying from the room, with me flung over his shoulder.
Tonight was not the night to play that game. I wanted Edward and for the first time in over six months I was going to be able to take him in our bed. If Edward was paying attention he would have heard my thoughts, but he was concentrating too hard on the television.
I stood up slowly, bringing Edward up with me. He didn't question me. His emotions were still flying on lust and desire, yet there was something else there beneath it all. As we climbed the stairs at a slow pace to our room on the third floor I concentrated solely on the feelings coming from him. I was looking forward to physically connecting with Edward, yet his emotions were telling me we needed to talk first. My assumption was correct as we walked into our long forgotten shared room and I closed the door behind us. Edward went straight to our ceiling-to-floor balcony door, keeping his back to me. The lust and desire immediately fell away leaving only the feeling of disgust, self hatred, and shame. The flood was so intense I stumbled back, struggling to focus on the heaviness of it all. All I could do was mentally ask him why.
"You should know why Jasper. I pretty much abandon you for over a year. I married someone else. I am not worthy of you and your goodness." Edward never turned to face me. His projections were growing stronger and I struggled to answer him. I could only address him in my thoughts.
"Edward, you have to control yourself. Your shame is too much for me to bare. It's breaking my heart."
"See! I even hurt you when I am not trying. You should leave me." Edward threw his hands up in frustration.
Though I could barely stand I wouldn't have left him to save my own life. I dug deep down past the onslaught of emotions he was sending for my own weapon. I took one deep breath and like a cannon firing I sent out respect, happiness, desire, lust and love, successfully sending them all to my wounded heart standing before me. I could feel his guilt let up and my ability to move and breathe return to me. Edward turned and smiled but I knew it was not 100% genuine. I was doing that to him. I wanted to see his crocked smile. I closed the distance between us, taking him in my arms. I let up on my despair antidote and instantly that smile was done. His guilt and shame returned, but it was not as powerful.
"Jasper," I cut Edward off.
"Don't darlin'! You are my reason for believing in love and all that is good. I know we had a rocky year but we are stronger and closer. You may have stood at the altar with Bella but you did not marry her." I lifted Edward's chin with my finger. "You are mine Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and nothing will ever change that."
"I felt horrible when Bella threw up in your face how much time I spent with her. I will never get past that. I hurt you so much."
I wasn't going to lie to him, that shit did hurt, but I was ready to move past this and start our lives together again, fresh.
"Bella was just angry, and she had every right to be. I know I am asking my favorite masochist to go against his nature, but Edward it's time to move past this. We can start all over."
Edward looked at my questioningly. I stepped out of his arms and extended my hand.
"Well hello there, sugar! I am Jasper Allen Whitlock a vegetarian vampire and I find you to be the sexist man alive." Edward finally gave me the smile I had been looking for all day.
"Hello. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. I happen to be a vegetarian as well. Please to meet you Jasper. You are quite delectable yourself," Edward said as he took my hand in his and pulled me to his body.
Edward eyes were dark as lust could make them, I could see the animal behind them. The sight made my spine tingle with anticipation. Edward pulled me flush to his body, slowly leaning forward towards me as if he was silently asking for permission to kiss me. Permission granted.
Our lips slowly moved on each other, leaving quick pecks until the need bouncing between us grew beyond control. Edward's sweet tongue slowly slid into my open and waiting mouth, welcoming him. As our muscles massaged each other, tasting each other's flavor his hand found purchase in my waves, as my hands desperately pulled him closer by his hips. We reluctantly came up for uneasy breath.
"I love you, Edward"
"I will always love you, Jasper."
"Now, I do believe we have about a year and a half to make up for." I quickly removed Edward's polo shirt and started working on his jeans, never taking my eyes away from his. I pushed his pants down the roundness that is his gorgeous ass, palming the flesh as I pulled him closer and back to my waiting lips.
Lost in the distraction that is Edward's delectable taste, the feel of his hands tangled in my hair and searching my skin and his moans and whimpers urging on my already painfully hard cock, I didn't recall my own clothing being torn away. The weight of the denim was replaced with Edward's body. Edward's soft kisses trailed my body replacing my soft cotton T-shirt.
