Mia Thermopolis, Two-Timing Girlfriend

Summary: At Mia's tutoring session with Michael, they finally kiss each other. About TIME! Then one kiss turns into two, then three, and so on…Problem is, she's still going out with Kenny….

Rating: PG

Genre: Romance/Humor

Characters: Mia's POV

Disclaimer: Meg Cabot owns the Princess Diaries, I don't own anything, so don't sue. Let me make that perfectly clear. Don't sue.

Sunday, November 15th

I have sunk to an all-time low.

Seriously. This isn't about me being a princess, having my Algebra teacher impregnate my mother and then marry her, or about having no breasts. Those things I can't control.

This? This I could. I, Mia Thermopolis, have become a two-timing girlfriend.

I can't believe this!

Okay. Must. Breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Nose, mouth. Nose, mouth. Nose-

How could I have done this????? How?

Let me start over at the beginning. I went over to Michael and Lilly's apartment because Michael had offered to tutor me in Algebra. I went over there and Michael opened the door-(wearing this amazing black tank that looked great on him) since everyone else was out. Maya had the day off, Lilly was out with Boris, and Michael's parents were having a romantic dinner together.

So we sat down and started studying.

Or I should say, we attempted to study, I was unable to concentrate. And can you blame me? I mean, Michael was so close-and he smelled and looked great-

So we ditched the books and Michael got out his guitar and started playing Tall Drink of Water.

That song…it just takes you out of yourself. I mean, it's so haunting and sad and beautiful….

I told Michael that, and he smiled at me. By the way, he's got a great smile.

Then-I just couldn't take my eyes off his face. I just couldn't.

And the really amazing thing was, he couldn't take his eyes off of me.

Then-then he slowly leaned in and kissed me.

I am not even kidding. Michael Moscovitz actually kissed me! I was kissed by Michael Moscovitz!

When we stopped kissing, we just stared at each other in shock. I was trying to get my mouth to form words when Michael asked me if I wanted to stop.

I, being unable to speak, just shook my head.

So then he kissed me again. And again, and again….

There I am, in the middle of a make-out session with Michael Moscovitz, the guy of my dreams, and then Kenny pops into my head.

Kenny. As in Kenny Showalter, my boyfriend!

Oh, God. I'm cheating on Kenny. I'm cheating on my boyfriend! I mean, yeah, he's obsessed with Japanese anime, and he doesn't make my palms sweat when he kisses me, and he's way too smothering, but he's still my boyfriend.

So like the huge big-mouthed idiot I am, in between the 16th and 17th kiss, I mutter, "Kenny. What about Kenny?"

Michael, in between the 17th and 18th kiss, mutters, "Screw Kenny."

I go, "Okay," and I promptly resume making out with Michael, forgetting all about Kenny.

Oh, God. Have I mentioned yet that Michael is an amazing kisser? Believe me, the boy knows how to kiss.

Just then, Michael's parents just had to walk through the door, saying, "Hello? Michael? Are you here?"

We stopped kissing and stared at each other. We'd been doing that a lot that day. I said softly, "I better go."

Michael said just as softly, "Yeah. I guess you should."

I grabbed my stuff, and in total shock, left the apartment, avoiding the Drs.Moscovitz.

So, here I am writing this and trying not to freak out. But how can I NOT freak out? I think I've got a good excuse to freak.

After kissing Michael, I know that I can't keep going out with Kenny. I mean, every time he kissed me, I'd be remembering what it felt like to kiss Michael. And that's just not fair to Kenny. I mean, he deserves a girlfriend who won't cheat on him with another guy.

I am feeling so guilty right now.

So I called Kenny and asked him to come over to the loft, and I also asked Mom and Mr.Gi-I mean Frank, to not hang around here.

Kenny could totally tell that something was wrong. But I told him that I'd tell him when he got here. I mean, I couldn't break up with the guy over the phone.

I need to tell him, face to face. Tell him…what? That it's not him, it's me? That I was making out with Michael and I realised that I didn't like him? That I still want to be friends?

I have no idea how to break up with him. Then, seeing as how he was my first boyfriend, that's not so much of a surprise.

My mom told me to be kind and considerate, and not to say anything that I wouldn't want to be told if I was in his position. Frank agreed, but warned me not to say anything that wasn't true. 

The intercom just rang. Oh, God, it's him.

I just had a horrible thought.

What's Lilly going to do when she finds out I kissed her brother?



I feel like scum.

I just broke up with Kenny.

I remembered what Mom said and I tried to be as gentle as possible.

Kenny looked heartbroken, but he was really nice about it. Which made me feel even more like scum. Complete and total scum.

