Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my clothes

Life as an evil Espeon

Paul stared into the fire. It was dark outside and his pokemon were silently staring at him. Most nights were like this. Stupid pokemon. There weren't any wild pokemon around, and Paul knew exactly why. He hated all those vile creatures with their stupid squeals. He didn't have to spend any money on repels, all he had to do was kick a few rattata's and throw a few rocks at some hoothoot's to have a peaceful evening.

An hour passed, but sleep would not come. There was something in the air that kept him on edge. His pokemon were lying around, some of them snoozing, but Paul knew that most of them were still awake as well.. He sighed and stood up. "Get up you weaklings." He kicked his torterra roughly in the belly, and it made a pained roar. The other pokemon lying around him jumped up in surprise. Why did he even take the stupid things with him ? " We're leaving." He walked on, not looking to see if his pokemon followed him. If they were too stupid to follow him they weren't worth his attention.

He walked and walked. The forest was eerily quiet and his pokemon walked unusually close to him. It was quite unnerving. His pokemon kept whimpering and shivering, and when Gliscore bumped into him he had had enough. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU ?" The pokemon cringed and looked at the ground. "Worthless thrash..." He called them back. He had no need of 5 pokemon trembling in his shadow. He walked on, only stopping when he came to a huge abyss. Deep down below, a huge river was roaring. Going on now would just be stupid. Walking on the edge of an abyss in the middle of the night... Definitely not a smart idea. Besides, it was too dark to check the map for a bridge.

Paul grunted in annoyance. He laid his backpack on the ground and laid his pokemon next to it. This was going to be a long night. Suddenly a strange sound caught his ears. A pokemon ? Paul knew almost all the cries pokemon could make, but this one was completely new. It came from the abyss. He bent over the edge and squinted. Rare pokemon were strong pokemon, and both of them were welcome in his party. A flash of milky-pink flashed by and the cry sounded again. Could it be... Mew ? Paul quickly lowered himself onto a small edge, a few empty pokeballs in his hand. Suddenly the cry died down, and he could hear nothing. Paul leaned forward ever so slightly, in an attempt to find the mysterious pokemon.

Then he slipped. He plummeted towards the roaring river, his fingers bleeding from an attempt to grab a ledge, and the empty pokeballs falling with him. Paul was shocked. It couldn't end like this ! It just couldn't ! All that training, the fighting... And now he would just fall to his death ?

He crashed into the water. The impact was huge, and his head was slammed against the stones in the river. Everything turned black.

A few kilometers away, Paul was washed on the riverbed. A huge slash on his head and his eyes dull and lifeless. Dead. The night was silent. A small pink pokemon soared over the river, it's small head looking frantically for something. "Mew ! Mew !" It hovered above Paul's dead body. "Was I the cause of this ? Was I the one responsible for his untimely death ? I am sorry young human. I will grant you life. But I cannot give you the life you are used to. I am sorry... Mew.."

Mew closed it's eyes, and a small light hovered between it's tiny paws. It steadily grew bigger, and Mew laid it carefully upon Paul's forehead. The light turned a dark purple, and then flashed into a pure white. The small rounds shape began to take form, and Mew nodded silently. "Good luck."

~The following morning~

Paul opened his eyes. He felt shivery on his legs, and his head was bursting. The smell around him was awful, and the sounds from the forest were unusually loud. What happened ? Oh yeah... The river... I am still alive ? Paul got up shakily and shook his head. When he opened his eyes, he was met with his own face, torn up, eyes dull and rolled into the back of his head. Dead. He let out a shriek of surprise. "WHAT ?" His own voice was even more surprising. What had meant to sound like 'WHAT?" had come out as : "ESPEON?" What in the name of Ho-oh was going on ? Paul tried to speak, screaming out random words in an attempt to convince himself that he wasn't what he thought he was. He couldn't be ! But his strange voice, light purple tail, and his soft paws did not go away.

Paul was an espeon. A pink, double-tailed espeon ! This couldn't be happening ! Paul sat down shakily, his forepaws firmly on the ground. He needed to calm down. Panicking never solved anything. Still, his entire body trembled. He now realized that the horrid stench was coming from the dead body lying next to him. He hunched over and let out a dry heave. It sounded like a cat trying to get rid of furballs.

