Little Red Riding Tomato

Once upon a time there lived a girl who owned a cape made of the deepest red. It came to be the one thing people recognized her by, and it came to be that people started calling her Little Red Riding Hood. But what most people don't know is that the little girl WAS A BOY DAMMIT. And since the stupid boy didn't seem to mind, it wasn't until he was older and his voice changed that people noticed that he was a boy! You think he would have stopped wearing girly clothes after he was recognized for a boy, and for the most part he did. But that idiot never stopped wearing the stupid red cape, probably because every Sunday he took sweets to his grandfather, and the old bastard thought the cape was cute so the stupid boy continued to wear it. And it wasn't until the stupid boy fell in love, got married to a potato bastard, and moved out of the house to a town a little farther away did he have to stop wearing the cape. And it also wasn't until a little after that that my part of the story comes into play.

"I'm not wearing that."

"Ve~ please Lovino!"

"No way in hell! I don't see why you marrying the potato bastard has anything to do with you having to stop bringing the old geezer some food!"

"Lovino, Ludwig and I live to far away now for me to continuously bring food to Grandpa Roma."

"I don't understand why you want me to wear the stupid cape though!"

"Because Grandpa Roma loves seeing me wear it, and since he can't see me as much as he used to it might make him feel better if you wore the cape!"

Feliciano was still edging the cape toward me over the wooden table we were currently having our discussion over. Yeah, the stupid boy in the story was Feliciano. My idiotic younger brother. Who obviously thought by looking cute and giving me the puppy dog eyes would encourage me to wear that damn red cape and go gallivanting through the forest like some fucking overly cheerful little girl.

"Please Lovino!" Feliciano pushed the cape all the way towards me so that it half fell into my lap. I scowled and glared at it. "No!"

"Lovino~" Feliciano's whining voice was really beginning to get on my nerves. "Please! Just do it at least once! Then I will never ever ask again!" That made me pause, knowing Feliciano, he would keep that promise; and if I didn't accept it I was sure to get a crying Feliciano on my hands, and a crying Feliciano only meant the potato bastard having to comfort him. Who I fucking hate, Feliciano could have done so much better than that meat headed idiot. But apparently they 'bonded' one night when Feliciano had come home late from Grandpa Roma's house. According to Feliciano some wild animal had scared him and Ludwig had come to his rescue. Chigi, stupid bastard probably had set the whole thing up to get into my brother's pants.

"Lovino!" Feliciano's insistent voice broke through my thoughts. My eye twitched at the creeping feeling of knowing what was going to happen. But I still nodded and said, "I'll wear the stupid cape once, and after that I will either burn it or you take it back."

"Ve~! Thank you fratello!" Feliciano threw himself at me in a hug and the chair I was sitting on suddenly crashed backwards.

"If you broke my chair you're buying me a new one idiot!"

Well now that I was wearing possibly the GAYEST cape in history I was beginning to have second thoughts. The only comfort I had was that my stupid grandfather lived somewhere far out in the fucking woods, which meant at least none of the other townrs would see my shame.

"Not that it matters, they'd probably think I was Feliciano if I spoke in a girly voice and batted my eyelashes and shrieked at anything that moved." I grumbled quietly to myself as I pulled the cape around me, taking one last good look in the mirror. My own amber eyes glared back at me as I stuck my tongue out at my reflection. Damn Feliciano, damn my old fart of a grandfather.

I made sure to grab the basket of sweets on my way out before I jerked the hood over my head and made way to the woods. Now I never understood why my idiotic grandfather liked living all the way in the fucking woods but he lived there and the only pathway was a trodden down old dirt one that you could only walk through. And it took FOREVER. I mean I know I left a couple hours before sunset, because goodness forbid I had to stay there any longer than I had to, but I still hadn't reached my grandfather's house! How far old could one person live? And no I wasn't lost! How could someone get lost along a path? Not me! I mean even if I did try to take a short cut through a field and ended up a little confused that did not mean I didn't know where I was going!


The woods were beginning to darken around me as I continued along the route I was now taking. It wasn't exactly the beaten down path I had taken before when Feliciano managed to drag me to grandfather's house but hey it was a path so it must lead somewhere, right?

