If I owned RVB, I think the guys at RT would have a bit of a problem with that.

Hey! Zephyr here! And it's been less than a month than the last update! So I came up with this idea a few weeks ago and I finally got a chance to finish it a few minutes ago. It's not quite what I expected it to be, but I still think it's cute. And this marks my first Tucker/Church story. So with that, let the deadly tale begin!

Church opened his eyes to darkness. The crescent moon outside was covered by the clouds and the lights were off in Tucker's room. Even the purple and orange lava lamp, which was always on during the daytime, shone no light.

Looking to his left, Church saw the dark outline of Tucker as the usually teal-clad Spartan snored lightly in his sleep. Church rested his head against the wall, wondering when he was going to go back to sleep.

Drinking chocolate-covered espresso beans right before bed really wasn't a good idea.

Throwing the covers back, Church got out of bed and quietly walked across the room, slid open the door, and stepped out into the hallway, quietly sliding the door shut behind him. Whenever Church woke up in the middle of the night, he usually had to watch some TV in order to fall back asleep.

As he walked past Caboose's room, Church had to wonder if the former had stopped playing Naughty Bears long enough to go to sleep. Caboose had taken to playing the seemingly innocent video game at late hours in the night. Tucker said that he had heard Caboose laughing maniacally one night after he had sliced off a teddy bear's head.

Someone like Caboose should never be allowed to play violent video games.

Church walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, popping the tab as he walked into the living room. The TV was still on, though it was showing the infamous "polar bear" screen. Church grabbed a copy of Saving Private Ryan from the DVD rack, but found the DVD for Letters from Iwo Jima in its place. It took about ten minutes for Church to find the desired DVD in the case for Alice in Wonderland.

Church put the DVD in the DVD player and started to watch the movie. Even after the movie was finished, Church didn't feel like he was ready to go back to sleep.

"This is why we should have sleep medicine." Church muttered to himself as he threw the empty beer can in the trash.

A quick glance at the kitchen clock told Church that it was a little after four in the morning. Everyone else would be awake around six. At least they were meant to be. Tex was always the first one up and she hardly ever woke up before eight. Tucker almost always slept in until eleven, but he tended to stay up late playing video games.

Church turned on the PlayStation3 and started playing Dante's Inferno for a little bit. Tex had bought him the game for his birthday earlier that year and it had taken Church a while to get to where he was. Every time he wanted to play, Caboose would be watching a nature documentary on the Discovery Channel, which was all the more annoying when Caboose would start yelling at polar bears for attacking penguins.

Church decided that he might as well go back to Tucker's room and try to fall asleep, even he didn't think it would happen. He knew that Tucker would be confused when he woke up alone. Tucker didn't like it when Church left randomly in the middle of the night and got quite annoyed with the latter.

Walking into Tucker's room, Church found his boyfriend sprawled across the bed, his foot dangling off the edge and almost touching the carpet. His normally spiky black hair was dishevelled and messy.

Church climbed back in bed after pushing Tucker over to the other side of the bed and stared at the ceiling. He decided that he might as well think of something while he was trying to fall asleep. Tex said that usually worked for her.

Tucker grunted in his sleep and turned over on his side. Church looked at his boyfriend, wondering how he could sleep in such a strange position.

Tucker was almost curled up in a ball save for one leg, which was dangling off the edge of the bed.

"You're an odd one." Church whispered, careful not to wake up the cyan Spartan.

When he actually thought about it, Tucker did some pretty odd things when he was awake. Church hadn't met another guy who liked to eat dill pickles and strawberry ice-cream. Tucker was the only guy he knew that would clean his battle rifle on the living room couch while watching Edward Scissorhands.

Church looked at Tucker just as the latter groaned slightly and opened his eyes. Tucker looked rather confused to see Church awake in the first place.

"What's going on, Church?" Tucker asked groggily. "Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep." Church explained.

"That's why you shouldn't have eaten a whole box of chocolate covered espresso beans before bed." Tucker said.

"Then I wouldn't have had as much energy for sex, now would I?" Church gave Tucker a quick kiss.

"So what were you doing?" Tucker frowned, the cyan eyes showing his confusion.

"Watching you sleep." Church replied.

"Stalker." Tucker sighed. "I have a stalker for a boyfriend."

"You're pretty adorable when you're asleep, Tucker." Church said.

"That just seems weird, Church." Tucker said. "And I'm not cute."

"Of course you are." Church answered. "Especially when you're asleep."

"Oh really?" Tucker raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Church nodded.

"Care to explain how, then?" Tucker asked, waiting to see what Church would say.

"Well, I think it's interesting that you never sleep with a pillow." Church said.

"I've never slept with a pillow." Tucker said, running a hand through the wild spikes in his hair. "What's your point?"

"My point is that I've never seen anyone do that before." Church replied.

"But that's not exactly cute." Tucker said.

"Okay…" Church said. "I think it's cute how you have one foot dangling off of the bed."

"That's cute to you?" Tucker raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it's more interesting than cute." Church frowned. "Tex never did anything like that."

"Yeah, but how long were you going out with her?" Tucker asked.

"A few years, actually." Church responded. "Oh, and I like that little snore that you have, too."

"Wait, what?" Tucker raised an eyebrow. "I don't snore."

"Yes, you do." Church nodded.

"Do not!" Tucker exclaimed.

"So I guess I shouldn't mention that you talk in your sleep?" Church smiled.

"No, I've known about that." Tucker sighed. "My last girlfriend told me about that one."

"Ah, dammit." Church sighed.

"Was I saying anything interesting tonight?" Tucker asked as he rested his head on Church's shoulder.

"Earlier you were asking about why the cheese was dancing with the lemons." Church laughed.

"Oh, that's not the weirdest thing I've said." Tucker assured him.

"You should have heard what you said before you asked me out." Church said.

"I know what I said." Tucker said slowly. "I remembered it when I woke up."

"That's kinda depressing, dude." Church said.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Tucker said.

"But I've got you now and I can tease you whenever I want." Church said, wrapping his arm around Tucker.

"You're such a mean boyfriend, Church." Tucker sighed.

"Hey, you wanted to go out with me, remember?" Church said, his steel eyes on Tucker.

"Yeah, I know." Tucker shrugged.

"But you still look cute when you're asleep." Church said, earning himself a glare from Tucker.

Kind of an abrupt ending, I know. Still, I hope it was good. Reviews equal love! Thanks for reading!