He trudged into the river and put his head under the refreshing water. That helped. Paul took a few deep breaths and moved his paw over his small snout, straightening out the gleaming fur. Then he walked out of the river, not daring to look at his corpse. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. He was just hallucinating. He had bumped his head, and now he was dreaming. "It's all a dream. Yes ! That is it. I will just pinch... er... bite myself, and then I'll wake up !" Paul lifted his paw and sank his sharp canines into it, letting out a surprised howl of pain.

He stared at the bitemarks in his paw. No way... It wasn't a dream...

He stared at his body, rage and sadness overtaking him. Being dead would be better than this ! He was a Pokemon ! A foul, stinking machine of entertainment for imbeciles ! He let out a loud shriek of anger and thrashed around on the ground in anger.

"Whoa Whoa calm down man." Paul was on his feet in a split second, his fur standing upright and his teeth bared. A small caterpie stared at him from a low branch. Paul just stared at it, his teeth no longer bared, and only an astounded expression on his face. "Is that your trainer or sumthin' ? Why you freakin' out so much ? That guy was a very mean person ! He kicked me and my friend out of our tree !" Paul scowled at the caterpie, stuck his nose in the air and walked away. "Sorry. I don't talk to weak and stupid little bugs like you."

The caterpie gave him an angry look and shouted after him "I change my opinion, you are meaner !" Paul ignored him. The forest seemed a lot bigger now. Now that Paul had calmed down just a bit, he could sense an entire new dimension. It was amazing. Without needing to hear smell or look, he could sense the whereabouts of dozens of pokemon. His hearing was fine, and he enjoyed the numerous sounds he had never witnessed before. He jumped up some trees, enjoying his newfound agilty, strength and speed.

The smells lingering in the forest were mostly pleasant, but the smell of his own rotting flesh seemed to follow him wherever he went. He jumped down from the tree and took a dash towards a small lake in the forest. Dozens of pokemon were spalshing through the water, squealing in happiness as they played around. Paul was astounded to hear their small voices. Pidgey's were chatting about some oran berries, a kecleon was telling a story to some caterpie, and a linoone was singing a song for her zigzagoon child.

Paul's amazement at the understanding of pokemon language faded quickly as the high pitched squeals of the pokemon began to annoy him. Starly's, pidgey's, butterfree, poochyena, it all barked, howled, screeched and whistled, assaulting his poor Espeon ears. He swiped his paw harshly against a small starly. "Starl- OWW ! Ow! Mommyyyy !" Paul snarled and whipped his tail roughly against the shrieking starly. "SHUT UP ! ALL OF YOU !" The pokemon sent him angry looks, and a pidgey fluttered down next to the starly. "What do you think you are doing ? Starly wasn't doing anything wrong !" Numerous other pokemon joined in and assaulted Paul's ears with their horrible squeaks. Paul laid his ears flat on his head and hissed dangerously. "SHUT ! UP !" He slammed against the pidgey, and it was slammed roughly against a tree with a squeak.

The other pokemon attacked him, but Paul's senses were overloaded, and he barely noticed anything beyond the ear-ripping squeaks that assaulted him. A poochyena but his leg and he let out a cry at the sharp pain. He howled in an angry rage, and suddenly he could feel another dimension ripping open, it's power flowing through his system for a moment, before bursting out in a silent explosion. When he opened his eyes, there was silence, his attackers laying unconscious around him. Had he just used... Pshychic ? A cocky grin appeared on his face. Ah. He was strong. He was a strong pokemon. Look. All those dozens of pokemon fainted with just one hit. Granted, they were useless weaklings, but still. The silence was bliss. Like a warm bath after being a bit cold. Paul jumped into a tree and jumped from branch to branch, until he found a road. A small puddle of water lying next to it. The sun was shining brightly, and Paul found himself enjoying the light. He lied next to the puddle en enjoyed the intensified beams of sunlight. His eyes slid closed steadily and he fell asleep.

The sound of footsteps woke him up. For a moment he panicked, and he looked around disoriented. The footsteps sounded again, and Paul quickly climbed into a tree. Hiding amongst the leaves, shoving an entire nest of Weedle's and Kakuna's out of the tree in his haste. Then, an all familiar voice rang through the air. " Come on Pikachu ! Let's get to the next gym !" Oh god. Please... Not that idiot and his- "Pikachu! Yea! I can't wait to take on the next gym !" Stupid vile rodent.

