A/N: I went through something difficult about three months ago. And this story came of it. Things are much better now, but I still think these thoughts are relevant, and very appropriate for Matt and Mello. To my Matt (or, Mello, in this story) I love you.
"Why do you love me?" I can't count how many times Mello has asked me that in the five years we've been together. The answer never changes:
I don't know.
I could list all the things I admire about him, sure. His intelligence, his looks, his fire, the fact that he's the only person on earth who could ever beat me at a video game – though that's only happened twice; usually I still kick his ass – but none of that would explain why I love him.
And I'm not going to go all blinded by love and pretend Mello is the angel he looks like either. I know every one of his flaws, and I could write a list of them. He's completely bipolar. He acts rashly and gets himself into trouble (exhibit A: his scar). He can be a jerk when he wants to be and he's got an inferiority complex the size of California.
It's not exactly that I love him for his flaws – they drive me crazy sometimes – but I don't love him in spite of them either. They just are. They're a part of Mello, and I love Mello.
Love isn't rational or logical. Love…just is. There's no reason behind it, unless you want to get religious or superstitious and say that God or Fate made us for each other.
I know I'm the only person who can handle Mello's mood swings and need for control. And he's the only one who can handle my smoking and laziness. This is exactly what I think is the definition of a "soulmate." Two souls perfectly crafted and suited for each other and no one else, destined to find each other and help each other through anything.
I love everything that Mello is – the good points and the faults. I don't love him because of everything he is, or in spite of anything that he is. I just love that he is.
So I hold him a little closer and tilt my head for one long, tender kiss, and when we separate I look him in the eyes and answer truthfully.
"I have absolutely no idea."