Okay now the woods were really dark, I could barely see ten feet in front of me anymore. I'll admit it was a little scary, but it wasn't like I was jumping at every single noise! I just started running because I wanted to get to the old farts house before it got really cold, not because I heard a loud thumping noise because me, damn it!

Oh shit, I heard footsteps and I quickly sped up. Oh please don't let it be somebody out to kill me. I was too young to die! And if I was going to die I didn't want to die in this stupid cape!

The footsteps behind me got louder and faster as the person began chasing me. Doesn't this bastard have anything better to do than chase innocent people around in the woods after dark?

I suddenly felt arms wrap around my stomach as I was jerked backward into a hard chest. I, of course, struggled valiantly, and no I did not just freeze in fear and start shaking!

…Okay so I didn't struggle that much, but who can blame me! Some bastard, obviously strong from the muscles I could feel, but not gross like the potato bastard's muscles which were large and gross, these muscles were lean and just felt goo-I did not just think that. No way in hell did my mind get sidetracked into feeling up this bastard's muscles.


My foot slams back onto the other person's foot and I manage to break away from the bastard and turn to face him.

Which is when I stop and stare in shock, because it was not a normal bastard. Oh no, it was a wolf bastard.

I think.

I mean the guy looked human out of what I could see in the dark, he had chocolate brown hair with emerald green eyes and a tanned body with hands and feet and all the crap. His shirt probably had been normal once, but now it was dirty and ripped at the shoulders providing a pretty good look at his pretty nic- a look at the stupid bastard's muscles. His pants were also ripped at the kneecap and he had no shoes on.

Oh yeah, and he had wolf ears, and a TAIL.

The fuck?

"W-what do you want bastard?" I shouted. The bastard just blinked at me and then smiled. S-shit, his smile…wasn't half bad… Except he had giant looking canines which were a little creepy, but other than that it was k-kinda nice…

"Aha, you were about to run off a cliff silly!" The hell? I turned around and sure enough, with my eyes now adjusted more to the dark, I could see the tree line and the road end suddenly. There probably was a cliff or giant hill of some sort. Meaning that wolf bastard had probably just saved my life.

But it was his fucking fault in the first place! Damn it, if he hadn't been chasing me then I would have noticed it earlier!

I turned back to the bastard to give him a piece of my mind when I saw that he had moved forward and we were now nose to nose, his eyes staring straight into my own.

"D-d-damn it bastard! Back away!" I put my hands out to shove him back, but he grabbed onto them and just continued to stare at me. C-c-chigi, I could feel my face redden as he smiled even wider.

"You look like a tomato!"

What. The. Fuck. How could he even see my face go red?

"IDIOT!" I bellowed, and I finally broke my hands out of his grasp and pushed the wolf bastard backward. Annoyingly, by doing this my basket filled with my grandfather's food was flipped a bit and some of the food fell out. I cursed and went to pick up the food, but the bastard had regained his ground and was already picking them up for me.

"Oh hey, this looks like some of the stuff Feliciano takes to his grandfather!" My head snapped up at his words and I glared at the bastard before saying, "How the fuck do you know about my brother?"

The idiot just nodded and said, more to his self really, "I thought you were him at first, and I mean the cape is the same, but you act very different! Oh wait! Are you two brothers?" I swear his tail wagged as he looked at me for a reply. What the-? Was he really that stupid?

"No we're just two strangers who have identical faces." I snapped, grabbing the food from him and placing it in my basket again. The idiot had a blank look on his face for a moment before he laughed and said, "Oh, I thought you might be twins or something!" I felt my eye twitch.

"I was kidding bastard! Of course we're brothers!" I stood up suddenly, trying to move past him since he was blocking the only way on the path that didn't lead to impending death by cliff. But the bastard had stood up with me and moved to stop me from leaving.

"So what's your name, Feliciano's brother?" He asked happily. Ugh, he wasn't going to let me leave unless I answered that, was he?

"Lovino." I said shortly, making to leave again. But the bastard blocked me again with that stupid smile.

"I'm Antonio, nice to meet you!"