Another voice answered quickly." Yes ! And then I can get a new ribbon !" "Pip piplup ! Looking forward to it Dawn !" Paul grunted. That imbecile girl Dawn with her fat flyless birdie. Just his luck. Paul laid his ears in his neck and curled his tail around him. "Haha, You two are fired up, as always." And there was the last member of the idiot-club, Brock.

Better just stay hidden from these idiots. But luck wasn't on his side. Just as Brock, Ash and Dawn passed, a stinging poke in his back made Paul fall out of the tree. He fell right on top of Ash, who let out a loud ACK and crumbled to the ground. Paul growled in panic and tried to untangle himself with Ash by clawing at him. "OW OW OW ! GET OFF GET OFF OWWW !" A shock of electricity was sent through his body, and Espeon let out a pained cry.

" Pika ! Let go of my trainer or I'll zap you again ! You're hurting him !" Paul screeched, and wriggled loose. He dashed away from Ash and his party of idiots, only to run face first into a tree. He could hear a loud crunch, and he hoped it was the tree and not his skull. He shook on his paws and fell to the ground. The world was all fuzzy and his vision was shaking a bit. He hadn't realized that running so fast into a tree could have this much effect. A small trail of blood was running over his face.

"Ah ! You poor thing !" Dawn's soft hands lifted him up from the ground, and Paul struggled weakly in her grasp. "Leave... Leave me alone woman... I... I am fine... .I ….." His vision was getting blurry, and a headache was pounding through his head. He was laid down on a soft blanket and someone was trying to wrap a bandage over his head. He swapped his paws at the hands furiously. "Espeon, please, stay still, we only want to help you !" Paul hesitated for a small moment, and let Brock apply the bandages."Look. As good as new." Paul jumped up as soon as he heard it, intending to run away as fast as possible, but as soon as he got up, dizziness hit him, and he almost fell down again.

Ash softly picked him up and stroked his fur. Paul wanted to scratch him, make him stop, but he didn't have any strength left. His head was pounding even worse, and he felt extremely heated. Ash seemed to have noticed too. "Brock ! I think... I think this Espeon has been poisoned !" Ah. So this is what poisoning felt like. Paul felt sorry for every pokemon that ever had to experience it. It was horrible. Breathing was getting hard, his vision blurring and focusing without a pattern, and a pounding headache. Those stupid weedles... "We have to get it to a pokemoncenter quickly !" Paul vaguely mewled out nonsense and swapped his paws at imaginary foes as Ash ran towards the nearest village.

Only 5 minutes later, Paul fainted. It seemed ages later that he woke up to the big concerned faces of Ash, Dawn and Brock, and he let out a shriek in surprise. He Jumped up and Snarled, his fur standing up dangerously and his fangs bared. Pikachu gave him an angry look. "Hey ! They saved you ! You could be a little more grateful !" Paul scowled and sat up proudly, his nose in the air. "If it hadn't been for you fools crossing my path this never would have happened in the first place!" Pikachu growled angrily at him, but Ash interrupted him before he could say any more.

"Calm down Pikachu, he was just startled because we woke him up ! We better leave him alone so he can rest." Paul gave him a thankful nod and sat down, washing himself to make his point even clearer. But after they had left the room and paul had finished cleaning himself, he was bored. He felt better. A lot better. The ache in his body was gone, and the headache was also gone. The wound on his head felt okay, and Paul decided he needed to get out. He scratched at his bandages until they came off and then nudged the door open as gently as he could.

He snuck through the corridors, loving the fact that he was as silent as a soft breeze in a desert. He tiptoed over to the main entrance of the Poke center and hid behind a chair. "Ah ! There you are !" Two arms suddenly wrapped around his belly and lifted him into the air. He let out a loud growl. How could he not have heard that ? He struggled against the arms, but it was in vain. The one holding him was wearing gloves. Quite thick ones too. "Mister Ketchum, your Espeon is feeling quite well again." Paul let out an angry shriek and continued to claw at the gloved hands holding him.

