Summary: Set during Fifth year. Jace Beleren and Chandra Nalaar end up teaching Defence against the Dark Arts. Hilarity, Umbridge-bashing and the plots of Voldemort allied with Sorin Markov ensue.
...and just where do Liliana Vess' loyalties lie?
"...it's out of the question." The figure in blue robes raged. "I cannot remain in this plane for an entire year just to teach your younglings to-"
"And I am not spending more than ten minutes in Jace's company!" the Redhead yelled, pointing at Dumbledore's face.
"...like you could ever stand a chance agaisnt me, Chandra..."
"JACE, I AM WARNING YOU, SHUT UP OR SO HELP ME URZA-"
Jace and Chandra stared in disguist at the ministry hag in the corner of the room.
"...is it a toad, or...?" Chandra muttered. Jace smirked.
"Well, proffessor Dumbledor, seeing as these two cannot stand the position you realise that I must take the-"
"WE'LL TAKE IT!"
Umbridge stared at them in shock.
Jace and Chandra glared back.
Dumbledore smiled. "Excellent...Madam Umbridge, if you would be so kind as to inform the minister for magic...?"
Umbridge left, flouching.
Jace and Chandra glanced at each other.
"This isn't going to end well..."
"Shut it, Emo-boy."
**Later that year...**
"And so, it is with great pleasure that I can introduce you to our new Defence against the Dark Arts teachers." Dumbledore stressed the plural. "Proffessor Jace Beleren and Assistant Proffessor Chandra Nalaar."
Jace and Chandra bowed to the students.
"Proffessor Beleren, if you would be so kind as to say a few words..."
"Of course, Albus." Jace muttered, moving towards the podium. "...work hard, don't mess up, and don't misbehave because I can AND WILL read your mind to check."
The students stared at him in horror, especially Fred and George.
Jace sat back down. The applause was slightly less enthusiastic than before.
"Erm...assistant proffessor Nalaar?" Dumbledor offered, slightly nervous. 'Mind mages...this was a bad idea...should have asked Venser...'
Chandra was already there.
"Ignore him, he's a boring git." Chandra pointed at Jace.
Jace scowled and several flares of blue mana floated around his hand.
"...anyway, I am much more fun and enjoy a good prank, as Jace will find out in five...four...three...two...one..."
Jace's steak exploded, to much cursing. The students and quite a lot of the faculty laughed.
"Wicked." Fred and George said at the same time.
"...see you in class."
Much, much applause.
Then Umbridge got up for her speech.
Jace fell asleep inside his hood.
Chandra had no such liberties and had to listen to all of it.
"...Jace, you're a jerk."
Harry, Hermione and Ron were discussing the new teachers on the way back.
"Chandra looks like a laugh, doesn't she?" Ron muttered, leading some first-years up to the dormitory. "Jace looks like a right pain, though..."
Harry grinned. "Don't you realise? Malfoy can't hide anything...Jace can read his mind..."
The three stared at each other.
"Blimey. I never thought I'd hope to have defence against the dark arts at the same time as Slytherin." Ron said in disbelief. Hermione sighed.
"...you two...at least we ended up with them instead of that Ministry hag..."
They shuddered. "Good point."
"...we do have DADA with the Slytherins this year."
"... I can't decide to be happy or sad about that." Harry admitted.
Jace stared at his class.
The class refused to meet his gaze.
"...I am going to be instructing you on a very different type of magic." Jace drawled. "Mana-related magic. Who can describe what Mana is..."
He turned towards the board.
Hermione's hand shot up.
"Yes, Miss Granger?"
Back still towards the class, no mirrors, no wands...
Chandra shuddered. Jace gave her the creeps.
"Mana is a power source derived from various organic materials."
"Excellent. Five points to Gryffindor. Can anyone OTHER than Miss Granger tell me what the five colors of mana are..."
To general surprise, Neville's hand went up.
"Yes, Mr Longbottom?"
"Excellent, another five points. Someone from Slytherin, now, if you will...what are the strengths of each type?"
"...Mister Malfoy. Stop doodling and tell me the answer to this question: what are the abilities of Black Mana related magic?"
Malfoy's head shot up.
"...Er...I don't know?"
Jace sighed in exasperation.
"...Miss Granger, please stop trying to contain your excitement, you might explode."
His back was STILL to the class. The class snickered.
"You might as well tell us, now..." Jace said, turning around. "What are the strengths and abilities of Blue Mana?"
"er...Blue involves...mental manipulation?"
"Very good...Blue Mana Magic involves illusions, trickery, counters and mind-manipulation to defeat its foes. It lacks brute force, such as that found in...Mr Longbottom?"
"Er...Green Mana, which revolves around strength and plant life?"
And suddenly Neville's knowledge about Mana makes sense.
It helped his herbology skills.
"Very good...not just plants, of course, but animals as well – DETENTION, MISTER MALFOY!"
Malfoy dropped his quill.
"For thinking about using a tongue-twister hex on Mister Longbottom." Jace snapped. "Ten points from Slytherin."
Malfoy opened his mouth to protest. Jace produced a blue rune out of nowhere.
"These are your thoughts from five seconds ago...do you want the class to see them or should I let you keep your privacy?"
Malfoy slouched down.
"Privacy it is then. Anyway...Green Magic revolves around Plant and Animal life, as well as minor protection abilities and amplifiying your own strenght and toughness..."
Bang. The door flew off its hinges and hit the back of Goyle's head.
No harm done.
Chandra walked into the room through the smoking remains of the doorframe.
"Sorry I'm late, Jace."
"...I'm sure Chandra can explain Red mana to us, then." He muttered, pouring himself a cup of wine from his silver hip-flask. He was gonna need it. Chandra grinned.
"Red mana...lets see...Red mana is also known as 'fun' mana, because it lets you do this!"
She threw a lightning bolt across the room.
Meteor shower plummeted towards the forbidden forest. Jace cast a counterspell, and the meteors were safely reabsorbed.
The class had a brief debate on whether summoning the meteors or making them vanish with a wave of your hand was cooler, before Jace cleared his throat. Everyone shut up.
"Less enthusiasm, Chandra..." He drawled. Chandra sweatdropped.
"...sorry, Proffessor. So...Red mana lets you cause damage to your opponent with spells...any idea what White mana does, anyone?"
Seamus' hand shot up.
"Is tha' the one that heals stuff?"
"Heals and protects, yes. A very...defensive color." Chandra muttered something about 'Cowardly Elspeth and her force fields...'
Jace decided to step in before Chandra corrupted minds.
"And black mana is the opposite. It revolves around Death, and victory through harming yourself." He said calmly. "It does not necessarily lead to evil, but it's not pleasent either."
The bell rang.
"No homework. Next class we shall find out what color of mana you can use...and see if we need to call in other people to teach you how to use it or not."
The students left.
Chandra rounded on him.
"Please tell me you're not bringing Garruk or Elspeth or, god forbid, Liliana here."
"All of them."
"...I'm going to hit my head against that wall now."
"...have fun with that." Jace said dryly, as she walked over to a nearby wall and started applying her forehead in a perfet 50BPM tempo. "I'll be in my office."
Chandra stopped."You have an office?"
"Yes, and its warded to keep you out." Jace growled, walking into it and shutting the door.
Chandra threw a lightning bolt at it.
Jace's wards caused them to fly out of the window, into Dumbledore's office, and hit Fawkes, who went through the whole Pheonix Rebirth thing two years early.
Chandra decided then and there to never try and enter Jace's office ever again.