"Wish I could say the feeling was mutual."

"Haha, ouch Lovi~"

What? What the heck did he just call me?

"By the way, where's Feliciano?" I felt myself jerk back a bit, and for some odd reason my heart gave a little twinge. Of course that's all the bastard wanted, that's all anyone really cared about, my little brother. Even when my brother was married and a whole town away I still had people constantly coming to my house asking for him. What the fuck was so great about Feliciano anyways? I mean, I loved my little brother but sometimes it got really annoying when people kept comparing us and forgetting that I seemed to have my good points to, I mean I could…at least Feliciano couldn't…

Well shit, I couldn't think of a single thing.

I guess my annoyance, and for the record I did not look upset, I was annoyed damn it, was showing on my face because Antonio just asked out of the blue, "Are you lost?"

"No." I was not lost; I was just a bit turned around.

"Because if you're taking that food to your grandfather's house, since that's what Feliciano always did when he was in the woods and since you're brothers I would assume that you have the same grandfather, then you're lost because Feliciano's grandfather's house, and I guess your grandfather's house as well, is at least a way's that way." Antonio finished his stupid speech and pointed off in some direction in the woods.

"I know that!" I growled and began to stomp off in the direction he pointed. I was expecting Antonio to leave but the idiot followed me and even began holding branches aside for me as we trekked through the woods.

"Stop following me idiot!"

"But Lovi, you might get lost again, and since I know these woods like the back of my hands, you might get there faster if I come along!" Antonio protested. I glared at him one more time before moving my gaze forward again and continuing on in silence.

We walked for a couple more minutes before Antonio decided it was to quiet and began talking again.

"So I guess you're wondering why I look part wolf and part human, huh?"

"I could care less, bastard."

"Ouch, Lovi! Not cute." Antonio pouted for a moment before continuing, "So I'm a werewolf, technically, but I'm always like this! I don't even need a full moon, I'll probably always have this tail and ears which wouldn't be so bad if people didn't panic at the size of my teeth when I smile at them! I was actually surprised you didn't run Lovi!"

Why didn't I run when I had the chance? Good question. I scowled at the ground for a moment before remembering exactly why I hadn't run. Damn bastard and his stupid smile…I could tell my face was beginning to redden again.

"Oh look, you're face is a cute red again!" I whipped around to glare at Antonio. "How the fuck can you see my face?" Antonio blinked at that for a moment before saying, "Well I am part wolf, so I can see pretty well in the dark!" Damn it, bastard. I growled slightly before marching forward again, violently smacking foliage out of my way.

Since Antonio couldn't seem to take even a couple moments of silence he started babbling on again. "So you're Feliciano's brother? You two are so different! I remember watching Feliciano when he would take food to his grandfather's house! He was so cute, singing and picking flowers all the way there! But then one day I think he caught sight of me or heard me and got scared. He ran really fast! By the time I caught up with him he was talking to some big muscled blonde! Never really saw Feliciano alone after that, the big blonde was always with him. Were they friends? Oh hey, Lovi you look mad again, what's wrong?"

This IDIOT was the reason Feliciano had met the blonde bastard? This was the so called 'scary' wild animal? This bastard…I ground my teeth together and my pace picked up so I could lose the bastard. But Antonio merely sped up and began apologizing to me over and over.

"I'm sorry Lovi! What did I say? Why are you angry? I'm sorry!" I ignored him as I kept moving forward, FINALLY catching sight of my grandfather's house.

"Oh look, here's the house. I don't need your guidance anymore, get lost." I snapped at Antonio. At the look on his face I felt a flash of guilt, but it was gone just as quickly as it had come. I marched straight up to the house as Antonio hung back, and as I raised my hand to knock on the door I heard him call out to me.

"See you around Lovi!"

I turned to tell me that we would NOT see each other again, because like fuck I was coming back into these woods, but Antonio was gone.

So the stupid old geezer was not happy I was late and forced me to stay overnight. And NO I did not ask him if I could just because I was a little nervous about walking back home in the dark. But the old geezer was happy to have company either way and practically forced food down my throat. Not that it was bad food though; he was a better cook than Feliciano who made the 'best pasta in the world' according to every stupid person in the town, which was a lot of people.

