Just an extra thing, because I took so long. And I can't resist playing with these characters.

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The elder brother turned. "Thank you. This could have turned out much worse." They really did get lucky their uncle wasn't too much like their father. To Naruto, he said, "None of this is your fault, kid."

"Yeah." He said, but he didn't sound convinced.

"You should stop by later." He smiled at the boy, and Naruto smiled back—it was such a rare event. Itachi caught up with his brother and didn't look back.

Naruto squinted up at his best friend's uncle. "Why were you pretending to be nice? And you seemed like such a good guy on the phone." He crossed his arms, remembering all that Sasuke had said about his uncle. From what he'd said, his uncle was the kindest man in all the land. "When we talked earlier, you made it sound like you wouldn't go beat Itachi up."

"Who says I was pretending to be nice?" He ignored the rest of what Naruto said. It's not like it's really his business anyway what an uncle does to his nephew.

"Your eyes. You don't smile right, and it's unsettling."

"I don't want to hear that from a brat like you." So much for this kid being a good influence. He should've known that any descendent of his former sensei would have a mouth like that.

"I'm right, though. I just don't know which direction you're going in." He started walking towards parking lot. "Either you're still planning on hurting them, or you're planning on hurting someone else."

He looked up at the man walking beside him, and noted how angry he seemed all of a sudden. "Are you taking your anger out on me because—" he was slammed against the wall, much in the same way Itachi had been. This time, though, Madara had a decidedly different intent.

He matched the young blonde arm for arm, pinning them to the wall and keeping his body too close for Naruto to use his legs to kick him away. "What do you know?" The older man was angry, yes, but for what he was thinking he wanted the boy thoroughly creeped out, not bruised, bloodied, or scared. With decisive movements he slid his leg between the young boys' and roughly rubbed it against his groin. "You don't know anything, Na-ru-to." he let each syllable fall delicately from his mouth.

Naruto clenched his teeth. "What the hell?" Wriggling had no effect. "If you don't let me go, I'll scream." He threatened. It had been too long since he'd fought somebody Madara's size, and he was embarrassed that he had been taken off guard so easily.

"I don't intend to let you go… but I will make you scream." Suddenly the blonde wouldn't meet his eyes anymore, and he knew it was working. "Before, what Itachi was saying—you disagree, right?" He bent closer slowly so he wouldn't startle his prey. A little more, then he'd be able to carry out stage two. "It wouldn't be wrong at all for you and me to do all the things you've been longing to do… with Sasuke."

The glaze coming over the brilliant blue eyes was thrown off a nasty piece of seaweed. "Fuck you." Naruto stomped on Madara's foot, then used the slight backstep that caused to push Madara's leg away from his groin and give a jab of his own knee to his gut. He was shorter than his opponent, but he wasn't trying to incapacitate. Once Madara stepped back he dashed out from between the man and the wall and got to the open parking lot.

He looked back and waited carefully, guarded this time. The older man was not pleased that his plan had failed, but at least he knew three things: one, the kid was most definitely related to his old teacher. Two, baiting and coercing would not work on a person like Naruto. And three, he'd been right—the blonde was absolutely in love with his youngest nephew.

"All I want to know is what you intend to do with my best friend and his most cherished person. We both know that before the weekend is over, they'll be lovers again." He defiantly looked at the man, summoning all the determination in his soul. "I'll do whatever it takes to get you to leave them be, even if I have to fight you."

Fighting back a laugh, Madara decided to forgive the boy for his impudence. Perhaps Naruto wasn't so bad after all; when was the last time anyone had inspired him even to think about laughing? "As it turns out, I plan to do nothing with them unless they make their private issues public again."

"Good." He appeared relieved, though he'd never look at Sasuke's uncle the same way again. That man's sanity resided somewhere between creepy and bat-shit crazy. "But if you ever do anything, I'll kill you, find my grandpa, and get him to kill you again." His attempt to leave dramatically failed partly because he was not a smooth person and partly because he just remembered that he was supposed to get a ride with Madara. The man he'd just threatened to kill. Oops.

Sheepishly, he turned around. The Uchiha was standing with one hand jingling his keys and the other on his cell phone. "Would you like to get in the car, or should I call Jiraiya-sensei and inform him that his mischievous grandson is skipping school?"

Naruto fidgeted uncomfortably. While the answer appeared obvious, his sense were buzzing, telling him there was more to it than meets the eye. "Where are we going?"

"I intend to take you up on that offer. You say you'll do anything for my nephews? Then you'll need to do a little favor for me."

Well that didn't sound encouraging. But Naruto couldn't help being who he was. "Fine. What must I do?"

Orochimaru was not having a good day. He'd recently tattled on somebody he'd once considered a friend, and it didn't sit well with him. He should have known better than to act while he was upset, by the hypocrisy of the situation drove him mad!

