NOTE: This story will be narrated by several different characters. It should be pretty clear who each one is after reading a sentence or two, but I'm also putting the name of the narrator as the chapter title.

I'm not anywhere near done plotting this story yet, but I wanted to get started writing it - I'm too excited! This is sure to be a crazy trip, guys. Please join me, and if you can, leave me a comment every now and again. You won't believe how much they inspire me to get working! Critique, obviously, is also very much appreciated.

I didn't know what to title it, but I decided "Garrulous and Gritless" seems appropriate enough for Raditz (around whom this fic shall be centered, as far as I can see). He's all talk. Heh.

Without further ado, Gohan starts things off for us.


Part I


I wake up and I'm a little shaky. My clothes smell like the grass and that's probably not good, because Mommy usually doesn't it like it when my clothes smell like the grass, because usually that means they look like the grass, too.

But I'm not in a forest like usual and pretty soon I remember that I was flying on a cloud with Daddy to an island, a little island with his friends. I remember something wasn't right, something was scary—somebody took me away.

Some guy who said he was my daddy's brother.

But I look around and I don't see him. How did I get here? My body hurts a little bit, like I just flew through a wall. Pretty soon, though, I realize that he's behind me, that I was facing the wrong way. Why does my head hurt so much?

He's yelling but it's not at me. He's yelling at my daddy with that weird name. He's laughing but he sounds a little nervous; I know 'cause that's how Daddy sounds when he tries to lie to Mommy about why he's late for dinner, only this guy is angrier.

The scary green man whispers something to Daddy, but I can't hear it all the way from here, pretty far away. It's like they forgot about me here. I wish I didn't forget how I got here. I think I'm a little bruised up and there's some skid marks nearby. And some little scraps of metal. When I look across the way to see where the scraps of metal came from, there's a big crater.


The round cage he put me in. The mean guy took me, and put me in the round thing. I—I don't remember—somehow I got out. Sometimes that stuff happens. I just don't remember how I did things.

Now the scary green guy is charging at the guy with a tail like mine. My daddy stands real still, his hands at one side like he's trying to hold up a really heavy ball, or something.

Then there's a ball inside his hands. Glowing. He's really quiet. I think he knew it was going to happen. My daddy can do some pretty strange things, but usually he doesn't. Usually Mommy's not that happy when he does. I think she thinks I can do strange things too, strange like how I have a tail and nobody else I've ever seen does, until this guy. His hair's all over, more than mine and more than Daddy's, and his words are all over too 'cause he just keeps talking.

Then something changes.

The scary green guy has something in his hands and the all-over hair guy sounds different. Different like how my daddy sounds when he thinks he's not gonna get dinner. Except this whole thing is a lot scarier than no dinner, and now my head hurts even more. I squint real hard and try to figure out why the hair guy sounds different, or what the green guy has in his hands, or why the hair guy isn't running away from the green guy, who I'm pretty sure is on our side.

But then I tilt my head a little and notice that the green guy has the other guy's tail, right there in his hands. My own tail twitches a little bit, because I bet that really hurts. It must be why he sounds like that, maybe the green guy is going to hurt his tail.

"Please!" he shouts, looking across the way at my daddy. "Tell him to stop! I promise, I won't harm your son!"

My daddy's eyes flicker a little bit. "Or anybody else?" he asks.

"I'll leave peacefully!" his voice is really weird now, kind of like he's choking on something. "I swear!"

"Piccolo," my daddy says, and I guess that's the green guy's name.

"Don't think for a second I'm letting him go, Son," I can barely hear him because he's sort of growling it. I see his fingers move a little like his fists are getting tighter around the other guy's tail. I don't think Mommy knew any of this was gonna happen, or else she wouldn't have let me go. She says Daddy is always getting into trouble and I guess it must be true. She says he has to be a role model for me. But I don't even know what he does, and how does he do that glowing ball in his hands? It's getting bigger, now. "The second I let go," the green guy starts talking again, "he's just going to try to kill us again."

