A/N: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all characters therein. This is an all human/alternate universe and history/non canon story. All characters are OOC and in this story Renee left but did not take Bella with her. 22 year old Bella and Quil have been friends ever since they met at their first job when they were 16, Six years later a lot has changed but that is still the same. This story contains explicit language, drinking and drug use, and will have lemons later on. I might not update this story very often because my Bella/Sam story Getting Back to Myself is my first priority so until that's finished this story is second but both will be worked on.

**Quil POV Thanksgiving night around 8:30**

I was talking to Bells on instant messenger on my laptop chilling after having eaten Thanksgiving dinner with my family.

Bells913: Hey do you want to come to Jared's party with me tonight? It's the annual Thanksgiving Bash and I kind of need a Designated Dave because I've already been drinking lol. Dad picked up a bottle of vanilla vodka for me and I've been making nilla pepsi's all afternoon

QAteara2: I guess it's a good thing my name isn't Dave then.. nah, just kidding, you know I don't mind being your designated driver. I'd love to go to the party, when should I pick you up?

Bells913: Umm around 9:30. He said it's going to run really late and to just show up between 9 and 10.

QAteara2: Sounds good, I'll give you a call when I'm in your drive.

I logged off and went to take a shower and get changed to go out. Bells had been one of my best friends for about 6 years now; we first met when we both had our first jobs at my parents' grocery store. Back then she had been dating some asshole named Edward Cullen.

Apparently he was really overbearing and possessive, she had never been allowed to hang out with me back then, any time I asked if she wanted to she would say she already had plans with him. She gave me her screen name and we started talking that way. He didn't like that either but she said it was easier to get around his craziness when it wasn't something that entailed her leaving the house.

They had been together for a year at that point and would go on to stay together for another 2. During that time we never hung out, we saw each other at work and we talked every day online. Sometimes we would talk for hours our conversations would span for days as we went about our lives.

She finally broke up with him about a month after her 18th birthday telling him that she couldn't stand not being able to associate freely with her male friends and the fact that he had rules for all aspects of her life.

2 months later she started dating Paul and practically disappeared. I would see her at work but she had stopped having long involved conversations with me, we still talked every day online at some point or another but not anywhere near the epic conversations that we used to have. I missed her but went on with my life. I went to school, dated around, and basically man whored and hung out with my pack of friends.

Paul consumed her whole life, she moved in with him and spent her time either working full time at the store, or waiting on him hand and foot. I know everyone on the res thought they'd end up getting married or having a kid but thankfully that never happened. Shortly after her 20th birthday party she dumped him and moved back home to Charlie.

I remember when she messaged me after the breakup. She had been so depressed, Paul had proved not much better than Edward and she had no friends left. She apologized for not being around and told me that she hoped that now that she was single and in control of her own life that maybe we could actually hang out socially instead of having an online friendship the way we had been for the last 4 years.

I took it upon myself to start bringing her out of her relationship-induced shell. She was a 20yr old woman who hadn't been single for more than 2 months in the last 5 years, and I was practically the only friend she had left.

For the next 2 years we were inseparable, we both eventually got new jobs so we didn't work together anymore, but I introduced her to my friends and their girlfriends and she hit it off well with all of them. Her dad kind of assumed that we were dating but didn't say anything. He generally stayed out of her life and she did the same for him.

In all the years that she had worked at the store she had never met my parents, they never came in on the evening shift and she was never in La Push unless she was working or with Paul. Even when she lived in La Push she never went out into it Paul preferred to hang out at home so that's what they did.

It probably wouldn't have made a difference; my father and grandfather hadn't even wanted to hire her because of the fact that she wasn't Quileute, my mother ended up winning that argument though. The men in my family were so against interracial anything that even when we started hanging out consistently I wouldn't bring her to mine, we went to hers or over to one of the guys.

The more we hung out the more things seemed to change between us. We were always touching, when we would chill at her house we would watch movies or TV in her room and she would snuggle up next to me on her bed. Neither of us had dated at all in the last 2 years and I guess we did it for the feeling of closeness.

