Title: Of Midlife Crisis and Matchmaking
Summary: In which Tsuna has a midlife crisis and solves it by playing matchmaking. Of course, things are never smooth for the young Vongola Decimo for he sinks into a nasty argument with his lover in the midst.
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! belongs to Akira Amano
Pairing: ?27, 1869, 8059
Warning: Some bits of fluff, crack, OoC-ness and suggestiveness
Of Mid-Life Crisis and Matchmaking
" Can someone turn up the AC? It's really hot in here." Tsuna groaned.
He knew Lambo was in the middle of his report, but the tenth Boss of Vongola could stand the heat no longer. It was in the middle of summer, for god's sake. And where were they?
...In the meeting room on the fourth freaking floor.
...Don't they know that hot air rises?
And, of course, just when Tsuna thinks that nothing could be worse than the hot summer heat–
" Oh, it's hot indeed. Shall I make it even hotter?"
–Cue suggestive remarks and perverted looks.
Mukuro smirked as a light blush spread over the twenty-year-old brunette's face.
Hibari growled. " Hands off, pineapple herbivore."
" Ara, jealous are we?" Mukuro replied smoothly.
" Hey, I'm Jyuudaime's Right-Hand man. If anyone needs to raise the temperature, I do it." Gokudera injected.
" Tsuna needs to cool down. I'm the Rain Guardian, so I should be doing it, don't you think?" Yamamoto grinned.
Tsuna's face was getting redder by the minute.
" B-But… I promised I'll take care of Tsuna-nii!" Lambo whined.
" I'll do it to the extreme!" Ryohei yelled.
" Back off, you two idiots." Gokudera growled. " Of all of us, the Lightning and Sun Guardians only adds to the heat!"
" I would so love to increase the heat, if that makes my lovely Tsunayoshi-" Mukuro paused mid-sentence.
The Guardians gulped in fear as the entire table was frozen solid. They looked slowly to their Boss.
Tsuna had on the most angelic and innocent smile, despite the contrasting Dying Will Flame burning on his head… or the still-existing blush on his face. The crystal on the back of the X-Gloves pulsated with a soft glow as hands gripped the edge of the table tightly. The Guardians look like they were sinking into their seats as ice crystals begun to form on random parts of the wall and ceiling.
" Ahh, I'm so sorry. You guys were taking too long, so I took the liberty of lowering the temperature myself." Tsuna said, his smile never leaving his face. Getting silence in response, Tsuna hummed a happy tune to himself softly to himself as he let the Dying Will Flame extinguish. " Now then, where were we…? Ah, right. Lambo, your report. If you don't mind continuing?"
" …S-Sure, Tsuna-nii…" Lambo nodded dumbly as he quickly continued.
" Reborn." Tsuna greeted.
" Tsuna." Said hitman grunted in greeting. " What the hell is so goddamn important that you demanded that I finish up my mission ASAP and return here to see you?" Reborn growled as he sat down on the couch.
" I have a midlife crisis." Tsuna said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Reborn was silent for a moment as he stared at his student. After getting over his brief shock, the tutor continued. " Tsuna. You're only twenty; that's hardly 'midlife'. In any case, a midlife crisis is a problem that causes great changes to your life. How the hell can you be having a midlife crisis?"
" One, I'm Vongola Decimo. We never really know when we'll die in the Mafia world. I can die tomorrow for all I know, so that counts as 'midlife." Tsuna said.
" That's why it's our job to protect you, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn scolded.
Sometimes, it really did scare the Sun Arcobaleno how the once-deadly-timid brunette could talk about death as though he was talking about the weather.
Tsuna rolled his eyes but did not comment on it further. " Anyway, with all due respect, Reborn, I am rather sure that living in a mansion full of horny Guardians counts as a midlife crisis." Tsuna continued. " I can get raped anytime; that that will definitely bring great changes to my life."
Reborn snickered. " Well, what happened this time?"