Bastards, my food was just as good as Feliciano's…chigi.

Um, so anyways I left early in the morning and since it was cold out and I had NOTHING else to wear, I was forced to wear that stupid red cape, AGAIN.

Damn grandfather for being built like a fucking strong twenty something year old.

I walked far enough through the woods that the geezer's house was out of sight before I heard a soft, "Pssst!"

And despite what anyone tells you I did NOT jump up in fright and start looking around me all panicky. I acted calm and looked around me scowling at whatever bastard dared to try and scare me in the morning! Yeah, that's what I did…

So it was that bastard Antonio again, grinning at me through the trees as he came quickly to my side.

"Good morning Lovi!" He chirped, leaning down to give me a hug.

"Quit it! Touchy feely bastard! You don't go around groping random strangers!" I pushed him back but the fucker just stood there and laughed at me!

"You look even more like a tomato when you blush in the daytime!" He cooed and gently prodded my cheek. I swatted his hand away. Damn bastard had no right to touch me!

"Besides Lovi, we're not strangers! I'm your friend!" Antonio grinned at me and I just gaped at him.

"When the fuck did we decide we were friends?" I really wish that had come out not so squeaky.

"Well I helped you when you were lost and we already know a lot about each other so I think that makes us friends!" Antonio nodded at his freaking stupid logic. I couldn't believe him, ugh, I am surrounded by morons.

"We're not friends." I growled and began my way back down the path. But the bastard couldn't leave it at that, oh no, he had to keep following me like some stray dog, er, wolf.

"Awww~ but Lovi, we are friends!" He insisted. I glowered at him, "We are not!"

"Yes we are!"

"No we aren't!"

"Yes we are!"

"No we aren't!"

"I'm going to keep saying yes~!" Antonio said in a sing song voice.

"Fuck it! Why would you want to be my friend?" I am ashamed to say that I mumbled the last part. Hey, don't blame me for wondering! I'm a pretty cool guy but for some reason people don't seem to see that!

"Ah, well," Antonio blushes, actually fucking blushed, "You're one of the only people who doesn't run away from me! And you're cute to! Who wouldn't want a cute friend!"

I goggled at him for a moment before turning my face away, preventing anymore 'tomato face' references. Not many people called me c-c-cute and meant it…

"Well I guess we could be f-friends, but ONLY friends bastard!" I looked at the ground, scowling.

I was not prepared to be glomped to the ground by a joyful wolf bastard.

"Oh thank you Lovi! Yay! A friend!" Antonio placed a quick kiss on my cheek and hugged me tight before letting me get off the ground. Which I couldn't do because I was in shock at what he had just done.

"BASTARD! What did I say about being 'just friends'? That means no kissing or hugging!" I shouted. Antonio, the touchy bastard, pouted a moment before nodding and helping me up off the ground.

So I visited my grandfather more since it would look freaking weird if I kept going into the woods for no apparent reason at all. But I made sure to leave early enough that Antonio and I could sit and talk for awhile, and I wasn't doing it to be nice! The wolf bastard just seemed lonely…okay so I was being a little nice but I never stayed and talked to him for more than two hours! And maybe when I was done at my grandfather's house I would talk to him some more…and then he would normally need to take me home since it was dark…Chigi, fine we talked a LOT. And sometimes the bastard would even encourage me to bring food since he didn't like having to catch other animals and eat them since he had a least SOME taste buds. I mean he's part wolf but he isn't exactly some freaking wild man who lives off the earth. Antonio even had fashioned himself a small hut where he would cook meals, but they were nothing compared to the awesome stuff I cooked! And it's not like we would go to his house and I would ask him to make something for me a lot, and even if I asked occasionally it wasn't AMAZING food…it was pretty decent though…


The sad part about all of this was that since I kept having to visit the old geezer that meant I had to keep wearing the stupid red cloak! I had hoped to burn the thing after wearing it once and now I was wearing it constantly! Almost every day!

Ugh, but anyways it wasn't too bad, I mean I got to see Antonio.

Not that I care about that bastard!

