[Disclaimer] Last time I checked SM is still not offering to share her copyright of everything Twilight with me.
This is an outtake for #WTHN. I felt like writing this and so I did. Plot bunnies are evil little monsters. You all know how much I heart this story. It's probably my all-time favorite of everything I ever wrote or will write in the future. I don't feel very good about my writing at the moment but this story will always have a special place in my heart. Don't know if this is enjoyable to read for you, but I guess you'll find out.
This is set between the last chapter and the epilogue of my soap fiction, seven years after Zoe was born. Just to give you a little orientation.
*Kisses, More & A Wedding*
Many love stories tend to end with something like—they lived happily ever after. We are content with that, wiping away a few bashful tears from the corner of our eye while we never keep asking what happened to Sleeping Beauty after her Prince kissed her awake.
There are no love stories that deal with what happens after the sweet promise of forever. Maybe that's because we don't want to lose the romantic illusion we have about love. It's always about falling in love, finding the one, the right one and that's it. We all cherish that amazing feeling that you're getting when you kiss someone new for the very first time, exciting, earthshattering and all consuming. Stories tell nothing about how it feels like to kiss your lover for the hundredth time, for the thousandth time. Emotions like those are never part of any story, but that doesn't mean they are one tiny bit less intense.
It's easy to fall in love, natural somehow. Staying in love though is something you have to work for every single day of your relationship. Let me tell you, it's worth it though. Well, most of the times at least.
Sometimes it's incredibly difficult not to lose that feeling of us while you're trying to deal with a teething infant who screams through the entire night. Kids are the biggest killer of romantic ever, no matter how much you've wished for them. Right now was exactly that kind of moment.
"Do I really have to come with you to Texas?" my twelve year old daughter asked me exasperated, nibbling on the filling of an Oreo cookie while I stirred around in the Chili con Carne that was cooking on the stove.
Bella cleared her throat and sighed deeply.
"Lilly, how many times are you going to bring that up again? We said, you're going with us and you are."
"But I don't want to. There'll be just old people like you and little kids like Zoe hanging around at the wedding. Can't I stay at Jane's place over the weekend?"
"No, you can't. End of conversation, young lady."
"But Jane's aunt gave her a new DVD player and a flat screen for her birthday."
Jane's aunt Didyme, who's also my boss at Volturi Inc. has a slight tendency to spoil her only niece a bit too much for my taste. When you have tons of money it's probably very tempting to make overly gracious gifts.
"I'm pretty sure that flat screen will be still working pretty fine once we come back from Texas."
"I don't want to go. Jasmine's parents live in the back of beyond. There is nothing but cows, bulls and some more cows on that Ranch. I bet my cell won't even work there."
"Whom would you have to call?"
"Jane, of course,"
"Aren't the two of you able to discuss whatever you think you need to discuss during the eight hours when you are in School?"
"They don't let us sit together anymore."
"That was probably a smart decision. We aren't really pleased about where your grades are heading at the moment."
Lilly growled and stuffed another Oreo cookie between her lips.
"Is it necessary to eat candy right now? We're about to have dinner in like ten minutes." Bella asked her, earning herself another growl from our full pubertal monster.
"Mind your own damn business!"
"Don't talk to me like that. I'm kind of tired of your behavior. You need to work on that temper of yours."
"I don't need you to tell me what to do! Everyone is picking on me the entire time. I fucking hate everything!"
She stood up from her chair so quickly that it fell down on the floor with a loud bang.
"Stay here! Where do you think you're going?"
Next thing we heard was how the door to her room was closed way harsher than it was good for it.
Bella's hands were quivering and I hugged her tightly from behind, nuzzling my face against her neck while my fingers stroked up her forearm in lazy circles.
"She's like him."
"No, she's not. She's at a difficult age right now. I'll talk to her later…when she's calmed down again."
I kissed the spot right underneath her earlobe and pulled her closer.
"Don't worry so much about Lilly. She'll be okay."
"I don't know why she's so hot-headed. It's like she's about to explode any second."
"Please, try to stop worrying so much. I'll talk to her."
I loved sewing, it was so incredibly relaxing for me and somehow I was terribly sad that I rarely had time to do it anymore. Didyme wanted to me to focus on creating new designs and most of the stuff I was designing for Volturi Inc. was getting produced overseas these days.
"I don't know if this is right." Jasmine mumbled, putting the lace trail of her dress between her fingertips.
