The Trial of River Song

by MuseDePandora

Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to various persons and corporations that are not me or associated with me. This piece of fanfiction is written with the admiration and respect for the original work. I claim no ownership of Doctor Who's creations. No profit is made from this material, now or in the future.

Rating: K - T

Warnings: maybe for character death, non-explicit violence, darker moral themes, extreme timey-wimeyness. Also, old!Who canon alongside new!Who. Don't need to know old!Who.

Summary: We know she's guilty, but of what?

A/N: There was a challenge. I'll list it at the end of this chapter so that there are no spoilers while you read this piece.

Thanks to Armity for beta-read.

Case Identification: 537 SPSC 1102 [123 S.. 953; 154 H. 2d 770]

Classification: TOP TIME SECRET

Ruling Judges:

Patriarch Thaddeus, Our Church of Supreme Authority

Servant Dmer Kotte-Ta, The Shadow Proclamation

Overseer Gamma, The Time Agency

Doctor Dorris Holaday, The Great Guild

Defendant: Doctor River Song

-AKA: Bishop Joan, Servant Wu Zetian, Agent 2606...

-see attached document: Other Possible Identities of River Song


3 Counts: Blasphemy in the First Degree

1 Count: Paradox in the Third Degree

4 Counts: Willful Perversion of Time

1 Count: Willful Destruction of History

2 Counts: Willful Anachronism

10 Counts: Manslaughter

32 counts: Accessory to Murder

1 Count: Accomplice to a Known Enemy of the State

1 Count: Murder in the First Degree

Entered into Evidence:

Testimonial from: Father Cody Rames

Interviewer: Servant Kai

Witness: Agent 2401

Time Stamp: 99-7-5108/12.32.09

Servant Kai: Place your hand on the verifier. Understand that if you remove your hand at any point during this interview, you may be held in contempt of court. Do you understand?

Father Cody Rames: Yes, sir.

SK: Please, state your full name and rank.

FCR: I am Father Cody Rames of the Fifth Arm of Our Church of Supreme Authority, Historical Defense Division.

Agent 2401: Verified.

SK: Do you know Doctor River Song, Father?

FCR: Yes, sir. Though I wish to God, I didn't.

Agent 2401: Verified.

SK: How do you know River Song?

FCR: I was assigned to one of her digs, sir. I mean, my unit was, sir. We were to make sure the site remained secure at all times. Whatever was being dug up was supposed to be real important to the empire, but it involved destroying a huge part of a colony city and, well, you know how the colonies are, sir. We needed to make sure to keep all the guild members safe so that they could do their jobs. Especially Doctor Melian and Doctor Song, since they were in charge of it all.

SK: Were you able to keep the site secure?

FCR: Completely, sir. My bishop was one of the best, may God rest his soul.

SK: Then what happened to Doctor Melian and the rest of the guild members on his team?

FCR: River Song happened, sir.

SK: Please, explain that further.

FCR: Well, you see, everything was fine in the beginning. In fact, it was kind of boring. Me and the rest of the priests were getting a bit antsy even. The colonists weren't too much trouble for us, the Bishop was too good for them. We cut off any trouble before it even happened, so there really wasn't much for us to do but just look at them playing with rocks. They weren't even blowing stuff up anymore. They were just uncovering old pots and computers. They wouldn't even let us get close enough to look. You know how guild members are, they think priests are all just throwbacks with a gun. Well, Doctor Song was better about that than Doctor Melian. Actually, most of us thought she was pretty nice. If she wasn't too busy and we had a question, she'd usually answer and not like we were idiots, neither. Oh, but I guess you didn't need me to tell you all that, did you? You just want to know about when that changed, right?

SK: Yes, please.

FCR: Well, it started like this, sir. Doctor Melian was all excited one night because of a big discovery. All the guild members were excited. They were breaking out some Earth wine and everything. It was a real big deal, even we could see that. The Bishop explained to us that they had gotten to the center of the crypt. They'd found a big stone box there. Apparently, that's what they had been looking for all along. I told Father Kenneth that I thought it was silly that we all had been waiting so long for a big stone box. The Bishop heard me, of course. It was hard to get anything by the Bishop. We use to joke that it'd take a genuine miracle to surprise the Bishop, but that's just talk. Anyways, as he explained it, there was something in the box, some old technology, a weapon left over from the greatest war ever fought. I asked what it was? And the Bishop says, "We don't know yet. We'll have to wait and see." And I asked what he thought it was and he says, "I don't dare guess, Father. I just hope we don't let the devil out." And then we all laughed. It was just a joke then. But sometimes, I think back on it and I wonder if he'd had a vision. I think he must've.

(32 seconds of silence)

SK: Please, continue.

FCR: Right. After that, there was this man.

SK: Can you describe him?

FCR: It's hard. He was different. He wore strange clothes. He walked like he owned the place. He just suddenly appeared the morning after the discovery. He looked mostly human, though there was something about his eyes.

(10 seconds of silence)

SK: Can you describe it?

FCR: I mean no offense, sirs, but he reminded me of a Time Agent.

Agent 2401: How?

FCR: Well, I've worked with agents before, sir. And there's always something a little bit . . . off about them. I think it's because of how they see time. Even River Song and she told us she's only worked with the Time Agency but was never an agent. She never said as much but we all just kind of took it for granted that she must have traveled in time too. There's just something different about people like that. Nothing seems to touch them anymore. It's weird. I don't know how to describe it.

SK: That's all right. Can you tell us more about this man?

FCR: I can try. He was tall, about my height. He had dark hair, dark eyes. His eyes . . . I tried not look him in the eye as much as possible. He scared me, sir. Which was weird because he was real nice. He smiled a lot. He told lots of jokes. He didn't seem to think he was better than us like most of the guild members, though he was obviously smarter than all of them. Like, one time, he overheard Doctor Melian complaining that he couldn't decipher this one ancient computer system. This man took my comm unit, walked over to the computer, and had it working within a minute. He laughed about how easy it was. Doctor Melian looked mad. Can't blame him. The man was completely taking over the place. Everyone was even taking his orders though none of us knew who he was.

SK: How did River Song interact with this man?

FCR: Oh, she loved him! She laughed with him. She even made him laugh, and not in the laughing-at-you way. Lots of times, when he laughed, it seemed like it was at something we couldn't understand. But River Song seemed to understand and then sometimes, she could make him laugh almost like a regular person. It seemed like he liked her, too. It was almost impossible to find them apart. My unit used to joke. "There goes the newlyweds," we used to say. I guess that's why so many of us were willing to just accept him at first. We barely knew anything about River Song but we knew she was important, we knew she had connections. We knew even less about this man but he was connected to River Song so that didn't seem as weird as it might otherwise. We just assumed he was a Top Time Secret.

SK: In your initial statement, you say that you overheard River Song call him by a name.

FCR: Well,it wasn't really a name, sir. It was more of a title. Actually, most of us just thought it was a nickname, like someone would give to their partner, sir. We didn't take it seriously. We thought they were joking, but by the time we realized they were serious, it was too late.

Agent 2401: What did River Song call him?

FCR: The Master, sir.

Agent 2401: Verified.


A/N 2: It started out as a joke. It then became a challenge: the Doctor finds his ex-husband and future wife working together. The Doctor, The Master, and River Song.

If you enjoyed the piece, or if you didn't, please take the time to leave me a review. No matter how short, I really appreciate the feedback. Thanks.