" They were outright fighting over me!" Tsuna said. " And –oh, I am going to murder that stupid, perverted illusionist– Mukuro was flirting, making Kyouya angry, and for some random, unknown reason, Hayato and Takeshi decided to join in."
" Lucky you." Reborn smirked.
" Reborn!" Tsuna flushed. " Really, what in the world is wrong with their hormones? It's like they're hormonally frustrated twenty-four-seven! I mean, not Lambo –I am hundred-percent sure no one taught him about that yet– or Ryo –even Hyper Intuition is telling me he's just plain oblivious– but the rest of my Guardians –male ones, mind you– are acting like some random animal in heat!"
" Why not just let them have their way? Speaking of which-"
" –Reborn, I am, under no circumstances, discussing the subject of my virginity." Tsuna said rather firmly, despite the deep blush on his face. " And anyway, they're having their way – trust me. I can't even walk to the next room without being groped!" Tsuna complained, nearly waving his arms in the air in frustration. " I swear, it feels like there's a paper taped on me that says, 'Rape me!'"
Reborn snickered. " So… What do you plan to do?"
" …Well, Reborn…" Tsuna muttered, a small smirk creeping onto his face. " I think it's time I get my Guardians laid."
And Reborn smirked.
" …I am not agreeing to this."
" But, it's the only thing I can come up with…!" Tsuna whined.
" Well then, think again. I am not going to agree to this." Tsuna pouted and turned on the waterworks. " That's not going to work this time."
Tsuna pouted. " But… you didn't stand up for me when I was being sexually harassed."
" That's different!"
" No it's not!" Tsuna yelled, an even bigger pout on his face – if that's even possible.
" That was just plain groping. This time, they're going to get in your pants."
" No, they aren't!" Tsuna blushed, both in embarrassment and anger. " Isn't it too late for you to be jealous?" Tsuna spat.
" You think I'm jealous…? Ridiculous."
" Admit it, you are jealous." Tsuna pressed.
" I'm not. And if this is the way our conversation is having, then I'll gladly take my leave."
" Fine." Tsuna crossed his arms.
" …Hn. Don't come crying to me when you regret."
Tsuna glared at nothing in particular as he squeezed his eyes shut, using everything he had not to cry.
Tsuna jumped a few feet into the air as a bullet whizzed past him. " R-Reborn…!" He gasped, taking in a few deep breaths.
" What's wrong, Tsuna? You're not focused at all." Reborn commented. " By the way, mission report." The hitman threw down a manila folder on the desk and took a seat.
" It's… nothing." Tsuna muttered. " Good job and thank you for your hard work again."
" Dame-Tsuna…" Reborn 'tsk'-ed. " Do you really think you can fool me?"
" No…" Tsuna replied softly. " …But I can always hope, right?" Tsuna asked.
" Sure you can. Except… I'm not going to give you your 'hope'." Reborn smirked. " Now, are you going to talk, or do I have to talk to your boyfriend?"
" No!" Tsuna shot out of his seat, then blushed in embarrassment.
Reborn arched an eyebrow and waited as Tsuna shifted his rather comfortable leather chair. The hitman observed quietly as different emotions washed over the brunette – hesitation, anger, regret… then, finally, pure sadness.
" …We… had an argument." Tsuna finally spoke.
" Over the plan."
It was a statement, not a question. Tsuna nodded. Reborn sighed. Tsuna swallowed as he gripped his pen hard.
" …So what are you planning to do now? Still going through with the plan?" Reborn asked.
" …Going with Plan B." Tsuna muttered.
" I don't recall a Plan B." Reborn said.
" New plan." Tsuna replied. " I was taught to always have a back-up plan."
Reborn smirked and nodded slowly. " Be careful, Tsuna. If you play with fire, you'll get burned."
Tsuna gave a small smile. " I think… I've already been burned."
Reborn gave a small chuckle as he headed out of the office. He walked down the hallway before stopping.