"I...I guess," Daddy says. The ball gets even bigger.

"Are you about ready?" the green guy asks.

The hair guy yells, "I swear!"

Daddy frowns a little bit and looks my way, and I must look pretty bad because his eyes get kind of big at me. I whimper a little. Mommy isn't gonna be too happy. Then he looks right back at the hair guy and seems angrier. "Ka," he says, and I guess I've never heard his voice like this, "" the ball gets bigger and bigger, and it looks even bluer than the sky and even brighter than the sun, and then he yells really loud, "HA!" and the ball shoots out of his hands, but the ball's tail sort of stays there and Daddy stays in that pose. The hair guy tries to move but the Piccolo guy still has his tail, squeezes it really tight and the other guy's eyes close and a weird sound comes out of his mouth. The big blue thing from my daddy's hands hits him right in the chest, and then Piccolo puts his hand on the guy's back to push him further into the beam. After a little bit, my daddy's arms fall to his sides. The hair guy crumples over, muttering things.

"We should kill him now," Piccolo says.

"No," my daddy kind of coughs; I think the blue ball thing wore him out. "Don't."

Piccolo growls at him and starts walking my way—looking straight at me. "Fine," (he doesn't sound very fine with it as he says it), "that just means I'll have to kill the both of you once I recover my strength." He seems really mad about it, though. "But you have made a foolish decision, Son," he says. "I hope you come to your senses soon and do away with him." Sounds a little bit like he doesn't think he can do anything about it. By now, he's a lot closer, but I also see an airplane in the sky so I look at that instead of him. I turn my head a little bit so I can also see my daddy out of the corner of my eye. He's crouching over the mean, big-hair guy. I can't tell what the look on his face means. The big-hair guy starts trying to move, but it seems like he can't. My daddy's just about to lift him up when the airplane lands.

"Oh my god," a blue-haired lady says when she gets out, and she's the lady who I saw on the island before. She runs over to me but before she gets here Piccolo grabs me off the ground. She shivers a little bit and takes a half a step back. "Let him go!" she kind of sputters.

"No," is all he says, and I'm getting pretty scared. What is he doing? I hope he's just going to carry me over to Daddy. But he doesn't look like it. His eyes are narrow and he's looking over me like how my mommy's eyes look when she tries to read the instructions on a new coffee maker, a little bit confused but like he already has something going on in his head for how to make something work his way. I sure hope it isn't gonna be throwing me across the room like how Mommy did this once with the new coffee maker.

The blue-haired lady shakes her head a little and then runs over to my daddy, and I see that there are a few other people who were in the plane with her who are already over there.

"I'm glad you're okay," they're all saying, and one of them—the one with no hair and some spots on his forehead—keeps looking over at me like he wants to do something but can't.

Then I hear the blue-haired lady kind of squeal and I thought for a second the hair guy had grabbed hold of her or something. But I see her run into the crater I came out of when I escaped the round cage, and she shouts something about a ship in a really happy voice. Then she runs back up and plucks that weird half-glasses thingy off of the hair guy's face, and he makes some growly noises about it, but he can't really move. Serves him right, I guess, for being so mean.

But I kind of wonder.

If he's my daddy's brother, will he live at our house?

I don't have any time to ask, because the next thing I know, while everybody else is patting my daddy on the shoulder and saying mean things to the big hair guy, I'm in the air.

The scary green Piccolo guy is flying in the air like the hair guy did, and he's carrying me away like the hair guy did. I start screaming so somebody will notice, and he says, "We'll have to fight him again, kid," with an even more serious voice than before. "Him and the two others he mentioned," he adds on. I don't remember two others, but maybe that was while I was asleep on the grass. "Don't think I didn't see what you did to him," he says, and I cry even louder, because I don't know what he's talking about and it's starting to scare me. I'm about to say something to him, something, to make him turn around and take me back, but I feel kind of fuzzy from my head hurting so much, and before I even say anything, everything goes black.