Disclaimer: The story and the characters belong to S. Meyer, and while we are being honest the idea of Bella reading Twilight belongs to someone else as well, a ObsidianMoon9653 but in her version she lets both Edward and Bella read the books (the story ID is 6436902 if you wish to read it) though I seem to recall having seen it before. I don't know the protocol for borrowing someone's idea sorry if I offend. Oh well back to what I was trying to say, I liked her story so much I could not help but write my own version of it.


Chapter 1: Strange Occurrences

I woke up a little too early in the morning, the sunshine coming through my blinds was warming my feet. I was not complaining, instead I kicked off the blanket from my toes wiggled them, trying to soak up as much sun as possible. Beams of sunlight warming my toes in the morning were not going to be a common occurrence from now on, instead I would be greeted with rain and more rain. But I would not think of that too much, instead I would enjoy my last morning in what was starting to feel like paradise.

Finally getting out of bed I managed to scrape my right knee when I tripped over one of my packed bags. I pushed the bag closer to the wall and grabbed something to wear - the jeans that for the immediate future would be a must in my wardrobe, I was reaching for a long sleeve T-shirt but decided to wear my favorite shirt instead. There was no way I was going to be able to wear a sleeveless shirt from now on, I might as well enjoy it while I can. My shower took a long time while I tried to work out the kinks from my muscles. The prospect of switching schools in the middle of the semester of my junior year was not something I was looking forward to, but it had to be done.

"You made a decision, Bella, now stick to it." The little pep talk did not work, instead I reminded myself why I was doing this - my mother. Beautiful, erratic, and very disorganized - she was most certainly a free spirit. One that had found her true love; it was within my power to release her to follow him. All I had to do was banish myself to the purgatory that was known as Forks.

Forks, Washington is located in the northwestern portion of the state. The only distinction this tiny town can lay claim to is the rain - there are more cloudy days in that insignificant town than in any other place in the United States.

My mother had broken us free of this cloudy prison when I was merely a few months old, my father had remained in that depressing place. Every summer I had been forced to spend a month with my father in that dreary, miserable town. Finally when I turned fourteen I worked up the strength to tell my father I would not spend any more time in that place; he agreed to meet me elsewhere.

I stepped out of the shower, and after quickly dressing and brushing my teeth I attempted to untangle my long brown hair. It had a small amount of wave in it, giving me that in between look - it was not straight enough to do the sleek look, but too straight to pull off the curly look. I considered cutting my hair short but then I would have nothing to hide behind.

I used to towel to clean the fogged up mirror - nothing had changed overnight. I still had the dark brown eyes, that were paired with the too pale skin. That reminded me to put on my lotion with the sunscreen - I guess that was one good thing about not living in Phoenix anymore, I would no longer have to slather myself with SPF 70.

I gathered up my used towel to take to the hamper in the laundry room, but as soon as I stepped out of the shower my mission was forgotten. The acrid smell of smoke filled the air outside the bathroom. I quickly rushed to the kitchen to find my mother waving a dishtowel over a very dark looking pancake.

"Mom, what are you doing?" I asked in an exasperated voice, walking over to her I pushed her aside to pick up the pan and dump its contents into the garbage can. I noticed that the current pancake joined several other failed attempts in the trash.

"I was trying to cook you a farewell breakfast." She looked slightly ashamed, and there was no possibility of not forgiving her. This was my mother, Renee.

"That was very sweet mom but cereal is fine." I walked back to the sink, turning on the water I left the pan to soak - I was very good at cleaning up burned messes, the years of living with my mother had given me a great many opportunities to practice.

My mother drove me to the airport, Phil was gone for an away game. She would join him as soon as I was off. For a moment fear gripped me, what was my mother going to do without me? It was true that she had Phil, who despite being a few years her junior was a lot more responsible and mature. I had been the one taking care of her for the past several years, maybe I should have given him a list of things to watch out for. My mother rarely made the same mistake twice, she tended to be original in all ways.

"Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" My mother asked sincerely. The temptation to tell her the truth hit me hard but I resisted.

"No I want to go," this was technically a lie. I was surprised my mother did not call me out on my lie. Maybe I was getting a little better at this, practice makes perfect, and I had told this lie a thousand times over.

My mother tried to make eye contact but I refused to look her in the face, instead I hid behind my long hair. "Anytime you want to come home, just give me a call. I will come back." There was determination in her voice but also a little regret. I could not tell if she was regretting letting me go to Forks, or if she did not wish to leave Phil.

"Everything will be fine mom." I don't know if I was trying to fool her or myself. "It will be great to get to know Charlie...I mean dad a little better."

She gave me a long hug, I don't know which one of us was more worried to leave their child alone. I saw a few tears starting to pool at the bottom of her eyes, my goodbyes became a little more swift. I needed to go get on that plane before I changed my mind. Though that was not true, I very rarely changed my mind - stubborn was my middle name, and once I decided on a plan I seldom detoured from my course.

I found the right gate and sat down on one of the seats. I still had over an hour before my plane took off. Maybe I should have brought a book to read, but my carryon item was a parka - something I would need once my plane landed.

The overhead announcer welcomed everyone to the Phoenix Airport, informed us of the weather being a pleasant seventy-five degrees and cloudless sunny skies. Standing up I paced towards the window, unable to sit still. I looked outside, past the airplanes being taxies around, past the buildings into the desert. I would miss this place, I love Phoenix, the heat, the surrounding hills, and just the general energy of the place. I was not exactly the party animal, in fact I was the exact opposite; but I could still appreciate the vibrancy of the city and the people in it. I shifted the parka in my hand since the bulky object was starting to slip, that was when I head a large thud.