…Okay after two months of seeing each other I began to feel a weird fluttering feeling in the pit of my stomach. At first I thought I was sick but after awhile when my heart beat faster when the bastard was around and I began to blush when we just fucking touched…w-w-well I realized maybe I cared about the wolf bastard a bit more than I should. I mean he was part WOLF for goodness sake, didn't that make me some creepy weirdo who loved animals a bit too much? But Antonio was more human than wolf really so was the human part that counted more?

Ugh, it was just all so fucking confusing in my head! I really needed time to think this out.

So one afternoon while visiting Antonio I made up an excuse for the next day, saying I needed to go to town and buy more tomatoes. Antonio looked sadden that I couldn't come but I ignored him and just babbled on about how my tomato supply was running low and if I was going to make any good food for him then I would need to get more tomatoes and it was so hard to find excellent tomatoes around here and it would take me all fucking day to find at least a couple.

So in the end Antonio saw me off with a smile and the next morning instead of putting on that disgusting cloak, I just threw on a brown jacket and walked into town.

It was a relatively nice day, and I guess most people would be out and about today just talking and goofing off in the town square. Maybe some love struck idiots would be just sitting by the fountain and making goo-goo eyes at each other. Probably some of them would be kissing like disgusting idiots who nobody could see acting like love birds.

I wonder how Antonio kisses.

Crap! No! I quickly smacked myself. I should not think about stupid stuff like that! Even though I bet Antonio was a real good kisser because he when he was passionate about something he really went at it, like when he eats tomatoes, sheesh, he goes at them and then the juice dribbles down his chin real sexily and I just want to lick it off his fac-GACK! No, no, no! I turn and bash my forehead against the nearest building, which earns me a couple stares from passerbies, but I turn and glare at them and they hurry along. Fucking bastards can't mind their own business.

"Hello Lovino!" Ugh, here's another bastard that can't mind his own business. I fold my arms and place myself in a protective stance because honestly, this bastard is probably worse than Antonio. At least when Antonio hugs me or kisses my cheek I know he won't push it farther than that. With Sadiq Adan, I have no idea what he'll do if he gets his hands on me, probably rape me or something.

For anyone lucky enough to have never known Sadiq, I wish I was you. I have known this bastard for at least a year now since he moved into the town and for a year he has made my life even worse. Sadiq works in the woodcutter business, and while most people would think that a nice, humble job, Sadiq takes it to a whole new level. He doesn't work as a woodcutter, he employs them and runs a whole woodcutter business. He sets prices and sends certain woods all over the place. Apparently there are some rich people who only want certain types of wood from certain areas. And as long as there are rich people in want of something, there are true bastards like Sadiq willing to milk the business for all it's worth. And since Sadiq has all those rich clients he is pretty wealthy himself, probably one of the richest men in the town. Which means he gets everything he wants, when he wants it. Except for me.

Yeah, that's right, that bastard Sadiq wants me as his lover or something stupid like that. My luck sucks or something, I repel pretty much everyone else but I attract the one person who I could do without noticing me. Sadiq even comes to my house sometimes to 'call on his beloved Lovino', and he brings flowers and some weird food from his home. I keep telling him I'm not interested but for some odd reason the bastard doesn't get it and keeps coming back, acting like I'm playing hard to get!

"Lovino~" Sadiq purrs, suddenly to close to me, "I haven't seen you for awhile, I even came calling to your house and you weren't there."

"I was visiting my grandfather, none of your business fucking bastard," I growl as I step away. Sadiq just follows me even as I walk over to the produce area and begin looking at tomatoes.

"But surely you can't be spending entire days at your grandfather's house? I mean, not even your brother would spend morning till night there. You can't be getting lost in the woods for an entire day since it's been about two months since your brother asked you to take over taking food to your grandfather, and I would so hope you know your way through the woods by now." Sadiq leans against me and picks up a tomato, looking at it for a moment before throwing it back down. I don't even bother asking how he knows about my brother asking for me to take over for him, Sadiq was creepy in how much he could find out about me.

I could only pray he didn't know about Antonio.

