Kim and Daniel are walking down the hallway. Daniel is upset because he has no money. They're meeting up with the other freaks later.

Daniel

Kim, get off my coattails, all right?

Kim

Okay! I'm just saying, the reason you have no money is because you spent it all on drugs! Stop smoking pot, and you wouldn't have this problem! Stop complaining like a five year old!

Daniel

Listen, nutcase. I don't need you lecturing me on money! Didn't your mom blow her rent money on a $300 bottle of wine?

Kim, looking hurt and about to cry

Screw you, Daniel. (Runs away in tears)

Fade out. Theme song

The geeks are the cafeteria. They're talking about the dance in five days.

Bill

So fellas, are we going to the dance stag?

Harris

Judith said if I didn't ask her to the dance, she was going to ask out my younger brother, Marris.

Neal

Marris?

Harris

My parents wanted us to have rhyming names, but nothing rhymes with Harris.

Sam

I'm going ask out the new girl, Linda Danes.

Neal

Linda? She's gorgeous, smart, and sweet. You don't stand a chance. (jokingly) I'm aiming a person less likely to dump me.

Bill (chortling)

Who would that be? Cross-eyed Cathy?

Neal

As a matter of fact, I'm going to ask Jenny Williams.

Bill

How on earth is she below you? She's a cheerleader.

Neal (with a big smile on his face)

Yes, but she's at the bottom of the pyramid.

Gordon

You have a seriously over inflated ego.

Fade out.

The freaks are near the bleachers, without Daniel. They're also talking about the dance.

Nick

Did you hear about the stupid Valentine's Day dance thing at the end of the week?

Ken (agitated)

My parents said I have to go. They say it's good for my "self esteem", (air quotes) but they really just wanna get me outta the house. Plus, Amy wants to go.

Kim (looking disappointed)

I was gonna go with Daniel, but he called my mother an irresponsible alcoholic.

Lindsay (surprised)

That doesn't seem like him at all.

Kim (looking embarrassed)

Well, he didn't say it outright. But after I told him off for spending all his money on weed… (Nick and Ken looking ashamed) he mentioned the fact that my mom once spent all our money (she winces)

Ken

Well, you were kinda being a bitch. Besides, you call your mother a witchy old druggie all the time.

Kim

That is so not the point!

Nick

By the way, where is Daniel?

Fade out.

Daniel is at a grocery store. He walks up to the general manager. He is old and fat, with a southern accent.

Daniel

Helllooooo? Anyone here?

Manager

How d'ya do there, son?

Daniel

I need some money.

Manager (confused)

What… does this have to do with … me?

Daniel

I need a job. (pleadingly)

Manager

Well, an extra set of hands never hurts. How does bag boy sound, how about 5.50 an hour?

Daniel (relieved)

That would be… good. Thanks man.

Manager (smiling)

You're welcome, "man."

Fade out

In between classes. Lindsay and Nick are talking.

Nick

Linds, I have a question for you.

Lindsay (stops walking)

Yeah, Nick?

Nick (hemming and hawing)

I was wondering if maybe… you would... like to..

Lindsay

Spit out, Nick.

Nick (really quickly)

Doyouwannagotothedancewithme!

Lindsay

Ahhh, you know we're broken up, right?

Nick

I know, but my parents don't and they really liked you, so if told them we went to the dance…(trailing off)

Lindsay

Oh, well then (brightening), sure!

Nick

See ya tomorrow.

Fade out.

Sam is going to ask out Linda, and Neal is going to ask Jenny out.

Sam

Hey Linda.

Linda

Oh, hi Sean.

Sam

My name is Sam.

Linda (embarrassed)

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Sam

It's okay. Listen I was wondering… Do you want to go to the dance with me?

Linda (considering it)

You know what, I would love to go with you.

Sam (eager)

Really?

Linda

Really.

Sam

I'll pick you up at seven.

Neal

Showtime. (calling across the hallway) Hey, Jenny!

Jenny (snapping gum)

Whaddaya want?

Neal (muttering)

I can see why you're the bottom of the pyramid.

Jenny

What?

Neal

Nothing. I was wondering if you would want to go to the dance with me on Friday.

Jenny

Will you pay?

Neal

Uhh, yeah.

Jenny

Sure, I'll go, Nat.

Neal

I'll pick you up at seven. By the way, my name is Neal.

Jenny (dismissively)

Whatever.
Fade out.

Lindsay and Amy are trying on dresses and Kim is giving advice. Ken, and Nick are trying on suits, and at a different department store, so are Sam and Neal.

Amy (in the dressing room)

I'm so excited that Ken is taking me. I know he's not too excited, but I'm jumping out of my skin. (comes out of dressing room) What do you think? (tries on a knee length, dark blue dress)

Lindsay and Kim (in unison)

Perfect.

Amy

Okay, Lindsay, try on your dress.

Lindsay

I wish I could go with a guy who's taking me for a reason besides parental approval.

Kim (snorting)

You believed that lousy excuse? He's still totally into you.

(sighs) I wish Daniel wasn't such a jerk.

Into the men's dressing room. Ken and Nick are talking

about the dance.

Ken

I can't believe Lindsay fell for that "my-parents-made-me-do-it" crap.

