Ronald ½

Chapter 1

A beautiful (snicker) parody by L. Morningstar

Disclaimer: I own nothing. :D


"Oh, God, Ron…I'm really sorry!"

Ron Weasley stood in front of the mirror, his jaw wide open as he stared into his reflection in utter horror.

"Hermione…what the bloody hell did you do?" He ran his long, slender fingers over the smooth, pale skin upon his cheekbones.

"Wow," Hermione Granger walked up to her best friend, braced both hands upon his thin shoulders and looked at his reflection, "that wasn't supposed to happen."

"You're kidding," said Ron sarcastically.

With a rather high-pitched moan, he sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. Silken, fiery red hair cascaded over his shoulders.

Hermione sat down beside him and patted his back. "Look on the bright side…the original spell only lasts for about two months or so."

Ron groaned. "How do you expect to fix this?" he asked, giving her a pleading gaze.

"Well, the charm was supposed to be reversed by either pouring hot water or this really complicated spell, but then that was the original charm. I don't know what went wrong…"

"Well, then." Ron sank further into the couch with a quiet whimper. "Get some hot water and see if it works!"

"Ron, are you sure you want to take that risk? I mean, on the original spell, the hot water only works for about ten times, max. And it's only temporary—lasts for about 2 hours, or so."

"I don't care!" Ron cried, standing up and gesturing to himself. "Do you not see me, Mione?"

Hermione stepped away from Ron, a smile playing on her lips. Her gaze swept from his toes to the top of his head. "Yes, yes, I see you."

"I am a girl, Hermione!" said Ron miserably, pulling his now-very loose shirt away from his chest and peering into it. "Oh…oh…God. Wow. This is creepy."

Hermione couldn't help it. She dissolved into helpless giggles at the incredulous look on Ron's face.

Ron looked up, and gave Hermione a very baleful glare. "This isn't funny," he muttered.

"Yes it is," she replied, leaning on the wall for support as the giggles overwhelmed her.

About a minute or so later, her laughter finally died down. She inspected Ron again, still with a smile.

"It's quite strange…you're prettier than I am," she mused out loud, tilting her head to the side and narrowing her eyes in careful scrutiny.

"Get the hot water!"

Hermione jumped in surprise, unused to the knowledge that a scream so high-pitched and feminine was coming from Ron.

With another giggle, she hurried into the kitchen in the next room.

When Ron was sure Hermione could no longer see him, he walked across the Grangers' living room and stared at himself in the mirror again.

How could have "one little favor" for Hermione gone so horribly wrong? First, he thought she was only practicing on him for her Ancient Charms and Spells (she needed it for the job she wanted) license by casting an ancient spell that was meant to change your voice temporarily—that is, until the person the spell was cast on drinks hot water.

And now, he was a girl. A girl.

"Oh, God." Ron moaned. He still wasn't used to hearing his voice being so…womanly. It was quite strange. He plopped back down on the couch.

"I'm back with the hot water," Hermione said happily.

"Thank you," said Ron as she handed him the pitcher of hot water. Bringing it to his hauntingly full lips, he drank from it.

Nothing happened.

"Oh no," Ron looked down on himself and noticed no definite changes. "It didn't work!"

Hermione sat down beside him. "I'm really sorry," she said brokenly. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I know you didn't," Ron said tiredly, reaching down and rolling his pants up. "Hey, check it out, Mione," he went on sullenly. "I don't have any hair on my legs."

Hermione giggled again. She reached over to take the pitcher from Ron, but her hand shook so hard from her sniggers that instead of holding the pitcher, she knocked it over.

"This just isn't my day, is it?" Ron asked sadly, looking blankly at the warm water as it seeped through his shirt and his pants. He stood up. "I'll just grab a towel from your bathroom; is that all right?"

"Yeah…Ron, listen, I'm really sorry about—" she faltered in mid-sentence. "Ron! You're changing back to…er, yourself!"

"What?" Ron looked down, and a grin broke out over his features. The morphing was astonishing. It happened so fast; within the span of fifteen seconds, Ron Weasley was now a guy who was very much dripping wet.

"Oh…" Hermione stood up, "so in this case, you need to actually spill the water to get it to work."

"I guess so," Ron sighed. "How long is this going to last again?"

"About 2 hours."

"How about the spell?"

"About half of the day," Hermione responded, "but it only works once every seven days."

"I see."

"Ron…Ron, wait." She reached out and tugged on his sleeve. "You can't tell anyone that could possibly relate this to the Ministry of Magic about what happened."

"Why not?" Ron asked.

"Well," Hermione turned a pale scarlet, "technically, I'm not allowed to practice spells on people."

"You broke rules?" Ron looked quite shocked. "I'm impressed, Mione."

Hermione stuck out her tongue, a habit he found strangely adorable when he took in the fact that she was almost twenty-three.

"Anyway," she went on, "just promise not to tell too many people."

"What, you think I want people to know I'm going to be turning into a girl on a regular basis for the next few weeks?"

"You've got a point," Hermione admitted. "Anyway, you should change out of that outfit. It's wet. I think my dad has some extra robes you can wear for the time being," she flushed again, this time at the thought of Ron clad only in her father's bathrobe.

"Nah," Ron shook his head, the tips of his ears the same shade as her cheeks, "I could just Apparate back to the Burrow…oh no!" he moaned as he heard his own voice—feminine, gentle and throaty. "Mione are you sure this lasts for two hours?"

Hermione watched with wide eyes as her best friend changed into a woman right before her eyes. Again.

"Er, maybe we should make that two minutes."

A/N: Yes, I know, what a crappy way to open up a story, but this'll get funnier as it progresses, I promise you! ^.^ *evil gryn* Please r/r!

The insanity shall continue when some of their friends find out about Ron's—predicament. O_o