There was so much she had wanted to do.
She wanted to go back to Rome. Her first trip there, the trip with her mother, had been a bit of a mind fuck, something she had told her mom at the time. It was the only time the other woman had let her get away with cursing. They had spent a few days looking around, while taking about her dad, and some more of her mom's past. She had always wanted to go back do the city properly, the whole country perhaps.
There were a whole host of places she wanted to go, she'd travelled a lot, to different Sanctuaries, in different countries, but there were a lot of places she wanted to go that didn't have Sanctuaries. Didn't have ghouls for her to capture.
Maui. She wanted to pack a dozen bikinis and go to Maui.
She wanted to surf. Not necessarily in Maui, but somewhere. And water ski. Rock climbing. She always wanted to climb more but never had time.
Never would be time.
There had been this new hand-held missile launcher on the black market that she had really wanted to get her hands on. Something that deadly wasn't really what her mom wanted used against abnormals, it wasn't really something that could help catch anything, just blow things apart. That's kinda why Ashley had wanted it. She wanted it so she could blow up a couple of disused buildings.
Their views on abnormals had always been very different. Ashley saw monsters, her mother saw creatures. Ashley feared them while her mother revered them. It had been a bone of contention between them ever since she'd been a child and now, now she felt vindicated.
She was a monster.
She had done more damage as this abnormal experiment of the Cabal's than she had as a human being.
And she wanted to tell her mom that. Wanted to tell her mom a lot of things. Wanted to tell her that just because she saw monsters it didn't mean she didn't believe in her work, or the Sanctuary. She would've followed her mother blindly into hell if she was asked.
Sometimes it seemed like she had done just that.
She couldn't even tell her anything. She could feel her control slipping away again. There was no more time.
No time for anything else.
She wanted to go to more parties, meet more guys. Actually date some of them. The camera man, Zach, he had convinced her that maybe she had wanted more from men than casual sex. Maybe. She had still been trying to work it all out in her mind when her mind was closed so far down it had been like she didn't exist.
She wanted to apologise. She'd destroyed the very people she'd helped her mother protect, the very places she'd helped her mother create. She'd killed some friends and it hurt. She could feel it now, feel everything, but it was slipping away again, she was slipping away. She had to act soon. She had to save her mother, protect the woman who had once protected her.
It was the only thing left to do, the only thing she could do.
Her mother was crying. She'd only seen her cry a handful of times, and she hated it, it hurt more than any time she was upset over something herself. Hurt more than any wound she'd had. Her mom crying, made her cry, she felt the tears running down her cheek, but they didn't feel real, didn't feel wet. She just felt the slight pressure on her skin and knew it was time, there was no going back. As soon as she lost control of herself again, she would kill her mom without even knowing what she had done.
God, there was so much she wanted to do.
She couldn't get a single word out, couldn't tell her mom it was going to be okay, couldn't tell her she loved her.
All she could do was teleport out and hope it didn't hurt.