Chapter 1: The beginning of my end.
((((( Bella's POV )))))
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.
A/N: This is my first story ever. After reading many of the great fanfics out there, I was inspired. This story has a great story line, and changes constantly. Some angst, but plenty of love, and really hot love making, if I may say so myself.
I would love to read your reviews. Nice or not.
Oh, I know its a little short, but they will not all be like that.
"Stop! Stop! Get off of me!"
The tears welled up in my eyes as I scratched and scraped every inch of him on top of me. Making his desperate attempt to destroy my clothing a real chore. "Help!" I screamed, but I knew no one would hear me. No one would come to rescue me. Not this time.
As I felt the neck of my shirt ripping and my hair being torn out by the roots, I imagined Edward. My love, my life, my reason for being. I imagined him coming up to save me from this vile person.
But he was no where to be found.
I had alienated even him with my idiotic jealous rampages that were recently becoming more and more frequent. How could I ever doubt his undying love for me? How could I question the one constant in my life that always made everything make sense.
Tonight, after my rampage, I stormed off and decided to go and get a drink at Happy Time, a local bar, alone, just to calm my nerves. I had a great time with friends from school, as always. It always helped to distract me from my real issues. The sound of the music, the incredibly sexy eye candy passing by me every few seconds, and my favorite drink. What could get better than this.
If Edward insisted on choosing the most beautiful girls from class as study partners, I could choose the most handsome guy in the bar to dance with...to buy me drinks...to flirt with.
Even though Edward always claimed he never had any interest in any of those women, I knew better. Why would someone like him, as beautiful as him, be interested in one woman. One plain, ordinary woman with nothing to offer him except my heart and my body. I have hurt him so much over the years. But he always manages to forgive me and beg me back. To be honest, it should be me begging him back.
Pulling me out of my reverie, he whispered in my ear, "Hi honey, are you alone?" I looked up at this absolutely gorgeous man, smiled, and answered "Yes." He was absolutely gorgeous – at the time. He had the most beautiful tan with curly blond hair, slightly hanging in his face. He had on a white t-shirt with graphic writing on the front that showed off his muscles in the most perfect of ways, and the sexiest jeans that I had ever seen on a man. His voice was sooo calming and he smelled sooo good. I actually found myself flirting with him. Imagining how good he would feel up close to me.
The night passed very quickly. He showed interest in me. The same attentive, sweet interest that Edward showed me when we were early dating. Well, even now. I will give Edward at least that. He is very attentive to my every need, want, desire. But it never seems to be enough for me. We laughed and talked well until closing. He made me feel like I was fourteen again. Giddy, smiling, shy. The way he touched my hand when telling me one of his many stories or laughing at one of mine. The way his smile and his beautiful gray eyes pulled me in. Wanting more. More. More.
Without realizing, I drank more than I intended. I could not drive my car home. I refused to call Edward to come and rescue me once again, so I allowed this beautiful stranger to "escort" me home.
How could he ever be harmful to me? I thought. Too beautiful...too kind...huh...so I thought.
This kind, beautiful stranger, whose name I never got, asked me where I lived, and got on the road to my apartment. We laughed and talked the whole ride. I was so drunk that I never noticed the route he was taking. I knew this end of town, and I knew that I did not want to be here.
I asked him where he was taking me. He did not respond. I asked again. No response.
My buzz was quickly pushed aside as I demanded he answer me.
He looked at me with the most conniving look that sent shivers down my spine. I knew immediately what he planned. The way I acted tonight with him. How I showed him my legs and my cleavage, showing off my tattoo. My girly, flirty laughs. My sex stories. Now, all of that was no longer funny.
I quickly realized my error.
My next thought was to beg him to bring me home. To drop this. To even be friends still.
While I was debating my next words, he put a finger on my mouth saying, "Shhhhh."
What the hell is shhhhh?
Then the car slowed and stopped suddenly. I took the sights in. This was bad. Nothing could end good with this place.