God, how much of a low-life am I? I just dumped a guy, and I'm actually feeling relieved

Oh, crap. Who's going to give me the answers in Bio now?


Monday, November 16th, 2001

Oh, crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap, crap, crap, I am in SO much trouble. My dad looked ready to kill me. I will never be able to go outside again without ten armed bodyguards, helicopters hovering over the area I am, and police cars following me around.

I screwed up. I screwed up BIG TIME.

God! Of all the places to-

I know I'm not making any sense. So let me start at the beginning.

After Kenny left-twinge of guilt at thought of Kenny-I called Lilly and told her what had happened-minus the whole Michael thing.

Lilly was in shock. I mean, she had no idea that Kenny and I were having problems. Which is kind of surprising, when you think about it. Lilly usually isn't that dense.

She was kind of pissed off about it too. She'd thought that Kenny and I were the perfect couple. God knows where she got that idea.

Then she mentioned that Michael had been wandering around the apartment like he was in shock or something. Whenever she asked what was going on, he insisted that he was fine.

Oh God. I tried to be casual and all, but Lilly's known me for forever. She knew that something was up.

Lilly: Mia, what's going on? Did something happen while Michael was tutoring you?

What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, nothing much, Lilly. Just that your brother and I made out for most of it, but other than that, nada.'

Me: Nothing.

Lilly: Mia, out with it.

Me: No, nothing happened, I swear!

Lilly: (snorts) Mia, you suck at lying.

Me: I am NOT lying. Anyway, I've gotta go, Lilly. Bye!

Lilly: No, Mia, wait-

CLICK. I hung up.

When I picked Lilly up, Michael wasn't there. Lilly said that he went to school early.

I was torn between feeling relieved and disappointed.

For the entire day, Michael and I avoided each other. During G&T, Michael and Boris played computer games while I did my Algebra homework.

That was the first time in my life that I was actually glad to have Algebra homework.

Lilly didn't say anything, but she kept glancing from me to Michael with this puzzled look on her face.

Even Lars could tell something was up. During Bio, he asked me if everything was all right. I of course, said everything was fine.

Speaking of Bio, Kenny's still my partner. He said that he didn't want to lose the one friend he had that agreed with him about the sanctity of all life, and most of the guilt I was feeling disappeared. Kenny really is a nice guy. Things are still awkward between us, but I think everything's going to be fine.

After my review session with Mr. Gianini, I mean Frank; I went out to see Michael waiting for me in the hallway.

Michael: We need to talk, Mia.

Me: (sighs) I know.

Michael: Uh, could Lars stay here?

(I look towards Lars.)

Lars: Okay. Just stay nearby.

(Michael nods and leads me to the janitor's closet, two doors away.)

Michael: Lilly told me about what happened between you and Kenny, and if it was about what happened yesterday-

Me: Michael, I broke up with Kenny, and it wasn't about-that wasn't it.

Michael: Oh.

Me: Is that it?

Michael: No. Mia, I-we probably should talk about it, though.

Okay, I don't know why I blurted this out. If I hadn't, none of this wouldn't have happened.

Me: Or we could just continue from where we left off- (I stop suddenly, looking horrified)

Michael: (looking surprised, then grins) Okay.


(Principal Gupta walks into the janitor's closet and sees me and Michael kissing.)

Principal Gupta: What is going on here?

(Michael and I jump away from each other.)

Michael: P-Principal Gupta! We-uh-that is to say-

(Principal Gupta stares at us in shock while Michael stammers and I try to wipe off the smeared lip gloss on my face. Lars runs up and stares at us in surprise.)

Principal Gupta: Both of you in my office, NOW!

So there we were, getting chewed out by Principal Gupta. Then she called our parents. We were told to wait outside while she talked to our parents. My mom didn't answer the phone, so she called my dad.  Oh, I was screwed.

(Outside in the hallway. Lars, Michael, and I are sitting on chairs, staring at the space in front of us.)

Me: I am dead.

Michael: Ditto.

Lars: (in shock) I'm going to get fired.

(I stare at Lars in shock.)

Me: What?

Lars: Your father is going to kill me. I let you make out with a boy in a janitor's closet in your school? He's going to have a fit!

I groan. Oh, no. Lars might get fired because of me!

Michael: God, Lars, I'm sorry-

Lars: Forget about it, Michael.

(Principal Gupta opens the door.)

Principal Gupta: You can come in now.

Me: We're dead.

(In the limo on the way to the loft. Dad is glaring at us while Lars and I shift uncomfortably in our seats.)

Dad: (finally speaking) What were you thinking?

Me: I don't know.

Dad: Just who is this boy? And what happened to that boy you were dating, what's his name-Kenny?

Me: We broke up. And that was Michael Moscovitz.