For Bella not dating was her choice, she wasn't interested in dating after having been stuck in controlling relationships for the majority of her teens. She just wanted to be free to do what she wanted when she wanted and with whomever she wanted without having to answer to anyone. For me it was just that I really didn't want anyone that I'd already been with. Most of the girls in La Push I had either already hooked up with or had no interest in, and don't even get me started on the bitches from Forks.

I finished changing and slipped my shoes on before heading out the door to pick up Bells.

**Bella POV**

Fuck I'm running late, Quil was going to be here in 20 minutes and I was only just finishing my hair. I was in beauty school and on one of our free days my friend in class had dyed my hair for me, it was black from the roots to my chin and from there I double bleached it and then used a semi permanent bright blue/purple color.

It was pretty rough, the bleaching had been really tough on it and the dye could only repair it so much. It was a twice-weekly endeavor to keep it looking fresh but when it was vibrant and up it looked amazing. I flat ironed it with a smoothing gel and put it up in a high ponytail, all that hung down was bright blue/purple with a little bit of black by the elastic.

I pulled on a pair of opaque black tights and slid my dark green mini skirt on over them. I grabbed a black bra out of my drawer and put it on and then pulled a hot pink scoop v neck t-shirt over it. I was just finishing lacing up my black combat boots when my cell rang.

I answered, "Hey Quil, you here?"

He says, "yup, in your drive"

I tell him I'll be out in a minute and snap my phone shut. Grabbing my purse throwing my phone in it I stop at the liquor cabinet and grab an unopened bottle of whiskey and a bottle of Kettle One Citroen vodka. I run out the door calling out to Charlie, "Dad I'm going to the party at Jared's I'll be home late don't wait up!"

I run out to the car and get in putting the bottles on the floor by my feet. I flip down the visor and start to do my makeup in the mirror as Quil pulls out of the driveway. Quil has been one of my best friends since I was 16. We worked together for like 4 years and I had been in 2 really bad relationships but now I was single, I had friends I could actually hang out with, and I was loving life.

Quil had been there for me through my breakups and when I had emerged from my breakup with Paul with no real friends and really depressed about it he had taken me under his wing, introduced me to his circle of friends, and helped me to see that being single was awesome.

Things had started to change with the more time we spent together though. I wasn't interested in dating but that didn't mean I didn't get lonely. I noticed that Quil hadn't been dating either and I knew he was probably lonely as well. So I started being more physical with him, snuggling against him on someone's couch or on my bed when we would hang out and watch TV. He never complained or seemed uncomfortable but neither of us ever took it any farther than that.

I finish my makeup as we pull into the parking lot behind Jared's apartment. I had met Jared at my second job, we had hit it off and now he was the brother that I had always wanted. He was the first actual friend that I had made as a single woman and after a week of hanging out till dawn we had looked at each other and declared each other family.

I got out of the car and looked over at Quil before slamming the door. We headed into the apartment building and up to J's apartment. I let us in and headed for the kitchen. The music from the living room was blaring I saw Jared's best friend and roommate Embry Call with his girlfriend Deanna talking to some kids I didn't know who went to LPH. Jared came out and I handed him the bottle of whiskey that I brought from my house and gave him a hug while shouting, "Big Bro! What is up?"

Jared gave me a squeeze and put the whiskey on the bar as he replied, "not much Kid; not much at all. I see your still holding on to your collection of flesh mutilating silver appendages." He turned and nodded at Quil who had gone to the bar and poured himself a soda, "Good to see you Quil, thanks for being my sis here's DD tonight, good man"

Quil nodded back and I said, "J, how can you make fun of my piercings, you paid for half of them!"

We all laughed, it was a running tradition that for any birthday or holiday that Jared wanted to get me a gift I would ask for another piercing. So far he had gotten me my labret, and my industrial; I had paid for my tragus, nose, and tongue piercings.