"Yeah well I've found my love for nature." I replied smartly, trying not to show how nervous I was. Sadiq smirked and leaned over me once more and I couldn't help but shiver as he whispered in my ear, "Oh I know it's something much more than that, Lovino. I haven't figured it out yet, but I will. Because I don't like things that keep you from me." He smirked as my face went slightly pale and I felt him squeeze my shoulder slightly.

"But until then I guess I'll be seeing you around Lovino!" He said out loud, and then the bastard just went off, whistling some random tune.

I always denied when I was scared. I was always making excuses or shouting curse words at anyone who dared to say I was afraid.

But now, thinking about what Sadiq would probably do to Antonio…I was so scared that for awhile I couldn't move from where I was standing.

I didn't even bother grabbing a few tomatoes before I ran home. I burst through my front door and grabbed the stupid red cloak, because for some odd reason my panicked mind just thought that Antonio would recognize me quicker if I was wearing it. I was out of my house in five seconds, pulling on the cloak as I ran through the woods at top speed, calling out Antonio's name. I didn't trust that Sadiq hadn't already figured out what I was doing and who I was always with.

I ran along the path for what felt like forever, even though it was probably only two minutes because I wasn't even halfway to my grandfather's house, before I heard footsteps crashing through the forest at top speed toward me. I jerked around in fright before I smelled Antonio's familiar scent of tomatoes and the forest and felt Antonio's strong arms wrap around me, pulling me close to him.

"Lovi! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Antonio said while gently curling me into him. I leaned against him, realizing that I really was crying. Huh, so that's why everything had been a little blurry.

I just stood there before it hit me that Antonio was safe, and then I was suddenly grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down so that I could press my lips against his. Antonio was safe; everything would be fine now that we were together.

It took me only one millisecond to realize that Antonio was kissing me back, gently moving his mouth against mine and pressing our bodies closer. I had been right, Antonio was a good kisser. I shut my eyes and leaned more into the kiss, just letting the warmth of it engulf me and fill me with everything Antonio.

I felt like the kiss ended too soon as Antonio and I pulled back from each other, breathing heavily. I ducked my head into his chest, I didn't want the moment to end so I just slightly tugged on his hair and Antonio got the idea, letting me cuddle in his chest a bit as he placed his head into my neck, kissing it softly.

Finally I moved back and looked up into Antonio's big eyes, which were shining brightly.

"Lovino," he gently cooed and brushed a few strands of hair out of my eyes, "Ah, Lovino, Lovino, Lovino." Damn it, when he says my name like that…I felt my face heat up more as I let Antonio take my hands in his.

"Hah, bastard Antonio." I mutter as Antonio smiles softly at me.

"I love you a lot, Lovino."

"You have a big mouth idiot…but yeah I love you to." I grumble softly, but I can't keep the slightly pleased tone out of my voice.

"Well Lovino I expected a lot of you, but this?" No. Just no. Why? Everything was fine and I was feeling fucking warm fuzzies all over and now I just felt ice cold. I see Antonio's eyes train themselves behind me as I force myself to turn around and look Sadiq in the eyes.

Antonio notices my fear and I feel his arms move themselves around my waist as Antonio pulls me toward him, protecting me.

"Can we help you?" That was the first time I ever heard Antonio's voice so cold and hard.

"Yeah, you have something that belong to me and I would like him back now, mongrel." Sadiq smirks as he shoulders the axe in his hands. Oh please, please don't let it come to that.

I can tell Antonio didn't like any part of that sentence, me belonging to Sadiq or Sadiq calling him a mongrel. I feel Antonio's arms tighten around me as I am slowly moved behind him. I can feel Sadiq's eyes burn into me for a second before they flick back to Antonio and Sadiq is no longer smiling, but scowling.

"Really Lovino, you would choose a werewolf over me?"

"Technically he's not a werewolf; he doesn't turn with the full moon out." I can't help but blurt out frantically. Anything to stop them from fighting.

"Oh, so it's worse. It's a fulltime part mongrel part human. Honestly Lovino, I can't believe you would take part in something so," Sadiq's face takes on a look of distaste, "disgusting."

