I do not own bleach or the world would have many screwed up problems and characters in it.

Rating is fluffy for now, but will return to mature in later chapters.

Raters and reviews are received happily, suggestions are appreciated, and flames are used to kill my enemies.

Im-hidan-not-draco.

Btw I have started posting pictures on deviant , and my profile name is hidanszombie so have a look if u choose to, but its all final fantasy at the moment (for now)

Ulquiorra sighed, his eyes half closed as he sat through yet another meeting, idly wondering if espadas could die from boredom, and overindulging on tea, but decided that wasn't very plausible. He looked out of the corner of his eye, silently groaning as he saw his mate drooling, his eyes staring vacantly at the wall above gins head. Thankfully lord Aizen hadn't noticed. "Grimmjow".

He flinched, realizing that Grimmjow was being addressed by their lord and likely to be reprimanded for sleeping. Nnoitra leaned over shoving Grimmjows shoulder, only for the aforementioned males head to roll to the left, a soft grunt escaping his lips as his eyes fell shut. Aizen frowned, and ichimaru stepped forward and said with a tilt of his head, " Grimmjows sure been sleeping a lot- ne~?" Ulquiorra frowned slightly recalling that his mate had, indeed, been sleeping a lot more that was usual. "could our Ulqui-kun be keeping him up too late at night?"

Ulquiorra shot a glance at Aizen, who merely smiled and said," we are not oblivious Ulquiorra. However, you do need to be a bit more discreet at night, Nnoitra has been complaining about the noise you two make." Ulquiorra blushed Scarlet and turned away, shaking Grimmjow and rolling his eyes when he blinked blearily up at Ulquiorra, the shoulder of his jacket wet from his drooling. " what..?" he mumbled, confusion in his eyes as he glanced around the room, before paling at the sight of Aizens and gins amused expressions. " maybe Grimmjow should go and see szyael for a physical exam, just to be sure he's not coming down with anything?", gin suggested, only to grin at the simultaneous cries of "absolutely not", and "fuck no. that creep isn't touching me, ever."

Gin shrugged an decided to leave it at that. Grimmjow yawned and got up, leaving the room with mutters of,"….need a fuckin sandwich…..". Nnoitra leaned back and yelled," make sure you have "a" sandwich and not" 20 " sandwiches like yesterday, or you're going to end up as fat as barragan." he stopped and a distant shout came back, echoing the hallways." Ulquiorra cero that fucking asshole for me". Ulquiorra didn't hesitate to fulfill his mates request. "motherfucker-" Nnoitra could be heard on the far side of los Noches.

Ulquiorra walked to the kitchens, and upon entering found that Nnoitra jibe at Grimmjows eating may not have been an exaggeration after all. He stared dumbfounded at Grimmjow before stammering," what on earth is that monstrosity you are eating?" Grimmjow glanced at his banana sandwich, garnished with mustard, chocolate sauce and horseradish before looking at Ulquiorra." my sandwich" was his only explanation as he took a large bite of the nausea inducing sandwich and it took Ulquiorra all of his self restraint not to rush to the bathroom and vomit because of the smell in the kitchen. When he was able to speak again, he grimaced and said, "how many other things have you eaten that were like that?"

Grimmjow hesitated before he gave a guilty look to the counter. Ulquiorra followed his gaze and cautiously looked in the big mixing bowl, turning a nasty colour green as he retreated from it. "What, is that?" Grimmjow shifted his sandwich before he looked to the side and mumbled, "lunch…" Ulquiorra cautiously approached the man, and carefully stated," Aizen may be right. We need to have you looked at. You're sleeping far too much, and you're eating things that even the inoue woman wouldn't have eaten." Grimmjow abruptly backed away, shaking his head in absolute refusal. He was not going to visit that maniac, he'd have a life threatening injury first before he went willingly.

Ulquiorra slid a finger under Grimmjows chin and looked into his eyes pleadingly." please, if not for yourself, then do it to put my mind at rest." Grimmjow let out a gloomy sigh and allowed himself to be pulled to the laboratory.

Once inside they were faced with an angry szyael, chasing Lumina around, who was missing an arm." come back here, ill make you again later but now I am hungry." He paused at the sight of his visitors, and stood straight. " Ulquiorra, Grimmjow , what may I do for you?", he smiled pleasantly at them, and the hair on the back of Grimmjows neck stood up. "Ulqui- I really don't want to go anywhere near him….", he said as he edged behind the other male. " I think something may be wrong with Grimmjow." Ulquiorra said simply.

"what are his symptoms?", szyael asked, a clipboard and pen suddenly in his hands.

" he eats things that even orihime could not stomach and he has been sleeping far too much than should be healthy." Szyael nodded absentmindedly as he scribbled notes, then walked up to Grimmjow. "remove your jacket and raise your arms please." Grimmjow growled before he complied, stretching his arms above his head, the muscles tensing as he looked at the scientist with undisguised contempt.

Szyael took out a measuring tape and Grimmjows file of measurements. He measured his arms, elbow to shoulder, around his bicep, then fingertips to elbow. He scribbled something before he reached out to pinch Grimmjows side, earning himself a hiss. He measured around his waist, then the width of his hollow hole, then his abdomen, before he commented," you've gained weight, ten pounds by my estimate, and your hole has shrunken." Grimmjow scowled." drop your pants please".

Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes at szyael, who just gave an exasperated sigh and exclaimed, " do you want me to give him a check up or not?" Grimmjow shrugged his hakama off, and shivered at the cool air. Szyael began to hum as he measured Grimmjows legs, then his hips. " your hips have widened slightly." Grimmjow snarled at him before growling," are you saying I'm fat?" The other man shook his head before he took out a needle and drew blood from a vein in Grimmjows thigh. "ouch.", Grimmjow shifted his weight from one foot to the other, rubbing the sore spot.

The scientist wordlessly handed him a urine and semen sample cup, and he grimaced before he went into the washroom. "for insurance I require blood, urine, and semen from you as well, for I have some suspicions, but I will not say them until I am positive", he said to Ulquiorra who went to the washroom across the hall, and when he returned Grimmjow was redressing, eyebrows quirking when he saw Ulquiorra also had samples. "it will take a few days to process these, but I will send someone to get you two when I have finished and have the results." they nodded and left, slightly unsettled by their visit to the scientist, and Grimmjow just sighed before he turned to Ulquiorra, " this day has been tiring. Im turning in. you coming with me?"

Ulquiorra nodded and followed the sexta to his room, where they stripped and got comfortable, Ulquiorra on his side with Grimmjow embracing him from behind. "g-night Ulquiorra" Grimmjow murmured, kissing the back of Ulquiorras neck before he allowed himself to drift off. Ulquiorra lay awake for a long time, thinking back on the days events before he resigned himself to the fact that they would know more in a few days time. He let his eyes fall closed, and his breathing even, slipping into a dreamless sleep.

I am sorry for the late update but I am currently behind in my science and sign language classes. Eighteen years old in grade 10. I suck in the real world but I seem to do fine on the internet.

Thank you to reviewers such as windviper who gave me the ideas for chapters 3 and 4.

I also send my thanks to collette who gave me some writing tips during my first and second chapters.

Feel free to guess the results, though I think uke grimmjow rocks and windviper already know them. Enjoy, rate and review

Also I am working on a final fantasy story where balthier gets warped out of ivalice to end up in gaia and loses his sight, before being discovered by zack fair and angeal hewley. Suggestions for that are also wanted, for I hope to eventually get them together.