" Give him a little break, won't you? He's so distraught about the argument; he didn't even notice you standing right outside the door." Reborn said. " Besides, you know Tsuna truly loves you. Even that dumb, idiotic student of mine knows what his limit is and not to break it. He's just doing this to help his Family get along better." Reborn continued. Gaining a somewhat guilty look in return, the hitman sighed. " I should warn you. If you ever make Tsuna choose between his Family and you – intentional or not – I'll come after you. Ciao."
And with a wave of a hand, Reborn walked off.
The next Guardian meeting wasn't exactly pleasant. At least, not to said Guardians.
Tsuna had a permanent glare fixed on his face throughout the entire said meeting. He gave nods – in agreement or approval, accordingly – at times, but the glare didn't leave his face. After the final report was read and approved, Tsuna let out an exasperated sigh.
" Lambo, Ryo, Chrome-chan. The three of you are dismissed." Tsuna said smoothly.
The three dare not question further and quickly left the room. Tsuna eyed the remainder of his Guardians carefully. Though his glare was long gone, the frown that replaced it was, in fact, not much better.
" Now then… For the rest of you…" Tsuna massaged his temples gently, already feeling a migraine coming on. " ...Let me first apologize for what I'm going to say, because I've decided that, in the end, being blunt is probably the best thing after all." Tsuna said.
" J-Jyuudaime…" Gokudera called.
Tsuna raised a hand to stop him before he continued. " Guys, I love all of you as my Family. And I am fully aware of how I'm rather… erm…"
" …Ravishing?" Mukuro suggested.
Tsuna glared at the illusionist, who had the decency to grin gleefully. " …Fine. That." Tsuna gritted. " But really, you guys should be mature than that. And did I mention courageous?" Tsuna added, earning himself a round of confused stares (and glares). " Look, Hayato. I know you like Takeshi. In more ways than one. That goes for you too, Takeshi."
The two mentioned exchanged a quick glance before turning back to their Boss, a light blush spreading over their faces.
Tsuna smiled. He turned to the much-more-complicated-couple and frowned. " Kyouya, Mukuro… You two fight even more than Hayato and Takeshi does – and more violently too. But as the saying goes, 'absence makes the heart fonder';I noticed that both of you get restless when the other isn't around. And I've also noticed how your fight gets more violent the moment the other comes back. Admit it, you two like each other, albeit in a way that isn't exactly conventional… But you two do like each other." Tsuna said. " And before you question me further…" Tsuna continued as Mukuro opened his mouth to protest. " …I trust my intuition very much. Plus, I'm not the only one who noticed."
' Of course… There's no need to add that we've got a bet going to see if they'll get together. …And who tops.' Tsuna thought, suppressing a grin.
The male Mist Guardian and Cloud Guardian exchanged a glare but the blush that came onto their face was undeniable.
Tsuna chuckled. " Now. Listen carefully." Tsuna spoke, gaining all four's attention. " I'm going to give all of you the day off. You guys are going to bond and –I'm hoping– get laid. Now, go." Tsuna ordered. " And I'll see the four of you in my office tomorrow."
The four got up and immediately fled the room. A few minutes later, Tsuna flicked on the communication system.
" Yes, Tsunayoshi-kun?"
" Shoichi-kun… How's the sleeping quarters?" Tsuna asked, a grin on his face.
" Well… Gokudera-kun went into Yamamoto-kun's room with him. Mukuro-kun went into Hibari-san's room with him."
" Ahh… Thank you. By the way, tell the guys me and Reborn won the first bet. Get them to be prepared, cause tomorrow, we'll know the result of the second one, and I have this feeling I'll be winning again."
" Of course."
" Arigatou, Shoichi-kun." Tsuna grinned.
" So… I'm guessing you guys bonded quite nicely." Tsuna said.