"Oh ! No it's not my Espeon... We found it in the forest. It was very confused and it was poisoned, so of course we brought it to a pokemon-center." Finally the hands lowered him to the ground, and Paul growled angrigly at Nurse Joy, his fur standing upright in anger. Ash kneeled besides him and laid his hand on Paul's head so he could scratch behind his ear. If it hadn't felt so pleasant, Paul would have shredded his hand to bits. "Hey Espeon, would you like us to accompany you to the forest ?" Paul almost declined, but then he suddenly thought of his pokemon. They had been a day without food now, and since he had their pokeballs made extra resistant to break-outs, there was no chance they would survive. He hated pokemon, but letting them starve would be too cruel, even for Paul.

Paul sighed and nodded silently. And so he joined them. Pikachu did not like him. And the feeling was mutual. Paul mostly ignored the rodent, turning his head away every time Pikachu came into his sight. The scent of rotting flesh was hanging in the air. Paul shivered a bit and walkd on. There was no need to show these losers his dead body. They'd probably just laugh it off, or fake some sad face before kicking his dead body and leaving it there to rot. But Pikachu didn't ignore it. "Oh my god ! I smell... I smell... Ash ! Ash Ash ! I smell something terrible ! Follow me, " Ash gave an surprised look at pikachu and stared at the pokemon. "What is wrong pikachu ?" Paul rolled his eyes.

Pikachu jumped to the ground and tried to lead them towards Paul's corpse, but Paul crossed him and shook his head. "No. I will NOT allow you to go there." Pikachu growled and small sparks flew off his red little cheeks. Paul himself readied his deadly Psychic for usage. "Whoa ! Calm down you two ! What is going on ?" Ash grabbed Pikachu from the ground and Dawn held Espeon back.

"Espeon. Why won't you let us go there ? What if it's a pokemon needing help ? We must go Espeon !" Paul cried out, once again frustrated by the high-pitched "ESPEON" - sound he emitted. Fine then, if they wanted to humiliate him by abusing his dead body, fine. Let them do it. He turned his head away and stared at the ground, walking just behind pikachu. The smell got closer, and in only a few minutes, he would once again have to face his own dead body. He expected them to roll their eyes, and wave it off. They'd probably say something like: "Oh it's just Paul. Good that he's dead. Let's go on."

What he didn't expect what the terrified shriek that Dawn uttered at seeing his corpse. Brock staggered back a few steps and covered his mouth, and Ash fell to his knees, his hands pressed over his mouth. "P...Paul..." Paul had to admit, in one day, his body had decayed more than he had thought possible. Some bird pokemon were pecking at the wound in his head, his skin was a sickly greenish grey, and a poochyena was ripping some flesh from his side. The smell was terrible, and he could hear Brock heaving in the bushes.

Ash was trembling, and he stood up. "P...Pikachu, get those pokemon off him !" As pikachu shooed off the wild pokemon, Ash turned to Espeon. "Espeon...Was Paul... Was Paul your.. .Your trainer ?" Paul stared at Ash for a moment, and then nodded. "Oh God... Paul..." Paul stared at the three trainers in amazement. He hadn't expected them to behave like this. Didn't they hate him ? Loathe him ? Despice him ? Yet here they were, crying over his dead body... Ash came over to him and held him close.

"I... I'm so sorry Espeon...Paul... He..." Paul just laid his head against Ash's chest. A moment later something wet hit his face. A tear. Ash ketchum, the person whom he had expected to hate him the most, was crying over his death. He then did something he would have killed himself for, had he not just witnissed his archrival crying over him. He licked Ash's cheek and nudged his face softly. Dawn openend her bag and got out her pokegear. "O-officer Jenny ? D-Dawn here... We... I... We found a .. a corpse...and... Oh... yes I under-understand...Yes..." A few minutes later, Officer Jenny arrived in a big jeep, a growlithe trudging at her side. They wrapped Paul's human body in blankets, and lifted him onto the truck.

Officer Jenny turned to Ash. "Let's go." Ash shook his head. "Paul had pokemon... They must still be around somewhere, in their pokeball or somewhere in the forest..." Officer Jenny nodded and rode away. Paul watched. It was very strange. He had never dared to dream that his death would have such an impact. "Espeon, Es !" Ash sighed and averted his eyes from the truck that was driving away. "What is it Espeon ?"