"What? Are you kidding me? We don't have enough time to change your dress again. I swear to god, if you make me put that trail off again, I'll kill you. It took me forever to sew all the tiny crystals into the fabric."
"It's not about the dress."
Good, I thought, standing up from the ground again.
"Don't tell me you are getting cold feet or something like that?"
"And if I did?"
"I would try to knock some sense into that thick scull of yours. Honestly, what has gotten into you? Zafrina loves you. How can you…,"
"I know that she loves me. The problem is me, just me."
My alarm went on and I walked over to the table to swallow my medication down with the rest of my apple juice. I already had the tiny jagged pill in my hand but then I hesitated and shoved it down my pocket. It was so very stupid what I was doing, dangerous even. Bella would sure as hell freak if she'd knew.
"Is everything okay with you?"
"Hmm, yes of course. Don't try to distract me. Why are having cold feet? It's not about the name thing again. Is it? Jeez, for all what is holy, Jazz, if the two of you can't decide on one name, just throw a coin or something like that."
"It's not about the name. She's going to take on mine."
I sat down on the couch in the corner of my atelier and petted the place next to me.
"Come sit with me. Tell me what's wrong."
She sighed deeply and sat down next to me, playing nervously with the silver bracelet around her left wrist.
"Why does she love me? I mean, we argue practically every day. She's so terribly stubborn and dogmatic. We can't even decide on if we want to have a child or not. I mean isn't that like…essential?"
"You don't have to decide about the baby thing yet. As for Zafrina being stubborn—yes she is, very much indeed. But the thing is that you need someone like that. You need someone who speaks up to you and challenges you a bit."
"Don't get me wrong, I do love her, I really do but she is not what I expected."
"What did you expect?"
"Well, someone small and delicate whom I can protect. With Zafrina it's more like it's the other way round."
"And you are realizing that two days before you're getting married?"
"No, I knew that from the start. The thing is that I like it that way…she makes me feel…secure."
"Let me give you a clue. That is a good sign and nothing to worry about."
"I know. I'm just worried that I'm going to disappoint her. She's doing that wedding thing for me, not for herself. I wanted to get married since I was like ten or something close to that. It's not even legal; although by now I've signed so many papers she set up that my hand hurts. I love her, but what if I fuck this up. I can't fuck this up. It's too important to fuck it up and I'm the queen of fucking up."
"No woman who gets a two thousand dollar wedding dress designed by me is going to fuck up her marriage. The thing is Zafrina knows you. She knows that you are moody and sarcastically. She knows that you need to like always have the last word or that you are jealous like shit whenever another woman so much as dares to look at her. She knows all that and she still agreed to marry you because she loves you. I don't know why she loves you. I mean, you are quite nice to look at, especially right now but your character is pretty messed up if you take a closer look."
"I'm so complicated, how can she love me?"
"There is no reason why people love someone. They just do."
"No, they don't. Love is a cheap psychological trick designed by nature in order to maintain our species."
Spoken like a true romantic, I thought, wrapping the silk dress in thick layers of paper.
"That was our last fitting. Try not to gain weight during the next 48 hours or some very embarrassing things could happen while you're walking down the aisle."
"Me making a run in the last minute is the most embarrassing thing that could happen." she murmured when she pulled her shirt over her head again.
"Or in case, thatman dares to show up during the ceremony and tries to ruin it, it could end up in a blood bath."
"I thought he's not coming?"
"That's the last stand but I don't trust that. He could still show up with his usual frown and ruin the day for his sister. I have already chosen a place on the Ranch where I'm going to bury this racist's corpse in case he decides to come."
"Zafrina's brother is not a racist. He's just an asshole."
"He's an asshole who's a racist. Derek asked Zafrina if she couldn't find a suitable woman within their own race."
"What did she say to that?"
"She laughed at him and told him it would be a bit difficult to find blonde haired and blue eyed Afro Americans but that she would keep an eye open."
"She's so awesome. You are lucky to have found her."
"You're looking pale, are you okay?" Bella asked me when I returned from the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. The first days after stopping my medication were always the worst. My stupid heart needed to get used to working without extra help, and I constantly felt dizzy. It was going to be worth it. I wanted this so much, so very much.
"I'm fine, honey, just a bit tired." I whispered, leaning my head back against the pillows. She cuddled against me from behind and pulled the blankets over us. I closed my eyes while her fingertips circled over the exposed skin on my neck in circles.