I looked down and saw a book on the floor, it looked somewhat old and battered. The front and back covers were missing, the binding was cracked to the point that you could not read the title or the author. I picked it up quickly, looking around to see the owner but it seemed that I was the only person in the vicinity. I did not spend to much time pondering where this book had come from, instead I smiled at the lucky find. There was nothing I loved more than a good book, and at this point I might even be willing to read a bad book. Anything to take my mind off the fact that I was going to Forks, permanently - no, no it was only for a year and a half. Then hopefully some college in southern California would give me a full scholarship and I could leave the rain behind.

I quickly went back to my seat, the book description that is usually present on the back was gone. So I just started on the first page.

"PREFACE:

I'd never given much though to how I would die -"

The words sucked me in, it was kind of strange that the book mentioned Forks; but I did not spend too much time pondering the coincidence, instead I continued onto the first chapter. I needed to know what had brought the character to this point of sacrifice.

The first chapter scared me, the story seemed to be about me? I tried in vain again to identify the name of the book or the author but both were gone. I did not spend that much time on that mystery - there was the more important question of what was wrong with Edward Cullen. My curiosity overpowered the fear that was brought on by the fact that someone knew this much about me and the motivation behind my decisions. But why had Edward acted so strangely, I needed to know. So I continued to read the battered book.

My reading was interrupted by the flight attendant, we were asked to line up at the gate - our plane was ready to board.

I continued to read voraciously through the book, needing to solve the mystery of this Edward almost as much as the Bella in the book. I was a little disappointed when book-Bella as I started to call her finally figured it out. Everyone knew that vampires were not pretty, they were old and creepy and slept during the day. Vampires did not attend high school and glare at seventeen year old teenage girls.

I had gotten halfway through the book by the time I met my father at the Port Angeles airport. I put on my parka before I stepped outside of the terminal, the book was safely tucked away in one of my jacket's pockets. My father had been very happy when I informed him about my choice of finishing up high school in Forks, but I was pretty sure he was a little confused. Over the years I had not exactly been very diplomatic regarding how I felt about Forks - he was probably wondering what had caused the change of heart.

He had not protested when I had informed him of my decision, in fact he had gone out of his way to make sure my move would be easy. Thanks to Charlie I was already registered for high school. That was one of many differences between my parents, my mother would have never though of something practical like making sure the school would be informed of my arrival.

My father greeted me with hug that was the complete opposite of my mother's. While my mother had thrown anything and everything she had into he embrace my father was a little more cautions - this was something I had in common with my father.

I tripped while stepping off the curb, my father barely managed to grab me before I could fall into the puddle. I looked up at the heavily clouded sky and sighed, this was not unexpected - I knew exactly where I was coming.

The hour drive to Forks from Port Arthur was a little awkward, but this was nothing out of the ordinary. Both my father and I have a hard time expressing ourselves, neither one of us are big talkers. So the drive in the police cruiser was relatively quiet. Charlie asked about my flight, and my mother; I gave him the usual "fine" answer. He did not say anything after that, while I wondered if he would be offended if I pulled my book out and continued to read. I really wanted to know what happens to Edward in the sunlight - why could he not go outside?

As we got closer to town I tried my best to forget about the fact that my father is Police Chief of Forks, there was something embarrassing about riding in a police car. This was one of the major reasons I had asked my father to help me buy a car soon, I might not have a lot of money but I was willing to sacrifice the meager contents of my checking account so that I would not have to ride in the cruiser. I thought back to the book-Bella, it would be awesome to get that truck. It would really be perfect for me.

About half an hour into the drive my father cleared his throat awkwardly. "I found a good car for you, really cheap," his tone made me suspicious.

"What kind of a car is this?" The little voice in my head whispered, please say truck, please say truck. I quickly pulled myself away form that train of thought. Get with the program, Bella, this is reality not the fantasy of that book.

"It is a truck actually, a Chevy."

A sense of deja vu overcame me, was this not what had happened in the book? "Where did you get this truck?" My voice shook only a little, part of it was anticipation and part was fear. I did not know if I wanted him to say he got it from Billy Black or not.

"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?"

"No." But apparently I will meet his son soon enough if I accept an invitation to the beach. Stick to reality Bella, and pay attention to your father.

"He used to go fishing with us during the summer," he was a good driver and did not look over at me like other people would have. Luckily for me he did not see the grimace that spread across my face. Those were not the best of times, there were a lot of accidents that occurred then - usually involving me and a trip to the Emergency Room.

"He is in a wheelchair now, so he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap." My father's words were starting to scare me. Did book-Bella's father not get her the truck. But I would not be distracted, instead I decided to pay attention to what my father was saying. I thoroughly questioned him about the truck. It turned out that it was a really old truck from the sixties, and Charlie had already bought it from me.

I tried my best to hide my surprise as I thanked my father for the gift. Hopefully this thing would run as well as the truck in the book - but I had to stop thinking like that.

Charlie seemed embarrassed by my thanks though I had not been that enthusiastic. We both tend to keep what we felt to ourselves, that was one thing that I had inherited from my father.

The conversation died again, but then what exactly were we supposed to talk about? We were practically strangers, spending two weeks together once a year was not exactly conductive to a close relationship. I stared out the window instead, looking at my future prison for the next year and a half. The low clouds made a depressing ceiling overhead, the trees were the bars, and the ferns underneath the canopy were the barbed wire I could never get past. I was one of the biggest klutzes I had ever met, I could trip over nothing at all - so the prospect of having to walk through the woods with so many things around that could potentially trip me was terrifying. I would make sure to stay inside, where it was dry and warm.