He eyed the four Guardians seated – two of them rather uncomfortably – on the couch. Reborn sat on the edge of Tsuna's desk, a knowing smirk on his face. Gokudera had a full-blown blush on his face, Yamamoto was grinning happily, Mukuro grumbled under his breath while Hibari was smirking even more than usual (if possible).
" Just so I'm curious, who topped?" Tsuna asked.
" I saw Gokudera and Mukuro limping." Reborn spoke up.
Tsuna and Reborn exchanged a glance and both smirked. " Hmm. I see." Tsuna nodded.
" By the way… I haven't seen him around recently." Mukuro commented.
Tsuna's smirk fell immediately as he swiveled his chair around to glance outside the window. " Well… Thank you for getting laid." Tsuna gave a forced chuckle.
' Looks like I didn't sacrifice for nothing…' Tsuna mused.
" What sacrifice, Tsuna?" Yamamoto asked.
" …I said that out loud, didn't I…?" Tsuna sighed.
" You did, Jyuudaime." Gokudera said.
" The two of them had an argument, that's all." Reborn cut in before Tsuna could reply. He shot the Guardians a glare and none of them asked further.
" Well…" Tsuna turned back, a smile on his face. " You guys should get back to work."
A knock resounded in the room.
" Who is it?" Tsuna asked.
" Tsunayoshi-kun. There's a delivery for you."
" Come in then." Tsuna called.
The door opened and a man walked in with Shoichi. Tsuna raised an eyebrow at the item in the delivery man's arm.
" Sawada Tsunayoshi?" The man asked.
" That would be me." Tsuna nodded.
" Delivery for you, sir. Please sign here." The man held out a paper to which Tsuna signed promptly.
" Who sent this?" Tsuna asked.
" My apologies, sir. I am forbidden to tell." The man replied, bowing.
The man quickly left with Shoichi in tow, leaving the room in silent.
Tsuna glanced at the bouquet sitting on his desk quietly. There were –he counted– a total of twelve red roses, and a purple flower. The bouquet was wrapped with orange wrapping tissue, tied nicely with a blue silk ribbon.
" Anyone knows what the purple flower is?" Tsuna asked, raising the bouquet.
" That's a purple hyacinth, Tsuna." Reborn replied, a small smirk on his face.
" Purple hyacinth…?" Tsuna asked.
" Do you know about floriography, Tsunayoshi?" Mukuro asked.
" The language of flowers, right?" Tsuna replied. " I know what red roses symbolize…"
' I love you.'
" And do you know what purple hyacinths means?" Mukuro asked.
Tsuna shook his head.
" Jyuudaime… It means, 'I'm sorry'." Gokudera spoke up.
Tsuna's eyes widened.
" Tsuna, there's a card there, isn't it?" Yamamoto said.
Tsuna glanced down at the bouquet, finding that there was indeed a card there. He opened up the card with trembling hands and read.
Tsuna shot out of his chair as he pulled the desk drawer open, chucking his gloves into his pocket and roughly putting on his rings.
" Reborn, take care of Vongola for the day!" Tsuna said as he pulled on his jacket hastily. He stopped at the door and turned his head around. " Hayato, reschedule all my meetings today. I'm taking the day off!"
The remaining occupants in the room blinked in confusion as they watched the young Boss rush out. Reborn read the card and smirked.
Tsuna panted heavily as he reached the top of the stairs. With all thoughts chucked out of his mind, the brunette had, rather stupidly, ran all the way to his destination.
" I'll say… I didn't expect you to run all the way here…" A soft chuckled filled the air.
Tsuna spun around and tackled the man, making him stumble a little. " I'm sorry!"
" No, I should be sorry."
Tsuna looked up, tears rolling down his cheeks. The man smiled as he rubbed away the tears gently and lovingly.
" You're right. I suppose… I was jealous."
" But… I yelled at you. We wouldn't have argued if I didn't yell at you…" Tsuna frowned.
" Well, if it wasn't for that foolish pride of mine, I would have just admitted that I was, in fact, rather jealous."