"She made you change the dress again. Didn't she? You shouldn't have agreed to design her wedding gown. Jasmine is so terribly moody. Long, short…I want white…no, I want ivory. Now you are completely exhausted with all from all that and the other stuff Didyme is making you do at the moment."
"It's okay. I can handle that."
"But you're not looking too good to me. I'm worried about you."
I turned around and cupped her face between my hands, caressing the tip of her nose with my fingers until her mouth curved into a small smile.
She leaned forward and kissed my lips, slipping the tip of her tongue into my mouth to gently massage my tongue with hers. Her mouth was sweet and warm on mine and I instantly pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her waist to move my hands under the fabric of her shirt.
"You are tired. We shouldn't…,"
"I want to." I whispered against her mouth before I kissed her again, sucking her upper lip between my mouth to nibble it playfully. My hands stroked up her spine for a few moments before I pulled her shirt over her head. Then I turned her over so that I was sitting on her lap and circled my fingers over her full cleavage. So soft, so warm, so mine, I thought when I leaned forward to suck one of the rosy nipples between my lips. A suppressed moan left her throat while I licked and suckled her sensitive peaks, enjoying how they pebbled under my touch. I wondered if I would manage to make her come just with this, just with caressing her breasts. Maybe another time…
Slowly I let my tongue move down her stomach, grazing the fabric of her underwear with my thumb until she automatically bucked her hips towards my palm, searching for more friction.
"Someone is bit greedy today." I whispered into her ear, swirling my tongue over its shell while my hand stroked up and down her thighs, getting closer to her already soaked through underwear with my fingertips with each circle.
"You are teasing me. It's not fair."
"I like teasing you."
Another moan left her lips while I sucked her earlobe between my front teeth. She whimpered when my fingertips moved under the side of her panties, stroking her bare outer lips so lightly that my fingers were barely touching her skin at all.
"I am touching you."
I moved my fingers deeper, coating them in her warm, slick essence before I rolled the throbbing pearl of her clit between my thumb and my forefinger.
"Oh fuck, how much I've missed that."
I kneeled down between her legs and pulled her underwear down her thighs. Then I leaned down, spreading her open with two of my fingers while I licked her slit from her entrance up to her clit and back down again. Her legs started trembling, and I continued teasing her overheated flesh with the tip of my tongue, rubbing my fingers over her inner lips for a few moments before I inserted two of them into the velvety wetness.
Her inner walls started tightening around my fingers inside of her and I shoved my tongue into her, wanting to taste and feel as much of her climax as possible. Her essence poured down my throat a heartbeat later while I kept on circling her clit in small circles until the after waves of her lust eventually subsided.
I kissed her right underneath her belly button swirling my tongue over it before I moved higher and pressed my lips tenderly against her mouth.
"You taste like me."
"I know…you are my very favorite taste on earth."
"Mine is your essence mixing up with mine." she whispered, pulling my nightgown over my head.
"And before I forget to tell you about this, I really do like these little nothings that you wear to bed."
"Wanna know what I like?"
"Maybe I can find out if I try hard enough. Lay back and relax, my heart."
I sighed and closed my eyes, taking several deep breaths through my nose while she kissed her way down my spine, letting the tip of her tongue graze over my skin ever so lightly. Her hands reached the small roundness of my behind and massaged it in smooth circles until she parted my legs to let her fingers move up and down my damp thong.
"You trust me. Don't you?" she murmured before she pressed a last kiss right above the flowers of my tattoo.
"I want to make you feel good. I would never hurt you."
"I know." I whispered huskily, when she shoved the last piece of my clothing down my quivering legs. She lifted my lower body up from the bed, circling her fingers over the pulsating nub of my clit for a few moments until I felt her standing up behind me to grab the box with our toys from underneath the bed.
When I felt the vibrating piece of plastic against my inner lips I whimpered slightly, moving my hips back and forth a bit in an attempt to bring the toy closer to my clit.
"Now look who's greedy now. Patient, my heart…patient, I'm going to give you more, so much more."
She shoved the toy about an inch inside of me, before she pulled it out and circled my clit with it for a moment before she inserted it back into me, continuing to tease me until my breathing came out raggedly and I could feel the muscles in my stomach starting to tighten.
When I thought I was about to come she pulled the toy out of me completely and replaced it with her tongue, lapping up the slick essence that kept pouring out of me. I groaned and pressed my mouth against a pillow in order to stiffen the noises as much as I could. Then slowly, very slowly the tip of her tongue moved lower and lower, eventually nudging against the edges of my puckered hole and my entire body tensed.