My father pulled up to the small two story house that he had bought with my mother eighteen years ago. My new truck was parked on the street right in front of the house - I was a little scared to note that the truck was a faded red, just like the book. There are no such thing as vampires, I reassured myself.

I quickly overcame the fear as I instantly fell in love with the truck - it certainly had character. The thing was probably made out of solid steel, it could plow through several cars all at once, without getting a dent. Not that I would be entering some monster truck contest or anything, but knowing my luck it would be best to be inside of a steel cage.

My thanks this time were a little more enthusiastic, I even managed to get a smile out of my father. This was a small ray of hope, I would not have to ask Charlie to drive me to the school in the police cruiser tomorrow - my other alternative had been walking, but it was a two mile journey and more than likely it would be raining. This truck was awesome. My father left me to kick the fenders while he opened the trunk of the cruiser.

"No Ch...dad, I can get that." I told him when I noticed him pulling my larger suitcase out of the trunk. Not that it was that heavy, most of my clothes had to be left behind in Phoenix- it was not like spaghetti straps could ever be worn around these parts. My mother had helped me try to buy a few warmer clothes but it was somewhat hard to find real "winter" clothes in Phoenix. So most of the weight of my bags were due to the books and music I had brought with me.

My room was the same one I had been using every time I had come to visit, both windows faced the front yard. The wooden floor was covered by a small woven rug, there were faded yellow curtains around the window. The only change that had been made since the last time I was here was the computer on the small desk. My mother had demanded this as a means for us to keep in touch.

The only other rooms on the second floor were Charlie's bedroom and a tiny bathroom. I was avoiding the knowledge that there was only one bathroom in the house. Charlie did not spend too much time in my room once we got all of my things upstairs.

"I guess I will leave you to unpack." He told me as he backed out the door. I should have taken his advice and unpacked but instead I quickly pulled the book out of my pocket and devoured the next three chapters before I noticed the time. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I had skipped lunch. I quickly unzipped one of my suitcases, putting away the inevitable jeans and thick sweaters. I only pulled my bathroom bag out of my second bag. I left my books and music - I would go for a quick bathroom break before I went to look for dinner.

My hair was already tangled from both the long plane ride as well as the damp weather; I decided on a quick shower since it was the only way I was going to get these tangles out. I looked at myself in the mirror, my pale skin looked almost green here - it could be due to the lighting or because leaving the fantasy world of the book I had to face reality. Tomorrow I would be starting at Forks High School, more than likely I would be the center of attention as the new girl - I was ready to break down and cry over that fact. I had always been somewhat shy and a loner, preferring my books to actual people. It is not that I disliked people, it was more along the lines that I had nothing in common with most people - especially people my age. I was not exceptionally good in school, though I did excel in some topics such as English and Science. I was not at all athletically inclined, my clumsiness that was almost a disease guaranteed that any form of physical activity would lead to humiliation and injury - sometimes I managed to harm not only myself but others around me.

Physically my mother and I were very similar, both in the shapes of our faces and our coloring, but that was where the resemblance ended. My mother was one of those people that could always make friends no matter where she was, in contrast I was one of those people that would always feel awkward and self-conscious no matter what social situation I was in. There were a few friends I was leaving behind in Phoenix but there was no best friend that understood me through and through. I always felt like the alien child and if it had not been for the fact that my father was just as introverted as I am I would have not been surprised if my mother told me I was adopted.

I felt like I always had to put on a show, trying to behave like people expected me to. Now I was going to go from a school with over two thousand students to one that had less than three hundred. I would no longer be able to hide in the crowd, the numbers were now against me. It did also hurt that I looked nothing like the girl from Arizona was supposed to look like: tall, blonde, athletic. Instead I was relatively short, dark haired and not sporty at all. I sighed as I tried to keep the tears at bay, tomorrow was going to be awful. Maybe if I read a little more from my book I could avoid thinking about it.

I reminded myself that this was my choice, and I had made my mother very happy. "All you have to do is get through a year and a half, not even that." I felt the tears starting to form behind my eyes. Taking a deep breath I went downstairs to make something to eat, looking around the kitchen I realized that the book had gotten another fact right - I was going to have to go grocery shopping very soon, otherwise it would be sandwiches with chips for dinner every night.

Nothing much was said during dinner, after asking if I had 'settled in all right' my father concentrated on his food instead. The silence was not bad, I did not feel a need to fill it.

I quickly said goodnight to my father and headed back upstairs to my book; but first I needed to brush my teeth and get into my pajamas. When I really got into a book there was usually nothing that could interrupt my concentration - I knew from experience that if I continued to read this book I would not stop until I was finished.

My alarm clock woke me up the next day, I rolled groggily out of bed - I really should not have stayed up so late finishing the book. Pulling on some jeans and a long sleeve shirt I headed to the bathroom to try to make something of my tangled hair. The humidity had made it more wavy than usual so it took me a while to work through all the knots - I examined myself in the mirror and noticed the dark circles under my eyes, with my pale skin I could now pass as a vampire. I giggled hysterically, my sleep deprivation was making me a little giddy.

My father wished me good luck at school, I mumbled a thanks in reply. My luck tended to be more of the bad variety. He was heading to work when I got downstairs. The work that was his family, other than fishing and watching sports, there was nothing he really had left. Grabbing a granola bar and quickly gulping down some orange juice I headed out the door. There was a thick fog as I stepped outside, the clouds had decided that forming a cage overhead was not enough. I stared up at the sky hoping to see even the glimmer of an outline of the sun, but that was not to be.

