Ultimate Prankster

Chap 03


The smoke cleared to reveal a twitching Ebisu, a confused Konohamaru, and a smug Naruto.

"How did you get him, when mine was useless?" Konohamaru asked.

"Three reasons," Naruto counted out on his fingers, "One, he was expecting something from you, two, the difference in our chakra levels, and three, he is just not into sixteen year old brunettes."

"How did you get him so easily?" Konohamaru poked the twitching jonin with his toe.

Naruto just chuckled. "Remember what I said about timing? Odds are he was watching us for a few minutes, so he knew that we were up to something. Seeing that he has a dislike for me, I pushed him. He was close to breaking a law laid down by your grandfather, but when I pushed, he attacked from a different angle. He attacked my core values. So I returned the favor. He was so angry that his mental focus was brittle." Naruto sighed, "I did not gain any favor with him, but he did not gain any in my eyes either."

"So, Boss. What's next?" Konohamaru asked as he turned his back on the downed Jonin.

Looking at the downed jonin, Naruto frowned. "That depends, what do you normally do at this time?"

Konohamaru looked at the sky to judge the time. "I got another hour before I must return home to wash up for dinner."

At the mention of food, Naruto's stomach grumbled. But then he had a light lunch, only 5 bowls of ramen...

"Rule number one," Naruto said in the manner of the greatest sages, "always eat a good meal. Follow me." And off the two boys went, hunting that tempting prey; another bowl of ramen.


With a gasp, the Hokage bolted upright. "I swear, that Gaki is going to be the death of me. Him and that 'sexy-no-jutsu' of his."

The ANBU snorted, "I hear that one is a 'Hokage Killer'. Had Hebi ready to cut any male that crossed her path."

"Now cross that with a hundred and twenty shadow clones that had enough chakra to henge..." the Hokage held his head as the blood flow rebalanced through his system.

The ANBU froze. "That could be bad, a hundred and twenty nude sixteen year old blondes..." his voice trailing off.

"When I threw the orb, he was not doing just sixteen year old blondes. He was doing a full spread, and I quote, 'three body types, four hair colours, five age groups.' I threw the orb, and kicked over the desk as fast as I could, and it still laid me out."

"And you still claim that he is not a threat to the village?" asked the medic-ninja.

"Only if you count being flashed by 'Naked Women' a threat." The Hokage finally made it to his feet, and stumbled over to the couch, where he slumped. "Wake me in an hour, I need a quick nap." he closed his eyes and settled in. "Oh, that reminds me," without opening his eyes, he pointed to the chunin, "Send a runner to Ibiki, tell him I need Miss Haruno here. When she arrives, she is to clean the office."



Hinata closed her eyes, and bowed her head. There were times her love interest was less then a perfect match for her.

When he had first performed this move on their teacher, the poor man had blown a gasket, but recovered quickly. Seeing as how it had effected their teacher, she had tried it at home, in her room. It had taken her three days to master the mechanics of the jutsu.

A week later, one of the Elders had been ranting about how weak she was, and the sweet, timid girl flipped through the hand signs. Three seconds as a naked full grown woman had dropped the elder, proved that she was not completely weak, and gotten her out of the elders warpath.

The Elder was still avoiding her.

She smiled, her Naruto was improving...and she was improving along with him.

Seeing Naruto lead his understudy of to Ichiraku's Ramen Bar, She chuckled and turned to head home to the Estate, stopping to prod with her toe, the dazed Branch male who had been assigned to watch her.

Rule number one after all.


The two young males were running full out through the middle of town, or at least Konohamaru was, Naruto was running just fast enough to stay two strides ahead of the boy. Many villager cheered on Konohamaru, thinking the smaller boy was going to try and hurt the Master of Orange. As they approached the ramen stand, Naruto jumped and landed on an empty stool, huffing only slightly. Konohamaru was panting heavily as he climbed on to his stool.

"Hey old man, Got a new convert for ya!" Naruto yelled out in greeting. Turning to Konohamaru, "You were talking about a shortcut to becoming Hokage?"

"Yeah, Ebisu-sensei says that he will teach me the the shortcuts to becoming Hokage."

Naruto snorted, "The only shortcuts there are to becoming Hokage, are not what we the people of this village want in a Hokage. They include murder, not just killing, but murder, torture, and other nasty things that as Hokage, we are to protect against. It is not just a position of power, It is a position of respect, honor, and..."

"Okay, so there is no shortcut to the Hokage. But why do you want it?"

"I am tired of being ignored, or abused." Naruto smiled at the waitress as she set a pile of bowls beside the old man who was mixing a pot of stock. "Okay old man, lets start with three bowls of miso, with egg. And a bowl of..." he turned to look at the youngling next to him.

"Pork, please." Konohamaru ordered.

The old man nodded. Began to work his magic.

"Abused? How were you Abused?" Konohamaru asked.

"Some people threw things at me, Many shops over charge me for things, unless my ANBU handlers are right there. In fact this is the only restaurant in the village that will serve me. Good thing that Ramen is my favorite." Naruto grinned.

"That bad? Then why do you want to be the Hokage? Why not just go else where?" the small boy asked.

"I thought about it. Many people would rather I left, but there is your grandfather, these lovely people, a couple kids from the Academy, and now you, that would be saddened if I left." looking at his small friend, "Besides, where would I go? Jiji-sama has all my money."

"And those who abuse you?"

Naruto grinned, "I am after all the Ultimate Prankster. Those who target me, get targeted in return. I can honestly say that only one Ninja can catch me in all of the Village, right now. Iruka Sensei is the only guy to catch me. Ether before my prank is finished, or just afterwords." Naruto looked towards the academy, "I looked into it, it seems that he is the former Prank master king, he surrendered his crown just after becoming a genin. I am going to hold on to my crown until I become a chunin. Believe it!"

three bowls of miso ramen landed in front of Naruto and a pork in front of Konohamaru.

After eating half his ramen Konohamaru turned to Naruto. "So 'taking' the post of Hokage is out of the question. So how do I get them to stop calling me 'Honorable Grandson'?"

"They do it out of respect for Jiji-sama. You, yourself are just a child. Until you do something that overshadows the fact you are the 'Honorable Grandson' of the Third, you are going to have to either put up with it, or ignore it." Naruto finished his third bowl. "Ahh!, now for your next trick."

Naruto hopped off the stool, stepped into the street, looked both ways, grinned at Konohamaru...and exploded into a puff of smoke. When the smoke cleared, there was a garbage can where he was standing.

The old man leaned on the counter, "Now, about the bill?"