Dirty Peaches 5: The Great Witch Belona
By Mitchell Coward
Published by Coward Inc
Once upon a time, before Microsoft created the Xbox360 and bubble gum actually made bubbles, there was a girl named Dirty Peaches. The radioactive animals that Dirty had fought in the last story had gave Dirty quite a scare. She quit her job where she cleaned the cellars and went back to a full time job being a waitress. Janet became a regular at the restaurant, and was there all the time. I'm not kidding, she was there from sunrise to sunset. Dirty's house disappeared one day, so Dirty moved into the restaurant with Mr. Coops and Ringo. Dirty hadn't heard from the Princess in a long time. In fact Dirty hadn't heard from anyone in the royal family. Nether had anyone in the whole kingdom. Dirty started to get suspicious. "Any word from the King or Queen yet?" asked Dirty. "Nothing," replied Mr. Coops. "I think they are being really rude or something bad has happened. You should go look." "Why am I always picked for this kind of thing?" asked Dirty. "It's what you do," replied Mr. Coops. "True," said Dirty. "I might as well go right now. Ringo! Will you go with me?" "Sure!" replied Ringo. The two left the restaurant and headed for the castle. It took an unusually long amount of time to get there because the streets were crowded. When they arrived, they noticed that there were no guards at the front door. "That's weird," said Dirty. They walked up the steps to the large door. It made a creaking noise when they opened it. What they saw amazed them. The castle was covered in cobwebs. It had been trashed. Dirty saw books laying everywhere with there pages ripped out, and there wasn't a single person in sight. "How did no one notice this!" exclaimed Dirty. "Don't ask me," replied Ringo. They traveled up to the King and Queen's throne, and what they found shocked them. A tall lady with a pointy hat on and a wand in her right hand stared at them. "WHO ARE YOU!" she boomed. "None of you're business!" yelled Ringo. "YOU DARE SPEAK TO THE GREAT WITCH BELONA THAT WAY! YOU SHALL PAY!" She waved her wand and Ringo disappeared . Dirty ran away. Belona just stood there. When she made it back to the restaurant and told everyone the news. "An evil witch named Belona has taken over the castle!" she yelled. "And she made Ringo disappear!" Dirty started to sob. Janet looked at her. She then reached in her pocket for an object that looked like a stick. She waved it over her head. When she pointed to the ground, Ringo popped up out of nowhere. Dirty Ran over and hugged him. "You're a wizard too?" she asked. "Yes," replied Janet. They celebrated for the rest of the day. The next day wasn't a day to celebrate, though. All at the once, everyone one in the kingdom was lifted into the air. They were taken to a spot in front of the castle. Then, Belona came out with the King, Queen, and Princess all tied together. "Hello, slaves!" she shouted. "As you see here, I have captured the royal family. Since you have nobody to fill this spot left by them, I thought I could be nice and become your new ruler." "YOU REALLY THINK WE ARE GOING TO TAKE ORDERS FROM SOME OLD LADY LIKE YOU!" shouted a man. "SILENCE FOOL!" She boomed. "YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR DISRESPECT!" She waved her wand in the air and when she pointed at him a cloud of smoked rose up in a circle around him, and when it cleared away, he was gone. "Now!" she yelled. "I hope you all are not as rude as he just was, because if you are, you shall have the same fate. I will be sending out some of my goblin army to keep you in line. Goodbye, for now, you worthless pieces of junk!" Belona took the royal family and went inside. When she was out of sight, a large amount of goblins poured out of the front door of the castle. They were green with pointy ears and were wearing helmets and carrying spears and shields. They started to run after the crowd. Dirty ran back to the restaurant, and so did a lot of other people. When she got there and all the other people were inside, she locked the door. "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before," said Dirty. "We know" replied everyone else. The goblins came to the restaurant, but they couldn't break through. "We shall destroy you!" one of them yelled. Dirty then got up, walked to the door, opened it, punched him in the nose, closed the door, and went back to her seat. "Curse you!" he yelled. The goblins walked away. "We've been destroyed by the Princess, eaten by rats, but now were going to be killed by a witch!" yelled Mr. Coops. "Not necessarily," said Dirty. "All of those