"He's not disgusting. And he's not an it, his name is Antonio and I love him so get lost fucking bastard." I snarl out. I'm not even thinking about anything I'm saying, or else I wouldn't have said something as cheesy as 'I love him'. I was scared before but now I'm also fucking pissed at Sadiq.

Sadiq just laughs and the axe is now back in his hands and he's taking on a fighting position. I grip Antonio's arm, trying to prevent him from moving forward. I know he's strong but Antonio against an axe…well I don't even want to think about how bad it will be.

But then Sadiq charged at Antonio and suddenly I'm flung backward and onto the ground as Antonio pushed me away from him. I'm momentarily stunned when I hit the ground, and I hear fighting noises clashing through the woods. I sit up and look around and I see Antonio and Sadiq going at it, with Antonio leaping gracefully out of the way of the axe and Sadiq swinging the axe with precision at Antonio.

At first Antonio seemed to have the upper hand, he was dodging all of Sadiq's swings and Antonio even managed to scratch Sadiq when he became unbalanced for a moment. However that fucking bastard Sadiq seemed to know how to use the axe to his advantage. He could keep Antonio far away enough that Antonio couldn't hit him, but close enough that Sadiq could chop at Antonio.

I felt useless, Antonio was doing everything and I really couldn't do anything without getting in the way. How is it that the way I can be the most useful is just by staying out of the fight?

I kept watching in shock as Antonio moved around Sadiq, trying to aim a blow to his back. However Sadiq took a chance and blindly cute behind him, and suddenly blood was running down Antonio's stomach.

"No!" My choked scream echoed silently in the forest as Antonio hit the ground and attempted to roll away from Sadiq. But Sadiq smashed his foot down on Antonio's injured stomach and held him down as the axe was raised, preparing to chop Antonio apart.

And suddenly I was flying off the ground and smashing myself into Sadiq's body. Sadiq, caught by surprise, grunted and was moved backward away from Antonio. I kept pushing and punching at Sadiq, trying everything I could to get him as far away from Antonio as I could.

My luck only lasted so long, Sadiq quickly regained his balance and I felt myself being whirled around and my back hit the trunk of a tree. Sadiq's leering face was suddenly in mine and I gagged at the stench of his breath. His hand worked itself around my throat and I could no longer breathe as Sadiq squeezed all the air out of me.

"That's it, just go to sleep and let me finish here Lovino." Sadiq's voice hissed in my ear. I attempted to curse at him but nothing could come out, so instead I just struggled, my hands tearing at his. Idiotic bastard! I always knew Sadiq was stupid beyond belief but I had no idea he was psychotic to!

The edges of my eyes began to blacken as my struggles were slowly growing less and less frantic. My eyes were drooping slightly and my arms just gave way, dropping back down to my sides as a few tears squeezed themselves out of my eyes. Please let Antonio have been smart enough to escape while Sadiq was distracted. Please at least give me that.

"Ack!" I heard Sadiq shriek as the constricting hand around my throat was suddenly gone. I gasped and took in huge gulps of air as I collapsed onto the ground, coughing and rubbing my now aching throat. I managed to look up and saw through hazy eyes that Antonio was practically ripping Sadiq apart while the axe was nowhere in sight. But however happy I was to see Sadiq getting the shit beat out of him, the insane look of anger on Antonio's face made me start struggling to speak.

"Ant…A-Antonio." I croaked out. I had thought my voice was too soft but Antonio's wolf ears swiveled in my direction for a moment before Antonio glanced back in my direction, momentarily distracted from Sadiq.

"Antonio, s…s-stop…" I gritted my teeth as my voice continued to shake. Damn it! Why did I have to sound so weak?

I gasped as I suddenly felt warm arms wrap around me and pull me up in a bridal style carry. Antonio's concerned face was above me and he carefully caressed my face.

"Lovi, shhh. Calm down." He said. I almost laughed at that, "Calm down? B-bas…bastard, you're the one who needs to couh-cal-calm down." Antonio frowned at this and shot another murderous glare behind him at Sadiq before I gave his hair a tug and he looked back at me.

