For those of you reading the Immortal's Granddaughter, and are tapping your feet impatiently, I'm working on it! Seriously! A levels are just very tough and demanding!
Anyway, read on.
Four times Donna nearly remembered
"Crap." Donna swore, stopping in her tracks.
It was no use, the train was moving, she'd never get on it now.
She sighed. Great. She'd have to wait for the next one. She was already late as it was, but nothing could be done about it now. If she could run there in time she would, but there was nothing she could do to speed up the time other than wait.
Reluctantly, she turned to go sit on a nearby bench, and the moment she sat down immediately started fidgetting, feeling aggitated.
She had no idea why, but for a while now she'd found she'd become extremely frustrated with public transport. Oh, and waiting. God she hated waiting around.
Walking wasn't quick enough, if she could do so without making people stare she'd dash everywhere, even if she had to take off her high heels andrun bare foot through the streets of London.
God only knows where she got the sudden energy from.
"Is this seat taken?" A dark skinned man asked her, pulling her out of her trance.
"No." She said grumpily, turning to glare theateningly at the board announcing the train times. Next one would be along in a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity to Donna. After a minute or so of more impatient waiting and tapping her fingers on the bench's armrest, she became aware that the man sat beside her was staring at her.
"What?" She snapped, turning her head. Donna had found confrontation usually worked in getting people to bugger off. It caught them so off-guard thatthey responded instinctively, and their instincts usually told them to back off.
"Nothing." The man replied automatically, like Donna knew he would, and she expected that to be the end of it but he continued. "I mean, have I met you before?"
Donna looked him over. Something about him DID seem familiar, as if she'd seen him once in passing, but nothing solid formed in her mind. A blankcrossed her brain, causing her brow to furrow in thought ever so slightly. It frustrated her, that 'blank' in the back of her mind. It came to her often, especially when people asked her about her 'travels'. Whattravels? Where the hell was she supposed to have gone?
She'd tried to explain it to her Granddad, but to her surprise, he'd brushed it off and told her not to worry. It troubled her at times, butshe didn't say anything, she never had the time. Her Mum and Granddad always shoed her away to do something whenever the subject came up.
"Don't think so, no." Donna said, still annoyed about missing the train. Hardly her fault if the bloody train had her taking out herfrustration on innocent bystanders!
"What's your name?" He asked curiously, still analysing her intensly and trying to put a memory to the face.
Donna didn't answer. She didn't want to give this complete stranger her name. Well, maybe if he were slightly more muscular and mysterious withblazing, smoldering eyes...
"Well, mine's Mickey." The man said, interupting her thoughts when he realised she wasn't going to tell him.
He looked up to see when his train was coming, before glancing again quickly at her face in puzzlement. It suddenly seemed to hit him where he'dseen her before and his eyebrows shot up.
"Oh I know! You're Donna! The red head travelling with the Doctor!" He laughed. "I am such an idiot! Are you still travelling with him? Is he around?" He looked around in all directions, as Donna slid away from him as far as the bench would allow.
"What?" She said. "What are you talking about? Doctor Who?"
Now the man, Mickey, was surprised.
"You know, the Doctor." When Donna looked even more confused. "Tall, skinny bugger, big hair, blue box?"
Something tickled at the back of Donna's mind..
Donna's frustration died away for a moment, and she became distracted with zooming thoughts, half memories, dreams, day dreams, dreams of dreams...
A flash of blue in her mind's eye sidetracked her, before the blank returned, it's appearance as frustrating and dominating as ever. What was it? That blue thing... Where had she seen it before...?
"Err, hello?" The man asked, waving his hand in front of her face.
The sound of an appraoching train saved the poor boy from being severely slapped.
"Look, I don't know you." Donna said angrily. "I've never met you! OR this Doctor person you're whinging on about! It sounds like you're in needof one! Just... just leave me alone!" And she got on the train.
To her relief, he didn't follow her. He had probably realised his mistake.
"Honestly Mum, it's only for a few days, stop fussing." Donna reassured her mother on the phone.
"Well just you make sure you come home safe and sound sweetheart." Donna once again had to wonder at the latest revelation that had emerged in the last few months.
Her family, for whatever reason, had been acting so strangely recently. At first Donna had panicked and thought for a minute that her motherwas ill. But after a little detective work (and using her womanly whiles at her Mum's GP) she was relieved to conclude Sylvia Noble was as healthy and stubborn as ever.
However, she still didn't know what was wrong with her to make her change so radically.
Even her Granddad, the sanest person she knew, had taken to watching her every now and then, with a strange disheartened look in his eyes, as if wishing there was something he could do, and then with her Mum...
Well, it had been a dramatic improvement.
For the first time in so many years, she was recognising her potential. It was nice... but at the same, worrying.
"Anyway, I'll see you when I get back. Bye Mum." Donna said, and hung up the phone, before turning to look out of her hotel window.