times we won. Why couldn't we this time?" "Well she can turn people to dust!" yelled Mr. Coops. "Yes, she can, but we have Janet!" yelled Dirty. "No way!" shouted Janet. "She beat me last time!" "Tell us what happened," said Dirty. Janet started her story. "A long time ago, I used to live in a kingdom called Nerilone. It was a great place. I had a lot of friends. I was liked because I made everything better with my magic. My kingdom was one of the safest one's in the whole world. We had guards on every corner. If anything was to come, I easily blew it away. The royal family liked me too. One day that all changed. The same thing happened to us that happened to your kingdom. We didn't hear from the king that day. I went on my daily trip to the castle. I didn't think anything bad had happened. When I got there I realized I was wrong. It was deserted except for one tall lady with a pointy hat on and a wand in her hand. I asked her who she was, and the voice she answered me in was chilling. I knew she had kidnapped the royal family, so I drew my wand and attacked her with some of my spells, but it was no use. She was too good. I was afraid so I ran away. Instead of taking over my kingdom like she did yours, she started to destroy mine. Every single building I ran by was destroyed! After running far enough away from her madness, I looked back. I saw everything I ever cared about being destroyed! A raging inferno burned every building in my home down! I never saw that place or my friends again. It was all my fault!" "I'm so sorry," said Dirty. "It's okay," said Janet. "Over the years I got over it." Dirty thought about what had happened to Janet over the next few days. She tried to think of a plan, but without Janet helping her she wouldn't be able to do anything. Belona had her goblins everywhere, and if anyone didn't respect "Queen Belona" they would be destroyed. Dirty was almost destroyed, but she jumped out of the way. Mr. Coops was thrown in the dungeon for trying to fight of the goblins, and so was half of the people staying at the restaurant, for different reasons. Dirty started to get really mad. She was furious with Ringo for interrupting Dirty while she was thinking of a plan. Janet still wouldn't join even after Dirty got down on her knees and begged. She did think it was funny, though. One day Queen Belona called everyone to the castle. She walked onto the balcony with the royal family again. "I have decided to destroy this kingdom!" she yelled. "You can't do that!" yelled an old lady. "Yes, I can!" replied Queen Belona. "I've done it once before and I'll do it again!" The crowd gasped. "I like this kingdom, I just hate all of you! "Please don't destroy us!" yelled a man from the crowd. "I won't," said Queen Belona. "Under one condition. You must worship me and do whatever I say! That means you do what I tell you to, no buts, and you bow down if you see me. Do we have a deal?" "Yes, Queen Belona," said everyone. The kingdom was tortured for the next few days. She would tell them to scratch her back, rub her feet, or check her head for lice. And as soon as they saw her, they would bow down. If someone didn't they would be turned into a banana. Dirty finally realized she would have to get rid of Queen Belona on her own. She secretly created a plan with Ringo for a few weeks. Then they were ready. "We're going to stop Queen Balona," said Dirty. Everyone backed away. "Your all a bunch of cowards!" yelled Dirty. She and Ringo left. It was storming very hard. They quickly ran to the castle. Queen Balona was getting ready for her daily walk. "Hey Queen Belona!" yelled Dirty. "You're an idiot!" "Why you little!" shouted Queen Belona. She started to run after them. "Come on!" yelled Dirty. "We have to get to get to Mt. Crelle!" Mt. Crelle was the tallest mountain in the kingdom. When they made it to the top, Dirty and Queen Belona engaged in a fight. "I've got you now!" yelled Queen Belona. Dirty started to punch her, but she was to strong. She made the Queen very mad. She charged up one of her spells, and shot it at Dirty. Before it struck her, Ringo jumped onto Dirty and pushed her out of the way. "Thanks!" she said. Queen Belona walked toward them. "NOBODY MESSES WITH ME…" She was interrupted by Janet, who hit Queen Balona with a spell. "YOU!" shouted Queen Belona. "Hello!" yelled Janet. She Lifted her up. "NO!" yelled Queen Belona. Janet threw her far away. "Come on!" she yelled. She teleported them all back to the restaurant. Everyone in the restaurant clapped for Janet. She smiled. Dirty went over to Ringo. "You saved my life," she said. "I love you."