*I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep
Then I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night *
As soon as the song started playing on the radio, Penny sighed and put down the gift she'd been wrapping. It was Sheldon's gift. Other people were so easy to buy for, but for some reason, she'd never wanted to buy Sheldons gift. He didn't like Christmas, and hated gift exchanges, which made it all the more important to her that whatever she got him, he liked.
Ok, so she knew the reason, and had known for a while, but somehow telling people that she had to spend more thought on Sheldon's presents than money because he was special , and more important... Well, it didn't really sound right.
The napkin she had got him, with Leonard Nemoy's signature, and DNA... She'd got that a month before Christmas, because as soon as she him seated in her section, she knew what she had to do.
She'd been a little concerned about him having wiped his mouth on it, knowing that might freak Sheldon out, but she'd noticed a long time ago, that Sheldon's germophobia vanished whenever he wasn't thinking about it. The fight with Leonard in which they'd ended up rolling on the floor for instance.
Even she knew how dirty that floor was likely to be.
And there were other things too.
Ramona using that pumice stone on his feet, not running away when leonard's mother had...
With a groan, she realized she was back where she had started her thought process.
Ever since that Christmas, when Leonard's mom had kissed Sheldon, she couldn't hear this song without thinking of it.
She'd been drunk enough to be paralysed with shock when it happened, but she had noticed that he'd been glaring at her throughout the entire kiss.
It wasn't a long kiss, because he hadn't responded, but he hadn't pulled away either.
She felt like she was being punished, and she wasn't even sure why. He wasn't her boyfriend, Leonard was.
At least, he had been, back then. But it had started the ball rolling. Why did watching someone else kiss Sheldon make her feel so depressed?
She wasn't totally dumb, she'd figured that out too, eventually.
It had crystallized in her mind when Leonard had said those three little words. She didn't love Leonard.
She loved Sheldon.
Which was a totally bat-crazy idea, because it made no sense, Sheldon had never, would never reciprocate.
But she did.
So she did what she'd always done. She'd got him the perfect Christmas gift.
And now it was wrapped, and that damn song was playing on the radio, and it was nearly midnight.
All she had to do was sneak next door, and place the gift under the tree, where Sheldon would be sure to notice it, because she'd searched and found the perfect wrapping paper too. Leonard's gift was wrapped in red Santas.
Sheldon's was wrapped in blue paper covered with Santa hat wearing Spocks.
She knew the mere idea of Spock wearing a Santa hat would drive him up the wall. She also knew that it would be folded carefully and put away in his closet, where he hid all his treasured things.
She'd worked extra shifts all year to be able to afford his present. She'd begged people she didn't even know, and sent emails, and cajoled her parents into giving her their airmiles for Christmas.
She hoped he'd like it. There wasn't much chance he wouldn't, it was on his life list after all, but she still felt nervous. So much of her had gone into the gift, that even if Sheldon never realized why she'd done it, she knew that the other guys would. Her secret would be outed for sure. Which is why she had waited till the last possible minute to bring his present over.
She paused outside the door and listened carefully before inserting her key and opening the door.
The living room was dark, as it normally was. Only the shape of the tree showed against the light coming in from the window. Tiptoeing, she crossed the room, and placed her gifts under the tree, trying not to make a noise, in case he heard her.
So when his voice came from right behind her, she nearly screamed.
"What are you doing?"
She spun around, her eyes wide. "Putting your present under the tree."
She couldn't really see his face, just his outline, but he seemed more curious than mad.
"Why are you doing that at five minutes to midnight?" He asked imperiously. "Could it not have waited till morning?"
She swallowed. It could have, but she was kinda hoping that they would open the presents while she wasn't there, because as her dad would say, she was chicken shit. "I, um, wanted to surprise you." She licked her lips and changed the subject. "Why arn't you in bed? What are you doing standing here in the dark?"
"I was sitting."
He was silent. "I'm glad Leonard's mother didn't come visit this Christmas."
"Yeah, me too." Penny snorted. "Watching her kiss you once was enough."
"I can't sleep." He blurted out.
Penny reached out and touched his arm. "Aw, honey, why not?"
"Why didn't you stop her?"
"I didn't know she was going to kiss you. I was as shocked as you." She said softly.
He snorted. "I hardly think so."
"Sheldon, was that your first kiss?"
"No." He said bluntly. "I have been kissed many times."
"A few. Non of them were asked for, I assure you." There was an odd tone to his voice, and she couldn't really figure it out.
She was staring up at his, what she could see of it, when she saw him point a long finger up at the ceiling.
"You may want to avoid this spot tomorrow." He said clearly. Then suddenly, his lips were pressed to hers, the kiss quick yet forceful.
"Wha?" Penny blinked, her brain totally frozen. Sheldon had kissed her. She was torn between reaching for him and fainting dead away.
"Mistletoe." Sheldon replied calmly, stepping away. "I stayed awake to warn you of it. Leonard hung it earlier today, he's hoping memories will induce you to re-commit to your previous relationship."
Penny half smiled and shook her head. She should have known he was only kissing her as custom decreed. "That's not gonna happen Sheldon. Leonard and I are over for good."