I made myself a drink and went to go sit down on one of the couches, Jared's parties pretty much go like this, a bunch of guys and girls getting shitfaced, at some point someone may have weed, then there will be a huge brawl, a bathroom door will be broken. Property damage usually signals the end of the party.

I had rolled a couple of joints in the early afternoon and stuck them in with the remainder of my pack of Marlboro Reds, pulling one out I lit it and took a deep pull on it. I held the smoke and counted to 5 before I exhaled. I took another hit and then passed it to J who was on the other end of the couch.

As the joint made the rounds I got up to go see what Quil was up to, I found him in the kitchen talking to a bunch of guys that I didn't know but who knew both Quil and J from their first 2 years of college. I caught his eye as I made myself another drink and headed back into the living room so that I wouldn't miss my turn on the joint.

I get back and snuggle in with J on the couch, everyone who knows me knows I'm a touchy feely kind of girl; it's what used to piss Edward off so bad when I had dated him in high school. He hated that most of my friends were guys and that I was inclined to be flirty but not suggestive. Most of my friends had known me since grade school; they knew I wasn't serious so it wasn't a big deal for me.

By the time it got to be around 2:30am I was well and truly lit, I couldn't stand still unless I was leaning against a wall and I was high as shit. I heard a sudden crash in the hallway and then someone screaming and J came back into the living room and announced, "Alright, all you fuckers can get on out of here, property damage has been achieved!"

There was some jovial laughter and Quil came in with my coat from the kitchen and held his hand out. I took it and he helped me up, I struggled with my jacket until I felt the couch back under me, I blinked and looked up at Quil who was laughing at me. From my now seated position I got my coat on and he helped me up again. I swayed on my feet and next thing I knew I was crashing against Quil's chest and his arms were around me keeping me from hitting the floor.

I manage to steady myself and say, "I'm sorry Quil; I'm all fucked up right now."

He laughs and shakes his head and we head out to the car. He asks, "Do you want me to take you home or do you want to hit up the diner for some drunk food?"

I ponder it but I'm not really capable of making decisions at this point so I garble something out and he just laughs and says, "Ok, diner it is, you need to sober up a little."

**Quil POV**

I drive around the corner to the diner, if Bella wasn't so fucked up we probably would have walked but she had smoked one of her joints to the face on top of the two she had shared with the other 6 or so people who were smoking and she had ended up drinking most of the bottle of citrus flavored vodka that she'd brought from her place.

J's parties always end the same, people who are fucked up beyond all recognition, and for some reason with him and his roommate Embry needing to replace their bathroom door. Generally I'm the one who ends up on designated driver duty because Bells gives me her sad pouty eyes when I bring it up that it wouldn't kill her to be DD once in a while. I don't really mind I just like to complain sometimes.

The truth is I love to be her designated driver because the fact that she trusts me to take care of her when she's at her most vulnerable tells me that she trusts me more than anyone else.

I shake myself out of my reverie and get out of the car, Bells is halfway to passed out and I know that if she does she'll end up getting really sick when I wake her up when we get back to Charlie's.

I open her door and lean down into it and nudge her, she shakes her head and asks me something but I'm not sure what it was so I just say, "Bells we're at the diner, you have to get out of the car and come in and get something in your stomach or you're going to be in big trouble when you wake up this afternoon."

She groans a little but swings her legs out of the car, I see her skirt rising up her thigh a bit and pull my eyes away as I grab her arm and help her out of the car. We walk into the diner and get a table and I push both glasses of water that the busboy sets down for us towards her.

She leans back in the booth and closes her eyes and I say, "Bella. Open your eyes. Come on girl you need to drink this water ok?"

She keeps her eyes closed but sits up and lifts the glass to her lips and takes a couple of sips. The waitress comes over and I order myself 3 different things and a French toast deluxe for Bella because she's going to need the food to absorb some of the alcohol in her stomach.

