Hello.
My name is Abe.
I used to work at RuptureFarms -
Well, really I was a slave -
At a meat-processing plant
With only ten casualties a day.
RuptureFarms is the biggest
(Or so they say).
We Mudokons had to work there
While the Sligs prowled around,
And if we worked too slow
They'd beat us to the ground.
But we thought this was normal;
We didn't find it queer,
For work was all we knew,
And orders were all we'd hear.
I didn't know
That once, Mudokons were free.
I never guessed
What it was like outside the factory.
I was pleased with my life.
I had nothing to fear.
I worked hard; I was even
Employee of the Year.
But my whole life changed
In just one day.
I crossed Molluck the Glukkon,
And I would have to pay.

We used to make Meech Munchies,
Until the Meeches were through.
We still made Paramite Pies,
And we made some good Scrab Cakes too.
I thought I had a good job,
But that was before I knew.
What I soon overheard
Shook me through and through.
How we'd make 'New and Tasty,'
I was still to find.
The truth, it turned out,
Now that would blow my mind.
The Glukkons were scared,
'Cause profits were grim.
Paramites and Scrabs
Had been turning up thin.
But Molluck was cool.
He had a plan.
The boss of RuptureFarms
Came up with something grand.
They'd chop us up,
And the new 'Mudokon-on-a-Stick'
Would bring up their profits.
That would do the trick.

I just had to escape,
I just had to be free;
I didn't even know
I had a destiny.
But some Sligs came running
With a yell and a shout.
They'd seen me on the security camera
And knew what I'd found out.
So I ran from the Sligs
Who wanted me dead.
Molluck had told them
To bring him my head.
I fled for my life
Through all of RuptureFarms,
Jumping over mines
And tripping loud alarms.
But as I fled, I saw
Mudokons just like me.
They, too, were slaves,
So I thought to set them free.
I did this by chanting,
Teleporting them away,
To the jungle outside
To live another day.
At last I found the way
To get out of that place -
Though when I rushed out,
I fell flat on my face.
When I got to my feet,
I found myself at the start
Of a deadly minefield.
How quickly beat my heart!
So I crossed the minefield
Using all of my skill,
To escape from some Slogs
Who rushed in for the kill.

I had just got past those Slogs
When the strangest thing I saw:
A big moon was before me
And its face...looked like my paw!
I slipped and fell down a cliff
And smashed my head,
When this Big-Face appeared
And told me I was dead.
Said our land was changing;
Was imbalanced, at best.
He told me my fate
Was to rescue the rest.
For Paramites and Scrabs
Had been sacred once,
Before RuptureFarms
Turned them into lunch.
Now they live in the temples;
That's where they still nest.
And facing these creatures
Would be my double test.

As I passed through the first temple,
I saw Paramites in the wild,
Living in joy and freedom
As they had before I was a child.
Then I saw what we did:
We ignored their cries.
We snatched them from their homes,
Cut 'em up for tasty pies.
I thought about RuptureFarms,
And as I realized Mudokons would be too,
Tears filled my eyes.
We too had been captured,
Enslaved and beaten.
And now we'd be cooked,
Chopped up and eaten.
That was why the Paramites
Struck no fear in me:
I had to get past them
To set my brethren free.
So when I emerged at last,
I felt stronger than ever
And the Big-Face told me
That I'd been very clever.
He chanted a chant
And I saw a bright light,
Then on my hand a scar
In the shape of a Paramite.
The Big-Face said I'd learned much
During my quest.
He said I'd been brave,
And passed my first test.
This handscar would help me,
For more dangers await.
I would need its full power
To complete my fate.