It would be about a ten minute drive to the school, had it been a normal school day I would have been on time, but today I had to stop by the main office to pick up my schedule. I quickly headed towards my truck, jumping in and hoping that I would be able to start the thing. The noise of the engine startled me when it first started, it quickly subsided to a quieter rumble, but not that much quieter. I guess I would never have to worry about Charlie borrowing the truck when he needed to covertly follow a suspect. The radio on the truck worked, unfortunately my choices of stations were not appealing.

Had the sign not been in front of the mismatched group of building I would have sworn this was not a high school. My high school in Phoenix had been a little more urban than this, the only landscaping being concrete and chain link fences. Here the buildings were interspersed with the trees, almost like the school was having a fight over space with the forrest - I got the impression the forrest would win. After parking in front of the building labeled 'Front Office' I quickly got out and practically ran for the door. The inside was pleasantly warm, and more importantly it was dry. Quickly looking around the small room I noticed the counter that split it in two. Everything in the room was covered by papers, you would think with the amount of papers piled up on the counter, stuck to the wall and hanging from the edges of the counter there would have a been a lot fewer trees outside. A large, red-haired woman was sitting behind the counter, I notice she was on a tall stool when I got a little closer. She looked up at me almost as soon as I got into the room, the curiosity was obvious in her eyes. "Can I help you?"

"I'm Isabella Swan." There was not much more I needed to say, almost immediately she straightened up and gave me a smile. Any hope I may have had of remaining anonymous and blending in with the crowd completely disappeared - it had been a desperate hope on my part, but I was good at compartmentalizing and I had done my best to block out the fact that I would be the new girl in a very, very small school. I would be the shinny new object that everyone stared at.

She gave me a schedule and the map of the school, the schedule needed to be signed by every one of my teachers and handed back by the end of the day. I ran back to my truck and circled around trying to find a parking spot, more people had appeared during the time I had spent getting my schedule.

I looked around the parking lot happily noticing that while the other cars might not be as old as mine none of them looked fancy or brand new. I had just spotted an open parking spot when out of the corner of my eye I saw something silver. It was a silver Volvo. I slammed on the brakes quickly as I nearly collided with a car, my heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest. This increased speed had very little to do with the near accident and everything to do with the shiny silver volvo. I took a deep breath and concentrated on parking the truck, this time I looked where I was going and did not even take one peek at the volvo.

My hands were shaking as I stopped the engine, I took deep breaths as I tried to calm my heart. The other students walking around were staring at me curiously. I tried my best to ignore them as I looked at the map, and tried to memorize the route to English so that I would not have to constantly be looking at the map. I took a deep breath again and after stuffing my map into my bag quickly opened the door to my truck and stepped out of the warm and dry cab.

I tried my best not to look around, I knew what I was searching for but I would not allow myself to do that. There was no such thing as vampires, it was just a book - just a book. I forced myself to stop breathing so quickly, I was hyperventilating so badly that I was starting to see spots. It would really not be a good thing to pass out on my first day of school. Finding building '3' I followed some raincoats through the door; when we got to the pegs hanging by the door they stopped to hang up their jackets. I was reluctant to give up the warm jacket, even though I felt like a biosafety suit it still was warm - but when in Rome. The raincoats turned out to be a couple of pale skinned girls, at least that was one thing I could have in common with the people here. Unfortunately it would probably be the only thing we would have in common. It was easy enough to locate the teacher, he was the one in the front of the class behind the large desk. The measuring look he gave me brought on an intense blush, but much to my relief after signing my schedule and giving me a reading list he sent me to the back of the classroom. I could feel the stares as I walked to my assigned desk, my face got even more red.

I looked up once when I finally got to my seat, no one was outright staring at me but I knew everyone's attention was directed towards me. This was my idea of a personal hell, I reminded myself yet again I had done this for my mother. I looked over the reading list, this would not be that bad - Mr Mason according to the nameplate on his desk had good taste in literature, so long as he did not bring attention to me in class we would get along just fine. I had essays written on most of these books, maybe I could get my mother to send them to me.

I was not paying attention to the teacher as my mind jumped back to the fact that I had seen a silver volvo in the parking lot. What was I supposed to do? What if they were vampires? What if Edward did not have enough control and managed to kill the entire biology class? The Edward from the books would feel a great deal of remorse and guilt if I allowed that to happen. I laughed at myself, I don't know how it happened but I was trying to protect a fictional vampire from himself.

The bell rang startling me out of my thoughts, a tall skinny boy with really bad skin and dark hair leaned across the aisle. I pulled back a little, startled as he spoke directly to me. None of the others had been brave enough to do so before now. "You are Isabella Swan." It was not a question.

"Bella." I corrected him, no one called me by my full name. All of a sudden everyone around us thought my speaking was the excuse they needed to turn around and stare. I felt my face turning a beet red as I stood up and tried to gather up the things I had pulled out of my bad during the class.

"Where is your next class?" He asked, eager to help.

I saw no reason not to tell him, plus if he gave me directions I would not have to pull out the map. Looking down at my schedule I answered swiftly, wanting to get away from the group that had not stopped staring. "Jefferson, Government, building six?"

"I could show you the way, I am headed to building four. I'm Eric." He was the helpful type but I was not going to protest, especially if I could use it to escape the curious eyes all around me.