The next thing I knew, I was being forced out of the car by my hair and drug across the ground like an animal.
When we reached his desired destination, he dropped my head and demanded I strip my clothes off. I sat there in total shock. Not moving. That would prove to be a mistake.
Those beautiful gray eyes, and that pearly white smile no longer looked as they did in the bar. It looked. Sinister. How could I have missed this? Edward always told me that my judgment of people left something to be questioned.
Now, I'm standing here, looking at him, hoping he is joking, trying to find a way out in my mind. Suddenly, he body slammed me to the ground, taking every bit of breath I had in me. There were all sorts of things on the ground. Bottles, trash, feces, boxes, rotten food. The smell was inexcusable. I smelled my blood as it pooled around my shoulders. Making me instantly nauseous. I willed myself to stay in tact. To stay focused.
"Please! Please! I'm begging you! Stop!" I yelled.
He leaned down into my ear and whispered, "I will have you tonight. Even if it kills you. You brought this on. You know you want this. Showing me those legs and licking your lips like did. You want this."
His strength was undeniable and his lust for me was dangerous. In my mind, I decided that my struggle was only prolonging the inevitable. If I only allowed him what he wanted then maybe I could live. I could go home to my Edward. Broken maybe, but I knew he would have me. He loved me more than anything and would do anything in the world to protect me. How could I have allowed this? I deserve this. I thought.
All of a sudden, just as I heard the hem of my skirt rip, then my lace underwear, I felt him remove himself from behind his zipper. I closed my eyes, fighting to hold back the tears. I would not allow him another moment of excitement – bathing in my fear. I am stronger than this. My body is all that he will have. I choose to keep my emotions, my heart and my mind under lock and key. I refuse to stay alert in this body while he rapes me.
His hard erection pressing against my center while he is touching and kissing every inch of my body. Grabbing my breast through my bra that he pushed up to expose me. Pinning my arms above my head, running his hands down my arms, my waist, my hips, my thighs. His hand trailed back up and stopped at my hip, squeezing it, holding it in place where he desired. By this time, there was no need to be so rough. I no longer had any fight left. I knew this was it. I could feel him down there, pressing, making his demand for an entrance into me. Making an attempt to make me wet. Trying to arouse me while choking me nearly lifeless.
Suddenly, I heard a car's tires screeching to a halt. I heard a voice. Maybe even a familiar voice. But how would I know. This must be me dreaming. Me in detached mode. Suddenly, he was off of me. I heard lots of cursing, screaming, fists being thrown, feet dancing back and forth, almost to a sort of rhythm, clothes ripping, gasping for breath, things being broken, and a sharp, but soft sound. Then suddenly...I heard nothing.
I lay there...naked, curled up on the ground, thankful that this dark hero had come to save me. Wondering how had anyone found us. We were behind a tall building. Hidden from eyes and street lights. An area that screamed dangerous. A place that sent chills up my spine just looking around. Taking in my surroundings. I wonder how many women have suffered my same fate. Only worse. Had anyone ever lost their lives back here? Their virginity? Their dignity?
Suddenly, I was aware of my nakedness and my shame flooded me.
How could I ever face Edward after this? I could still feel this creep's hands on me, kissing my earlobes, my neck, my breasts, my face. I felt permanently filthy and undesirable. Broken. Would he ever be able to look at me again? To see the women in front of him that he has loved for so many years?
My pain became insurmountable. I began weeping uncontrollably onto the ground. Not caring about the obvious filth that surrounded me. Screaming at the top of my lungs. "Oh my God. Oh my God. What have I done." My pain flooded my entire body leaving me no room to breath. No room to think. No room to envision any future that I desired. My body shaking uncontrollably, grabbing hold of this present knowledge.