Tsuna giggled in the man's chest. " 'Foolish pride'? A little overly-dramatic, don't you think?" Tsuna said. " Ah well… I was taught that all Bosses should have pride. Though not too much."
" Really now… You're quite the sly one, but not exactly prideful."
Tsuna pouted. " I do so have pride."
" Most of said pride was taken away when people thought that you were a female?"
Tsuna punched him playfully. The man chuckled and pulled closer, burying his face in Tsuna's messy hair.
" I'm glad… that you're here."
" The 'place of beginnings', huh…?" Tsuna mused. " Namimori Shrine… The place where we first met… and the same place that we confessed." Tsuna smiled. " Ahh!"
" W-What is it…? Why did you suddenly scream?"
Tsuna chuckled sheepishly. " S-Sorry… I just remembered. Where were you for the past few days? I thought… I thought you were gone…"
" Ahh, about that. I apologize. But to explain the reason to you, I need you to first close your eyes and give me your hand."
" E-Eh?" Tsuna blinked, a small blush coming onto his face.
He quickly did as told, though; closing his eyes nervously and holding out a hand. He felt his left hand and felt something cool being slipped onto his ring finger. Tsuna's blush deepened further as the man kissed him lovingly on the lips.
" Open them…" The words were spoken into his ears, and he blushed.
Tsuna gasped softly at the ring on his finger. It had a soft orange jewel. Tsuna squirmed as he looked at the emblem beneath. The emblem was something that resembled a clock; there was no numbers on the emblem, and only two long hands pointing in two different directions. Tsuna's mind quickly alerted him that the two long hands were pointing to, on a normal clock, the numbers one and ten.
" Do you like it?"
" Like it? I love it!" Tsuna almost squealed as he hugged the man again.
" This is the reason for my disappearance. I went to Italy to have it made. See?" The man held up his left hand, which held the same ring. " Tsunayoshi, I promise you, no matter how much we quarrel, that I'll never leave you."
Tsuna smiled as fresh tears flowed down his cheeks. " I promise you the same." Tsuna murmured, leaning up to give the other a kiss.
" Oh, and it's also a A-Ranked ring. Actually, I would have gotten it sooner, but I was too picky of the gem."
Tsuna giggled. " Typical you." He teased. " But… you wanna know something?"
" I love this ring. But… do you know what I love more?" Tsuna asked.
" …You." Tsuna said. " Aishiteru, Gio."
The blond smiled as he glanced at the spreading blush on the other's face. " Ti amo, Tsunayoshi."
" You know... You didn't really protect yourself completely from sexual harassment."
Tsuna blinked as he looked at the other. " I... didn't...?" Tsuna repeated. He stared at the other thoughtfully, then swallowed nervously. " ...Uh-oh."
A smirk crept onto his face. " Nicely summed up. Well then, I'll be having my way with you now..."
" Wai- Ahh... Gi-Gio... W-Wait... Ahhh...!"
Note: 初めの場所で私に会いなさい。- Meet me at the place of beginnings.
A/N: And the final pairing is G27~ 'Gio' is Tsuna's nickname for 'Giotto'. And… I just realised, Hibari spoke only one line in the entire fic. Oh man… ikebukurolove's gonna kill me. B-But... There's 1869 action! Hibari topped! So... Please don't kill me...? Anyways, I've been wondering, for peeps who read my other KHR fics which involves TYL!Tsuna/Older!Tsuna, are you guys okay with him? I've been wondering, because ikebukurolove said that my TYL!Tsuna always sounds very... exasperated. Especially when it comes to the Guardians. Give me your thoughts on that, if possible. And thank you for reading~
P.S.: Did anyone notice, if you exclude the whole 'place of beginnings' plus Namimori Shrine part and the gift (ring), that someone else actually fits the description of Tsuna's boyfriend?
P.S.S.: For people who are involved in the Ace Attorney series in any way, did you guys spot a tinny Ace Attorney reference? =P