Nobody had ever dared to touch me there. It was so forbidden and yet it made my insides toss and turn. Shivers of pleasure went down my spine and I felt myself relaxing again. Her fingertips circled my clit and then I felt her shoving the vibe back into me to the hilt, turning it on when it was deep inside of me.
It was too much, just too much. Her fingers drawing circles on my clit, the toy vibrating inside of me combined with her tongue doing so strangely excitingly things to me down there. I whimpered and moaned against the pillow underneath me while my climax washed over me, making my inner walls convulse around the toy and in that moment she inserted the tip of her tongue into my nether entrance increasing the unfamiliar feeling so much that I saw stars flashing in front of my closed eyelids. I came hard, my entire body trembled while my muscles clenched and unclenched around the plastic toy.
I collapsed on the bed, trying to get my breathing under control again while I started sobbing uncontrollable. It wasn't like I was sad. It was just so…so intense somehow.
"Ali? Ali, baby, did I hurt you? Are you okay?"
She pulled me against her chest and for a very long time I cried unable to control myself again while she petted my hair with her fingertips.
"Are you in pain?"
I wiped my nose on the blankets and sighed deeply, trying to ignore the pain in my chest that was cramping forcefully around it—heart attack by orgasm. Was such a thing possible? I hated my heart, hated that it made me so weak, so vulnerable.
"I'm okay." I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible.
"You are not. Why are you pretending to be when you are not?"
I tried to stand up from the bed but she wrapped her arms around me so tightly that I couldn't move at all.
"Tell me what's wrong. Please, I need to know."
"I don't want to. You'll be angry if I tell you."
I swallowed hard, trying not to look her in the eyes when I spoke up again.
"I stopped taking my pills."
"You did what? When? Why? Well, actually I don't care why. Dear heaven, how could you consider doing something so completely irresponsible?"
I tried to turn my body away from her, facing the picture of us and the girls that was standing next to the bed.
"I know you wouldn't understand."
"Excuse me when I'm unable to understand how my wife can endanger her health without even trying to talk to me about it before."
"Do you remember what we discussed last month? When you said, you didn't want another child."
"You…you stopped taking your medication because you want to get pregnant?"
Her voice softened instantly and I leaned forward, burying my sweaty face against her chest.
"It's so unfair! Everyone gets a choice but me. I want to…I want to know how that is like…to be pregnant."
"Ali, sweetheart, we had this discussion like a million times by now. It's too dangerous."
"I don't mind."
"Stop being silly, this is nothing that we can try out and start over again if it doesn't work out. Don't you know that you are everything to me? Just, everything and if I'd lose you I would die too."
She stood up from the bed, grabbing her shirt from the floor to pull it over her head again. A dry sob left her throat and a heartbeat later she burst out into tears.
"I hate it when we're fighting."
"Me too," I whispered standing up to put my arms around her. "I didn't mean to make you worry."
"You do, when you endanger your health. I feel very tempted to call your father right now to check on you, but him coming here in the middle of the night would wake up the girls and I don't want that."
I planted a kiss against her collarbone, pulling her silky hair over her shoulder to twist a bit of it around my fingers.
"Why do you want a third child so badly suddenly? I thought you and I are working on our goal to have the house to ourselves in a few years."
"I talked so much to Jazz in the last weeks and she really wants to have a baby."
"Zafrina doesn't. But whether they will have or won't have a child has zero to do with us. We already had a baby. We, not me, Zoe is our child."
"I know and I love her, I love both of the girls so much but they are not babies anymore. Babies are so cute and they smell good."
"I'm sorry to destroy your delusion. Babies don't always smell good and I really don't want to go through this potty training phase again."
"My father sent me over to bring this cookie stuff for you. Can you sign the receipt…like there…and down here." Jane asked me when she placed the bags filled with deliciously smelling almond cookies on the kitchen table.
"Your friends are getting married tomorrow, aren't they?"
"Yes, they are."
"Well, tell them good luck from me."
She twisted her blonde hair around her fingers before she spoke up again. Her voice sounding way more nervous than it usually did.
"They are like you. Aren't they? I mean, they are both women."
"Last time, I checked they were. Why are you asking?"
"It's nothing. Is Lilly home?"
"She's upstairs, re-packing her suitcase again. Lilly! Jane is here!"
Her copper head appeared on the stairs and the moment Jane saw her face her own one curved into the brightest smile I had ever seen on it.
"Jane, so good you are here. I need someone to help me choose a dress for this stupid wedding my moms are forcing me to attend with them. I look like crap."