I must have forgotten that there was another person that had come to my rescue, that was now slowly approaching me, hands out, palms showing. I drew back into the corner, covering any part that I was able. Clutching my legs, tucking every part of me as far against the wall as I could. Oh, how I wish I could be one with the wall. Never to be noticed again. It was so dark and so cold and to make matters worse, it started drizzling. Softly at first, them picking up speed. I could see steam escaping my mouth as I breathed harder and harder, readying my self to scream again. In fear that my dark hero may be no better than the creep that just tried to rape me.
He approached ever so slowly. Time seemed to still. My anticipation growing as my fear began its final decent to overtake me into the shadows. Slowly, still approaching, slowly, palms still out. Never a word.
Finally, as he stepped into the light, my heart skipped a beat. To my surprise, it was my Edward. But how?
He held his hands out, sensing my apprehension to his approach. As he continued, he took his jacket off and his shirt and stretched them out towards me, pausing, waiting for my approval to approach me. As I shook my head, he closed the gap between us, and commenced wrapping every inch of me in the clothing and whisked me up into his arms ever so gently.
His gentleness reminded me of the way I first held Alice's first baby, Brandon. He was so little and I felt like I could break him. I held him with careful gentleness, noticing his delicacy.
How could I have ever questioned his love for me and denied him happiness for so long. How could I take the one person in the world that loved me just as I am through the endless Hell that I had brought him. I did not deserve him. He deserves so much more. So much better.
As he gently placed me in his car, I unwound my arms from around his neck and looked in his eyes for a moment before shamefully looking away. He never said a word. He started the car and turned the heat on .
He then opened his wireless phone located between the seats and began dialing a number. Much to my surprise, it was 911, emergency services. I guess I just assumed we would just leave him here to wake up later, alone and defeated.
When Edward hung the phone up, he threw his head into his hands with exaggerated force. Shaking his head left to right over and over again. His breathing speeding up and his body tensed completely. I may have even heard a slight sob coming from him.
I curled myself up in the passenger seat and moved further toward the door. My shame consuming me. Looking at his reaction to the vile and repulsive things that this man had done to me. He would never be able to get this image out of his head. Never be able to look at my naked body the same. Never love me after what this creep has done to me. My body shook with pain as my world came crumbling down right before my eyes. My tears falling in volumes as this realization hit me once again. I sobbed and clutched my stomach with such force that I felt my skin ripping apart. It did not matter. This was my punishment for all that I had done. Was there a way to just lay here and simply just die? If not, maybe to just disappear. I felt worthless, used up. Who would want a woman taken like this?
Edward was still hunched over, body shaking, hands clinched and not looking at me. Not at all.
As much as I deserved this all. It somehow surprised me that his reaction was so harsh.
I can't blame him. I don't want to look at me either.
The Emergency Responders arrived and Edward left the car to go and speak to them. The paramedics came to speak to me, asking if I needed to go to the hospital. I, of course, denied them. No real harm done. He never inserted into me. They only bandaged my wounds on my shoulders from the broken glass.
My bruises that I now carry could never be fixed or bandaged up by some doctor. They are much deeper. Cutting like a sword deep within my being. Removing everything good within me. Leaving me a hollow shell. Void and without purpose.
I then saw the Coroner arrive and roll a body off to a van. My mouth fell. I jumped out of the car, screaming for Edward who was then in handcuffs.
"He was defending me." I shouted.
"Would you rather he raped me and had been able to live!"
"Edward!" They held me away from the scene and from Edward. He never looked up at me while calling for him. His look resembled shame, even remorse. What had he done?
They questioned him over and over...person after person. What were they trying to get him to admit to? What possibly could be so unforgivable?
How could this be happening?
After what seemed like hours, I was escorted home by an officer, Edward's car was towed away, and Edward was placed in the backseat of a cruiser.
Oh, my God! My Edward. I thought while sobbing. What have I done.
A/N: OK. I know that you have an opinion, so let me have it. Good or bad I want to hear it. Let me know if this is worth going forward with. I will write if you want to read. Thank you for your time so far.