Paul turned around and walked up the hill. He knew that his pokemon weren't far away. Ash Dawn and Brock followed him silently, their heads hanging. It didn't take very long before they found Paul's backpack at the edge of the cliff. Paul gestured towards the 5 Pokeballs lying next to his backpack. The three trainers looked over the edge of the abyss and shuddered. "He... Must have fallen down here..." Paul looked down, and a shudder ran through him. It hadn't seemed that terrifying high yesterday night...

Ash opened the pokeballs, and Paul faced his own pokemon. They looked tired, and were very surprised to see Ash instead of me. Ash sat down in front of them. "I need to tell you guys something... Your... Your trainer, Paul... We... We found him. He's …. He's dead." The pokemon stared at him wide-eyed. Then, their gaze fell to the ground. They were silent. For once, Paul wished he hadn't trained them to be silent. Ash spoke again. "You are all free to do what you want. You too Espeon... I...I'm so sorry..." Ash turned around and walked away. My pokemon scattered slowly, each of them going their own way, without saying goodbye to eachother.

I didn't know what to do. I was a pokemon. The me everybody knew no longer existed. Ash, Dawn and Brock walked away in silence, and I stared at their backs. What would I do ? Live my life as an Espeon ? Hunted for my powers ? I ran to my backpack and ripped it open. I dug around in the backpak until I found what I was looking for. An old pokeball. It was my first one. I had used it on a Shinx a long time ago, it had broken free. I had kept and repaired the pokebal so I could once use it on a more deserving pokemon. A black P was burned into it, to show that it was my pokeball. I ran after Ash and placed the pokeball in front of him. He gave me a blank stare, and I tried to be patient. I pointed towards the Pokeball with my paw and nudged it into his direction. "Espeon... You... Do you want... me to capture you ?" Paul nodded.

Ash picked up the pokeball and pressed it against Paul's forehead. Paul felt himself getting light, and his vision turned a transparant red. Then he was curled up in a moderately large space. Pokeballs weren't nearly as small and uncomfortable as he had thought... He saw a small lock shooting into place, and two other followed soon after. A small beep signaled that the capture had been completed. Then Paul nudged open the locks and jumped out of the pokeball. There was no way he would be locked up in a pokeball all day.

That is how my new life as an Espeon started. I can't say I'm unhappy. Ash is friendly. This... adventure has changed me. Pokemon still don't mean anything to me, but I have gained a great trust towards Ash. My trainer. It sounds weird to day that, but it's true. It began when I started respecting his way of battling. He never pushed me over my limits, he held me when I was injured, he petted me, trained me, fed me, loved me... Even when I failed him he would grant me his smile and soft whispers of praise.

If I had known what I know now, I would have jumped off that cliff willingly. More and more I find myself smiling. My arrogance is becoming less and less. All because of Ash. Sometimes I climb into his bed when he sleeps. Then I just lie next to him, and let his thoughts and dreams flow into me through the veil of the other dimension. If I would ever get the chance to be my human self again, I wouldn't be able to choose.

Sometimes, in the deepest hours on the night, a sliver of my old self returns, and scolds me, hates me. How could I have sunken this low ? Snuggling up to the one I hated, submitting myself to him completely. I do whatever he asks, I am a slave. I became one of the beings I hated most. The worst part about that, is the fact that I don't want to change that. Whenever Ash calls me out for a battle, I stand up proudly, whenever he tells me to do something, I do so. All because I love to see the goofy smile on his face when we win. I don't mind being a slave, as long as Ash is my master.

How ironic that I can only love him when he cannot ever love me. I am so happy when he pets me, I am so happy when he looks at me. Every night my old self hates me more and more.

But the dark hours in the night cannot bring me to depression.

Ash's bright light dissolves any darkness that threatens to consume me.

Just like he did when I was still human.

I would die for you Ash.

I will love you.

A/N: Why an Espeon ? Because Pauls hair is purple, and Espeon is the only pokemon that I can imagine Paul to be. I made this Oneshot in just one day. BUt it might continue if I can cough up a plot. I just loved the idea of Paul dying and being reborn. I don't like the part with Mew, but mew is hard to write. Please tell me what you think. Please review with suggestions or whatsoever, so that I can continue this, or alter it.

Edit :After getting rid of all the spelling mistakes and other stuff, I have decided to put on at least one more chapter.

Lanny-Sama out !