We gathered up our jacked and put them on before heading out the door. The fog had abated some but the rain had picked up. There was no way to win in this place was there.

"So, this is it a lot different than Phoenix, huh?" he asked.

"Very." It was interesting to note that I had not mentioned to him that I was from Phoenix.

"It doesn't rain much there, does it?"

"Three or four times a year." But then it is nothing like this, it is a deluge that lasts about fifteen minutes, then you were done and could get on with your life.

"Wow, what must that be like?" he wondered.

"Sunny," I told him reluctantly, not wanting to encourage a deep conversation but at the same time not wanting to alienate a classmate on the first day.

"You don't look very tan." He pointed out the obvious. I tried to suppress a cringe, he has noticed my alien features.

"My mother is part albino." I tried to make a joke of it.

He slowed down his walk to look at me, confusion written on his face. I did not roll my eyes at him, though I was very tempted. Maybe he did not know what sarcasm was, I hope this was not a symptom of the effect the rain had on people.

Eric helpfully walked me all the way to the door, like everyone else I had talked to this morning he wished me good luck. He got a hopeful look on his face when he told me it would be nice if we had some other classes together. I tried to keep my smile polite but at the same time not encouraging.

The rest of the morning continued in the same pattern. Find new classroom, get examined by teacher, try not to be noticed or trip over my feet as I walk to my desk, and at the end another brave and helpful person would escort me to my next class. The worst possible teacher was Mr Varner, my Trigonometry teacher, not only did he teach the hated subject but he made me stand up in front of the class and introduce myself. I managed to trip twice as I tried to escape to my seat. My blush did not abate until almost the end of the class. Everyone asked me about how I was liking Forks, I did not want to insult their hometown on the first day so I ended up lying most of the time.

One girl that was both in my Trig and Spanish class ended up walking me to the cafeteria for lunch. I kind of was starting to like her, she asked question but did not really require much more than a monosyllable answer. She was too busy talking most of the time to notice my lack of attention. I on the other hand was too busy trying to settle the butterflies in my stomach. In the book Bella first sees the Cullens during lunch at the cafeteria. I jumped form avid curiosity and hope that they would be there to trying to remind myself it was only a book.

Jessica, the girl I was following around, at least I think that was her name escorted me to a table with six of her friends. As she made the introductions everyone stared at me curiously, I tried to hid behind my hair not really paying attention to the name of the people sitting around the table. The name Angela, peeked my interest and I actually looked her in the eye - according to the book she was a sweet and nice girl. I certainly hoped so, I needed a friend.

I had purposely kept my eyes down and pointed only at our table, I felt my head moving of its own volition trying to see if I could find what I was hoping and fearing to see. After sitting down, Jessica continued her monologue but my participation did not seem to be required so after one fortifying breath I looked away from my table and searched the cafeteria.

I felt my hopes crash down as while I searched vainly around the long room, I could feel the prickles of tears starting to form behind my eyes. I had not realized how much I had wanted there to be an Edward... one for me. Someone who would love and understand me, but that was not to be. My shoulders fell and I could feel one tear escape from my eye, I turned to my side in the chair and tried to cover most of my face with my hair. That was when I finally saw them, I had been looking in the wrong direction. In the far corner of the room sitting around a small table were five individuals. Unlike the other students they were not eating or talking, the food on the trays in front of them was still in its wrappings. There was another glaring difference, something that truly set them apart from the other students - they were not looking at me. I was not completely conceited or anything but everywhere I had gone today people had looked at me curiously. The group of five were not looking at me, they were not even looking at each other really. But all that was minor details compared to one massive observation, they were the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen. Not even the actors in movies could compare to them when it came to looks.

There were three boys and two girls sitting around the table. If my book was correct the largest of the boys was Emmett, he really looked too old to be here. From the profile I could see a goofy grin on his face, it made me want to go over there and ruffle the dark curls on top of his head. The next boy was leaner than Emmett but his limbs looked a lot longer, I was willing to be he would be the taller of the two - this must be Jasper. I quickly skipped over the last boy, I wanted to save him for last. Rosalie gave a whole new meaning to the hour glass figure, even with the table in the way I could tell she had the perfect body to go along with her perfect face. Alice was almost exactly like I pictured her, despite the fact that she was standing still I could feel the energy just strumming off of her small body. She was so tiny, it looked like you could pick her up and put her in your pocket. I watched as she concentrated on something, was she trying to see the future?

They all had the pale skin, I would not think it possible but their skin was whiter than mine. The ones whose eyes I could see had the dark eyes of a hungry vampire combined with the dark circles under their eyes. I shook my head a little bit trying to get rid of these ludicrous thoughts. I was just sleep deprived, these were not vampires. There are no such thing as vampires, a small shudder moved down my spine as I tried to convince myself of this.

I moved my eyes to the final person sitting at the table, I had deliberately save him for last. I wanted to know if he looked anything like what I had pictured in my head. I could only see his profile but from what I could tell my imagination had totally sucked or else the author of the book was not very good at descriptions. I started my perusal at the top of that beautiful head, his hair was a living thing, it seemed to have its own personality and attitudes. My hands under the table opened and closed as I resisted the urge to go over there and run my fingers through the bronze mess. The jawline in profile was strong and absolutely breathtaking. I looked away from him before I did something foolish.

As I watched Alice rose with her untouched tray and moved towards the door, she was more graceful than the most practiced ballerina I had ever seen. A small part of me clenched with envy at the way she could just glide across the room. My suspicions rose, every bit of the food she had just disposed of had been untouched as far as I could tell. What was going on?