I watch as Bella finishes the first glass of water and opens her eyes and laughs as she says, "Ugh, Quil, I'm fucked up! I feel a little better now though"

She still looks pretty fucked but she's at least speaking coherently again and I know she'll be fine when she wakes up later. She finishes the second glass and the busboy comes and fills them again. This is part of the party routine, after a big night we always end up at the diner.

Our food comes and we dig in, she looks about 75% sober by the time we get the check and she tosses down a 10 at me as she finishes her final glass of water and we get up and go pay.

I drive her back to her dads with the windows open and she seems much more alert and awake but maybe she's just cold. I pull into the driveway and idle as she gets her stuff together. She turns to me and says, "Hey do you want to come in? We can watch some TV in the living room, dad will be asleep by now."

I think about it and decide why the fuck not, it's like 4am now but I don't have to work tomorrow so I can watch a movie or something. I throw the car in park and tell her, "Yeah sure I don't have work today so it doesn't really matter when I get home"

She smiles and we head up into the house, she tosses me the remote and snuggles up against my side as I skip through the channel guide looking for something to watch. I finally settle on Adult Swim on Cartoon Network and put down the remote and wrap an arm around Bells.

Taking our relationship to another level has been rolling around in my head lately but I have no idea how to do that. I've known for the past 2 years that there was a physical attraction there. Sometimes the tension between us was almost unbearable. But then there was the fact that she wasn't native. My father and grandfather would have a fit if I brought her to their home as a friend, that's why through 6 years of friendship she's never met them. It would be a lot worse if I brought her home as a girlfriend.

I don't know, Bella is an awesome girl but is she really girlfriend material? She's got a past, so do I but even with my looser ways hers is wilder, she drinks and does drugs on a regular basis, she's loud and brash and she's got metal head chic down to a science, I don't look at girls like that as girlfriends, they're hook ups, one night stands. I love Bella too much to do that to her. Don't I?

My mind has been running this all different ways and I have three main truths; first, I love Bella as a friend. She's been the one I've confided in and trusted with everything for the last 6 years. Second, I want her physically more than I've wanted anyone else. Lastly, I can't see myself dating her or having any kind of relationship with her.

She gets up and says, "I'm gunna get another glass of water, do you want a drink?"

I shake my head no and she heads into the kitchen. I watch as she comes back and drinks her water, her eyes on the TV. She relaxes back into the overstuffed couch and I wrap an arm around her shoulders.

I know that what I'm about to ask her is wrong, under the circumstances it's so wrong because I know she's high and I know she's had a lot to drink but I need to ask. I need to get this out in the open. I'm not going to promise her anything I'm just going to ask for what I want.

I take a deep breath and say, "Bella? You awake?"

She shifts against me and answers, "yeah, whatsup?"

I've had hookups and one night stands before but I've never been nervous asking for one. I guess because before this none of those women really mattered, Bell matters, we've been friends for so long and I don't want to lose that but sometimes no matter how much you want things to stay the same they change anyway.

So I take another deep breath and I ask, "Bella, would you think it's a bad idea or that it would be weird, if I asked if I could hook up with you?"

She takes a shaky breath and doesn't say anything for a long time, I'm starting to get worried and I wonder if I should just laugh it off and play it as a joke when she says, "umm I don't think that would be a good idea tonight Quil. I'm not saying no, just not tonight ok? I feel a little nauseas and actually do you mind if we call it a night?"

I smile at her and I can see that she's not rejecting the idea and she's right, tonight is not a good night, really I just wanted to put the idea out there to see if she would completely shut it down. Now I know that she's considering it.

I rub her shoulder a little and tell her, "Yeah B, that's fine, I'll talk to you tomorrow ok?"

She nods and walks me to the door and I head to my car and drive home where I drag myself up to my room and lay down, the thoughts running through my head are oppressing me and I push them away and spend the rest of the early morning trying to get some sleep.

A/N: So that's the first chapter… I hope you guys like it. It's not going to be a happy easy story. There's going to be drama and hurt and before the end a lot of you probably won't like me but I hope you stick around for the whole thing!