It wasn't the most exciting and exhilerating place in the world, but then what had she expected? It was a business trip afterall. She probably wouldn't have enjoyed it any better if she'd been sent to America!
... No wait, actually, she WOULD. Even if she had to work all day and all night, cooped up in a tiny little box room and not see any of the sights. Just being somewhere other than the UK would be bloody F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C.
Donna sighed, and put on her coat. She had some time to kill before the first meeting took place, and she supposed looking around Cardiff wouldn't be a complete disaster. It was still a change of scenery.
She soon found herself walking to Cardiff bay, compelled by some unknown desire. It would have been scary but she was used to it now. That strange impulse that seemed to control her nowadays, that... that sixth sense around places where she couldn't recall ever setting foot before.
"Maybe it isn't Mum who's ill, maybe it's me." Donna thought aloud. "Maybe... Nahh, rubbish."
She slumped against the rails and looked out over Cardiff Bay.
She wished more than ever to know exactly what had changed her so much in just a few short months.
She couldn't even pinpoint the exact moment it happened, it just... did. It was like waking up from a dream and not even realising she'd been asleep.
"Oops! Sorry!" Someone said as they suddenly crashed into her. She stumbled, and would've fallen if she hadn't grabbed hold of the railing in time. Strong hands reached out and grabbed her sides as if to steady her, and quickly helped her up. "Sorry, sorry! Should've been looking where I was going!"
She shook them off and turned around, mouth open and ready to yell when she just stopped.
He was bloody GORGEOUS!
"Hay, I know you!" He said in an American accent, looking her over. For a moment, Donna thought maybe she had been sent to America afterall.
She blinked, and since she didn't recognise him, came to the conclusion it was a chat up line. Donna hoped it wouldn't be along the lines of 'Hey, I know you! Weren't you in my dreams last night?' but hell, she didn't care what he said as long as it resulted in him giving her his number.
"Oh you do, do you?" Donna said in a flirty manner, smiling at him.
The man laughed.
"So, where's the Doctor?"
Donna's face fell. This wasn't one she'd heard before. In fact, it was more along the lines of an insult. Maybe she'd heard wrong...
"Sorry?" She asked, batting her eyes.
"The Doctor!" Jack said, looking surprised. "You know, alien, big hair... You called him Space Man at some point?" He looked puzzled.
Great, a gorgeous lunatic.
Yet something he said clicked. What was it he had said? Space Man. What was it about those two words that rung in Donna's mind like silent sirens wailing out in the dark...
But like always, before Donna could delve deep enough to work it out, she was interupted when the gorgeous man broke through her thoughts.
"Are you OK?"
"Sorry mate, don't know where the mental assylum is." Donna said, although it broke her heart to say it.
No! Why him? Why couldn't he be bloody normal...
"Are you calling me crazy?" He asked with surprise, more intrigued than he was offended.
"Yes, yes I am." Donna said, looking him in the eye. "But I'll still shag you." And she pulled him in for a snog.
Being Captain Jack Harkness, it didn't even cross his mind to resist.
"Jack! We've got a problem." A woman's far off welsh voice called out.
Jack sighed against her lips and pulled away.
"I'll call you sometime." He promised, and he quickly started walking away.
"But... I haven't given you my number!"
"Not to worry, I have my ways Donna Noble!"
Fantastic. A gorgeous lunatic who knew her name. Ah well, maybe if he got in touch she could refer him to her mate Belinda. She was a therapist, she could probably sort him out in no time.
"This is Donna Noble, she was brought into hospital after falling down the stairs." The nurse said, to an approaching Doctor.
"Are you just gonna bloody stand there!" Donna yelled. She'd been waiting ages, with a bloody broken leg. It made her sick just looking at thething jutting out at a completely wrong angle. It was a bit like looking at gymnast.
"Donna, sweetheart calm down." Her Granddad urged, at which Donna scowled, but sat back and waited as patiently as she could.
The nurse quickly pulled the pretty dark skinned Doctor, who had stopped in her tracks at the sound of her loud booming voice, over to her bedside.
"Donna, this is Doctor Jones." The nurse said, gritting her teeth while trying to keep her voice pleasant. "She'll be treating you today."
"Donna?" Doctor Jones asked, staring at her oddly.
"Do you know each other?"
"Yeah, course we do." Doctor Jones said, with a grin. "How have you been Donna? Where's the Doctor? Is he here with you?" She began looking round.
Donna looked at her as if she was stupid.
"Err... Isn't that supposed to be you?"
Doctor Jones seemed surprised at her reply.
"Anyway, Doctor, the leg?" Donna's Granddad quickly intervened.
Doctor Jones blinked, but quickly backtracked, appologising that she'd mistaken her for someone else, before glancing at Donna every now and then with puzzlement.
"We'll send her for some X-rays first." quick glance. "Nurse?"
The nurse obediently began carting Donna off, but not before Donna saw her Granddad and Doctor Jones begin talking quickly in low hushed voices.