He watched as she silently left the apartment, locking the door behind her.
Now he could go to sleep.
The next morning, there was a pounding on her door at an hour far to early to be eleven o'clock.
She knew before she got there that it was Leonard.
"What do you want?" She asked as she opened the door.
He smiled at her, are you coming over to open presents? We're waiting for you!"
She sighed. "Did Sheldon open his gift yet?"
"No, he's holding it like a precious object and staring at the wrapping paper." Leonard replied. "He won't open it till you come over."
"Ok." She shook her head, "I'll be over in a minute."
Sighing again, she went and brushed her teeth and combed her hair. She'd really been hoping that he'd have opened it already! But no, she was going to have to go over and watch, and while watching Sheldon's face as he realized what he held in his hands was something she dearly wanted to do, watching Leonard's face would hurt. He was a nice guy. He just wasn't... Sheldon.
Knowing she couldn't put it off any longer, she went across the hallway, carefully making sure to avoid any mistletoe.
Sheldon was in his spot on the couch, staring at his still wrapped gift in awe.
"Penny! Where did you find this wrapping paper?" He asked breathlessly. "Of course, Spock would never wear a Santa hat and..."
Penny tuned the rest out, just smiling at him as she crossed to the kitchen and helped herself to coffee.
"Arn't you going to come sit down?" Leonard asked, patting the seat between him and Sheldon.
She shook her head. "Nah, I want to see you open your gifts."
Leonard opened his first, and held it up. "A gift certificate?"
"It's to that website you guys love, I couldn't choose what to get you."
"Aw, thanks Penny!" He grinned at her.
She smiled back, and turned her eyes to Sheldon, almost nervously. He was pulling back the pieces of tape carefully, so as not to mar the paper, and she felt her stomach turn. She more nervous in this moment than she'd ever been on stage, she could even feel tears pricking her eyes.
He opened the present, and help up the package, a small frown on his face as he read the note she'd written on it, his eyes getting wider and wider until he leapt from his seat and tore across the room, giving her a hug that squeezed the breath right out of her, then raced off to his room, to get her gift.
He was back in less than twenty seconds, his arms full, not with soap baskets this year, but gift wrapped boxes.
Her mouth dropped open. He really did like to be prepared for all gifts.
He put them down on the island in front of her, then ran back to his room to get his gift again, coming back with it clutched to his chest.
She opened Leonard's gift for her first, a maid for a day certificate. "Gee, thanks Leonard!" She gave him an odd look. Her place wasn't THAT messy.
Then she started on the boxes from Sheldon.
Her jaw dropped.
Burberry trench coat.
Prada, Jimmy Choo, and...
"Ohmigod." She whispered as soon as she saw the box. "You didn't?"
He was practically vibrating beside her. "I know, it's not enough!"
She opened the shoe box with reverence and then let out a shriek that sent Sheldon crashing into the counter behind them.
"MANOLO'S!" She screamed. "THANK YOU!"
Sheldon smiled, realizing that his gift had made her very happy, almost as happy as her gift had made him. Thank goodness for Google! It hadn't been hard to figure out her shoe size, she left her shoes all over her apartment.
Leonard was staring at the pile of stuff incredulously.
"Penny." Sheldon tapped her on the shoulder. "There is two tickets. Are you coming with me?"
Penny looked up at him in surprise. "You can take whoever you want Sheldon. It's YOUR present."
He cleared his throat. "Ok, WILL you come with me?"
Penny smiled. "Yes."
Leonard coughed. "Um, guys? You wanna tell what's going on here?"
Sheldon turned to him triumphantly. "The Hadron Collider."
"Penny and I are going to go see the Hadron Collider!"
Leonards face was blank as he shifted his eyes to Penny. "You got him an invitation to go see the Hadron Collider?"
"And air tickets and hotel reservations." Sheldon piped in.
Penny nodded, her eyes on Sheldon. "It's on his list."
"It's nearly impossible to get an invitation." Leonard was frowning.
"Clearly it IS possible, Penny's done it, it's signed by the head of CERN." Sheldon glared at him.
Penny's smile faltered as she took in the look dawning on Leonard's face.
"You must have gone through a lot of trouble." He said quietly.
"More than you'll ever want to know." She confirmed.
He nodded, and then knowing she had made her choice, he reluctantly smiled. "You guys will have fun."
"Of course we will!" Sheldon exclaimed. "I have to go pack!"
"So, I guess the mistletoe will go untested this year." Leonard sighed, looking up the ceiling.
Sheldon paused on his way out of the living room and caught Penny's eye. "I wouldn't say that." He smirked.
Leonard looked at them closely.
Penny was blushing...
The more she blushed, the higher Sheldon's eyebrow was going, and the more devilish the smirk on his face.
"You know, I think I forgot something." Sheldon said, crossing back to Penny and standing right in front of her.
"What?" She whispered.
He pulled something out of his pocket and held it above her head. "I lied. I put up the mistletoe."
When she glanced up at the sprig above her head in shock, he kissed her again.
This time, she grabbed on to his bathrobe and didn't let go.