Despite the fact that I had just promised myself not to be suspicious and not to start thinking there were vampires living in Forks I could not resist asking, "Who are they?" My voice came out a little too awed for my taste, but there was no way to be nonchalant about that group.

Jessica was in the middle of a sentence when I interrupted her with my question. For a moment her eyes narrowed in annoyance, she did not like to be interrupted. She immediately followed my gaze but I could tell she knew who I was referring to. Edward immediately looked over to us, almost like Jessica had called him by name. He did not linger long on her instead he moved from her to swiftly look at me. I don't know how red my face was but from the feel of it my cheeks were probably hot enough to cook eggs. I quickly ducked behind my hair, hoping he had not seen the utter infatuation in my eyes.

I heard Jessica's giggle, as she too looked away from the table across the room. I took a quick peek back and noticed he had turned his attention away from us. There was nothing of interest here, not that I could blame him.

"That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale." Jessica went through the history of the Cullen family for me, I listened only partially as she confirmed what I already knew. She was reciting the lie the Cullens told people, the one that allowed them to live amongst the humans. I made a few comments trying to encourage her to tell me the full story.

"They are very...interesting looking." I tried not to be too enthusiastic, yes they had absolutely amazing looks but if my book was correct it was not their looks that made them awe inspiring - it was their struggles to be better than the rest of their kind.

"They are all together you know, and they all live together." Her tone told me she was imparting some sort of juicy gossip. I suppressed a giggle afraid it would come out a little hysterical sounding. I did not pay attention to Jessica anymore, she had confirmed the identities of the Cullen family members. I had enough of a presence of mind to nod at her every minute or so just to make her think I was listening to her. My mind was going a million miles an hour; could it be true? I tried to remember what happened in the book: I went to Biology class and had to sit next to Edward glared at me because he wanted to drink my blood.

It is just a book, it is just a book - the chant was not able to reassure me any longer. What if the book was wrong and Edward was not able to resist, what if he ended up killing everyone in that room? I did not want to die, but more importantly I did not want to be responsible for the death of all those other people. I was starting to feel a little queazy at the thought.

"Bella are you okay, you kind of turned a little green?" Angela interrupted my morbid thoughts.

I opened my mouth to tell her my usual 'I am fine' but instead I snapped my mouth shut. For the first time in my life I contemplated doing something that went against my nature, I considered faking sick in order to get out of school. It would solve my problem while I tried to figure out if it there was any truth to the book, I don't know how I could find out. It was not like I could go up to one of the Cullens and ask the if they were vampires that had decided to abstain from human blood and were living off of animal blood instead. That conversation would end well. "Yeah I am feeling a little sick to my stomach."

Angela offered to help me walk to the nurses station, so grabbing my things we headed back to the building labeled Front Office. The same woman was behind the counter and her curious look was soon replaced by one of pity as Angela explained that I was feeling sick.

She ushered me into a small room with an old fashioned looking examining table. Another woman, in her late fifties if the streaks of grey in her hair were anything to go by, was sitting on a chair reading a book. She was somewhat surprised to see us interrupting. "I feel like throwing up." This was not necessarily a lie. "Can I just lie down for a few minutes."

But my wish to be left alone was not going to come true, there was an offer to call my father to come get me. My vehement 'No' seemed to make them realize how opposed I was to that idea. Angela hoped that I would get better before she went off to class. I had made the right choice by skipping, she would have been one of the victims. Sometime in the cafeteria, while staring at Edward, I had come to a decision. I was going to treat the book like it was true, at least until I get some information that tells me otherwise. Unfortunately up to this point the book had been correct in all ways. There was one thing the book had gotten wrong, there was no possible way that beautiful boy could possibly love me. He might be curious about me because he could not read my mind, or because I am a freak but there was no way he could ever love me.

So I would sit next to him for the next four months and try to ignore everything I knew about him. The fact that he was a vampire but also the fact that he was brilliant, sweet, and amazingly kind. I could feel myself falling already. No,no I could not allow that to happen, it would only lead to heartache. But I had to come up with a plan, Edward said that it was my smell that bothered him. Maybe if there was a way for him to smell me when his family was around to stop him from doing something dangerous. But how was I supposed to do that? Walk up to his front door, if I was wrong about the fact that they were vampires I would look like a complete lunatic. Was there a way to anonymously introduce him to my smell? Could I send him a letter or something? Deliver a package to his house - but that plan had major flaws, there was a high risk that I was going to get caught, and the fact that I did not know where he lived.

That was when I remembered Carlisle, he worked at the hospital, what if I went there and left something with my scent on it. I had a scarf in my backpack that I had shoved in this morning just in case, I could put it in an envelope and drop it off in Carlisle's office. The hospital was not that large, if I recall from previous visits, it would be easy enough to locate Carlisle's office. The nurse came back in the room offering me an icepack for the back of my neck, surprisingly it helped. The nausea was starting to recede, but it might have just been the fact that I had come to a decision. I looked at the clock, half an hour more before the end of this class and then off to gym. Yay gym, my own personal hell; hopefully I would only damage myself and not take out anyone with me.

"You look a little better." The nurse pointed out as I sat up.

"Thank you for the ice pack it is really helping. I don't know what was wrong with me." I told my lie, the blush on my face probably gave me away though.

"Hmmm, do you feel faint?" There was some suspicion in her voice.

"I did a little bit. Why do you ask?" Whatever she was thinking I doubted it was that I was scared to go to Biology class because there was a potential vampire that thought I smelt delicious.