"That feels fantastic. I want you now, Edward."
My request was met with a deep growl-like response as we fell onto the bed, Edward on top of my waiting body. Our pulsing need rubbing against each other starting the friction we both needed and wanted. Lips were met with more force and clasped hands squeezed. Animals had been released in that unsuspecting room, as Edward and I laid claim to what was rightfully ours. Our love and pure passion no longer hidden behind the elaborate story Alice created.
"Fuck, Jasper! Take me."
Making love required foreplay. Preparation. Tantalizing teasing. This was not making love. While there was no place I rather been than in his loving embrace, tonight was about raw need. I could feel the same desire rolling from him as he picked the thoughts out of my head.
I pulled Edward's legs beneath him, leaving him on his knees as I penetrated his unprepared body. I took his tightness slow until I was fully seethed in his hot center. I couldn't move. One move or one breath and I would have ended our session just when it was beginning. His body was ready to milk me for all I had. Not only did I want to savor Edward but I didn't want to hurt him. I watched as his face transformed from shock, to pain, to pleasure. After what felt like an eternity of stillness, he was finally ready.
I sat up on the bed leaving Edward straddling my lap. We couldn't get any closer than physics would allow as we struggled to occupy the same space. Edward took shallow breaths as he wrapped his arms around my neck, bringing his hands to the nape of my hair. I placed my hand on each of his hips to steady his position. Need covered our body but love was in his eyes.
"Take me Jasper. Let me show you I am yours. You can have me however you want." Edward was pleading. He needed to know I still cherished him as my own, that the last year and half did not ruin us.
I had no words for him. I let my touches, the feel of my skin, and my thoughts of incomparable companionship soothe him. He had to hear how much I still loved and wanted him. Nothing had changed.
I began circling my hips below him as I captured his lips in mine. Edward had adjusted to the sudden fullness, but he was still wrapped tightly round me. Each movement, no matter how light was increasing that pull in the bottom of my stomach, working on my upcoming release. As the feelings grew stronger, kisses grew deeper, tongues dashing in and out of mouths as moans and swears escaped. I pulled Edward's legs up into my arms, allowing them to drape across the folds of my forearm. I drove deeper and deeper into his body. We both shuttered as I hit his prostate with each stroke.
"Shit! Edward," I screamed. I could feel the monster break free of his cage and close his razor sharp teeth into my lover's exposed neck. Very vampire-ish!
Maybe it was my own self consciousness about my scars, or maybe it was because I only recently felt a threat to Edward and mine's relationship, but prior to that night I never felt the need to mark Edward. Yet, as I pumped my venom into his body, sealing the wound with my tongue, I felt closer to him than I ever had before. It was Carlisle's venom that changed him but mine that claimed him. He would bare the symbol of our union for his eternity. The monster in me ravished in the thought, yet the husband, friend, and emo in me was worried about the pain.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I didn't think you would ever mark me." Edward spoke through heavy breaths, but I could feel the static energy rolling off of him.
"You're happy? That should have hurt like hell. I am so sorry, darlin'."
"No! Don't be. I want everyone to know I am with you. I wear your ring. I occasionally carry your name," we both laughed, "and now I proudly carry your mark. I am more than happy to be eternally yours."
I was speechless . . . and blissful. I learned to curb my vampire possessiveness long ago over the fifty plus years we had been together, and yet Edward wanted me to be just that with him.
I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward's lips on my own neck as he pinched my nipples between his hands. Pain was so invigorating. It was then I noticed I was till deep inside of my lover, the realization causing me to grow harder, yet again.
"Uumm . . . remind me to tell Bella that 'the general' is not so little." I loved it when Edward was so crass.
"Don't worry. Bella will get her payback. Battle training may get a little hairy for her."
We paused our playful banter to enjoy the feel of just being skin-to-skin.
"Make love to me Jasper," Edward said already controlling the movements of our joined bodies.
"Everyday for eternity," I said as the sensation took over me.
~The New Beginning~
A/N: You know Eros, the Greek god of love as his Latin name, Cupid, and Hmeros is one of his compaions meaning Longing
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