Some would do anything for a chance to be immortal. To be a person who could never die, and live to see the end of the world. Never becoming sick, or dying from diseases that take more and more people every day. To be able to see every sunset and sunrise that ever existed. Many people wish to become immortal like me.
I would call these people foolish.
They don't know what it's like to live so long that you see the ones you love grow old and die, while you stay and grieve their death for all eternity. No one understands what forever is, it's impossible to imagine unless you are living it.
If these people who seek immortality ever gained it, they would surely regret it once they realized how alone they truly are.
To know that anyone you will ever love will die before you kind of makes immortality suck. Who wants to live forever when every soul you ever loved dies, and you have to sit and watch it happen?
Only this time I didn't see the one I love die. I was too late for that…
I don't know why I stayed away from her. Maybe at the time I thought it was best for all of us to just go our separate ways. I blocked everything that had to do with her out of my mind; I didn't want to be reminded of how I broke the heart of the girl I love.
I had no visions of Bella for the five years I stayed away. I'm not sure why this happened, I thought I would have been plagued with visions of her, but it was like she dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe me wanting to block her out of my mind had something to do with it.
Sometimes my mind would drift away though, and I couldn't help but to think of where she was now, what she was doing, and if she ever moved on.
I suppose this is what brought me here now, standing in the forest behind her old house, if it was still hers. It's only been five years, but it looks as if the house has been her for decades.
I wonder if she is in there now?
My curiosity edged me closer towards the house. I want so badly to go in there, and make everything better. I heard someone coming out of the house, as I stayed hidden in the darkness of the forest. I didn't want anyone to see me just yet.
Charlie came out of the back door, and began walking toward a mass close to a tree. His hair has become white on the sides; otherwise he still looked the same.
I watched as he kneeled down beside the tree and began talking. That is when I noticed it wasn't just a tree he was talking to. Right below the tree was a marble stone.
My eyes grew wide at the realization that it was a headstone. I crawled closer toward Charlie to see if I could get a better look.
I was afraid that it might be Bella beneath the headstone.
This can't be true. It's only been five years, what the hell could have happened? My chest began to ache, and I slumped down against the bank of the tree I was hiding by.
Maybe it was someone else, it doesn't mean that the person in the grave is Bella. I have to make sure.
I watched Charlie as he touched the headstone, and then made his way toward his car. He must be going to work.
Once his car was out of sight, I forced myself up off the ground and walked to the grave.
What I saw made me fall on my knees.
We will always love you
My hand covered my mouth as I tried to hush my sobs. I couldn't believe my eyes. Bella is dead.
A vision came to my head of the last time I saw Bella smile, and now I know I will never be able to see that smile again.
"My sweet Bella. I love you so much, and I'm so sorry I abandoned you. I never told you how I really felt. I guess you will never know now." I touched the tombstone.
I sat there in silence for a few minutes, until I smelt something disgusting and realized that I wasn't alone anymore.
My eyes roamed the forest until I found what I was looking for. A dog was watching me, and I knew it was no ordinary dog.
"I'm only here to visit my friend. I mean no harm." I spoke to the werewolf. I tried to look as harmless as I could.
"I know who you are." A man appeared next to the giant beast, and I recognized him as Bella's friend Jacob.
"It's okay, tell the others not to harm." Jacob said to the wolf. The beast looked at Jacob, and then ran off into the forest.
"You're Bella's friend, Jacob." I approached him cautiously.
"And you're a Cullen. Alice, right?" He asked me.
"What may I ask are you doing here?" Jacob folded his arms across his chest, and glared at me.
"I wanted to see Bella, but it looks like I'm too late. I had no idea this happened."
"You ruined what was left of her life. You should have never come back here."
"I didn't want that to happen. I never thought something like this would happen. I wasn't expecting her to be dead. What happened to her?" I practically begged him for answers.
"Who said that she was dead?" Jacob spat at me.
"What do you mean? There's a tombstone over there with her name on it." I pointed to the marble stone by the tree.
"You failed to notice that there isn't a day of death on the headstone. You don't know the whole story."
"Why don't you enlighten me then?" I asked
"And why would I tell you anything. I don't owe you a word, you're just a bloodsucker."
"Jacob please, is she still alive? I just want to know what happened. I would have never wished for this. I didn't want to ever leave Bella." I tried hard to keep my voice calm.
"Then why did you leave her? She never gave up on you, thinking you would come back someday, but you're the one her gave up on her."
"I didn't give up on her. You don't understand that we meant no harm. We thought it would be best if we let her live her life without us."
"Well, what you thought was wrong, obviously." He took a defensive step toward me.
"Please, tell me if she is still alive or not. I need to know. I love her." There was a hitch in my voice when I told him that. I was afraid of admitting my feelings to anyone, but I had to let him know.
Jacob studied me for a minute, and his expression changed.
"I don't know if Bella is dead or not. No one ever found her body." Jacob admitted.
There was still hope.
"What happened to her Jacob?"
"The red headed vampire came for her after you guys left. My pack tried to keep Bella safe for as long as we could, but one day she disappeared. No one knew what happened to her, but one day Charlie went looking in the forest for clues and came back with one of Bella's coats. There was blood on it, but no body."
I will always regret the day I left Bella.
"And that's all you've ever found? What makes you think that she is still alive?"
"Sometimes I can smell her scent, only it is tainted. It smells like one of you. Anytime we try to go investigate who it is, the person is already gone."
"So you think Bella could be a vampire?"
"It's possible." Jacob sighed.
"How often do you come across this scent?" I asked, now trying to figure out where Bella could be.
"About once a month. If she is still out there, she probably comes to check on her dad. He isn't doing too well since he thinks he lost his daughter."
"Did she know that you're a werewolf?"
"She's known it for a long time now. I don't think she wants me to find her, or anyone for that matter. I think Bella wanted to leave us all behind, it was too painful for her to stay here anymore."
"What do you mean?" I feared the answer would be because of us.
"Bella gave up on everything after you left. She hated everything about Forks, because it reminded her of you. I tried to love her, but her heart was always for someone else. She left me behind too." Jacob's face turned to stone.
I realized that Jacob was still in love with Bella.
"I'm sorry Jacob, I wish I could change what happened. I would have never left her if I knew what was going to be."
"Why did you leave her, Alice? She always talked about you the most, thinking that you would still come for her one day. The last time I saw her as alive, as a human at least, she was talking about you. She told me that she couldn't believe she ever loved you. She told me you betrayed her, and that she didn't know why she was waiting any longer."
My body ached when I heard him say that.
"I need to find her Jacob. If she is still out there somewhere."
"You might be in luck. Charlie has his birthday coming up soon, and I don't think Bella could resist showing up to see how he is doing."
"Can I stay and wait for her?" I asked Jacob
"I will allow it, but only because it involves Bella."
"Thank you." I smiled at him.
"Please let me know if you find anything." He asked me.
"I'm sure you'll be the first to know."