Lilly rushed back to her room to try on one of the dozen dresses I had brought over for her from the boutique.
"You could never look like crap," Jane mumbled so low that it was barely audible. Then she cleared her throat nervously.
"Can I ask you something? How did you know that you were…I mean that you liked girls more than boys?"
"Why do you want to know about this?"
"It's nothing. Forget it, I shouldn't have asked you."
"You shouldn't have asked my mother what?"
Jane cringed, letting her cell fall down on the carpet. Quickly she kneeled down to pick it up again.
Lilly turned around, her pretty face turning into a frown.
"This is hopeless. Can I wear jeans for the reception?"
"What's wrong with the dress? It looks good on you."
"I look fat in it and you can see my boobs."
Jane blushed a bit and walked behind Lilly, pulling a bit on the straps of the blue dress.
"Your mom is right, the dress looks pretty on you."
"But it shows too much of my tits. I hate them. Every moron in school makes comments about it."
"Stupid shitheads, stop worrying about them all the time. Look, I have to go now, my mother needs me in the restaurant."
"Child labor is prohibited in this country."
"That's what you think, gioa."
She hugged Lilly and kissed her on both cheeks before she left.
"Sometimes she's acting strange."
"Who? Jane? You mean because she's working in the restaurant of her parents so much?"
"No, that's not what I meant. It's just…I don't really know. The way she's looking at me sometimes is so irritating. Maybe she thinks I'm fat and is too nice to bring it up?"
"I'm sure she doesn't think you are fat. In fact no one thinks you are fat. You are just curvy. Being curvy is good."
The thing with crying is that when you are trying your hardest not to do it, it's usually most difficult to hold back the tears. My hands cramped around the tissue between my hands while I sobbed like a baby, unable to compose myself no matter how much I tried to remind myself that my eye makeup would be smeared down my cheekbones by the end of the ceremony.
Weddings always made me cry, always. God, this was so embarrassing.
"Mommy, why is Momma crying?"
"Pssst, Zoe, you need to be quiet."
"But I want to know. Is she sad?"
Lilly pulled her on her lap and placed one finger on her mouth to silence her sister. Then she leaned forward and whispered something into her ear that made the little girl giggle.
"That is funny."
"Zoe, be still now."
"When can I give Jasmine my present?"
"Later. Please, be quiet now. I don't want people to look at us because you can't be silent for a few minutes."
"I wait with her outside." Lilly murmured, lifting her up to carry Zoe out of the tent where the ceremony was held.
Zafrina had convinced Jasmine to get tattoos instead of wedding rings and the whole procedure seemed to be taking forever after they had exchanged their vows.
Finally it was done and I could wrap my arms around both of them.
"I'm so, so, very happy for the two of you."
"Thanks, Ali, for everything."
Bella placed one arm around my waist and handed me another tissue to wipe my tear-covered face.
"I don't know why so many women are crying on weddings." Zafrina stated when she hugged me tightly.
"It's so romantic."
"Yes, it is. Thanks for helping my wife with the decoration and stuff when I felt very much like running away from all the discussions about whether we need or don't need daffodils on the tables."
"We should have ordered them."
"If you think so, cowgirl,"
"Jasmine, Jasmine! Can I give you my present now? I made it myself."
Jasmine kneeled down in front of her what was difficult with the dress. I had told her that she wouldn't even be able to pee on her own with this crinoline but she had insisted that she wanted to have it exactly like that.
"That's the prettiest picture anyone has never made for me."
"That's you and Zafrina with Amarillo."
"And what are the little guinea pigs doing down there?"
"Jasmine, can't you see that are puppies. I really want Amarillo to have some. They are so cute."
"Oh sweetie, I don't think that's such a good idea. Puppies are a whole lot of work. You need to feed them and take them out all the time or they will pee insides the house."
"Human babies are much more work." Zafrina murmured, grazing the shell of Jasmine's ear with her front teeth.
"Let's not discuss this now. I'm too happy to get mad at you again about your stubbornness."
"I'm not stubborn. I just happen to have an opinion on this subject that differs from your own."
"But I'm right. You'll see that. I know it."
Zafrina cupped her face in her right hand and pulled her closer, while I turned around to kiss Bella's mouth tenderly.
"Can we go for a little walk? There are way too much people around here for my taste."
She nodded her head and took my hand in hers to rub circles all over my wrist while we strolled through the empty house of Jasmine's parents. It was huge and when I first came here I had thought it to be a palace.