"No, leave him alone. He gets it. Please don't kill him." I said, my voice gaining strength. It wasn't that I really cared much about Sadiq; I just didn't want to see Antonio get his hands bloody with murder because of me. Heck, I didn't want to see Antonio murder anyone really. It just didn't fit the goofball I had come to know and love…damn it when did I become so cheesy?

"Besides, damn bastard, you're bleeding out of your stomach!" I jerk out of Antonio's arms, remembering his wounds. But that bastard Antonio just laughs and says, "It's just a flesh wound Lovi!"

I'm in love with an idiot. I scowl and grab Antonio's arm, shoving him down the path towards my grandfather's house. How can the fucking idiot even stand? It looked like Sadiq dealt him a real deep blow there…I suddenly glance back at the fucker in question. Sadiq is just lying there, looking pretty badly beaten up but not so bad that he'll die if left alone.

"Sadiq," he looks up at the mention of his name, "I stopped Antonio from killing you once, but don't think I'll do it again." Even though I still really didn't want to see Antonio kill anyone, Sadiq didn't need to know that.

Sadiq gets the hint, probably scared of Antonio now, as he should be. He backs off slowly, and we lose sight of him as we walk around the bend.

I always thought my grandfather had a few screws loose. I mean, this guy likes seeing his grandsons dress up like fucking GIRLS for goodness sake. He even berated me for getting the stupid red cloak dirty! I mean the fact that the stupid cloak was covered in dirt and blood seemed more important than the fact that I had a werewolf boyfriend! The old geezer took one look at Antonio, and then swept me up in a hug saying how proud he was that I had finally found someone! He didn't even bother commenting on how Antonio had a huge gash in the middle of his stomach or how I was still wobbling a bit. Nope, he could only chatter on about how cute we looked together as he grabbed some bandages and salves to fix Antonio up.

I would say I was adopted except for the sad fact I really do look a lot like my grandfather.

So past the fact that all of my family seems to be absolute fucking morons, Antonio's wounds weren't to awful. They were still pretty fucking bad but looked a lot worse covered in blood and mud than they did when cleaned up and bandaged nicely, thanks to yours truly. I mean I wasn't about to let my senile old grandfather patch Antonio up, now was I?

My grandfather wanted me and Antonio to stay the night but I absolutely refused, knowing my grandfather he would probably start telling fucking embarrassing stories about my childhood that were completely UNTRUE damn it!

But there was no way I was going to let Antonio stay alone that night, so I invited him to my house. Of course the idiot acted all happy and started giving me hugs and kisses, telling me how glad he was to get to spend the night with me and all that shit.

And I would have pummeled him for making my innocent gesture seem like we were going to do not so innocent things but the bastard was still hurt so I let him off…with only two punches to let him know that I was not letting him touch me at all, not because I was embarrassed beyond belief! Damn it bastard.

So yeah, we went to my house and normally I would have kicked Antonio out of my bed and told him to sleep on the couch or something, but he was hurt and since I am a fucking awesome person, I decided it wouldn't hurt if he slept in bed with me. And maybe since it was a little cold I let Antonio snuggle up with me, but just a little bit! We didn't snuggle like lovers; it was more like snuggling up with a pet or something…okay fine, Antonio wrapped his arms around me and we cuddled like a fucking newly married couple.

And after that…w-well Antonio ended up needing to stay at my place a little longer and eventually I became so used to having him around I just finally told the bastard he needed to move in already. B-but Antonio told me he would only move in on one condition and the coy bastard decided that my kitchen would be the best place to fucking propose to me and I was so caught off guard that I said yes.

There was a bunch of stupid filler stuff when we had issues with the townspeople and Sadiq but Antonio put them in their place so I really don't consider that important. Feliciano was just delighted as my grandfather had been, chigi, they're both morons through and through. But I guess it made everything a little easier, knowing that family was behind me and all that shit. And Antonio and I have been doing pretty well, the house is a bit bigger and that idiot Antonio keeps bringing in turtles as pets. But he tells me how much he loves me every day and he freaking wants to make out and do… other stuff all the time.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that everything turned out alright in the end. And it could probably be said that we lived fucking happily ever after.

Alright so how'd I do? *headdesk* This is the longest fic I have ever written and it took FOREVER.