The second temple was the same:
I saw Scrabs safe in the wild,
Before the hunters came,
Before their race was defiled.
Now they're cut and ground,
Mashed into little cakes;
Their lives wiped out,
Scrabs destroyed for profit's sake.
I didn't want to hurt them
As the Glukkons had before me,
But they shrieked and charged,
Thinking I was the enemy.
I tried to sneak past,
Creeping on my toes,
And when they turned around,
Like a statue, I froze!
But sometimes I had to kill them
Because there was no other choice.
I watched them twitch and die,
Calling with a gurgling voice.
I felt sorry for them -
Those poor, ugly creatures
Who had such clumsy bodies
And such fearsome features.
But still, there was a beauty
In the way they lived so free.
I hoped I would be the same,
And live here eternally.
I felt plain awful
Every time I killed one,
Because I saw when they died
That I was like a Glukkon.
Hoping to be pardoned,
I rushed out of that place
And saw that once again
I stood in front of Big-Face.
Again he started chanting,
And lightning shot out
From his clasped paws;
I began to scream and shout.
The lightning carved on my hand a scar,
And it really hurt a lot,
But then I saw it was a Scrab
And the pain I soon forgot.

My test was completed.
I expected to rest.
Then the Big-Face revealed
The intent of my quest.
The two scars together,
On the back of each hand,
Could shut down RuptureFarms
And restore the lost land.
The Big-Face showed me
What the hand scars were for.
What once was just a chant
Now became something more.
I turned into a monster
Whose snarling face was frightening.
I could blast mines and Sligs
With my fierce lightning.
Big-Face called it the Shrykull -
Half Scrab, half Paramite.
It made me feel strong,
And I was a fearsome sight.
With hand scars complete,
The spirits took form.
Now my chant had power;
RuptureFarms should be warned!

I returned to RuptureFarms.
Let me tell you, I was frightened!
'Cause there were Sligs all over,
And security had been tightened.
I thought it would be easy,
Since I'd already been through.
But they'd added more mines
And a lot more Sligs, too.
What used to just take minutes
Now lasted hours,
Even with the help
Of my newfound Shrykull powers.
The Sligs didn't know what to do,
'Cause all their plans I'd botched
Fell to pieces before their eyes
While Molluck the Glukkon watched.
He sent more Sligs to get me;
My head was about to be chopped,
But I reached the big switch first
And the whole factory just stopped!
I'd turned off all the power
That went to the factory.
The lights all went dark
So I could hardly see.

The Sligs surrounded me
And I thought I was dead meat,
But they just hit me on the head
And grabbed me by my feet,
Then dragged me to a cell
Where they hung me by my paws.
They laughed their cruel laughs
And jabbed me with their claws.
Then they all scurried away
To get Molluck, their boss
Who clutched a big cigar
In a mouth that was always cross.
Tired of chasing me,
Molluck had had enough.
He intended to show me
That I was not so tough.
He leered triumphantly;
He grinned and he chuckled.
If I'd been on my feet,
My knees would have buckled.
He said he'd show Mudokons
What happened to deserters:
He'd grind me up and turn me
Into long strings of frankfurters.
I pleaded with all my might,
'Cause I didn't want to die.
I didn't want to end up
As chunks in someone's pie.
But Molluck didn't listen;
He'd had enough of me.
He told his Slig, "Do it!",
Ignored my every plea.
But as the Slig touched the lever
That would silence my sorry cries,
He began to scream and shake
As lightning split the skies.
The Slig was pretty well cooked;
Next was Molluck's turn.
The lightning shook him too,
And all his clothes were burned.
In a heap lay Molluck,
Dead and defeated at last.
I stared with open mouth;
It had all happened so fast!
I found out later
That the Mudokons I had freed
Had saved my sorry hide
When Big-Face saw my need.
They'd chanted up a storm
In their freedom and gratitude.
They didn't want their hero
To become Glukkon food.
Soon Big-Face appeared
In my dank and grimy cell
To teleport me out of there,
And make sure all was well.
He took me to the jungle
Where all free Mudokons met.
And that was a day
I'll never, never forget,
'Cause that was the day
All Mudokons became free.
They let up a cheer
For Abe the Hero - and that's me!