Disclaimer: JE owns them. I do not. This should be sung to the tune of "O Little Town of Bethlehem."


O Little Town of Chambersburg


O little town of Chambersburg
How fast the gossip's passed.
Who did what and where and when,
The questions, they are asked.
But in a building uptown,
A group of men delight,
In keeping safe the one they love,
From cops and moms alike.

One day a bad guy runs from court,
And Steph is the chosen one
To hunt him down and bring him in,
She won't even use a gun.
The bets start flying quickly,
They even asked dumb Picky.
Will cars explode or Joe implode,
The stress will make him sickly.

Now Steph gets in a tight spot,
And who does she think to call?
Not Joe, not Connie or Lula,
But the sexiest bad-ass of all.
Ranger comes to her rescue,
And doesn't leave her side,
When up in flames her new car goes,
Nothing changes in his eyes.

Joe shows up and rants and spits,
And Steph just rolls her eyes.
She says, "We're through, and you're a shit."
"Goodbye, Joe. I won't miss your lies."
Ranger drops his blank face,
Then takes her to his home.
He says, "Surprise, Babe, it's on seven,"
And Steph knew she'd found Heaven.