Hey guys. I'm sorry that I haven't written in the past seven months. It's Christmas break, and I finally got a muse. The characters may be a little OCC. And no it's not slash. It's a father/son fic. It's Tony's POV when it is first person, and Gibbs POV when it is third person. Thought I would clear that up.
Well on with the story. Have a Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year.
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or the song "I'll Be Home for Christmas."
"I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love, even more than I usually do. And although I know it's a long road back, I promise you…." I was sitting in my apartment, listening to the Christmas music that was pouring out of the radio. Everyone had a place to be tonight. Ziva was going ice skating with Abby, Tim was with his parents and sister during their week long break, and Jimmy was at Ducky's so the good doctor would not feel lonely during the cheerful holiday season. But the Boss man… I had no clue what he was up to. Once we were dismissed for our vacation, Gibbs was out the door and I haven't seen him since.
"Another Christmas alone." I shook my head, wondering if this season will ever get better for me. What with Mother and Father parading me around when I was younger, to Father completely ignoring me during the holidays after Mother died. The only thing I ever wanted for Christmas was to have a warm, loving family that cared for me with all their hearts. I knew that would never come true, not after thirty-six years of begging it to happen. I sighed, just becoming more depressed listening to my thoughts. I had lots of friends, most from college, but they all had their own families to go home to. I never asked to go with them, wanting someone to enjoy the Christmas cheer with their loved ones.
A knock sounded at my door. It was almost midnight on Christmas Eve, so nobody should be out at this time of night. I grabbed my Sig and looked carefully through the peep hole of my apartment door. I almost dropped my gun in shock. Standing on the other side of my door was none other than Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I opened the door and stood back, letting him know he was welcome to come in. Gibbs went straight to the kitchen and put away the food and beer he brought with him. "Not to be rude or anything, Boss, but what are you doing here this late at night on Christmas Eve?" I asked him as we both sat down on the couch.
Gibbs looked at me and sighed. "I've noticed that once the Christmas season starts you become quieter at work, even more so when the others begin to talk about their plans with their family. I figured you might be sick of spending Christmas by yourself so I decided to come over and keep you company. Got a problem with that?"
Wonderful. Gibbs is taking pity on me because I can't have a real Christmas with a family. "Well for your information, I don't mind spending Christmas alone," I said as I shot off the couch. "I love sitting on the couch watching It's a Wonderful Life with a cup of hot chocolate. It's been a tradition since I was in college. So yes I have a problem with you barging in and keeping me company when all you do is pity me. I don't need you here if that was your intention tonight."
Gibbs was shocked. He hadn't meant to come across as pitying. All he wanted to do was spend the holidays with a man he considered a son because they were both alone during a time of year when you held family close. He could feel his heart breaking as he watched the anger sizzling in Tony's eyes. He had hoped to have a serious discussion about what the two meant to each other. Except it just became so glaringly obvious Tony's feelings about him and his intrusion. "I don't pity you Tony. But if you believe I am, I'll leave."
I watched as Gibbs left my apartment, his shoulders slumped and an air of pain surrounding him. I sat down heavily on the couch, unable to believe I had just went off on a man I saw as a father. I went to the kitchen to see what Gibbs had brought and stopped short when I saw the presents sitting on the kitchen counter. He brought me gifts. Why would he… I took the gifts into the living room. Sitting down I opened the card first.
I know this was probably unexpected of me, but I could not go another year knowing you would be alone during a time when everyone needs a place to call home. You know I lost Shannon and Kelly; I have never really wanted to celebrate Christmas again. Until I met you. You somehow wormed your way into my heart. At first you were a co-worker, then a friend, and, as the years have passed, I can now call you my son. I can understand if you just see me as your boss. Still, I want you to know that if you ever need anything, no matter how big or small, always know that I will be here for you.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
I was speechless. He... He considers me a son! I have to talk to him! I ran to the door, grabbing my keys along the way but came to a halt. I threw him out of the apartment. He just wanted to admit his feelings about me. He didn't want to be alone, and I threw him out like trash, saying I didn't want him around. I'm going to fix this. I ran to my car, just noticing that my vision was blurring. I was crying, crying for my father and our hearts I had possibly just shattered. I hope I'm not too late to say I'm sorry.
At Gibbs' House-
Gibbs was sitting in his basement, debating on whether or not to drown his sorrows in bourbon or go to sleep and pretend it was all a nightmare. He chose the less painful route and stood to go back upstairs. He had just made it halfway up the second story stairs when he heard his front door slam shut. Gibbs froze, muttering under his breath about not having his Sig. "Boss!" Gibbs was shocked for the second time that night. Tony had come to his home.
I ran down his basement steps, believing he was down there working on his boat and drinking bourbon. I stopped halfway down the flight, realizing he wasn't down there. Maybe he went to a bar or something. He surely would have come down to see what all the ruckus was if he was home. I went back upstairs, and slid down the wall. I do believe I had royally screwed this one up. I pulled my knees to my chest and started crying. My first real chance at having a dad again and I mess it up. I guess Father was right; I'll always mess something up to the point no one will want me.
Stealthily walking down to the first floor again, Gibbs paused outside the kitchen door. He could hear Tony sobbing just on the other side. "I'm sorry Dad. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to act like a spoiled brat lashing out cause he had his favorite toy taken away. I realize now that it wasn't pity I saw; it was caring, understanding love." He could hear Tony chuckle grimly to himself. "It always seems that I can screw up any sort of relationship that I'm in. If you could somehow hear this Gibbs, Dad, I love you. I want to be your son."
I had slowed my sobbing enough that I heard the kitchen door open. My head shot up, and there was Gibbs, standing solemn and beaten. I jumped up and ran into his arms. "I'm sorry Dad. Please forgive me. I didn't mean it. I was just having a pity party before you showed up, and it put me in a foul mood. Please forgive me. I will understand if you don't." He was threading his fingers through my hair, rocking us both back and forth and effectively calming us both down.
He led me into his living room, sitting us down on the couch. "I already forgave you Tony. Stop beating yourself up. I lashed out the same way you did the Christmas my father came down after Shannon and Kelly had been killed."
"It's still no excuse for my behavior… Dad." Dad smiled down at me and held me closer.
"I know son. Now let's see if we can find It's a Wonderful Life on TV."
I stared at Dad. "You have satellite?"
He chuckled. "I got it in case you or Dad ever came over." Dad got everything hooked up, and we settled in to watch the movie. Hopefully this would be the start of a new tradition: A tradition that involves both my Dad and I.
The song is Rascal Flatt's version of "I'll Be Home for Christmas."
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