Nick

It's not crap. My parents LOVED Lindsay. They said she was sweet and smart, and maybe her sweetness and smartness would rub onto me… (dazing off)

Ken

Earth to Andopolis. You gotta focus. Does this suit even fit me?

Entering Sam and Neal's dressing room.

Sam

I'm really excited about taking Linda to the dance.

Neal

I'm not. My date's evil.

Sam

Then, why are you going with her?

Neal (matter-of-factly)

'cause she's hot! Are you stupid, Sam! (tries on a smoking jacket) What you think of this. I was going for handsome, dashing Jew.

Sam

You listen to your brother way too much. Besides, you look more like Hugh Hefner than anything else.

Neal

Shut up.

Fade out.

The Weir House. Lindsay and Sam are getting ready. Jean is maniacally taking pictures, and Harold is laying down the ground rules.

Harold

…. And no drinking, and no drugs, be home by eleven, and no hotel rooms, especially you, Lindsay.

Lindsay

Dad, I'm not gonna have sex with Nick

Harold

(yelps) That what they all say. Until that one sappy Led Balloon…

Lindsay (groaning)

Led Zeppelin

Harold

Whatever… song comes on the radio….. ( trailing off)
Lindsay

Dad, do you know this from experience?

Harold (snaps)

Doesn't matter how I know it.

(doorbell rings)Nick comes in with a corsage. He is wearing a tux and looks excited.

Lindsay

Hey, Nick.

Nick

Hey, Lindsay. Ready to go?

Lindsay

Yep.

Jean

Wait! I have to take one more picture! You two are just so cute.

Lindsay (groaning)

MOM!

Jean

What? I'm a mother, I can't help it.

Nick and Lindsay leave the Weir house. Sam goes to pick up Linda. Neal goes to pick up Jenny.

Sam rings the doorbell

Linda

Hello Sam

Sam

You look gorgeous.

Linda

Thank you Sam. You're so sweet.

Meanwhile, Neal's mom drops him off at Linda's house. Her house is huge. Neal is mad because he hates Jenny.

Neal's Mom

Wow! Who's your date, Stella McCartney?

Neal

I wish. Can I get out, please?

Neal's Mom

Okay, okay, ladies man. Can you give your mom a kiss?

Neal(sighs)

Fine (kisses her)

He rings the doorbell. Jenny answers the door, snapping gum, looking annoyed.

Jenny

Oh, it's you. You bring tha cash?

Neal

Yeah, I did. You look beautiful.

Jenny (vainly)

I know. Let's blow this pop stand. I have to home by ten.

Fade out. Everyone is at the school dance. The DJ is playing "Take a Chance on Me" by ABBA. Ken and Amy are in the corner, making out. Lindsay and Nick walk in.

Daniel and Kim are not there.

Nick (trying to make chit-chat)

Soooo… this is nice.

Lindsay

Yeah. Nice.

Ken (yelling over the music)

THIS DJ SUCKS! WHO THE HELL TOLD HIM THAT ABBA WAS COOL! HOW"S YOUR NON-DATING EX?

Nick

SHUT UP, MAN!

Lindsay

You wanna leave?

Nick

Like, leave to go where?

Lindsay

Just outside the school.

Nick

I'd love that.

Sam is at the punch bowl with Linda.

Sam

I can't believe it! You're the only girl I know that likes Animal House.

Linda

Are you joking? John Belushi was comical genius in that movie! My favorite scene is the exploding zit.

Sam

If you've seen that, then you've gotta see The Jerk.

Linda

What's that about?

Sam

It's about this guy, who was raised in Mississippi, and….

Linda

Sam.

Sam

Yeah?

Linda

Please kiss me.

Sam (surprised)

Really?

Linda

Yeah.

They kiss. Neal is slow dancing with Jenny.

Jenny

You're not holding me right, midget.

Neal

How am I supposed to hold you?

Jenny

I don't know, but different, dwarf!

Neal

I am not a midget! I'm just short!

Jenny

Coulda fooled me, nerd!

Neal

You know what? You're a jerk, and I'm dumping you right NOW!

Jenny

You can't dump me, hobbit. I'm a cheerleader!

Neal

Yes I can! And you're at the bottom of the pyramid!

Jenny gasps and whines. Neal storms out. Fade out.

Nick and Lindsay are walking down the street, and they're talking.

Nick

By the way, I threw out my secret pot stash.

Lindsay

Really? Nick, that's awesome! I've telling you to stop for months!

Nick

I got sick of being in this haze, you know? It's like I couldn't think or enjoy anything.

Lindsay

I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it!

Nick

The reason I'm mentioning this is because I couldn't do it without you. This might come as a surprise, but I only dated Sara to make you jealous.

Lindsay

Nick, I bet the President of the United States knew that.

Nick (laughing)

Was it that obvious?

Lindsay

Ah, yeah. Don't worry, it was really adorable.

Nick

I'm glad you think so.

They start to kiss. Fade out.

Kim is sitting in her room, doing her homework. She hears a knock on her window. It's Daniel. He has a corsage, a prom dress, a record, and cans of Pepsi.

Kim (crying)
How do you afford this?

Daniel

I got a job as a bag boy.

She changes into the prom dress. He puts on the record. It's Jealous Guy by John Lennon. They start slow dancing in her bedroom,

Kim's Mom

Kim? What are you doing? If you're not studying, you're gonna flunk end up a loser like your father.

Fade out. End credits.