"You're… cleaning," Moist observed. However, his observation was less of a statement and more of a question. "Wow. That's great. This place hasn't been very clean since you got into the ELE."
"We're having company, okay?" I told him. I hadn't had anyone visit me since I got into the ELE. The only person who really visits anyway is Moist.
"Oh. Well do you want me to go?" he asked. Under normal circumstances, I would love to entertain my guests without Moist tagging along. The guy was a great friend and all, but sometimes he was just… weird. This was a special case though. I wasn't entertaining a guest, I was plotting. I wasn't with just any regular joe, I was with a fellow ELE member (and I've noticed that if things don't go their way they tend to get a little violent). It wasn't a man, it was a woman. And that's probably what unnerved me the most.
"You can stay, man," I said, as I threw last month's mail away. Moist's face broke into a small smile. "Oh, and when you sit on the couch, don't forget the towel," I reminded him. I don't think that Nefarious thought much of my story yesterday. She doesn't know who Moist is, so she probably thinks I'm a psychopath with an imaginary friend. The psychopath part is okay.
Moist sighed and went to go find a towel. I walked over to my desk. Something crunched under my foot. I stopped and picked up what used to be a very dusty picture. Now it was dusty and very cracked. Penny.
I hadn't really thought about her much since my ELE days. I mean, sure she popped into my head every once and a while. Okay, I thought about her all the time. I wasn't really sure if I was mad at her or if I still loved her. She was sweet. She got me into the League. But she dated my arch-nemesis. She told me that everything would be okay, because Captain Hammer would save us. She actually trusted that pathetic buffoon.
Still, regardless of my current uncertainty, she is-was- the girl of my dreams. I saw her every Wednesday and Thursday. There towards the end, we had some really nice verbal connection. She liked frozen yogurt. She liked the feel of warm clothes in her hand. She liked to help other people. She failed to recognize a cheesy douchebag when she saw one. We were going to rule the world together. If things had turned out differently, anyway.
I lost track of time, staring at Penny. It was as though my freeze ray was acting on the whole world, and I was free to think about Penny for a while. It was nice.
"Who is she?" asked a voice from behind me. Nefarious. I quickly put the picture face down on my desk.
"Penny," I said, quietly. I cleared my throat, which just made the situation a little more awkward.
"Oh, that's Captain Hammer's girlfriend, isn't it? The one who got you your big break," she recalled. She was silent, pondering for a second. "Did you- Oh, my God!" she said when she realized what was going on. Well, I think she realized what was going on.
"Yeah," was all I could respond. Nefarious was probably judging me right now. As a loser who by some luck made it into the ELE, and has a crush on the girl he killed to get in. Pathetic. And it really was, but for some reason, I couldn't help it.
"How did you know each other?" she asked, gently.
"Laundromat," I replied. "Wednesdays and Thursdays. She knew me as Billy." Billy. He was the one that missed Penny, not me.
"You miss her, don't you?" she asked. I didn't reply. "I know how you feel," she sighed. "Your alter-ego always gets in the way, and you really need someone to talk to. But, at the same time, you don't want to feel like a complete dork by pining over them. Because that's not what evil people do."
She had pretty much voiced everything I had been thinking in the past few minutes, which was remarkable. I turned to her. I wondered how she knew so much about that.
"Captain Hammer," she responded quickly. "He was a lot different before you met him." She paused. "Speaking of such, we should probably get started."
"Right," I agreed. I was glad of the subject change. It was a weird atmosphere when you had to really evil guys-well one guy and one girl-and they were talking about really emotional things.
"But, keep your head up, Billy buddy," Nefarious said as she pulled out draft paper from her belt. "Things are about to get a lot better."