What was wrong with everyone? Even her old Granddad was going mad!
Donna walked across the road, ignoring her slight limp from her recovered let, and went into the corner shop in a sullen mood.
The past few months had done nothing but rake up old memories that didn't seem to want to resurface at any time, and instead she was left feeling frustrated.
That Mickey bloke, Captain Jack Harkness (who still hadn't called her yet!), and that doctor from the hosital, Doctor... Jones! They couldn't all becoincidences, could they? Maybe she had a secret twin sister or something. That would at least explain her Mum and Granddad acting strange but...
Then why would they have called her Donna?
She walked in through the door, flew over to the freezer, pulled out a carton of milk and quickly joined the queue. In no time at all, she'd paid for it, and was walking outside, basking in the summer sun.
As she did, she narrowly missed crashing into a man striding along the pavement at an incredible speed. What was it about blokes walking into her lately?
"OY!" She called out. "Watch where you're going Mate!"
The man froze, and turned round to stare at her.
"Err, yeah." She shook her head. "Sorry, have we met?" Blimey, this really was turning into a habbit for her.
He looked familiar. The blank in her mind returned a moment to tease her, before retreating. She had memories of this man buried somewhere belowthe surface, and it irked her to no end. The man stared at her wistfully, looking for a moment upset and distant, before laughing.
"Don't you remember me? I spoke with your mother and Granddad not long ago." He said. "You were on the phone to your friend?" He immitated a phonewiggling a hand close to his ear. Donna paused to think. Yeah, she did remember. John Smith wasn't it?
She frowned a little though, as the blank returned to her mind again, but she pushed it away, too tired to try and see past it as usual. Whatwould be the point? It would only torment her some more.
"Yeah, I remember." Donna said, rubbing the bridge of her nose, frustrated not for the first time that her memory seemed to be failing her. "So, how have you been?"
She was being polite, but really she just wanted to go home. She had enough to do as it was without making friendly chit chat with some friend of her mother's.
"Not so good." The man said honestly, and then brightened a little. "But more importantly, how are you?" He hesitated. "Are you happy Donna?"
Donna stared. The way he phrased it seemed so odd, as if he genuinely cared. As if it went more than just a polite exchange of words between strangers, because that's what they were really. They'd only met the once, but somehow it didn't feel quite like that.
"I'm OK, I guess." She finally said. "You're a doctor aren't you?" She wasn't sure how she knew that, maybe he'd mentioned it at some point in their brief meeting. Must've done.
"I am." The Doctor said, also surprised. "Why, is something bothering you?" He seemed genuinely concerned.
Donna wondered for a moment whether she should share her fears that there was something wrong with her and with her memories, afterall there was something about this man which made her trust him but... she quickly decided against it. Admitting it to someone would be like making it real, andfeeling as she did that nothing could ever fix her, she suddenly wanted more than anything to deny its existance and pretend.
"No, nothing at all." She said with a silent sigh.
"Good." The man said, and turned to go to Donna's relief, but suddenly stopped and turned back to her again.
A grin was plastered on his goofy face, but it didn't quite meet his sad and lonely eyes.
"You're brilliant Donna Noble." He said. "Don't you ever forget that."
Then he turned tail and fled around the corner with his hands in his pockets, never once looking back.
Odd, Donna decided. A very Odd man. Brilliant? Her? Never.
She didn't -couldn't believe it, and yet something about the way he said it...
'He thinks you're brilliant.' A voice said in the back of her mind. It wasn't his, and it definately wasn't her's. It was someone else's voice, the voice of a woman with blonde hair and the wisdom of the world about her, with a hint of death and the howl of distant wolves...
An image of her smiled at Donna inside her head, and suddenly those two words came back to Donna's mind.
"Bad Wolf." The memory whispered. "Bad Wolf."
For a second 'Bad Wolf' held Donna's full attention. It stirred within her bones, filling her up to her very core with emotion, and belief, and strength. She remembered a moment when she was important, when she felt she was special, and suddenly she recalled what it was like to be relied on. What it was like to save lives, and see wonderful and terrible things... She remembered what it was to be the Doctor Donna. For one glorious moment she remembered.
And then it slipped away with the memory of the blonde girl just as quickly as it had arrived at the forefront of Donna's thoughts, leaving her once again clutching at departed memories, forever lost. And with it's exit the blank returned. That stupid blank that wouldn't leave her alone.
It really was like trying to remember a dream long after it had begun to fade away. It was a dream she longed to remember, a dream she wished she could unlock.
It was her Pandora's box.
She began working through a list of reasons she might have the blank as she walked home, but like every other time she pondered it, she cameto no realistic conclusions. She'd never get to open that box it seemed, but maybe it was for the best. If it stayed closed, death would never be revealed.
But then, niether would hope.
"You alright sweetheart?" Granddad asked her as she walked in and slammed the milk on the table.
"I'm fine." She said.
But she really wasn't fine at all.