"It's nice here, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is. A bit too big for my taste though."
"Have you been here often before?"
"Just a few times but that's so long ago that I don't even remember it that good."
We opened the door to the library. Who on earth has a library inside their house? Bella walked through the shelves touching the expensive first editions with her fingertips.
"This is the most magnificent collection I have ever seen. They must be rich like crap to have something like that in their house."
"They are. Jasmine doesn't give one tiny bit about that, what is probably a good thing."
I hugged her from behind and pressed her against the wall between two book shelves.
"Did I ever tell you why I love it so much when you are wearing dresses?" I murmured against her neck.
"I don't think so. Is there a specific reason?" she whispered when I moved my hands up he thighs, circling my fingertips over the fabric of her underwear.
"I like them on you, because they give me such easy access to your womanly parts."
She whimpered when I rolled my thumb up and down her slit a few times.
"We can't…not here. We'll get caught."
"No, we won't. Try to relax. I want you and I want you right now."
My fingertips slipped underneath her panties to pull them down her legs.
"There is nothing I will ever want so much as being with you, Bella."
I kneeled down behind her lifting up her dress to disappear underneath the burgundy silk hem. Slowly, teasingly I kissed my way up her inner thighs. Then I flicked the tip of my tongue over her outer lips spreading them open with my fingers to lick her slick folds from her entrance up to the tiny sensitive pearl of her clit.
There was something about having sex when you risked being caught that was so very exciting. I loved that. It was wrong but yet I couldn't stop myself on trying to seduce my beloved wife in the most uncommon places. At first she was usually hesitating, but while we were at it and I teased her with my fingers and my tongue she started developing a lot of enthusiasm in the whole thing.
"Yes, right there. Oh fuck…oh…oh fuck."
I licked her greedily, enjoying how her sweet essence poured down my throat. I shoved one fingers inside of her coating it in her wetness before I pulled it out again to circle it lower until its tip reached her puckered hole. This was so new, so strange for both of us and that was random when you've been with someone for so long like we had with each other. I pulled her closer against my face, swirling my tongue over her clit while my finger pressed gently against the rosette of her ass, carefully dipping it about an inch or two inside of her while her climax made her legs tremble so much that she lost her balance and both of us landed on the floor.
"Ouch!" she whimpered, holding her hand against her left temple
"Did you hurt your head on the shelf?"
"A bit, good thing I have such a hard scull. It's not that easy to break."
"Come here, baby. Let me kiss it better."
I put one arm around her bare shoulders and pulled her closer against my chest, blowing lightly over her temple before I planted a soft kiss right on it.
"We can't stay here for the rest of the evening. Can we?"
"Just five more minutes,"
I giggled and nuzzled my face against her neck to inhale her flowery scent.
"Just five more minutes,"
"You sound like Zoe when she doesn't want to go to bed."
"And then I can't wake her up in the morning."
"Hmm, I know."
She took my hand in hers and rubbed her fingertip over my wedding ring, seeming to hesitate for a moment before she spoke up again.
"Do you really want another child so much?"
"I do or I don't. It's such a difficult decision and I know that you don't want one."
"If I told I wanted one you'd say yes to it within seconds. I get dizzy thinking of how fast you'd call Benjamin to fly here in order to donate again for us." she stated, placing kisses on each of my knuckles.
"That's not the point."
"Yes, it is. I want to know if you want one, not considering my opinion on the subject."
"I'm still not sure."
"You stopped taking your medication although you're not that sure? I don't really buy this."
I sighed and took her hand in mine, placing it on my flat stomach.
"I wished I knew how that feels like…when the baby is inside of you. When it grows and lives just because you live. It's such a miracle."
"You want to know what's a miracle? You and me. That the two of us found each other. I love you so much."
"I love you too."
"We could go to see some other doctors, trying to get a second opinion or a third one. If you want to have this baby so badly, we'll find a way."
I cupped her face between my hands and pulled her closer, stopping about half an inch before my lips touched hers. Her mouth found mine and I felt myself starting to smile against her velvety lips when the familiar warmth spread through my entire body.
Here's the thing. Kissing the woman you love for the thousandth time is nothing like kissing her for the first time. It's better, way better. First kisses are nothing but a promise, a promise of things to come, of a love possible to be, but nothing more. This here is so much more, because we are so much more. Each time she kisses me, she says yes to what we are, what I am to her and it's so much. It's too much to put in just one kiss, but there are more to come, always more…