Dad: The boy you were dating?

Me: No. The boy I was making out with in the closet.

Dad: Oh. (turns to Lars) And you! What were you thinking, letting her go off with this boy to do God knows what?

Me: Dad, it wasn't Lars's fault. I told him to wait outside!

Dad: (pointing towards me) And you listened to her?

Me: (resentfully) Dad, you should talk. You have a new girlfriend every week! And you do a lot more than Michael and I did.

Dad: (stammering) But that-well it-we-I-

Me: And I've known Michael for eight years. It's not like he's a complete stranger. Shouldn't we be focusing on my successes, like me pulling my F in algebra to a D?

Dad: How about we focus on the fact that you've got detention for the entire week?

(In the loft. Dad has just filled Mom and Frank in on the day's events.)

Mom: She was making out in school?

Frank: In the janitor's closet?

Mom: With Michael Moscovitz?

(I put my head into my hands.)

Mom: Mia, what were you-

Frank: (simultaniously) How could you do something-

Mom: -thinking?

Frank: -so irresponsible?

Me: (with head in hands) I don't know, okay? It just happened.

Mom: Have you even considered the fact that Michael's a senior and he's leaving at the end of the year?

Dad: (leaning back in his chair) Oh, this just gets better and better.

(Lars coughs and everyone turns to stare at him.)

Lars: May I say something? I happen to know for a fact that Michael has had feelings for Mia for a long time, but was-er-unable to voice them.

Me: (taking head out of hands and looking at Lars hopefully) Really?

Dad: Well, why didn't he say something?

Lars: (shrugging) Well, she was three years younger than he was, he had no idea how she felt, she was his little sister's best friend, and there was the whole princess thing. Oh, and the fact that she had a boyfriend.

So, here I am, writing this. Basically, I'm grounded for a week. For the first time in my life. The only things I can do are go to school, review sessions, detention, and princess lessons with Grandmere. Ugh.

Lars isn't going to be fired, thank God, as long as nothing like this ever happens again.

As soon as I'm not grounded, Dad wants to meet Michael and grill him as to why he thinks he's good enough for me. That's not going to be fun.

I am, luckily, allowed to go on the Internet. When I got on, someone was instant-messaging me. It was Michael.

I've pasted our conversation here:

CracKing: What a day.

FtLouie: No kidding. Frank's stunned, my mom's in shock that it was YOU I was making out with, and my dad's ready to send me to a convent. How about you?

CracKing: My parents were in shock. They had no idea that I had a thing for you, much less that it had been going on for eight years. They think it reflects on their abilities as psychoanaylists and parents.

FtLouie: You had a thing for me when I was SIX! No way.

I can't believe it? All this time, I had a sweet, gorgeous, smart guy after me and I didn't even know about it! Think about what it would have done for my self-esteem!

CracKing: Yes, way. So, do you?

FtLouie: Do I what?

CracKing: Have a thing for me.

What, he didn't know? For someone who is so smart, Michael can be just as dense as his sister.

FtLouie: I should think that was pretty obvious, Michael.

CracKing: You were obvious? What about me, huh? Remember Tall Drink Of Water? Just who did you think that song was about?

FtLouie: I don't know! It's just-you never really acted like you were interested.

CracKing: Thermopolis, what are you, BLIND?!!!! I tutored you in algebra, walked around without my shirt, purposely hung around Lilly when you were in the apartment-what more do I have to do?????

FtLouie: Okay, okay, I get it. Jeez, now who's using excessive punctuation?

CracKing: Ha, ha. How's Lars? Is he fired?

FtLouie: No, but he is on probation. So, what are we?

CracKing: Huh?

FtLouie: You know. Is this a one-time thing, or are we-you know, going out?

CracKing: Do you want to go out?

Now, normally I'd be terrified of this kind of question. But-I don't know, we'd been telling the truth so far. Why should I stop now, at a question that is really important?

FtLouie: Yeah. I do.

CracKing: Then we are. Simple.

FtLouie: Really?

CracKing: Yeah. Really.

FtLouie: Okay. Good.

CracKing: Oh, crap.

What? I thought he wanted to go out with me.

FtLouie: Glad to know you're so thrilled to go out with me.

CracKing: No, no, it's not that. What's Lilly going to say when she finds out?

FtLouie: Aaaah!

CracKing: Exactly.

We are so dead. Our parents are nothing compared to Lilly. She is going to have a fit!

FtLouie: She's going to kill us.

CracKing: I know.

FtLouie: Maybe we don't have to tell her. You know, keep it secret. Like Romeo and Juliet.

CracKing: Thermopolis, have you lost your MIND? Do you REMEMBER how that story ends?

FtLouie: Oh, yeah.