"When was the first day of your first period?" She ask in a matter of fact voice.

I started counting the days when I realized what she was suspecting, for a moment I wished the earth would just open up and swallow me whole. Maybe I could just yell for Edward and tell him to come and get some really yummy human blood. "Um, there is no way I am pregnant, absolutely no possible way."

I lay back down on the bed and tried to force the color to leave my cheeks but that was not going to happen anytime soon. When the bell rang I headed for the door, I explained to the woman at the front desk that I would stop to talk to my biology teacher after school. She gave a me a note from the nurse to excuse my absence.

I trudged through the rain towards the large building that housed the gym, hopefully I would not have to suit up today. The gym teacher was a Coach Clapp, he gave me a uniform but allowed me to sit out of class for the day. I thanked whatever guardian angel was out there, I did not think I could handle gym on top of everything else on my plate today. I sat in the bleachers trying to block out the four different volleyball games that were going on all at the same time. This was going to be ugly, I could tell already. In Phoenix I had already completed the necessary P.E. credits but here you were required to take it all four years. Yet another reason to hate Forks, not that I needed anymore.

While I sat there thinking I refined my plans, if I got caught I would just use the excuse that I was familiarizing myself with the local hospital. With my medical records it would not be that much of a lie, I had spent a lot of time in the Emergency Room. I had pulled out the scarf form my bag and had securely wrapped it around my throat, I don't know how else I was supposed to make it smell like me.

After the final bell rang I waited a few minutes for everyone to leave before I made my way out of the building. "Hey how is it going?" I heard a friendly voice ask.

"Hi," I replied reluctantly. I did not want to seem rude but at the same time I had a mission and I wanted to complete it before I chickened out. I looked up to see a boy with short blonde hair meticulously gelled into sharp little spikes.

"My name is Mike. Welcome to Forks." His enthusiasm was not going to deter me from my plan. "So where are you going?"

"To biology class, I have to talk to the teacher."

"Here let me help you get there." Mike offered helpfully.

It turned out he was originally from California so he understood my need to the sun, I may have detected a bit of admiration in his voice but I could not be sure.

"Thanks, see you later," I told him a little more enthusiastically than I had intended but talking about the sun had made me the happiest I had been all day.

I walked into the small room, Mr. Banner said the plaque on his desk. Luckily he was still there. I mumbled my excuses as to why I had not shown up for class today, I don't think he believed me but the nurses note made it so he had not other choice but to give me a textbook and a copy of our current assignment.

I quickly headed back to the front office to turn in my paperwork, the woman at the front called me Isabella of course, this time I did not bother correcting her. When she turned her back on me I quickly pulled a big envelope from a stack on the counter shoving it into my bag before she noticed.

"Oh you are done, see you tomorrow." She told me as I backed away, my face blushing red at the prospect that I had stolen something.

It was not that hard to find the hospital, I parked the truck and walked through the sliding doors to the emergency room. There was a nurse behind the desk but she did not notice me, she was too busy doing her nails and talking on the phone. I swiftly walked down the hall trying to locate Dr Cullen's office, I walked by it once to make sure that no one was in there. My luck held out as I noticed the empty room, I knocked quietly before pushing the door open - there was no Carlisle hiding behind a door. I sprung to action pulling the scarf from my neck and stuffing it into my stollen envelope.

"To Edward from someone at school." I wrote on the front before I tossed it in the middle of the desk. Hopefully Carlisle had not gone home yet.

I did not linger very long in the office, I had an excuse to be in the hospital but no real excuse as to why I was in Dr. Cullen's office. I practically ran all the way to my truck, slamming the doors shut and locking the doors. As if that would actually protect me if they really were vampires. My heart was beating so loudly that it almost drowned out the engine of my truck, well almost but not quite.

The house was still empty when I opened the front door, despite my extracurricular activities it would still be a couple of hours before Charlie would get home. I looked around the kitchen trying to find something to eat. "Hmm I am so going to have to go to the grocery store tomorrow." With that in mind I started to make a list of groceries, but this task did not take me very long. I attacked my trig homework instead, concentrating on it and not the book that was sitting on the small table next to my bed. Finally I gave up on the homework, there was no way I was going to make sense of math; I turned on my computer, getting on the internet was somewhat of a challenge considering I was using dial-up. But beggars could not be choosers, so I fought back all the pop up windows. Finally I found the search engine I was looking for, typing in vampires I waited for my results to show up.

There was a great deal of information regarding vampires, most of it seemed wrong compared to my book. Some of it seemed outright ridiculous, one theme that seemed consistent was the fact that they were evil and soulless. I got angry at the computer and turned it off, there was obviously no new information I could find. What would happen if the book was wrong about some things, what if these were actually evil vampires? I was getting more and more worried, my plan had seemed brilliant at the time - if they are vampires they would smell me and Edward would know to avoid me, otherwise if they were just beautiful looking humans they would never be able to figure out where the scarf had come from. The only place I had worn it was gym class and even then I had made sure to tuck it under my shirt so no one would be able to recognize the scarf as belonging to me.

But what if the book was wrong and I had just invited them for dinner? I tried to push that thought away, I needed to find a way to stop thinking about this. Music - music was a good way to divert my thoughts away from such morbid places. I moved over to the small bag I had yet to unpack, there were no clothes in it only some essential books and music. Emptying the contents of the bag onto my bed I started furiously searching through the books for something, anything that would grab my interest.

It was not a cd that finally caught my attention, but a book - one that I was fairly certain had not been packed by me. Maybe my mother had put it in there as a surprise, both the back and front covers had been removed, the first page had a number three handwritten on it.