Anyway, he sincerely hoped it worked out for them. Itachi didn't deserve happiness, but a cute little kid like his younger brother did. He rubbed his temples as he waited for the water to boil. Perhaps all he needed was a nice cup of tea, and then he'd be able to concentrate on his homework. All this stress was beginning to get to him; his hair had been considerably less shiny since he'd started this project and he was eager for it to be over with.

Barely had he begun when the doorbell rang. Unusual and unwelcome, but he grudgingly answered the door. "Yes?" His tone changed from annoyance to shock quite quickly. Why was a blonde high schooler at his doorstep? He looked vaguely familiar. "Can I help you?"

Naruto nervously bit his lip. "Umm, yes. My battery died and I need to call my grandpa. Can I use your phone?"

Every documentary and lifetime movie that warned against letting strangers into his home flashed through his mind, warning him of the consequences. "Sure." He stepped back to let the blonde through. What could a young boy possibly do? "My phone is right there on the table."

"Right." Naruto looked at it like it would bite him or something. Somewhat sarcastically, Orochimaru asked, "do you need help figuring out how to dial? Just press the numbers and hit 'send' to make your call."

The boy half glared up at him and Orochimaru noticed how nervous the boy looked and immediately felt bad. "Are you okay? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

'Great,' Naruto thought. 'It figures this guy wouldn't be the total douche-bag Madara made him sound like. However, he'd given his word to do this. Plus there was the reward waiting for him.

"I don't want to burden you with this, but I am in a bit of trouble." Taking advantage of his innocent looks, he let his eyes dart nervously around and twiddled his thumbs. "You see, there's this man who's after me." As he made his way over to the windows, he checked that Orochimaru was following him. The older man looked quite concerned, but Naruto squashed all thoughts of turning back. 'Just think of your reward! You can do this!'

"Why? What does he look like?" Naruto edged a little closer to the windows, grateful that the curtains were open and that these were to the side of the house—from the street, this could seem very suspicious.

"He's about your height, and he has long dark hair." He was leaning against the window now, looking as pathetic and adorable as he could. "He's wearing jeans a white t-shirt." Orochimaru completely missed that Naruto had just described him.

"Would you like to stay here for while? I can call the police for you." Even if the boy wasn't cute he'd help a stranger, but cuteness was a factor. Who could resist such a perfect little angel? This kid would be great in his photography project. The young blonde would truly capture the spirit of happiness running around with some puppies…

"NO!" Naruto startled all three of them. "I mean, no. I'll be fine in a moment. I just need… some comfort."

Orochimaru tilted his head to the side in confusion, his dark hair swishing to the side. "Comfort?"

Close enough. Naruto moved forward and grabbed the man, hooking his leg and tipping back so that Orochimaru fell on top of him. Although he couldn't see the flashes of light, he heard the sound of several clicks. "What on earth? Are you alright? Was that lightning just now?" The bigger man jumped off of Naruto and went to help him up.

However, Naruto ignored him. The boy mumbled something; it sounded like he was repeating two words over and over. He went to inquire further about the strange behavior, but the doorbell rang and, thinking perhaps he'd scare off this boy's pursuer, he opened the door aggressively. Yet Madara was standing there, holding up a digital camera. "Say 'cheese,' pervert."

"What? Madara-sensei?"

"Yes, that's a very nice expression. You look absolutely shocked to be caught molesting a young boy." Naruto had suddenly appeared under Madara's arm, clinging to Orochimaru's history teacher and staring at his shoes. "You should be ashamed of yourself, Orochimaru."

"What?" He was still completely baffled.

"It means," Madara explained calmly, "that if you ever think about trying to threaten my nephews again, I'll release these photos of you molesting a child."

"But that's not what happened!" He exclaimed indignantly.

"It's your word against pictures. You're going to lose." His smirk settled into place. Ah, it was a good day to be Madara Uchiha.

Orochimaru looked beseechingly at the blonde, but he was ignored as the boy kept repeating those two words he could almost make out. "Bye." Madara reached out to shut the door for him, and just as the door was clicking, Orochimaru heard the two words said under the blonde's breath.

For what reason did Naruto aid in the blackmail of a poor college student? What did the blonde nearly traumatize himself for?

"Ice cream." Naruto mumbled again, climbing quickly into the car. If he just focused on the ice cream that was to come, he would forget that he just aided in the blackmail of a halfway decent man.

"Yes, I'll buy you ice cream now."


So Orochimaru wasn't a total douche, but that was because I kept forgetting that he couldn't just disappear. oops :) and now to work on finishing Artist!

hahahhaaaa... it really isn't funny. I need to write stuff I'm getting graded on and am paying to be graded on. so probably soon, but by now I'm sure I've jinxed myself. Just know that every night that I try to fall asleep, I'm planning the rest of it. Sometimes I think about it too much and get excited and have to write things down, or else I can't sleep.