Hi! Quick Disclaimer: While it would be awesome to own Kotor, that honor belongs to Bioware and Lucas Arts. *sigh* Anyway, my first try at a dark Revan fic…or any kotor fic, really, so tell me what you loved or hated about it! I took a little liberty with canon…but I hope you still like it!

Darth Revan's second coming

(a journal entry)

The Force had warned me not to go into that temple. It had whispered of darkness, of change…of loss. But, me being me, I ignored it, until it was drowned out by the seductive whispers of the temple. The entire place reeked of the Dark Side…it was glorious. But I fought, I drew strength from my companions, the doddering old fool and ridiculous cat lady. I had convinced myself that they were important to me, that I loved and needed them. I thought they were my family.

So I resisted the call of the dark side, all the way through the catacombs, up to the temple top. The Force must have been screaming, but all I heard was a low whisper warning of great betrayal. I sensed darkness ahead, and had fought back my fear. Like a good little pawn. Then my world changed.

Bastila…the woman I had thought of as my sister, my closest friend, stood there, a cold smirk on her too-pale face. I realized of course what had happened. She had embraced the dark side, tempted by the taint within our bond. But the cat-lady was very slow. She had urged Bastila to 'escape.' Little fool.

We all exchanged some words and crossed blades. Then, realizing my power, Bastila tried to get me to embrace my heritage, my nature . I refused, the programming of the Council keeping me firm. Then she said the words that shattered me, shattered all illusions of who I was.

"You think I don't know who keeps you true to the Light? The noble, heroic Captain Carth Onasi, savior of babies and ex-Sith Lords alike!" She sneered the name, and let loose a cold laugh. "What makes you think he could love you? The woman who tore down his home world, who destroyed his family…I well remember the disgust and hatred on his face when he found out your true identity, Revan! You think he can just forgive you all of this? Ha!" She had looked at me with such pity that she almost looked like the old Bastila.

I had glared at her, my darkness rising. "He loves me!" I growled, unaware at the time of the desperation in my voice. She laughed at me again.

"Really now? Then explain this!" She had pulled out a holorecorder, and an image of Carth popped up. He was in the Ebon Hawk's cockpit, arming himself. I thought Bastila mad. Did she really think that a two-bit forgery would sway me in the least? Then she smirked, and turned up the audio after saying, "Did I mention this was being recorded as we speak?" I paid more attention to the recording.

Carth sighed and flipped on a communicator and an image of Admiral Dodonna popped up. He stood at attention.

"At ease, Captain. The Jedi Council has informed of what really happened to Revan, and while I am not pleased, with you there, maybe the situation is not as dire as we thought. Where is Revan now?"

"She is away disabling the disruptor field around the Star Forge, ma'am," he replied staunchly.

"Good. When she returns, your orders are to execute her on the spot. Are we clear, Captain?"

Carth didn't look stunned, merely confused. "With all due respect, Admiral, what about Malak? As much as I hate to say it, she is the only one capable of defeating him. I thought the plan was to execute her publicly after Malak was dead?"

I didn't listen to the rest of the conversation. I had been too busy listening to the sound of my heart and soul breaking. It had been an odd noise to say the least. Halfway between a sob and a scream. Then the familiar ice crept in as I watched the love of my life, my salvation, agree to execute me on sight, salute, and turn off the communicator, at the same time as Bastila switched of the recording. Without warning I broke into her mind, checking to see if it was false. It wasn't.

Finally, fate had its way with me. I gave into the dark side, into my pain and rage, letting the power sooth me. I felt my eyes turn yellow, my flesh pale, my aura darken. Retreating from Bastila's mind, I looked at her.

"Kneel," I commanded in my coldest voice, "for the Dark Lord has returned." I felt my companions' shock behind me. The cat tried to reason with me.

"No, Revan, please, I beg of you! Turn away from this path! It can lead only to destruction!" Her eyes were filled with tears. I had smiled cruelly and lifted her into the air, choking her with the Force.

"I am Dark Lord of the Sith, you fool. What do you think I want?" Carelessly I tossed her over the edge of the temple, still alive, to plummet to ground nearly a thousand kilometers below. I turned to the old man. "Will you kneel before me?"

He drew his lightsaber, shaking his head slowly. "I'm too old to kneel, don' cha know?" Activating my blade, I snarled at him. "Then you will die!"

We fought briefly, but just as I had him pinned and was about to strike the killing blow, he laughed. Well, it was more like a chuckle, but I was still infuriated…and curious. "Why do you laugh in the face of death?" I asked. He chuckled again.

"Just…the idea…of the noble…Jedi…Kelsie…Thekla….brought down….by a…single….pilot!"

I shrieked my rage, stabbing him, not through the throat as I had intended, but in the stomach. Hauling his still living body up, I had snarled in his face. "You shall suffer horribly for that, Bindo!" I tossed him at Bastila, who caught him and held him. "Take him to the torture chambers, slap one of those new force restraints on him, and then heal him. I want him healthy for a little fun after this is all over."

"As you wish, my Master."

"So tell me, Kelsie," Jolee shouted as Bastila led him away. "How does it feel to know that you just threw away the only family you ever had?"

His words hurt some small part of me, the part of me that remained Kelsie Thekla, Padawan of the Jedi, and I didn't try to stop the tear that ran down my face.

I killed them all that day. I killed Zaalbar first, then…then Mission. Canderous followed me, but was killed on the Star Forge. The only death I took any small amount of pleasure in was Carth's. Traitorous bastard. Bastila I killed a few months into my reign as Dark Lord when she foolishly thought to challenge me. I have a new apprentice now, one far less powerful but far more obedient. Jolee I kept alive and tortured until one of my underlings had a fit of mercy and killed him. The underling was killed in retribution.

In all of this I have learned many lessons, but two stand out the most. Love is for weak fools and can only bring misery, and that you must trust only in yourself. So says Revan, Dark Lord of the Sith.