"Three?" I asked myself out loud, did this mean there was a two somewhere. I quickly searched through the pile locating not only book two but also a book four. I sank down on the floor next to the bed, my feet unable to hold me anymore. I was starting to hyperventilate, was I going insane? Did I really care at this point?

I grabbed the book labeled two and cleared my bed with one sweeping motion of my arms. All of my beloved books forgotten as I attacked book labelled with the number two. I did not bother reading the preface, it did not make that much sense anyway. Instead I headed straight into chapter one. I don't know how long I sat there reading, but I knew exactly where I stopped. Edward had said goodbye and he had taken everything that linked us together. He did not love me anymore.

"I can't believe he left me." I whispered as I realized there were tears streaming down my face. "How could he have left me?" I heard a car slam and the front door open and close as my father came home. This seemed to get me back into action, I closed my book quickly and hid it and the other three parts under my bed. Running quickly to the communal bathroom I splashed cold water on my face trying to get rid of the evidence of my tears.

"Hey Bells, I brought pizza for dinner, I hope you like pepperoni." My father told me by way of greeting. I nodded in response afraid that I would start crying again if I spoke.

I forced down some pizza, my appetite gone despite the fact that the only other food I had consumed today was the granola bar and orange juice this morning. I quickly made excuses to go upstairs. "Homework." I told my father as an excuse for my swift exit. I felt guilty, I should be spending some time with him. He had been kind enough to let me come stay with him, he might not have wanted the responsibility of a teenage girl.

But I could not think of my father right then and there, all I could think about was the fact that Edward had left me. I did not read anymore from the book that night. Instead I pushed my way through the remainder of my homework before going to take along hot shower. As I lay there in my bed at night I began to cry again, I was crying for the fact that I was stuck in Forks, that I would not be able to see the sun again for at least another year and a half, but mostly I cried for the Bella in the book. She had managed to find someone to love, someone who understood her but apparently it was not enough. Giving you heart and soul to another person was not enough to keep them next to you; what more could you give to ensure that someone would stay with you?

I woke groggy the next day, my eyes painfully gritty due to the fact that I had cried myself to sleep. I was running late so my father was already gone when I got downstairs, fortunately I had the presence of mind to grab my shopping list along with some money from the grocery jar. No matter what today was going to be a normal day, I would pay attention in class, I would be polite to the other students and most importantly I would forget about my obsession with the Cullen family.

I was able to stick to the plan during the morning - well mostly stick to the plan. I paid attention to Jessica's rambling through trigonometry class and spanish. Trig of course was horrible, I was asked a question and I got the answer wrong. I promised myself that I would study harder tonight, no more reading the books.

It was not until we got to the cafeteria I realized something - despite the fact that I was a terrible liar I was very good at lying to myself. I had been thinking of the Cullens all day long, as soon as we walked into the cafeteria I looked to the corner trying to figure out how many people were at the table. To my shock and surprise the table was empty.

What had I done? Maybe I was wrong, maybe they were just running a little late. But now that I thought back I had not seen the silver volvo in the parking lot this morning. Had I scared the entire family away. I tried to cling to hope, maybe there was another reason for their absence. I only got a drink in line, Jessica made some comment on my lack of appetite but I was not paying attention.

As we sat down at Jessica's usual table I noticed that several other people had joined the group, including Mike. I really hope I had not given him the wrong impression yesterday.

I felt a black wave of depression overcome me, the waves of misery became darker and darker as time went on and the Cullen's table remained empty.

"Nice of you to finally join us." The biology teacher told me when I walked into the class, he pointed out where I was supposed to sit. The seat next to me remained empty for the entire period as I tried my best to concentrate on the lecture.

Gym class was even worse, I was completely distracted and the one time I actually tried to go for the ball I ended up slamming it into my face instead.

I went to the grocery store gathering up food for the remainder of the week, this was an easy task. I had been in charge of getting groceries for several years now. At home it did not take me long to put away the food, I just shoved the various boxes where ever they would fit in the small kitchen. I started on dinner, steak and potatoes, and went upstairs to work on my homework. I was on autopilot when Charlie came home. He looked surprised when he smelled the aroma coming out of the kitchen, and a little nervous. I guess he still remembered my mother's cooking style, she tended to be a little too creative in the kitchen. I had to learn early on how to cook, otherwise we would not have anything edible to eat.

I almost smiled at the surprised look on his face when he tasted the steak, but I was too busy trying to hold back the black cloud that had descended over me.

Cleaning up the kitchen did not take enough time, so after my shower I sat on my bed letting the misery consume me. I had succeeded but I don't know exactly what I had accomplished, I tried to reassure myself that I potentially saved several lives. Mistakes happen and according to the book Edward had been very close to killing everyone just so he could drink my blood.

Maybe I was wrong, the Cullens could have been gone for another reason. It was very self-centered of me to believe that plain little me could have just scared them away. But the possibility of not seeing him again was painful. What had I done?

A little voice whispered in my ear, was it not better to have scared him off before I learned to love him. I tried to push away that horrible thought, maybe it was already too late. Maybe you could not change some things about fate, like who you loved.

Tennyson:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.


A/N: So what do you guys think? I don't know if I should continue with the story, I really wrote this chapter because I have writers block on my other fanfic and can't seem to get through it.

Come to think of it I have no idea what would happen next, any suggestions? I feel that Bella comes off as a little emo, but after rereading the first chapter of twilight in preparation for this that characteristic does not seem too far off the mark.